A/N: For all of you beautiful people who are reading this, but a little bit more for ObeliskX, Jane and Lyle's first date!
Enjoy this first installment of The Feels :)
Petra fell over Remy giggling. "No, no, Janie's got a slightly higher voice." She corrected, holding her stomach.
Siri struck a ridiculously provocative pose. "I'm Jane Potter." She fake-swooned, holding one hand to her heart and another to her forehead. "I'm in luuuuuuurve with you, Lyle Evans."
She switched sides, facing the previous position she was in. This time, she puffed out her ample chest, pushed her shoulders back, and very dramatically, ran a hand through her hair.
"And I'm Lyle Evans." She made her voice as deep as it could possibly go. Her monologue was interrupted by the howls and shrieks coming from Remy and Petra, who were slumped over each other, laughing as hard as they could. "I hate you, Jane Potter." She declared vehemently, jerking her chin away in a snobby manner. "However, I actually like you too. But because I'm a stupid idiot who can't admit my feelings for you, I'm going to reject you in the most humiliating way I know every time you ask me out. So there! Aren't I smart?!"
Grinning, Siri dropped the charade and bowed low, sweeping the ground. "And there you have it, folks!" She cried. "A live representation of the relationship of Lyle Evans and Jane Potter!"
Petra whooped, clapping her hands together maniacally, whereas Remy couldn't even compose herself long enough to yell for an encore. Siri was still bowing and Petra was still wolf-whistling and Remy was still giggling when a very grumpy Jane Potter stomped into the dorm, threw her broom across the room and plonked herself onto the ground. Siri and Remy exchanged looks that were half-amused, half-concerned.
"Who died, mate?" Petra asked sympathetically.
Siri climbed up onto her bed and sat there, cross-legged, waiting for Jane to say something. When she didn't reply, Remy frowned and crawled over to her from where she was on the floor.
"Janie?" She asked her, the only person who could call her that without getting punched. "Are you okay?"
"I want to kill Lyle Evans." She muttered, pretending to choke the air. "I want to watch the life slowly drain out of his body, second by second, and I want to watch the light leave his eyes. Then I want the house elves to cook him in a stew so that I can eat him, and then I can poop him out and then flush him down the toilet."
Petra and Siri exchanged a startled look. "What did he do now?"
Jane glared at Petra. "More of a question of what he didn't do."
Silence before Remy finally groaned.
"Alright, I'll bite." She enunciated, combing a hand through her short, brown locks. "What didn't he do now?"
Jane got up and began to pace across the room. "He had this slag of a bitch pushed up against the wall in front of the Charms classroom, and he'd shoved his fucking tongue down her throat! I swear to Merlin, I've never seen such a disgusting display in my entire life! She was making horrendous noises, and you could plainly hear them from two floors above! The absolute bastard!"
Remy and Siri exchanged uncertain looks as Petra's eyebrows travelled slowly up her forehead as Jane talked.
"Mate, not to be a mood killer or anything, but didn't you shag that rather fit bloke from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team inside that very same Charms classroom?" Petra ventured.
Jane glared at her. "That's different. I was drunk."
Petra rolled her eyes. "Yes, and we all know you like to shag red-headed boys when you're drunk because they all look like Lyle to you."
Jane threw a pillow at her and scowled heavily, her thick eyebrows overshadowing her eyes.
"Sorry, sweetie." Remy muttered, walking over to her and hugging her. "Was it very bad this time?"
Jane muttered rudely, allowing Remy's hands to envelope her. "He hexed my broom. I puked."
"Yes, he is very fond of doing that, isn't he?" Siri giggled. "Even though you two are friends now."
Jane rolled her eyes. "Shove off, Padfoot. He only gets like this when I hit on him. Otherwise, he's perfectly lovely."
"Kitchens?" Petra spoke up. Remy laughed at the question, and Siri draped her arm over her shoulders.
"Sweetie, what else do we do when our darling Janie has been turned down by the marvellously handsome Lyle Evans?" Siri exclaimed. Jane slugged her arm, and the four of them grabbed her cloak and their map, dodging Filch as they sneaked into the kitchens where the house-elves welcomed them for hot chocolate and popcorn.
Jane was the first to fall asleep that day, as she always did after they visited the kitchens, and Petra had been waiting for it. As soon as she detected the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, she crawled over the Siri and Remy's beds, trying to wake them up.
She wrinkled her nose when she realized that they'd just had sex and were naked. Charming tank tops and shorts onto both of them, she shook them awake properly and they sat up, rubbing their eyes blearily.
"Petra...!" Remy whined, groping wildly for both Siri and the blanket.
"I had the most amazing, fantastic, brilliant idea during the chocolate and popcorn thingy today." She announced proudly, choosing to ignore that Siri had snaked an arm around Remy's waist. "And could you guys not cuddle after sex in front of me? Thank you."
Siri rolled her eyes and Remy blushed, glancing downwards to check if she was clothed.
"You said use silencing charms, we used silencing charms. You said don't have sex during the mornings, we don't have sex during the morning. What else do you want us to do?" Siri grumbled, trying to tub Remy back into a horizontal position. "You can't even tell we're together during the day, leave us be during the night."
