disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, just Arabella and everything else you don't recognize. I also do not own the song "From the Ground Up" by Sleeping at Last (who you should all definitely check out!)
Hello, everyone! So, this is the AU in which Kassandra Anastas lives. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but I decided that it would be much easier to break it up into a couple chapters if I'm going to cover most of the books and so that it wouldn't be too long when you're reading it. Tell me what you all think and whether or not I should continue! Hope you like it!
From the Ground Up
One by one the knots we've tied will come undone
Like picking locks, we'll sow our seeds beneath the sun
Our accomplice is the rain,
With patience, that of saints
It grows and grows,
Our home sweet home
"Please, I promise you, I don't know anything about Voldemort –"
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK HIS NAME! YOU FILTHY HALF-BLOOD! Your spawn is not even worthy of the Black name! You are a disgrace! You and your filth of a daughter! How dare you!"
Bellatrix screeched at her, her face becoming red with each word. Bellatrix slapped her once again. Rodolphus came to Bellatrix's side and put his arm around her shoulders, as though comforting her.
"One last chance, Anastas," he said in a low and dangerous voice, "where is the Dark Lord?"
"I don't know," breathed Kassandra, tears in her eyes. Her daughter deserved better than this. "There haven't been signs of him anywhere. I promise you, I am telling you the truth. Please…"
"Enough of this," Rabastan said roughly. "We're getting nowhere. Let us leave. She is useless."
"Not yet," said Bellatrix. She looked down at Arabella and pointed her and towards her. She made sure Kassandra was watching her. Her eyes widened.
"Please, I told you everything I knew," cried Kassandra. "Please. She's all I have left."
Bellatrix looked down at Arabella and then pointed her wand towards her, and Kassandra wasn't as afraid as she thought she would be.
"Watch this, poppet," whispered Bellatrix, her teeth shining under the lightbulb. "AVA –"
Suddenly the doors to the house burst open. There was a flash of white light blinding everyone in the room. Kassandra heard Arabella cry out as people ran into the living room, shouting and yelling, but none louder than Alastor Moody's.
"Drop your wands now!" he roared.
His eye swirled around the room, from the scarred child and her pool of blood to the four Death Eaters staring back at him, determined, ready to fight.
"I said drop them!" he bellowed.
Slowly, all four Death Eaters dropped their wand to the floor. They stared at Moody with hatred in his face.
Finally, he found her. One of his best lieutenants in the world, tied to a chair, sweat and blood covered her face and her eyes in a dazed. She was tortured, and beaten. Her nose was broken and her skin red. She wanted it all to end and it somehow still didn't feel like it. It didn't feel like anything ended. She felt small and ruined.
The Aurors shackled the Death Eaters and Moody said, "You four are under arrest for the torture of insanity of Frank and Alice Longbottom, and the torture of Kassandra Anastas and Arabella Black."
"He will rise again!" screeched Bellatrix. "You wait and see! We are his most loyal servants! We will be welcomed with open arms by the Dark Lord! You wait and see!"
"Take the vermin away," snapped Moody. "I don't want to see their filthy faces."
They all marched out of the house, the Death Eaters and the Aurors. Kassandra vaguely heard him say something to another Auror, but couldn't hear him properly. He then crouched in front of her, gently moving the hair from her face. It was then Kassandra realized how heavy she was breathing, how her skin looked wrinkled against the ropes and how her chest was falling up and down rapidly.
"Anastas," said Moody. "Anastas, can you hear me? Just stay with me, all right? We'll get you to St. Mungo's soon, I promise. Everything is going to be fine."
Kassandra wanted to laugh at his face. He shouldn't have made a promise like that. It wasn't like him to say something so hollow and untrue. Of all the people in her life, she trusted him to tell it like it was. He never held anything back. But today was different. He must have thought of her father.
She was then free from the ropes. She crashed to the floor with a thud as Moody went to Arabella. She didn't hear what either one of them said. Her mind was racing and pounding. Not bounded to the chair anymore, Kassandra felt like she couldn't breathe anymore. Her whole body was shaking and her breath coming out unsteadily. She wanted so many things right now. She wanted her daughter in her arms, safe and sound, and she wanted her mother to comfort her and her father to kiss her forehead. She wanted Sirius. She wanted Sirius. She wanted Sirius. She needed Sirius.
"Sirius," she said softly.
And then he was standing over her. Kassandra blinked her eyes a couple times, but they were blurry. She knew it was him. She just knew it. She reached out and slowly touched his face, letting her fingertips gently stroke his cheek.
"Sirius," she whispered his name again. "Sirius… I need you to come home… Please… I need you to come back to me… They tortured our baby, Sirius… They hurt her… They hurt my baby…"
He lifted her into his arms, just like he did all those years ago. He was warm and gentle. She felt so safe with him, her husband. Tears began streaming down her and her breath became worse. She failed their daughter. She didn't protect her. She failed her daughter, just like she failed her sister.
"I'm so sorry, Ma," whispered Kassandra, choking up. "I'm… I'm so sorry, Ma… I should have been watching her… She was my sister too, Dad… I love her… I love her…"
Green flames engulfed around her as Sirius took her far away.
Remus sat outside the room at St. Mungo's, waiting for someone to come out and just update him. He looked at his watch once again. It was three in the morning. He's been there for five hours and he was getting agitated and impatience for any news. Arabella kept asking for her mother, who was god-knows-where asking for Sirius and her parents. Kassandra called for Arabella Torell, saying that it was her fault, that she should have been watching her. Remus clenched his fists. It's been years and he still can't hear her name without his body tensing and burning up. It should have been him that kept her safe. It was too late for her, but not too late for Kassandra or Arabella Black.
His heart was beating wilding against his ribcage and the need to scream was growing ever more so than before. He didn't like this, being alone with his thoughts and not knowing how either one of them were doing.
He then heard footsteps and a clunking noise coming his way. Looking up, he saw Dumbledore and Mad-Eye walking towards him.
"How is she?" asked Dumbledore, reaching him first.
