Dreams Do Come True
A/N – This is another alternate take on events in my Musings storyline. This time, the story goes back to Revelations time, and is based on the thought that Hawke initially doesn't respond to Caitlin's confession.
Summary – Hawke doesn't give Caitlin the response she expected to her confession. How will this affect their friendship, and how will they both respond?
Flashback – Revelations
"Hawke, have you ever had feelings for somebody, somebody you worked with, and you were afraid that you wouldn't be able to keep working with them because you knew your feelings for them would get in the way?"
I'm not sure what she expects me to say...especially when I'm having the same feelings. Wonder who she's talking about, Hawke thought to himself. Aloud, he'd said, "I suppose so. Why? Who is it? Somebody at the hangar?"
She couldn't even look over at me when she answered me, Hawke thought to himself. "Yeah."
Hawke found himself trying to figure out who she might be referring to, but kept coming up blank. Of course, I'm not exactly thinking straight, since for some strange reason, I'm suddenly feeling very jealous. Aloud, he said, "Who?"
Caitlin wasn't sure she could get the words out, but she finally listened to her heart, and whispered, "You, Hawke."
"Me?" Even with his super-sensitive hearing, he wasn't sure he'd heard Caitlin right.
"Yeah, Hawke. It's you. I like you...a lot."
End Flashback
Caitlin
What? He can't even respond to me. I can't believe it...I think I just made a complete fool of myself, Caitlin O'Shannessy thought to herself, fighting back tears as the echoes of her confession to Stringfellow Hawke died an empty death in the chopper they were riding in. That's it. I can't take this anymore. "I'm sorry, Hawke. I shouldn't have told you, since you obviously don't feel the same way I do." She turned her face away from him, not wanting him to see her crying.
Hawke
I don't know what to say, Hawke thought to himself as he slowly set the chopper down. After he shut down the engines, he opened the pilot's-side door and climbed out, and walked a short distance away to try to gather his thoughts. I like you too, Caitlin... a lot, was the thought that burned in his mind, but for some reason, the circuit between his brain and his mouth had shut down, and he couldn't voice the feelings that burned in his heart. I don't want her to see me like this, he told himself as he felt tears well up in his own eyes.
Caitlin
I have to leave, Caitlin thought to herself sadly. Santini Air...and California. I can't stay here, I can't keep working at Santini Air knowing that I'd see Hawke every day, and loving him so much. It would...it would just hurt too much, she said to herself as she opened the co-pilot's side door and climbed out of the chopper, leaning her head against the side of the chopper as her tears bubbled over and she began to cry. I can't even believe I'll have to ride back to the hangar with him. I don't ever want to see him again, she determined angrily, tears still flowing down her face. But, I don't have a choice – we flew too far for me to walk back there. She leaned against the chopper and closed her eyes, as she wiped her eyes against the flood of tears that flowed down her face.
I can't believe this, Caitlin continued grumbling to herself. Is he some kind of machine? Doesn't he know how much his silence hurts me? Does he even care? Questions rolled through her mind, tumbling one on top of the other as she watched him walk a short distance away from her and lean against a tree. I still remember the first day he smiled at me...
Flashback
"Caitlin! Deputy Caitlin!" Stringfellow Hawke looked up and found the pert, attractive redhead staring at him. His face split into a huge grin as he recognized her, dropping the bolt he was working with.
"You could wear this around your neck," Caitlin said to him as she picked up the offending piece of hardware and handed it back to him.
End Flashback
I thought he felt something for me, Caitlin admitted to herself, but, like so many things in my life, I was wrong. And Mom's right. Her mother had been telling her in phone calls and letters ever since she moved to California to forget that "danged fool" and come home. But I can't do that, she sighed through a fresh wave of tears. Somehow, I'll make him understand. I'll make him figure out how much he means to me. How much...I love him, she said to herself as she glanced towards the tree where he stood.
Hawke
I'm sorry, Caitlin. I won't blame you if you leave, Hawke said to himself as the tears continued to flow down his face, even as he heard Caitlin crying a short distance away. I can't help how I feel. I can't...I won't risk losing you the way I lost Kelly...or Gabrielle. Don't you see how much danger you would be in if you got involved with me? He thought about Robert Villers, the man she had been most recently dating until he revealed himself to be a mercenary, who had only gotten close to her in order to try to murder industrialist Carter Anderson III. People like Villers are all over the world, and they'll stop at nothing to get what they want, Hawke said to himself, especially if that something is Airwolf. You'd be better off back in Texas, with a nice cowboy who can give you everything you want...everything you deserve.
