1Here Without You

By Tari

Yeah… Aurikku one shot. I have been listening to the song "Here Without You" by 3 doors down for 5 days straight and I believe that my iPod is going to magically spring to life and slap me or something just to have the privilege of playing another song. Well, I am now listening to "Lacrymosa" from Evanescence's second album, "The Open Door" on my hi-fi. Happy?


Wrote this during English whilst studying the poem "My Last Duchess" by Robert Browning. Seriously psychotic but quite entertaining!

Dedication, dedication… Guess this one has to go to Drachegirl14 for getting me hooked on this song. Even when I am not listening to it, I am singing it inside my head… You write such good fanfiction – and well, I kinda borrowed the song title from you so you do deserve a lot of credit for inspiring me!

Disclaimer:I do not own Final Fantasy X or "Here Without You". I do own the booklet that I am supposed to be working on, however. Eh, this would have to be rated M for the implied sex and smut and sexual innuendos – I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The malicious tears tumbled steadily down Rikku's cheeks: serving as a constant reminder of everything that the girl had lost. The soiled pillow that Rikku slept against was her only source of comfort and even then, its confidentiality had been washed away with the continuous onslaught of tears.

Life had been rather unkind to the young Al Bhed: for not only had she lost almost all of her family when the Guado had attacked Home, but now she had also lost perhaps the one person that she could properly confide in. Apart from her cousin Yuna, of course.

Although… Rikku sniffled slightly as she brought another pillow and held it against her chest, pretending that for one poignant moment Auron was still here and was now wrapped securely in her embrace. Reality reared its ugly head, smothering the girl with its truthful presence and emitting a small sob, Rikku hurled the pillow away from her where it landed in a dark and lonely corner of the room. It was no use thinking of what could never be. Auron was dead and had been for ten years – even when he had journeyed with them on Yuna's Pilgrimage.

Burying her face back into the pillow, Rikku's body shook as the memories of Auron's Sending came flooding back to her, the events of that fateful day suffocating her mind with its overwhelming clarity.

The Fayth were tired of dreaming… It was Yuna's duty to Send the tortured souls to their well-deserved rest… And yet, it was also Auron's fate to be finally allowed to leave Spira. For the warrior's weary eyes portrayed all of the suffering he had endured in both his life and death: promises that had been made, and fulfilled, and his own contribution of sacrificing his afterlife so that he could guide Yuna on her destiny to defeat Sin, and inevitably, bring the Eternal Calm to Spira.

After clinging onto life for so long, Auron had left for the Farplane, expecting life to carry on as normal and for no one to mourn his passing or remember him. He was wrong… For Rikku would always remember Auron for his bravery and now his legacy that was growing in the confines of her womb.

The little Al Bhed whose presence had always seemed to annoy the man, who he had scolded for rifling through his pockets for treasure on a number of occasions and comforted after the destruction of her home, was now carrying his child. After a decade of living in Zanarkand before finally returning to Spira, Auron had forbade himself the presence of other women in his life: devoting himself wholly to guarding Tidus. But Rikku had been the one to break through the barriers that the warrior had built around his stoic heart, and lull Auron from his miserable life of loneliness.

With a small, sad smile, Rikku remembered the first time that she had realised that she had loved Auron… In the claustrophobic confines of the airship, after Rikku had been forced to watch the destruction of Home, filled with the knowledge that her life was gone in a matter of mere seconds. Quietly, she had sung the Hymn of the Fayth with her brother and father, reminiscing of the hours that she had spent with her brother, Keyakku, and silently crying for those that had been left behind, dying in a plethora of colourful explosion alongside the fiends. Desperately wanting a few minutes of solace, Rikku had retreated to a small cabin as far away from the bridge as possible and remained there for hours, finding the strength to continue on with life in the grave aftermath.

Auron had been her saviour. Like a resilient candle in a fierce storm of tears, the warrior had sought her out and comforted her whilst she cried. That lonely night, Auron had poured a little of his soul into Rikku as he gradually opened up to her: allowing his demeanour to take on the form of a person who had his faults, and yet chose to cast them aside in order to become a dependant, and yet so vulnerable man. A man whose life had been marred with so many cruel events and yet he bore them painstakingly, never allowing the haunting memories to rule his existence. If anything, the memory of his dead friends drove him on, and allowed him to become the person he was today.

Except, there was no one there to hold Rikku this time… No Auron to run a calloused, yet surprisingly gentle band through the locks of golden hair, murmuring soft words of comfort to soothe her tears… The room was as empty as her broken heart.

Running a hand over her flat stomach which would soon be swelling with the birth of new life, Rikku allowed a small smile to tug at her lips as she thought of the baby who would grow up to be as handsome and as courageous as their father. Except, there would only be one doting parent to watch their child grow up. Auron was dead.