"The last time I was updated, the Healers told me they were trying to heal her cuts. There might be some permanent scars and they will need to evaluate her after this, check for any emotional and mental damage, but the cuts… they were deep." Remus took a deep breath to steady himself. "She kept crying when they took her from me. I tried to calm her down but… nothing worked. They made me leave the room to that they could check her properly. I… I don't know what else to do Professor… How's Kassandra?"
His voice started to crack and Dumbledore placed his hand on Remus's shoulder reassuringly.
"She's hysterically, Remus," said Dumbledore. "They say there's still hope for her sanity, but it's going to be a long recovery. She's been through a lot, they're trying their best to ensure she doesn't turn out like the Longbottoms. There's no hope for them. She has also been asking for Sirius."
Remus growled at the name. Of all the people in the world, Sirius Black should be far away from her mind. He did nothing but betray his friends and family. He deserved to rot in Azkaban.
"Everything will work out itself, Remus," said Dumbledore. "They are both safe now and those who did this to them are contained and guarded, awaiting trial."
"Hopefully put away for life," added Mad-Eye, scowling.
Remus nodded and then said, "Arabella will stay with me until Kassandra is healed. I'll – I'll take care of her"
"Are you sure, Remus?" Dumbledore asked him. "We can arrange other alternatives, if you wish –"
"No," said Remus, shaking his head. "No, she's my goddaughter. I'm her godfather. I'll take care of her," he said more firmly.
"Very well," said Dumbledore, nodding. "I will make sure Andromeda knows and I will come by to check on Kassandra tomorrow. If you need me, Remus, please do contact me."
And with that, Albus Dumbledore swept away. Remus and Mad-Eye watched as the man disappeared from their sights.
"I will go sit with Anastas," said Mad-Eye. "Come find me if anything changes with the girl."
He clapped Remus on his shoulder before leaving. The door then opened and the Healer allowed him inside.
There was still hope for her. That's what they kept telling Remus. There was still hope for her. None left for Frank and Alice. They were completely gone, their minds destroyed by the hands of Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, and Barty Crouch Jr. They completely and utterly destroyed them. Remus had tried to go see them, try to comfort them, but it was useless. They laid still on the hospital bed. There was no smile or laugh or light in their eyes. They might as well have been dead at this point. There was no hope for them.
He had waited patiently for months, weathering the storm that was Arabella Black. She woke up every night with terrible dreams of red light jetting out towards her, blood everywhere and a voice taunting her. He had contemplated giving her a potion for dreamless sleep, but she was too young to be taking such a strong potion. Then there were the mornings where she could hardly get out of her bed to go back to St. Mungo's. She needed her bandages changed every day and he didn't have the heart to do it just yet. Her scars bled out easily and he had to constantly leave the room to contain himself.
Remus finally got the chance to see Kassandra. He waited in a large, dull beige room with three metal tables. He looked around to see an elder Healer in the corner, writing in some sort of record book. The scratching of quill against parchment was the only sound in the room. There were no visible clocks or any other visitor. It was unnerving. He wondered if that was all Kassandra saw as well.
Then the doors to the room opened and a Healer escorted Kassandra in. Remus stood up immediately and took in the sight. She lost a lot of weight. Her cheeks were hollow and her once thick brown hair was oily and thinning. Her bright brown eyes were now dull and empty. He wished he could get his hands on the Death Eaters that did this to her. Kassandra Anastas did not deserve this.
She sat down across from Remus and gave him a feebly smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"How are you?" Remus asked quickly.
"Fine," she said quietly. "Healers said I'm getting better. Stopped shaking a while ago. Stopped talking to myself as well. How is she?"
"She's… she's getting there," said Remus. "Her nightmare are still there, but she's stopped yelling at me and the Tonks. Andromeda looks a little like Bellatrix. It took us a while to convince her that Bellatrix was never going to see her again."
Kassandra nodded and said, "What about the case?"
Remus winced at the mention. He sighed and said, "Walburga is still trying to get the date moved forward, but it's still set in two months' time. Narcissa Malfoy and her husband are now in the mix. They're both stating that you're an unfit parent."
"Arabella is the only thing that's keeping me sane in here," whispered Kassandra. There was a small spark in her eyes, a spark of her old self. "Two months' time, right?"
"Yes."
"I can do that."
Remus smiled.
Remus's head was pounding. He was sure he was going to have a brain hemorrhage or something once this day was over. Lucius Malfoy kept drawling on and on. He knew how to talk.
"… A child like Miss Black should be with a caring and loving family that can provide for her financially and emotionally. My lovely wife, Narcissa, can give Miss Black as much love and warmth as she does with my son, Draco. Not only will Miss Black have a stable mother and father, she will have a brother that is her age. They will grow up loving and protecting each other. They will go to school together and be in the same house, protecting and looking out for each other again." He looked around the atrium and continued, "Do we all truly believe that Kassandra Anastas could provide that for Miss Black? They were both tortured in the supposed safety of her own home –"
"By your own family!" snapped Remus.
Lucius Malfoy rounded off on him before Dumbledore took up and said, "Enough!"
Everyone looked at him. His back was straight, his nose flared, eyes burning with cold fury – there stood the man Voldemort was afraid of. There was the living proof for all of them to see.
Remus was getting tired of listening to Malfoy go on and on. He was sick with the whole lot of them – him, his wife, and Walburga Black. He glanced over at Andromeda. She looked as though she would be perfectly fine with wringing his neck in front of the whole Ministry of Magic.
In the center of the room stood a single high chair with a very frightful, young child. Arabella hugged her knees to her chest, staring up at everyone with wide and scared eyes. Remus insisted on not bring her. He didn't want her to experience this as well. She's already been through enough in the span of six months. But they threatened him with imprisonment if he didn't present Arabella in front of them. They wanted her served up to them like an animal for slaughter. They were cold, heartless bastards, all of them.
Then the doors opened and everyone turned towards it. Alastor Moody walked in supporting a very weak looking Kassandra. She was clutching onto his arm as though he was the only reason why she was standing. There were dark circles around her eyes and she looked very faint. Dumbledore walked around his seat and conjured up another chair next to Arabella's. He helped her into it and she gave him a smile of gratitude.