Caitlin
Don't you understand, Hawke? Don't you understand that you're everything I want? That I've dreamed about you practically every night since that kiss on the movie set? Caitlin's mind cried out to him, knowing he was too far away to hear her voice, even with that super-sensitive hearing of his. What am I thinking? Hawke doesn't know I've dreamed about him all this time...'cause I've never told him. But I know what you're scared of, Hawke...you're scared that if you admit how you feel about me, you're gonna lose me, like you lost Gabrielle...and Kelly before that. But, I'm not either one of those women, Hawke. I can take care of myself just fine, thank you very much.
She thought back over everything that had happened between them in the short time they had known each other, especially the kiss they had shared on that movie set. I never felt anything like that, she said to herself as she recalled the feelings she experienced when their lips had met, once Hawke decided to let his feelings take over. I understand that the director had to get him to relax and open up...that didn't bother me. Heck...I did threaten to bite him if he tried anything, Caitlin recalled, and had to chuckle at the memory, in spite of the situation. Once he did relax, though...my God, I've never felt anything like that before. Robert couldn't even make me feel like that, Caitlin said to herself as she recalled her last serious boyfriend, Robert Villers. I don't think I'll ever be able to kiss another man without comparing it to that kiss, she told herself sadly, and knowing that Hawke's the only man I ever want kissing me. Forever, and always. But if he doesn't feel the same way...she stopped herself as another wave of tears overwhelmed her. I can't keep this up, she thought to herself despondently. I have to tell him that I'm through waiting for him. I have to tell him that I'll always love him, but if he doesn't feel the same way, I can't stay here. But something kept her from moving, kept her from walking over to him and telling him exactly how she felt, and how angry she really was.
Hawke
Why can't I ever find happiness, and have it last? Hawke cried out in his mind. I was so happy with Kelly...and with Gabrielle...and they both were taken away from me. I guess that's why I don't believe in God, he admitted to himself. If God really cared about people the way I always heard he did, he wouldn't keep doing this to me, dammit! He'd let me be happy with someone...wouldn't he? Suddenly, he felt the winds change, and heard a voice whisper to him... "Hawke? Hawke?" He looked up, expecting to see Caitlin standing in front of him, and was shocked to see ghostly images of both his former girlfriend Kelly, and Gabrielle Ademaur, the woman he had been in a relationship with before Archangel sent her to Libya, where she was captured, tortured, and murdered by Charles Henry Moffet, the man who built Airwolf.
Kelly
"Hawke...if you don't mind me saying this, WHAT IN THE HELL are you doing?" Kelly asked him. "Don't you see how much Caitlin loves you? Everybody else can," she quietly reprimanded him. "And don't give me that malarkey about "I'm cursed," either. Nobody could have stopped the accident, Hawke. Even the police report said that – you read it," she stated firmly, and Hawke had to grudgingly admit that Kelly was right. Nobody could have stopped the person who crossed the center line and struck Hawke's car broadside, which had killed Kelly instantly. "That's why they called it an accident, Hawke."
Hawke
"Fine, Kel. I'll give you what you're saying. But, what about Gabrielle? Her death was no accident," Hawke growled as he remembered Gabrielle dying in his arms in the Libyan desert. "She's dead because of me."
Gabrielle
"Wait just a minute, Hawke," Gabrielle's spirit nearly shouted. "Moffet was crazy. He'd already killed Angela, who you weren't seeing, besides the fact that he killed most of the crew at Red Star when he stole Airwolf. It was just blind luck that Michael and Marella made it out of there alive. Moffet was a sociopath at best, and at worst, a complete and total psychopath. I told you before – he stole Airwolf and went to Libya so he could do exactly what he wanted to with women. And, Moffet would have done the same thing whether you had been involved with the project, and me, or not! Don't blame yourself for what happened to me...or, to Kelly," Gabrielle stated firmly, smiling at the spirit of Hawke's high school girlfriend, then turning her cold expression back to Hawke.
