"Hanzo, somebody kidnapped Dr. Angela Ziegler."
"Hm."
It was a fine day in the newly reformed Shimada household. Now living in the tiniest house they had ever lived in within Hanamura, Hanzo, "skeptical brother" extraordinaire and master archer, and Genji, "optimistic brother" extraordinaire and master ninja, both lived uneventful and calm lives.
Everything related to Overwatch always screwed them over, though. Overwatch meant business in the most erratic of ways.
"Hanzo, somebody kidnapped Dr. Angela Ziegler."
"Mm hm."
"Hanzo."
"Genji."
"Put the newspaper down for a second."
Sitting on a small tatami mat within the cramped living room, Hanzo looked up from the papers in his hands. A young grasshopper Genji was, Hanzo thought to himself as he flipped the papers.
"I am not reading mere newspapers," Hanzo seethed. Thrusting the papers forward to Genji's face, the archer roared, "I'm reading EROTICA! AND IT WON'T BE MY LAST-"
"Hanzo."
"Genji."
"Please tell me why you're so proud about that."
Hanzo sighed. "Only a Shimada can wield truth so easily-"
"There's a thing called 'white lies,' my brother."
"My dear younger brother... Shut up."
The dark-haired Shimada sat back down as he tossed the erotica aside, picking up actual newspapers as Genji scratched the back of his head. Dr. Ziegler was kidnapped by the terrorist group Talon, and Overwatch was going ape-crackers about it. His master, Zenyatta, approved of Genji not panicking immediately over her kidnapping, for there was always a solution to every problem.
The only problem was choosing the right solution.
While Genji simply did not panic over the situation, Hanzo actually did not give a flying dragon about it.
"Hanzo."
"Genji."
"Somebody kidnapped Dr. Angela Ziegler."
"I know."
"Hanzo."
"I know."
"Hanzo."
"Genji."
The cyber-ninja remained sitting in front of a small analog television as he played N*nja Ga*den.
"Somebody-"
"-kidnapped Dr. Angela Ziegler."
"Hanzo."
Rolling his eyes, Hanzo looked up from the newspapers and said as he stared at the ceiling,
"What."
"We must go save Dr. Ziegler."
"Oh, well spare me the... mercy... my dear younger brother."
Genji cringed so hard, his character in the game cringed with him.
"This is no time for games," said the cyber-ninja playing games.
Hanzo cringed so hard at the irony, his newspapers crumpled up by themselves.
"Why should we have to go save her, anyway?" Hanzo asked the ninja, who remained silent at his question for a good moment.
"I do not know," Genji said as he paused the game and turned to his older brother. "Maybe it has to do with the fact that she saved me after YOU MURDERED ME, BROTHER?"
An odd silence fell over the house. The two stared at each other, Hanzo's gaze being far more blank than usual. Knowing that the silence could not go on forever, the archer simply asked the ninja,
"So all I need is my bow, right?"
SUPER SHIMADA BROTHERS