Kassandra looked as though she had just made the walk of her life. She looked around the courtroom. Arabella was staring at her in wonderment. Walburga Black's eyes widened at this sudden turn, while Lucius Malfoy froze and Narcissa looked defeated. There was a small smile on Kassandra's face and Remus knew that smile very well. His old friend had something up her sleeves.
"Well," she began, "I believe this is what you call, 'just in the nick of time'."
"Ms. Anastas," said Minister Fudge, peering down at her in shock, "what on earth are you doing here?"
Kassandra raised her eyebrows and said, "Well, fighting for my daughter, of course, Minister. Did you really think I wasn't going to fight for my own flesh and blood? Did you think I was just going to lie in the hospital bed for years in defeat? I carried her, Minister, I carried her for months and held her when the Healers proclaimed that she was a girl. I was the first one to hold her. And I held her when she laughed and when she cried. I am a mother first and foremost, and I will do anything in my power to make sure that she stays with me. Sir."
"That was not what I meant, Anastas," said Fudge, offended and irritated.
"Yes, well, I believe you should throw this case away, sir," said Kassandra dismissively as she smiled coyly.
There was a small smile blooming on Remus's face. There was the old Kassandra right there. The one he sorely missed.
"There is no point to this whatsoever," Kassandra continued. "No point at all. We are wasting a lot of precious time considering you still haven't put those Death Eaters who hurt my child to trial yet, and I would like to be present for you, if you don't mind. I'd like to see Bellatrix's face one last time before she's locked up in Azkaban for good." She then looked towards Walburga Black and the Malfoys'. She threw them a dirty look before pulling out a scroll of parchment from her pocket. "I have this as well. It's from Healer Den."
One of the Junior Assistants got the scroll from Kassandra and passed it over to Fudge. He read it and then gave it to Amelia Bones.
"She's right, Cornelius," said Madam Bones. "Auror Anastas is clearly alive and sane in the matter. She is of no harm to herself or her daughter, as stated by Healer Den. There is no point in figuring out where Miss Black shall live. Her mother is a very suitable option."
"We'll take it to a vote," said Fudge. "I will now ask the jury to raise their hands if they believe that Arabella Black should be in the custody of the Malfoys."
Remus counted. Five people raised their hands, two trembling under Lucius's glare, while another shot their hand straight up with a smug look.
"And if you believe that Arabella Black should remain with her mother, Kassandra Anastas."
Everyone else raised their hand confidently. In the middle of the atrium, Arabella raised her hand.
"I hereby close this case for good. Arabella Black will remain in Kassandra's custody. You may all leave now."
Walburga Black was not pleased and had no problem making sure everybody heard her. The Malfoys left the room quickly, embarrassed, while someone called for Aurors to escort Walburga away. Remus was happy to never see that woman again.
He got out of his seat quickly, trying to get past the stream of people making their way out of the atrium. Once the crowd had left and Remus was out the doors, he came face-to-face with the image of Kassandra kneeling on the floor, holding Arabella very tightly and kissing her cheek. She looked up at him and Andromeda, giving them grateful smiles. She stood up and carried Arabella in her arms.
"Anyone up for a burger?"
There was a small diner a few blocks from the entrance to the Ministry of Magic. It was run by a very large and charming family, who advertised that they made the best burgers in town. Remus sat down beside Andromeda, across from Kassandra and Arabella, marveling in the sight. Of all six plates, he only had one to claim. The same could be said for Andromeda and Arabella.
Kassandra ordered a large plate of fries, a double cheeseburger with bacon, chicken breast sandwich, and a chocolate milkshake. She was chowing down everything with ketchup on her cheeks and mustard on her fingers. There was a small smile on her face. She was free from St. Mungo's.
Kassandra sat beside Andromeda, whose eyes were emotionless and fixed on the chair in the middle of the room. There was total silence in the dungeon, broken only by the dry sobs of Crouch's wife. Kassandra inhaled sharply, letting her shoulders relax. She has been waiting for this day for weeks. A few tears from the grieving mother will not change her will.
She then braced herself when Crouch said, "Bring them in."
The door to the dungeon opened. Six dementors entered, bringing in four people.
Bellatrix Lestrange was chained to the chair, sitting upon it as though it was some sort of throne. She was proud of what she's accomplished. Tearing apart families for her own pleasure. Frank and Alice's son will never know how brilliant his parents were because of her. The men were chained to the floor. Rodolphus Lestrange looked up blankly at Crouch as his brother, Rabastan, was looking around the room, his eyes darting everywhere. He looked at Kassandra briefly before staring at the ground. Barty Crouch Jr. was absolutely petrified.
Crouch Sr. then stood up and looked down at the four Death Eaters with pure hatred. He then spoke loudly with a clear voice, "You have been brought here before the Council of Magical Law so that we may pass judgement on you, for a crime so heinous –"
"Father," said Crouch Jr. "Father… please…"
" – that we have rarely heard the likes of it within this court," Crouch Sr. continued on more loudly. "We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing Auror Frank Longbottom, subjecting him and his wife, Alice Longbottom, to the Cruciatus Curse when they would not give you information on the whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named –"
"Father, I didn't!" shrieked Crouch Jr., his chains shaking. "I didn't, I swear it! Father, don't send me back to the dementors –"
"You are further accused," bellowed Crouch Sr., "of using the Cruciatus Curse on Auror Kassandra Anastas when she as well did not give up any information, as well as her daughter, Arabella Black, using the Cruciatus Curse and a knife to further torture the girl in front of her mother. You planned to restore He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to power, and to resume the life of violence you presumably led while he was strong. I ask the jury –"
"Mother!" screamed Crouch Jr. as she began to sob beside her husband, rocking back and forth. "Mother, stop him. Mother, I didn't do it, it wasn't me!"
"I now ask the jury," shouted Crouch Sr., "to raise their hands if they believe, as I do, that these crimes deserve a life sentence in Azkaban!"
Together, the witches and wizards along the right side of the dungeon raised their hands. The crowd around the walls began to clap as Crouch Jr. screamed.
"No! Mother, no! I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't know! Don't send me there, don't let him!"
The dementors were back in the room. Bellatrix got up from her throne quietly. She looked around the room with a haughty expression and when her eyes found Kassandra's, she smirked and blew a kiss.