"You're carrying ghosts around that you don't need to, damn you! And, you're killing that poor girl, as sure as you think being involved with you would kill her. Hawke...I know you think Caitlin's safer without you in her life...but, do the words "ZEBRA SQUAD" mean anything to you?" Hawke did recognize the name of the FIRM's specialized assassination squad, and knew what Gabrielle was trying to tell him – if Caitlin ever disappeared, and he did nothing to find her, for whatever reason, Zebra Squad would find her...except, she wouldn't be alive when they finished with her, Hawke thought to himself, as Gabrielle bored in on him. "Oh, and let's talk about your parents...and Saint John," Gabrielle's spirit continued, ignoring the enraged expression on Hawke's face.
"Your parents' death is no more your fault than Kelly's was," Gabrielle continued. "Were you the drunk idiot that was driving that boat? I don't think so. That's why they call them 'accidents,' Hawke," she continued, reemphasizing the word Kelly had used when she talked about the crash that took her life. "You were no more at fault for their deaths than you were for ours. Period. End of story. As for Saint John...well, I can't tell you everything...but that's not your fault, either. Well...we've pretty much exploded everything that you've been carrying around inside...so what are you going to do, Hawke?"
Hawke
I can't believe it, Hawke thought to himself, as he felt his heart warm at the words he'd just heard. But what they've said...it makes sense. How could I have been so stupid? And, is it too late? He also felt something new...a genuine admiration, and love, for Caitlin, that he knew had been there all along. Now, however, with the lifting of these burdens from his mind and heart, it was finally allowed to rise to the surface, where Hawke could act on it.. "Kelly...Gabrielle...thank you. Thank you for everything."
Kelly
"You're welcome, but you didn't answer Gabrielle's question, Hawke. So. What are you going to do, Hawke?" Kelly demanded, echoing Gabrielle's words from a moment ago.
Hawke
"I..I'm going to try to make things right," Hawke stammered as he glanced back towards Caitlin. "One way or the other, I'm gonna make things right." He turned back to the spirits standing before him. "Thank you both again...so much," Hawke said as he watched the two spirits fade away, and turned back towards Caitlin.
Caitlin
Oh, God. He's coming back. Well...I guess it's now or never, she said to herself as she dried her eyes and worked to calm her nerves. When Hawke stopped in front of her, she looked up at him, surprised that his eyes were still wet with tears, and said, "Hawke. There's something I have to say to you. I have to leave. As soon as we get back to the hangar, I'm gonna pack up my stuff...and then, I'm gonna do what my mom keeps asking me to do, and go back to Texas. I can't..."
Hawke
"Caitlin, I'm sorry. For everything. And I need to tell you something. I love you," Hawke said after he interrupted her by placing a finger over her lips. "I've loved you...and, I've been in love with you, for a very, very long time. I've just been afraid to admit it, until now."
Caitlin
What did he say? Did he just say...he loves me? God, please tell me I heard that, Caitlin silently prayed, until she felt Hawke take her in his arms and kiss her, an even more passionate kiss than the one from the movie set. Oh, thank you, God! Thank you! Her mind screamed as she lost herself in the emotion of the kiss, even as she felt her brain short-circuit. Finally, the need for oxygen overcame their need for each other, and Hawke broke the kiss, allowing her to pull back and compose herself. Hawke smiled to himself, as he realized he might just have kissed Caitlin absolutely senseless. When Caitlin thought she had recovered her voice enough to construct a complete sentence, she gazed into Hawke's eyes and whispered, "What...what happened?"
Hawke
"I...um...I got some good advice. From some old friends," Hawke admitted as he drew Caitlin close to his body again. "You probably won't believe this...but I saw Kelly...and Gabrielle. And they...they set me straight."
Caitlin
Well, you're right, Hawke – I don't believe it. "Hawke...I looked over at you a number of times while you were sitting over there. I didn't see anybody."
Hawke
Why am I not surprised? "Cait, do you trust me?"
Caitlin
"Of course, I trust you. I trust you with my life, Hawke," she replied firmly.
Hawke
"Then, trust me now. Trust me when I say that I know how much I've hurt you...and, if there was a way I could make up for it, I would. All I can do is tell you the truth. Caitlin O'Shannessy, I love you. And, I always will," he promised.