"But I had this brilliant idea!" Petra whined. "Let's play a prank on Jane!"
Remy pushed Siri's hands away from her and pulled her into an upright position. "You love to play pranks on Jane." She blackmailed her.
Siri groaned, her head falling forward onto Remy's shoulder with a thunk. "Alright, let's hear it."
"We Polyjuice one of us into Lyle. And then hang out with Jane." She paused dramatically. "Jane will hit on him, and he'll accept."
She waited in silence, for the absolute wonder of the prank to sink into them. Siri just blinked.
"Say what?" She asked. Petra groaned.
"We make a Polyjuice potion. I become Lyle. I hang around with Jane. She will ask Lyle actually-known-as me to Hogsmeade. Lyle actually-known-as me will say yes. We then watch her freak out and try to take the real Lyle to Hogsmeade. Then we watch him hex her. Then we buy her Firewhiskey to make up for the prank. Clear enough for you two?"
Remy looked back at Siri, who was biting her lip in anticipation.
"Yes!" The black-haired girl exclaimed in a loud whisper, a devilish gleam in her eye. "One hundred percent yes! Merlin, I want to see her face! Let's do it tomorrow!"
Remy giggled. "Baby, Polyjuice takes a month to brew. We'll do it, but you have to be patient."
Siri looked like she wanted to protest, but she yawned instead. "Okay. Petra, go back to sleep. Remy, I'm cold and I want to cuddle."
She rolled her eyes, imitating a sickly-sweet voice. "Yes, dear." The two of them dove back under Siri's covers, and huddled together, leaving Petra ready to hurl.
She chose to go to bed instead.
One month later
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Remy hissed, adjusting Petra's robes and straightening her tie. She was currently Lyle Evans, and could not stop checking her own jawline out in the mirror and giggling.
"Jane's right around the corner!" Siri whisper-yelled, barreling into the broom cupboard they were all squashed into. "You need to go, now!"
"Okay." Petra squared her shoulders and ran a hand through her hair, mussing the silky red strands. She marched out of the broom cupboard and adopted Lyle's carefree gait easily, walking towards Jane. The girl's hair was windblown and big, as it almost always was, and she caught her eye, grinning. She changed pace, walking towards Jane.
"Hey, Potter!" She greeted her cheerily. Jane's eyes raked over her appreciatively and Petra fought the urge to laugh. Was Prongs always this forward? No wonder Lyle blew her off spectacularly every time Jane asked her out.
"Looking good, Evans." She appraised her, winking. "Thought you had a meeting with McGonagall now? Did you cancel just to spend time with me? I'm touched, Evans!"
Petra rolled her eyes involuntarily, but apparently it was the right thing to do, because Jane grinned. "No, you git." She smiled teasingly. "I finished ahead of time, and came out to go to the kitchens. I need a snack before Potions."
Jane frowned, but the flirty look in her eye didn't fade. "I thought you said you didn't know where the kitchens were?" She asked suspiciously.
Shit why do I keep messing up. Petra berated herself. "That's why I came looking for you, Potter."
Jane grinned, and Petra congratulated herself. She wasn't doing too bad.
"I think I'm making progress, Evans." Jane winked again and Petra honest-to-Merlin wanted to smack her for her complete and utter lack of seduction skills. "Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?"
Petra shrugged, her mouth tipping up into a half-smile. "Why not?"
Jane's mouth dropped open and Petra fought the persistent urge to drop the charade and laugh her ass off.
"Pick me up at ten, yeah?" She grinned, turning on her heel and walking in the other direction, back to Siri and Remy and the broom closet. "Don't be late. You'll be paying."
She didn't wait for Jane's stupor to lift before hurtling herself into the broom closet, clutching her stomach and heaving with laughter.
"Well?" Siri demanded, her lips, Petra noticed, significantly swollen.
"I'll tell you later." She giggled. "Go to Jane now. I need to stay here until the Polyjuice wears off."
She gave them a kick out the door and Remy giggled, shooting off to find Jane and pulling Siri behind her. They arrived to find a slightly breathless Jane Potter, who was opening and closing her mouth without making a sound like a fish. Some of the younger students chortled upon seeing her expression, and rushed off before she could hex them.
"Prongs!" Remy called to her, waving. "Where have you been? We're already late for Potions!"
She didn't say anything.
"Potter?" Siri asked, catching up. "Are you dead?"
"I think...so." She enunciated. "Lyle Evans just agreed to go out with me to Hogsmeade!"
Remy and Siri exchanged a look before their mouths dropped open in faux shock. "What, really?!"
Jane nodded vigorously. "He said to pick him up at ten!"
"Good going, Prongs!" Siri congratulated her, whacking her shoulder. "We'll help you decide what to wear."
Jane looked at them, panicked. "Please do."