"The Dark Lord will rise again, Anastas!" She then looked towards Crouch and said, "Throw us in Azkaban! We will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!"
Crouch Jr. tried to fight off the dementors, even though they were draining his energy. The crowd was jeering, some on their feet, as Bellatrix was swept out of the dungeon. Crouch Jr. continued to struggle.
"I am your son!" he screamed at his father. "I am your son!"
"You are no son of mine!" roared Crouch Sr., his eyes bulging suddenly. "I have no son!"
His wife beside him gave a great gasp and slumped in her seat. Crouch Sr. appeared not to have noticed his wife had just fainted.
"Take them away! Take them away, and may they rot there!"
"Father! Father, I wasn't involved! No! No! Father, please!"
Remus knew where he was going as he entered the cemetery. It was like following an old routine of sorts. He had visited her tombstones many times when it first happened, but after a while, he could no longer do so. It was unhealthy and it only brought him pain. In a few short minutes, he found Kassandra, worm out with a flask in one hand and playing with her wedding ring in the others. She was sitting on top of Hekabe's tombstone, right in between Isaak's and Arabella's. Her legs stretched out enough for her to touch them with her toes.
Remus sighed and looked at Arabella's name. For the first time in years, he felt oddly at peace. He couldn't bring her back, but he could remember her fondly for the woman that she was and the woman who once stole his steal heart.
He then looked at Kassandra and said, "How bad was it?"
"What makes you think it was bad?" asked Kassandra, taking a sip of her drink.
"You've barely touched alcohol since Sirius went to Azkaban," said Remus. "It must be bad."
Kassandra contemplated him for a moment and then said, "You know me too well, Remus, and it sucks because I can't keep any secrets to myself. You'll find out sooner or later."
Remus gave her a lopsided smile and said, "How did it go?"
Kassandra clenched her jaw and then said, "I didn't want them arrested or processed through the Ministry. I wanted all of them dead. I wanted them to die slowly and painfully. I wanted them to feel the pain my baby felt. I wanted them to bleed out and scream and cry just like… just like she did. They don't deserve to live after what they did."
Remus winced and nodded. "That's… that's a natural reaction. You need revenge for what they did and they're in Azkaban for life, Kassandra."
"But Arabella," she whispered. Her voice began to crack. "She keeps having nightmares, Remus. She keeps waking up and screaming and her cuts… oh, her cuts… they just…"
"Keep opening," finished Remus.
"I don't know what to do anymore. Everything's just how it used to be. This was supposed to be a time of peace and happiness. Then – then this happens. I saw then, you know. Frank and Alice. I saw them just before I left St. Mungo's. What happened to them, that's not right. They were practically gone, Remus. They will never be able to recover and… their son, he will never know how great his parents are Remus. Those – those monsters took that away. They don't deserve sympathy or pity or anything of the sorts. They deserve to die. They all deserve to rot six feet under." She let out a small sob and said, "I don't know what to do anymore, Remus…"
Remus pulled Kassandra to her feet, though a little wobbly. She looked at him, shocked at his sudden movement.
"Fix it," he said simply. "You can do it, I know you can. You work for Mad-Eye Moody, of all people. When things get tough, you fix it. He's offered you your old job back and you still haven't replied. Take it, Kassandra, and fix everything. You're an Auror. Start acting like one."
Kassandra moves them out of the house and into another on the other side of Godric's Hollow. She wanted to stay in the same village her father did. It was her home and she will not be driven out of it. She will no longer be scared because of those Death Eaters. The house was bigger and she knew they could make it a home eventually.
Remus stayed with them for a couple months. The guest room became his own, though in the mornings, Kassandra and Arabella would suddenly appear by his sides. They slept better with him in the room than in their own. Kassandra wakes up with sweat on her face and Arabella cried everything Bellatrix appeared in her dreams. Remus was their safe heaven against themselves.
Kassandra never threw away her wedding ring. She didn't have the heart to. She twirls it around her fingers in times of distress. She wonders what would have happened if Sirius didn't go to Azkaban, if he didn't betray Lily and James. She wonders what it would be like if he was right there with her, helping her, supporting her and Arabella. Would he have been a doting father and husband, or was he always destined to be shipped off to Azkaban?
She tried not to think of such things. She tires her best not to think about it and focus on what's happening around her. She didn't need to have fantasies because her daughter needed her. She needed to be strong for her.
She can't sleep at night sometimes. She sits by the window in her bedroom and waits, looking out. Some nights are terrible, especially when Arabella wakes up screaming that Bellatrix was coming to get her.
But other nights are quiet. Those were the worst because Kassandra still waits for the disaster to break into her house and destroy everything again. She waits for someone to break down the door and attack them again. She constantly waits for someone to take Arabella or Remus away. Or for someone to tell her that Bellatrix Lestrange has done the inevitable and broke out of Azkaban, on the run to finish what she had started.
Nothing happens after a while, but she can't breathe properly because she let her guard down once and she can't let it happen again. She jumps when she hears a small crack or a squeak.
Remus was the only one that could calm her down. She curls up on his side and clutches his shirt, taking in the smell of the woods. This gives her comfort and she breaths easily around him.
"You have to get up," said Remus, looking down at her and gently stroking her hair.
"Not yet," mumbled Kassandra, burying her face closer into his sides. "Five more minutes."
"It's your first day back at work," Remus said gently.
"I don't want to get up, Moony."
She then moved her face closer to his neck, the tip of her nose grazing the base. He closed his eyes for a moment. It's been a while since a woman was this close to him. They were alone in the room and her body was pressed up against his and he reacted. He had never thought of Kassandra in such a way, but she was warm and soft. He turned to lay on his hip with both hands around her waist. She stared at him for a moment and moved closer. He could feel her breath on his chin. It was coming out unsteady as she reached out and gently stroked his cheek. He then moved closer towards her, pressing his lips against hers.
It wasn't earthshattering or monumental. It didn't take his breath away or make him want to shout from the rooftops. But it did make his ears warm up and his insides clench. His lips were cracked and hers were dry, but it make his heart beat a little faster.
He then pulled away, their lips inches away from each other. "We can't."