Caitlin
Thank you, God...or Kelly, or Gabrielle, or whoever! "Hawke...I love you, too," Caitlin whispered as she pulled him close for another kiss.
Six Months Later, at the cabin
Caitlin
"Hawke? What's going on?" Caitlin asked as he sat her down on the couch after dinner, while Dominic sat down across from them. Caitlin's mother was also there, and she stood a few feet away from them, hoping against hope that she knew the reason Hawke had invited her to the cabin, as she glanced over at her youngest daughter.
Maggie
She hasn't seemed this happy since I-don't-remember-when, Maggie thought to herself. Guess these last six months have been good to her...and it seems Hawke's finally come to his senses and started being good to her, too. But, why did they fly me all the way to California from Texas, and then invite me all the way up here for dinner? Unless...no. He can't be going to do that, can he?
Caitlin
These past six months have been the most wonderful in my entire life, Caitlin thought dreamily. Ever since Hawke told me he loved me, life is...just perfect. Well...almost perfect, she had to admit. There's only one thing that would make it better...but that's just dreaming, she admitted to herself.
Hawke
Well, here goes, Hawke said to himself as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his slacks and pulled out a small, maroon velvet box. As he dropped to one knee, he noticed tears flooding Caitlin's eyes. He opened the box to reveal a stunning oval cut diamond ring and asked, "Caitlin O'Shannessy, will you make me the happiest man on Earth...and marry me?"
Caitlin
"Oh, my God, yes! Yes, Hawke, I'll marry you!" Hawke gently slipped the ring onto her hand as he drew her to her feet for a passionate kiss, even as he heard Dominic shout, "Goddammit, String, it's about time!" Maggie added her own exultation. "YES! Thank you, God!" Caitlin smiled at Hawke as they separated. Hawke looked over at his friend and surrogate father, as Dominic came over to give the couple a warm, loving embrace.
Dominic
"Well, it took long enough...and a little nudge from some old friends," Dom grinned as he recalled String telling him how the spirits of Gabrielle and Kelly had visited him and set his head straight, "But, damn, I'm glad you finally saw sense!"
Maggie
"So am I, Stringfellow Hawke...even if I don't quite understand it all," Caitlin's mother stated firmly, as she embraced her soon-to-be son-in-law. "Would you mind terribly explaining it again?"
Hawke
"No, I wouldn't mind, Maggie," Hawke replied as Dom served up champagne for everyone. "Six months ago, Caitlin and I were on a check ride when she told me she loved me...well, at first, she just said she 'liked me...a lot,' but I had a hunch what she meant," Hawke said with a grin. "But I didn't answer her. I just set the copter down and walked away. I knew what I wanted to tell her...that I loved her the same way, but I just couldn't do it.
So, as I sat there buried in my own self-pity, I was...visited, for lack of a better term, by two spirits – my high school girlfriend Kelly, and Gabrielle – a woman I had been involved with after Kelly, but before Caitlin came into my life," Hawke admitted. "They both explained to me that everything that I was carrying around – all the self-pity about that curse I thought I had, was just silly – they both made me understand that there wasn't anything I could have done to prevent their deaths, or the death of my parents. And, they also explained that I was cheating myself out of a wonderful relationship by not getting closer to Caitlin. And, they were right," Hawke said with a smile.
Dom
"Well, String...Cait and I told you that for months, didn't we? Don't you wish you had listened to us?" Dom demanded with a grin.
Hawke
"Yeah, Dom. I do. It would have saved us all a lot of grief," Hawke admitted with a smile towards his surrogate father. "No hard feelings?"
Dom
"Nah, no hard feelings, buddy. I'm just glad you pulled your head out of your ass, before it was too late!" This statement was met with a round of laughter from everyone, including Hawke. "You know, String, if you don't mind my saying so, I think you've developed a sense of humor these past six months. And, I like it," Dominic told his surrogate son.
Caitlin
"Me too, Dom. At least I've done SOMETHING good for this guy," Caitlin laughed as she moved closer to Hawke on the couch.
Hawke
"Caitlin, you have done more for me in the past six months than I can repay in the next sixty years," Hawke answered her with a grin. But, I'm sure I'll enjoy trying, he added to himself with a smile.