On Saturday, Jane adjusted her clothes nervously before rapping once on the wood of the boys' dormitories. Petra had said something that walked the line between friendly and flirty and had pulled out a rather nice blouse and a top, which Siri had immediately disagreed to. She had instead picked out a very revealing, see-through shirt and skirt that made her do a double take the first time she saw Jane wearing it. Remy had rolled her eyes and suggested a white sundress and sandals, simply brushing her hair and braiding a few strands away from her face, framing it. That was what she had gone with.
And now, Malcolm McKinnon opened the door, still in his pajamas, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. They popped open when they saw her.
"Merlin, Jane!" He said, surprised. "Who are you going on a date with?"
She rubbed her bare arms consciously. "Lyle told me to pick him up at ten?" She asked, trying to peek into the room. Malcolm frowned, his eyebrows creasing. He ducked back to check on his roommates.
"Sorry, honey. Lyle's still asleep. If you're willing to wait fifteen, I could take you out." He winked and Jane rolled her eyes.
"Thanks, but no thanks, McKinnon. Lyle told me to pick him up at ten. Can I talk to him?"
He scratched the back of his head. "Jane, I told you. He's asleep."
"He might have forgotten." She insisted. "Wake him up."
Malcolm looked torn, and finally padded inside to shake Lyle awake when Jane raised her eyebrow meaningfully. A couple of minutes later, a shirtless Lyle Evans appeared, pushing the strands of red hair that fell into his eyes away. Jane couldn't help but stare.
"Jane Potter." He was irritated. "You better have a damn good explanation of why Malcolm just woke me up, telling me that I agreed to go on a date with you at ten today."
She tore her eyes away from his chest, confused. "You did...? Remember the day before yesterday, before Potions?"
He frowned. "Jane, I was with Professor McGonagall until the second bell rang, and then I rushed to class. I didn't meet you anywhere, and I sure as hell would have remembered agreeing to go on a date with you."
"Lyle, you met me outside in the corridor." She insisted, doubting her own sanity. "You asked me to take you to the kitchens, and then I asked you out, and then you said yes, remember?"
He chuckled. "Asking you to take me to the kitchens sounds about right, but I didn't agree to go on a date with you. I didn't even meet you before Potions. Sorry, but it looks like someone might've tricked you."
She frowned, mulling it over. "It was definitely you." She told him.
Petra, Siri and Remy were underneath the cloak, doing their best not to accidentally make a sound. Remy finally cast a silencing charm and they burst into loud snorts, tears leaking from their eyes.
He shrugged, grinning. "Wasn't me. But I'm pretty sure your friends," he gestured to a pair of feet in flip-flops just behind them, "had something to do with it."
She turned around, glaring at the single pair of feet that tripped around, as the owner - Petra - laughed her heart out, too amused to notice what Jane was looking at and too amused to actually hear what they were saying; Remy and Sirius in the same state as well.
Jane turned back to Lyle, a crimson flame painting her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She stammered. "My friends...they're absolute bigots and I'm very, very sorry and I hope this doesn't mess up any miniscule chance I might have had." She managed to get out.
He grinned. "But, you know, since you're all dressed up and pretty anyway, I might as well get dressed too."
Somehow, Siri heard that and she yanked on Petra and Remy's arms.
"Did he just say what I thought he said?!" Petra hissed, surprised. Remy giggled nervously again and they waited with bated breath for Jane's response, collectively groaning when she did respond.
"Say what?" Jane wasn't sure she heard him correctly. He grinned even wider, if possible, and swiped a kiss against her cheek.
"Give me fifteen minutes to get dressed and we can go." He smiled, turning around and closing the door almost all the way.
She stood there, gaping, before she remembered that her friends were under the cloak behind her. Whirling around, the three of them barely had any time to register the fact that she had exposed them, pulling the cloak off with a flourish, before it actually happened.
"Bitches!" She exclaimed happily, sweeping them all into a hug. "I'll be mad at you when I get back, but right now all I can do is say thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Remy shifted uncomfortably in the tight embrace, smiling smugly. "You're welcome."
"Now let go of us." Petra added brazenly. "He should be coming back in...what? Ten minutes?"
Siri squealed. "Twelve minutes! We should go! Come on; Padfoot, Wormtail, let's go!"
She winked at Jane before pulling her girlfriend and Petra down the hall into their dormitory, Remy having grabbed the cloak before she did so.
Jane could hear Remy's parting Good luck! sounding in her ears as she paced outside Lyle's door, pulling at the hem of her dress nervously. Finally, finally, he came out, wearing what Jane recognized as Muggle denim jeans, a white collared shirt and a deep blue sweater over it. He loosened his watch as he stepped out, grinning at Jane.
"Ready to go, Potter?"
She found her voice. "For years." She replied, linking her hand with his. They climbed out of the common room.
"Jane, before I forget..." he began mock-seriously, looking at her. She honest-to-Merlin hoped that he wouldn't say he was just going with her as 'friends', not catching onto his tone. "...you're paying."
She couldn't help it. She threw back her head of wild, messy hair and laughed.
A/N: Well? Thoughts? Criticism?
If you want me to do a prompt (I'm still working on others ObeliskX has sent me), send me a PM or drop me a review!
I love you all :)
Mimi.