Kassandra looked up at him, her pupils dilated. She whispered, "We can," and kissed him again more forcefully. Her body was pressed up against his and her hands were on his jaws.
Remus reciprocated. He slowly moved on top of her, one hand tangled in her hair and the other on her hip. His body was shaking slightly as a low moan came from her. She then gasped in his mouth as he moved his hand inside her shirt, gently feeling her hip and how smooth her skin was. For a moment, this seemed almost right.
"Ma! MA!"
They broke the kiss instantly. Remus quickly withdrew himself from her and sat up. He couldn't believe he almost lost control like that. It wasn't like him to just… she was his last friend, he couldn't. Kassandra sat up, her cheeks crimson and her fingers in her hair.
"I'll go get her some breakfast," she said quietly. She didn't look back at him as she walked out the door.
She hated herself for missing Sirius. But she missed him in a way she hasn't for in a long time. She tries her best not to think about him, about all the horrible things he has done. But when she looks at Arabella, she can't help it. She pushes her food around in her plate with a frown on her face that is reminiscent of her father. They are practically one in the same. They have the same eyes, the same frown, and the same need for space whenever disaster strikes.
Then there are times when Arabella is messy and mischievous and tries to hide when it's time to take a bath. And when she laughs, Kassandra always looks over her shoulder to make sure it wasn't Sirius because, my god, they have the same laugh and their eyes twinkle the same. Kassandra aches for her old life when Arabella stares up at her with Sirius's bright eyes.
But things happen for a reason. They happened the way they were supposed to, or so Remus tells her.
"You are much stronger because of what happened. You are stronger for yourself and for Arabella. Your love has strengthened. You saved yourself and your daughter. Everything happened for a reason. I don't know why, but it did. Your love and your will has strengthened. Know that you are a good person, who would protect your daughter with your life. You would fight through anything to save the one person you truly love. You are not broken by what has happened. You are pure steel. I hope you know that."
She clings onto his words and it makes things easier. Especially that kiss.
Something changes between them. Remus lives with them now. He can never seem to part with them for more than a few short hours and Arabella constantly wonders where he is. He worries about them all the time, and after a while, it was just easier for him to move in. When he made the guest room his own, it felt right.
He becomes calmer around them. He doesn't wants to lose either one of them. He's afraid of something happening to them and that they would be gone from his life permanently. They are the only family he has left.
So when Kassandra comes back all proud and happy after closing her first case since the incident, he knows things are very different now. There was no turning back, and he would never dream of doing such a thing. He places his hands on her cheek and waits for her to move away. She doesn't. She stares up at him expectantly and drops her files on the floor. He kissed her and she wraps her arms around his neck. The moment felt so right.
It doesn't take long for things to become physical between them. He already knows everything about her and she knows all the details of his life. He knows what makes her tick, what makes her cry, and what brightens her day. She, in turn, knows what to do after a full moon and what he likes to read and what makes him roll around the floor laughing.
Remus is the sort of man that a girl takes home to meet their parents. Kassandra almost laughs because that's exactly what happened. She was the one who brought him over to meet her mother and stepfather. She was the first one to bring him over, not her sister. He was her first friend. He was her best friend. He's kind and gentle and she loves him so much.
Kassandra knows that she loves him. She loves him when he wakes up first and makes her coffee just the way she likes it (two teaspoons of sugar and just a little bit of milk). She loves him when he sits down and listens to Arabella's nightmares (the reoccurring ones and the new ones that pop up). She loves him when he smiles as Arabella redirects all her anger and pain towards Quidditch and picks a team that neither one of them likes (she's a diehard Harpie while he will always be devotes to the Bats). She will always love him during the full moons when all she wants to do is go to him and take all the pain and suffering away. She will love him after a full moon when she tends to his injuries.
She especially loves him when he knows just what to do to make her moan. Or when he touches her in all the right places and her body tingles all over. She even loves him when he whispers her name in her ear, and just how low and deep his voice gets. It's music and beauty to her.
She still loves him after finding out she's pregnant and he disappears for days. She loves him even when she wishes the baby was Sirius's. But it's not. This baby will always be Remus's and she loves him for that, but she couldn't imagine having a baby with Sirius's grey eyes or shining black hair.
In her dreams, Sirius is always with her because, as much as she loves Remus, Kassandra is still in love with Sirius Black and that is never going to change. There's a part of her that wishes she could hate Sirius as much as the rest of the wizarding world, but she never could.
"So, I'm getting a sister?" Arabella asked. Her face was scrunched up in confusion.
"Or a brother," Kassandra said gently. "I don't know yet."
Arabella nodded, still confused. "Are you and Moony getting married?"
"No, we're not," said Kassandra, shaking her head. She can't imagine being married to anybody else besides Sirius Black.
"Where is Moony?"
"I don't know. I don't know where he is, but I'm sure he'll be back soon."
"Oh, okay," said Arabella, frowning. After a few minutes, she smiled and said, "I hope it's a girl."
Kassandra chuckled and said, "Yeah?"
"Yeah," said Arabella, nodding her head keenly. "Girls are more fun."
"Yes, they are," agreed Kassandra.
She doesn't know if he's ever coming back. She would like him to be there for her and the new baby, but she knows that she'll be fine without him.
"Sit down, Lupin," said Mad-Eye Moody, kicking a chair towards him.
Remus sat down quietly, shaking a little and wondering what to do next.
"What's the problem?" asked Mad-Eye.
Mad-Eye Moody was the last person he would ever go to with a problem like this. But he was desperate to talk to someone. He needed to know what to do. Stay or leave. Fight or flight.
"I – I never should have been with her," Remus said in a hushed tone. "It was – it was a mistake and I've regretted it ever since. I don't – I don't know what to do now. The baby will be exactly like me, I'm sure if it. How – how can I live when I know I have – I have passed on my condition to an innocent child? I never – I never should have persuaded this – this relationship! I have made her an outcast!"
Mad-Eye's lips curled. Remus knew he was disgusted with him.