Maggie
"Well, again, Stringfellow, congratulations – and, thank you for allowing me to stop worrying about whether you would ever see sense about Cait," Maggie said. "I don't mind telling you, some of the letters she wrote to me said things that made my hair curl. And I began thinking that her father and I would have to come out here and find you ourselves. And trust me on this, Stringfellow – you would NOT have wanted Patrick angry with you," Maggie told him with a smile.
Hawke
"From what Cait's told me about her dad, Maggie, I don't doubt you for a minute," Hawke replied. "I wish I could have met him...as long as the circumstances were more like this," Hawke finished with a grin.
Caitlin
"Well, Hawke, under these circumstances, I think you and Daddy would have gotten along fine," Caitlin answered him, noticing her mother nodding in agreement. "You two had quite a bit in common, actually. Both of you stubborn as a couple of Georgia mules...and sometimes, just about as intelligent!" Everyone erupted in laughter at that statement, even Hawke himself.
Maggie
"Caitlin O'Shannessy! I don't believe you just said that," Maggie chuckled. "Don't get me wrong – I'm not disagreeing with you – just saying I can't believe I heard that." Maggie thought back to Caitlin's father Patrick, and the nearly two years she had spent trying to get him to realize how much she cared about him, not too unlike Hawke with Caitlin. In that respect, you got off easy, sweetheart, Maggie said to herself as she glanced at her daughter. It didn't take nearly as long for your Hawke to come to his senses. "Well, I think I can safely say that your daddy would be very happy at what's happened here tonight, Cait," her mother said with a grin. "I just wish he were here to see it."
Hawke
"I understand, Maggie. And, I wish my parents could have been here, too. But, I would just bet that wherever they are, they're telling stories about us to anyone and everyone who will listen," Hawke replied, smiling.
Maggie
"You know something, Stringfellow? I think you might be right," Maggie said with a grin as she stood up. "Well, it's been a lovely evening, everyone, but I think I'm about ready to head for home – although, I doubt I'm going to get a lot of sleep tonight," she added, winking at Caitlin. "I don't sleep well when I get excited like this."
Caitlin
"I know what you mean, Mom," Caitlin agreed with a smile. "I feel like I could stay awake for a week." She grinned at Hawke, who was staring in shock at the woman who would soon become his wife.
Dom
"Well, am I taking you both back to the hangar at once, or do I take Maggie first and then come back for you, Cait?" Dom asked, although he had a feeling he knew what the answer was going to be.
Caitlin
"Actually, Dom, you can go ahead and take Mom back...I think...I'd like to stay here tonight, if that's okay with Hawke," she glanced over at him, an impish grin on her face.
Dom
Why am I not surprised? Dominic said to himself, noting that Maggie had a similar expression. "Well, if you're sure, Cait...I guess we'll see you in the morning...maybe," he smiled and gave them both congratulatory hugs before he and Maggie left the cabin. Hawke and Caitlin stood arm-in-arm in the door and waved as the helicopter left.
Hawke
"What made you decide to stay here tonight, Cait?"
Caitlin
"Because tonight, I want to be with the man I love...the man I'm going to marry," she grinned as she said it, and Hawke thought he noticed a particular look come into her eyes. "What? You have some kind of problem with that?"
Hawke
Oh, crap. I did it again, Hawke said to himself, knowing that his seemingly innocent question had been enough to upset Cait. He quickly moved closer to her and took her in his arms, pulling her closer as he told her, "No, Cait. I'm sorry I said that. Just so you know – I don't have a problem with that at all." He was sure she could feel his physical reaction to her closeness, but the thought didn't terrify him as it had in the past. That visit from Kel and Gabrielle was like a miracle, Hawke said to himself as he embraced Caitlin again.
Caitlin
"Apology accepted, Hawke," she answered him as she snuggled deeper into his arms. Her own desires were welling up inside her, and she wasn't sure how long she could contain them, especially now. Fortunately for her, Hawke read the signals she was sending loud and clear, and scooped her up in his arms and headed straight for the stairs to the bedroom, finally ready to show her just how much he loved her.
Three months later...
Hawke
I can't believe this is happening, Hawke said to himself as Saint John finished with his tie. Not only am I getting married today, but Saint John's here to witness it. Hawke didn't know all the details about the strike mission that had freed his brother, along with six of their buddies from 1st Air Cav, from a prison camp near Laos, but at this moment, he could care less. All that matters is – Saint John's home, and I'm marrying the woman I love.
Saint John
"So, let me see if I've got this straight, String," Saint John said as he finished with Hawke's tie, "You're telling me that you were...'visited' by Kelly and Gabrielle, and that they set your head straight about Caitlin? You'll have to excuse me, but I don't buy it, little brother."
String
"I know what you mean, Sinj, but take my word for it – that's exactly how it happened," String answered his older brother as he inspected his reflection in the bedroom mirror.
Saint John
"I didn't think you believed in ghosts, little brother," Saint John said with a grin as the two men went downstairs to greet some of their guests, who were already arriving.
String
"I didn't...I don't," String answered as honestly as he could. "But how else do I explain what happened that day?"
Saint John
"I don't know, String...but however you explain it, I'm glad it happened."
Dom
"Me too, Sinj! Me, too!" Dominic came over to the brothers, smiling broadly at String."I don't mind telling you, String, I was worried you'd never figure out how you felt about Cait. Heck, I didn't think you'd ever admit she was a girl, for Pete's sake!"
String
"Well, that might be going a little far, Dom," Hawke admitted. But not much, a voice whispered in the back of his mind, a voice which Hawke quickly endeavored to squash. "But I think I can safely say that I know, now, that Cait is all woman." Dominic grinned knowingly at his younger surrogate son.
Saint John
"Ohh – kay...that was 'need to know,' and I DIDN'T," Saint John said as all three men chuckled. "Seriously, though, little brother – I think I can safely say that Mom and Dad would be really proud of you today."
String
"I hope so, Saint John," Hawke admitted. "Although, I doubt they would have been very proud of the way I kept pushing Caitlin away all those months."
Saint John
"You might be right there, little brother...but let's not think about that now, all right? I admit I don't know Cait all that well, but I think I can safely say she won't be too thrilled if you're both blubbering today."
String
"No, I think you're right, Saint John," Hawke grinned as he and his brother walked outside the cabin, only to turn towards the back as he heard another chopper come in. He knew most of the guests had arrived already – Jason Giffords, or "Doc", as they called him, Nhi Houng and her husband, Sam Roper, along with their son Stringfellow, Nguyen Van Minh and his wife Mai, Bobby Phelps and his father, Robert, Megan Ravenson, along with Archangel and Marella, and Archangel's daughter, Katerina, who was serving as flower girl for the ceremony – so this chopper most likely carried the O'Shannessy's. Caitlin's sister, Erin, was going to be her maid of honor, and Saint John would be best man.
After the ceremony concluded and the guests had all departed, Mr. and Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke stood on the porch of the cabin, wrapped in each other's arms.
String
"Congratulations, Mrs. Hawke," String told his bride as they held each other underneath a full moon. "I don't think I've ever been happier...than I am right now."
Caitlin
That makes two of us, Hawke. She turned in his arms, and he could see tears in her blue-green eyes. "I know what you mean, Mr. Hawke. My dreams...my dreams all came true, thanks to you."
String
"I'll try to make all your dreams come true, Caitlin...from now, until the end of time," he confessed to her. "I figure it's the least I can do, after treating you the way I did for so long."
Caitlin
"Oh, Hawke...I understand. And, I forgive you for everything that happened in the past. I guess, if I'd lost my parents and two other men that I was involved with, along with a sister, I would have felt the same way. But," she looked up at him, a peculiar glint coming into her blue-green eyes, "that's all over now, and we're finally together...forever. But I caught myself thinking just now... 'what if this is all just a dream?' And...Ouch!" She suddenly reacted as Hawke pinched her arm.
Hawke
"It's not a dream, Cait...although, I have to admit, I've felt the same way you do a lot today, and I guess...Ouch!" Hawke felt Caitlin's pinch on his arm and squeezed her close to him again. "Okay, now that we've both convinced ourselves that we're not going to wake up alone, can we stop with the physical violence?"
Caitlin
"Sure, Hawke. On one condition..." She grinned up at him, a familiar impish grin that always sent Hawke's heart rate skyward.
Hawke
"Your wish is my command, my lady," Hawke returned a boyish grin of his own as he picked Caitlin up in his arms and carried her back into the cabin, making a beeline for the stairs. Once in the bedroom, they both knew there would be no further need – or ability – to speak, at least until morning.