"She's already an outcast, Lupin," Mad-Eye growled lowly. "No one wants to work with her in our department. They call her a ticking time bomb waiting to explode at any second. They call her daughter a freak and they call your relationship an abomination. If you leave her, you're only proving them right. Go back to her and apologize for the way you've been acting. Go back on your hands and knees and apologize. Beg for forgiveness and a second chance because, believe me, you need them as much as they need you. They keep you in check as much as you do for them. And if you ever think of leaving her in that condition, remember that I promised her father that I would look out of her and the kid. If you hurt either one of them, I will destroy you, Lupin."
Arabella was bouncing up and down on the couch. She was beyond ecstatic at the news. Kassandra watched her fondly as she rubbed her already protruding belly. Arabella was so happy that it was a girl, but Kassandra was happy to hear that she was beating the odds. She was already fighting.
The Healers told her that, given her history, the baby shouldn't have lasted the first month. But here she is, belly swollen and still standing. They told her that Remus's genes were the ones keeping her alive. Those genes were fighting against her broken body. It was fighting for her to survive. She was fighting to be brought into this world. And all Kassandra wanted to do was telling the father that his daughter was fighting.
He doesn't deserve a family. The wizarding world has confirmed that in his mind. The way people sneer at him and jeer at him proves that his child will never be welcomed. He's not worth the trouble. He's know he's not. The thought of passing his genes onto an innocent baby is cruel.
But then he talks to Dumbledore and he makes up his mind.
"You are a man in integrity and honour, Remus," said Dumbledore. "You are compassionate, intelligent, brave, and kind. You see the good in people and you have a sense of humour, just like James. You are perceptive and protective, if not, you wouldn't have taken in Arabella when Kassandra was at St. Mungo's. What child wouldn't want to call you their father?"
Dumbledore paused as Remus blinked at him. The surrounding portraits weren't pretending to sleep anymore. Then Dumbledore continued on.
"Would you ever forgive yourself if you left all of them? Could you live with yourself like that, Remus? Because I don't think you can. I think you need them more than you let on. You can't survive without them."
Remus stumbles back into the house in the dead of the night. It's been weeks since he found out the news, weeks since he's talked to Mad-Eye and Dumbledore. He considered their words and he knows what to do: he has to be there. He can't leave them, either one of them. He can't leave Arabella or Kassandra or the baby. He can't just run off like that. As much as he doesn't want the baby to grow up with a father like him, he can't just disappear. He swallows what's left of his pride and enters the house.
Kassandra's already sitting at the kitchen table. Her head is bent over various books and files with so many papers spread out everywhere. One hand's on her round belly as she scanned the pages very quickly. The moment he enters, she looks up and watches him for a moment.
"Hey," she says quietly.
"Hello."
Remus takes a seat next to her and silence falls between them. He doesn't know how to say it. He doesn't know how to express his sorrow or his guilt. He just wants to take it all back. But then Kassandra searches through her stack of folders, takes one out, and reaches out towards him.
"Take it," she whispers. "You'll want to see it."
Remus bites his lips for a moment, and then takes it. When he opens the file, a small photograph falls out onto his lap. He picks up the black and white picture, and he doesn't really see it. But he looks at the paper and it's there. The thing he had been dreading was laid out in front of him.
GENDER: FEMALE, ONE
STATUS: ALIVE, HUMAN
"So…" began Remus, his voice dry. "So, it's fine? It's not a…"
"It's not a werewolf, Remus," Kassandra said gently. "I know you're worried about passing your condition to a child. Moody told me. I know you're terrified about that, but… that part of your gene is keeping the baby alive. They told me that with my body and your genes, it's fighting because of you. You're giving the baby hope, Remus."
"Hope," whispered Remus, into the night. "Hope…"
Kassandra then cleared her throat and said, "But I do think we have to talk about this relationship. I do love you, Remus, you know I do, but I –"
"You're not in love with me," said Remus, cutting her off. "I know. I love you, Kas, but I don't think we should continue this. I don't love you that way."
Kassandra looked relieved.
Months go by and they return back to their old routine. Arabella is happy to see Remus back in the house and won't stop talking about the new baby and all the things they are going to do together. Remus has to remind her constantly that it will be a while until the baby can walk, but Arabella ignores that.
Kassandra imagines all the things she and her sister did as children. Play at the park, throw dirt at each other, bake cookies with Hekabe… These are the memories that keep her sane when she goes into labour the morning of a rainy day.
Despite grey skies, St. Mungo's was brightened. Her daughter practically slips out without any problem or complication. When she hear the small scream, she slumps against the chair. When the Healer places the baby in her arms, Kassandra tries to remember the last time she ever felt this happy. Bellatrix Lestrange almost destroyed her, but her new daughter looks up at her with light green eyes and, somehow, it makes everything better. It's incredible how, just by one look, babies can heal a broken heart.
"What's her name, Ma?" Arabella asks.
Four years old and Arabella still has nightmares. She still hasn't gotten over the horrors of her life, but she is just like her mother. She pushes forward the only way a four year old could. She throws herself into other things, like her mother, and pretends that her problems don't exists, like her mother. Remus doesn't approve of it. He thinks it's unhealthy, but he doesn't have the heart to sit her down and lay everything out in the open.
"Well, Remus, what is her name?" Kassandra asks, looking up at him.
She is fortunate enough to have a child with her best friend. He is a good person and he will be a good father, he already has enough practice with Arabella. She may not be in love with him, but she is lucky to have him in her life.
Remus smiles at her and gently lays his hand on Arabella's shoulder. But he only has eyes for his daughter.
"Hope," he says simply. "Hope Korina Lupin sounds nice, doesn't it?"
Hope Korina, a promise to the future and a promise for brighter days. A promise of laughs and smiles, and strength and stability. Kassandra's daughter is a promise to her that things are going to get better.
Arabella is ever the doting sister. She stands on her tip-toes, looking over the crib and whispering to Hope all the thing they will do once she gets bigger. She has so many plans for the two of them, and she showers her with kisses and holds her hand when she begins to walk.
Remus is hesitant, just like he always is. He's scared to hold her at first, fearing that he will break her. But once he gets the hang of it, he never lets go. He carries Hope everywhere, showing her off to strangers that smile at a new father's proudness.
Kassandra loves Hope with all her heart. She never thought she could love anything as much as she loves her children. They give her a new found sense of happiness she never thought she would ever feel again.
But… there are so many days when she looks out into the gardens and sees Arabella chasing a wobbly-legged Hope. Their high-pitched laughs reach her ears and there is a small, sharp pain in Kassandra's hear. Arabella and Hope remind her so much of herself and her sister. Their looks are exactly like hers and her sister, save for their eyes.
She sometimes wonders of Arabella and Hope are Kassandra and Arabella reborn. Each born from different fathers, but the same mother. Arabella reminded her so much of herself, while Hope is exactly like her sister, ecstatically happy and oblivious to the world.
It worries her because she thinks she has become Hekabe and that they're all destined to make the same mistakes as they did in the past. She doesn't want Arabella to turn out like her, hating the world, and pursuing revenge. She doesn't want Hope to turn out like her sweet sister, dead before her time. And she doesn't want to turn into her mother. For all the love she has for Hekabe, she doesn't want to make the same mistakes, because if she does, Kassandra's sure her girls will follow in her footsteps.
Kassandra tries dating, though they that doesn't last very long. The men are very nice, but Remus is uncharacteristically snappish, Hope runs them out by trying to act as though the devil possess her, and Arabella smirks in the corner, satisfied by her handy work. Kassandra knows to blame Arabella for their behaviour.
But she still wears her wedding ring around her neck in a silver chain. It's always tucked in her shirt, only for her to see.
She's married. Her husband is in jail. She has a complicated relationship with her best friend. They share a child and she's not ready. She has no idea when she's going to be ready. So she breaks off every date and goes on being a mother because that's the most important role and relationship she has right now.
She doesn't have time for romance. Her days are filled with work and her daughters. Arabella is part of the local junior Quidditch league and Hope is slowly following her footsteps. Kassandra bakes cookies for the team and Remus buys extra orange juice for everyone. She makes sure Arabella is getting along with her teammates and makes sure Hope isn't too attached to the rabbit she found in their backyard because they can't afford another mouth to feed.
Work is filled with bring justice and she can't stop, even when Scott Briansk wants to take her out for some coffee or when Shane Showiest asks her out for some dinner. She works closely with Kingsley Shacklebolt and she tries her best to just focus on her work because sometimes, just sometimes, the loneliness is excruciating and all she had to hug in her extra pillow.
Arabella gets into a fight with someone on the team, despite Kassandra's best efforts. Beatrice has the audacity to hit her daughter and Arabella hit back, to Kassandra's horror. They both end up with black eyes and Beatrice looks worse off than Arabella. That's the day Kassandra learns her daughter will fight back no matter what.
"Control your daughter," Beatrice's mother hisses towards Kassandra, trying to shield Beatrice from Arabella.
Arabella gives Beatrice a dark look and the young girl hides behind her mother's legs. They both walk away and Kassandra is left standing there with the coach.
"What happened?" Kassandra asks Arabella.
Arabella just shrugs and looks away, picking the corner of her lips that was already red with blood.
"The girls were having an argument about her father," the coach explains to her. "Arabella is not off the team, but she'll be benched for the rest of the season and I think you should have a talk with her. I understand it's a difficult subject and I won't hold it against either of you."
Kassandra smiles kindly at the coach and she gathers up Arabella's equipment and heads to her car. Arabella is quiet on the way back to the house and Kassandra is as well. She wonders just how much Arabella knows and just how much pain she is in knowing that Sirius, her father, is in jail. Without a second thought, Kassandra changes course and she's on her way towards the closest diner. She orders two chocolate milkshakes and stares at Arabella, waiting for her to meet her gaze. She looks at the black eye and the split lip and wishes Arabella would meet her eyes.
But she picks at the napkins. Tearing them into halves, then quarters, eights, and until they are in a pile in front of them.
The waitress brings them the milkshakes and Arabella finally looks up, accidently looking at Kassandra.
"Arabella, I need to know what happened during practice."
Arabella grinds her jaw and stares at the straw. Her gazed is fixed and she won't dare look up at Kassandra. She then says, quietly, "Beatrice said I was a loser. That I had no father because he didn't want me. She said he was a crazy maniac and that I'm going to turn into him and blow up the whole team and that her father told her this. I said her father was pathetic and stupid and she hit me and I hit her back."
Kassandra grips her cup tightly with each word.
"Arabella, there are always going to be people that are going to say mean things to you –"
"I don't want to talk about it," Arabella snaps with tears in her eyes. She then stands up, drink untouched. "I don't want to talk about Beatrice or her mother or her stupid father. I don't want to talk about him or go home and have Remus talk to me about it. I don't want to talk about how my father is in jail while Hope's father is at our house right now or how he made the decision not to be there for us… for me…"
Arabella took a deep breath and people in the diner were now staring at her. She walked out of there quickly, slamming the door behind her.
"Kids," scoffed the man at the booth besides her.
"Shut up," Kassandra snapped at him.
She put some money down on the table, gave the man a dark look and followed Arabella out of the diner. She found her at the car, sitting on the ground next to the back tire. Kassandra sighed and sat beside her. Arabella was staring at the other car and Kassandra followed suit.
"There are always going to be people that are going to say mean things to you," said Kassandra, starting over again. "They're going to say hurtful things, mean things, but you have to ignore them. You have to be the bigger person, even if you want to hurt them back and make them feel the same pain you do."
"Whatever," mumbled Arabella, looking up at the sky. "I don't care anyways."
Kassandra looked at Arabella. "You do care. If you didn't, you wouldn't have yelled at me in the diner or try to hide the fact that you're crying. You care a lot. It's eating away at you and you're lying to yourself to get through this, but it's not working, now, is it?"
Arabella didn't say anything. She just bit her lips and said nothing.
"Does it hurt that Hope's father and yours are not the same person?" Kassandra asks.
Arabella shrugged. "Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't."
'How?' The question slipped out and Kassandra wanted to take it back. She didn't want to know how much it hurt her Arabella to see Remus and Hope.
"He sings to her sometimes," Arabella said quietly. "And he reads to her at night. She looks a little like him. She has his eyes and all I see in the mirror is him. It's just a reminder of how different me and Hope are. She has Remus as a father while I have… Sirius."
"Do you hate him?" Kassandra asked.
Arabella opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. "I don't know," she gritted out. Her jaw was clenched. "I don't know if I hate him. Do you hate him?"
Kassandra wanted to tell her no. She thought about all those times she spent with Sirius. The good times they had together, laughing and smiling and being with each other and just how comfortable they were, but instead she said, "I don't know. Sometimes I do, but then I look at you and I don't hate him so much. He gave me you and I can't hate him for that."
Arabella gave her a single nod before putting her head on her hands. Her shoulders were shaking and Kassandra hugs her close.
"Everything's going to be fine," Kassandra whispered. "I promise you. Everything is going to be fine."
They sit there for a while. Arabella sits on her lap while Kassandra rocks her back and forth, soothing her hair. People fill into their cars, glancing at them, but Kassandra gives them a look and they are left alone.
"You want to go home?" Kassandra asks quietly.
Arabella nods against Kassandra's chest and they get in the car. Arabella's head leans against the window as she picks the car belt.
They reach the house and Kassandra turns to Arabella. "Come here." She hugs her daughter close and kisses the top of her head. "I love you so much. I'm sorry if I cause you any pain. I wish I could take it back and make everything better."
"It's fine, Mum," mumbled Arabella. "You can let go of me now."
"Few more minutes," said Kassandra, hugging Arabella closer.
Arabella sighs and relaxes against Kassandra's chest. It's been a long time since Kassandra has held Arabella like this. After a few seconds, Kassandra kisses Arabella's cheek, forehead, nose and chin until Arabella finally lets out a small laugh.
"Mum, stop," said Arabella, pushing her away.
"Okay, okay, I get it," conceded Kassandra. "I love you, Arabella. Never forget that. Go inside and get some dinner."
Arabella left the car and Kassandra follows her inside slowly. The Quidditch equipment are left in the car, forgotten.
Remus and Hope are in the kitchen, putting dinner together. They are a duo when it comes to cooking. They work well with each other and they are always in sync. Kassandra sees it. She sees how Arabella can hate them and their relationship, their bond. They have something Arabella doesn't. She's the odd person out. It's the same feeling Kassandra got with Abel and Arabella, and she hopes she wasn't making the same mistakes her mother made. She didn't want her family to be filled with uneasiness, hatred and jealously. She didn't want their bonds to never be fixed or mended.
But then Remus looks up at them, smiling, and he hugs Arabella close, squeezing her shoulders. She mumbles something to him and he whispers something back. Arabella smiles and lets out a shaky laugh. In all her time living with Abel, he never once did that for her. Kassandra watches and knows that she is not her mother, because this house is filled with love and protection. She loved Hekabe, but her mistakes started with Abel. It doesn't matter if Sirius fathered Arabella, because at the end of the day, the person she goes to if she has a nightmare or a problem is Remus. He took care of her, he looked after her, and she is just as much his daughter as Hope is.
Hope then declares that dinner is ready, her voice filled with pride and they all sit down. They make jokes during dinner, Hope more than anyone else. She can always sense when Arabella is unhappy and Kassandra's heart swells with pride when Hope brightens Arabella up with her joke about the Bats. Remus bites back a retort when Arabella laughs.
"What did you tell her?" Kassandra asks Remus later that night. They put the girls to bed. Hope was sleeping with Arabella that night and Kassandra was sure they were staying up right now, gossiping about something or another. Most likely about the neighbourhood boy Hope has a crush on.
"Nothing much," said Remus, shrugging as he began to wash the dishes while Kassandra dried them. "Just reminding her that she is not defined by her roots but by her actions and her words. And that she's the best player on the team."
Kassandra let out a dry laugh. "Don't need to inflate her ego, Remus."
Remus shrugged. "Just telling her the truth."
Kassandra smiled at him. "You're a good father, Remus."
Remus looked at her. He smiled and then turned back to the plate in his hand.
The next morning, Arabella comes to her and tells her that she's going to quit the team.
"What?" asked Kassandra, staring at Arabella. "Why?"
"Things are not going to get easier,' said Arabella, shrugging. "They barely trust me and after yesterday... it's better if I don't play with the team anymore. Things are not going to get easier after yesterday."
Kassandra agrees and accepts this. The coach doesn't though and is sad to see her go, but Arabella is happier on the way back home. It seems as though a weight was lifted off her shoulders and Kassandra breaths easier knowing that Arabella is going to be just fine.
Kassandra doesn't explain to Arabella where her name comes from or why she wakes up screaming for Arabella because she's not. She's screaming for her dead sister and lies to her daughter. She doesn't want to add more to Arabella's already messy plate. She lies and hope that everything goes away and that she would never have to tell her just how angry and hurt she was when she was younger, wanting revenge against the world.
Remus agrees with her. He doesn't want to re-open the past just as much as she does. He doesn't want to explain who he was back then or why old wounds never quite heal. He doesn't want to explain to Arabella or Hope just how much Kassandra's sister meant to him. She knows he could never do that.
So they pretend nothing's wrong. But Kassandra always feels like she's betraying her sister's memory whenever she looks at her daughters.
Years go by and the girls are in school. They always find a way to keep themselves busy, and they're happy. All of them have worked very hard to be happy and they deserve it.
They girls grow up looking like her. Arabella has Sirius's eyes and his temperament. She does before she thinks and has a very short fuse. She prefers actions compared to words. And she has his smile and his laugh. Kassandra has to remind herself so many times that Sirius is not in the house and that it's Arabella, her daughter, their daughter, not him.
Hope has Remus's eye, and she is sweet and kind and loving. Kassandra wonders how Hope came from her because she's perfect and she is thankful that she turned out exactly like she did. She sees the good in people, something Kassandra wishes she could too.
The four of them sit around the kitchen table together, and Kassandra is thankful that they take after her in looks. She doesn't need a physical reminds of the choices she made in her life. She already feels it whenever her fingers brush over the wedding ring that hangs around her neck.
We'll try to document this light,
With cameras to our eyes,
In an effort to remember
What being mended feels like.
We're home sweet home
Thank you so much for reading! Tell me what you guys think about this AU. Going forward, this should be very short. At least 5-6 chapters if everything goes according to plan.