A sharp pain ricocheted through Rikku's stomach and she placed a soothing hand over it, caressing the small bundle of life that was slowly beginning to show signs of existence. "Don't worry, baby," she murmured, her voice thick with emotion as she continued to rub her stomach, marvelling at the first stirrings of their child. "Even though daddy's not here, I'll always look after you."

That night, as blissful slumber finally settled over Rikku's seemingly sleepless form, Rikku dreamt of Auron and the first kiss that they had shared, nestled together to share their body warmth on the summit of Gagazet, as the snow spiralled around their shivering forms, locked in an eternal dance of promise.

Rikku trudged wearily along the deep trench that Auron and Kimahri had made together, fighting hard to remain awake. Her teeth chattering, Rikku rubbed her hands furiously over her bare arms, trying desperately to coax some warmth into the long numbed limbs.

"Stupid Pilgrimage," she grumbled to herself, her voice hoarse after having gone without talking for so long. Extraordinary, Tidus had commented cheekily, for her. Rikku hated to admit that she agreed. Zanarkand was fast approaching and neither she nor Tidus had found a way to make Yuna quit her Pilgrimage. Even when Rikku and Tidus had approached the Summoner with potential reasons, arguments and even to some extent of begging her to quit, instead of submitting to their advice, this had only made Yuna more determined to face Yunalesca in Zanarkand.

And now: they were almost here. Time was slipping desperately through their fingers but in her heart, Rikku knew that her cousin could never be dissuaded. As long as she lived, Yuna would continue on to Zanarkand and receive the final Aeon, ending her life so that Sin would be vanquished and ultimately, reborn.

Lost in her thoughts, Rikku failed to notice that the patch of ice beneath her feet was slowly beginning to become patterned with cracks, due to the weight of the girl, and the weight of the Guardians who had passed before her. With a sickening lurch, Rikku was pitched forward and as she realised the current danger she was in, the girl called out, but her weak voice was carried away by the howling wind.

Desperately trying to grab hold of something as she was pulled under the surface, Rikku began to slide down the submerging ice, and closed her eyes as her feet fell unresistingly into the water, gasping at the below freezing temperature as the rest of her body followed suit.

Sucking in a deep breath as she was pulled under the water, Rikku tried to swim through the icy water in order to reach solid ground again, but the force of the underground current carried her away, just as easily as if she had weighed nothing at all.

Rikku was forced under again and her limbs flailing frantically, she tried to signal her turmoil by calling out once again to the other members of the Pilgrimage, but then she remembered: there had been no response to her initial shout.

Steadily, the girl's drenched clothes began to weigh her down, threatening to leave her trapped under the ice forever.

She was going to die.

As the hope drained out of her body alongside her dwindling oxygen supply, she knew that there was no hope. In a way, Rikku was glad that she did not have to go to Zanarkand just for the privilege of watching her cousin, Yuna, die…

Suddenly, she felt something clamp hurriedly over her wrist, tugging Rikku sharply upwards and back into the surface world. 'Why couldn't they have just left me here?' thought Rikku as she began to drift in and out of consciousness due to the lack of air. 'At least it is much warmer here than that frozen hell hole!'

Being turned on her side roughly, Rikku felt the water beginning to leave her lungs at last and she started coughing violently. Drawing in many deep breaths, she inhaled and exhaled rapidly, coaxing air into her oxygen-starved lungs. She was pulled into a sitting position and felt warm material being draped around her trembling form.

"You foolish girl," spoke a voice sharply and Rikku flinched before pulling the coat tighter around her, watching as her breath came out in puffs of mist before her eyes. Slowly, she raised her face to see Auron bending over her, an angry frown formed upon his lips. "The next time that you are walking over ice, sound it out first to see whether or not it is safe to cross!"

"Well everyone else seemed to get over it just fine!" yelled Rikku, her drenched hair falling over her face and she tucked it behind her ears quickly. "I don't see anyone else taking a little dip under the ice!"

"That's not funny, Rikku," Auron warned, folding his arms across his chest in what appeared to be a superior manner. "You almost died today and all you can do is laugh about it? Next time, be more careful."

Rikku's mouth opened and closed many times before retorting: "Oh yeah, like I'm really going to dive back into that swimming pool just for the hell of it!"

"What would Yuna have done if you had died? Do you think that she would have been very happy with your blatant foolishness? You, possibly, are the only one who can keep Yuna's spirits up. You are the one who ensures that a smile never leaves her face, no matter how false it is. She needs you, Rikku, and if you discard that trust so casually then that is your own personal choice. Never forget: without you, Yuna might as well lay down right here and die."

"Auron, I-" Rikku trailed off and looked timidly down at her water-logged shoes. So the warrior was trying to make the girl guilt-ridden over the accident by saying that it would have broken Yuna's heart? Well, it would have worked had it not been for one simple fact: "I love Yuna," stated Rikku angrily, her small fist clenched underneath the coat.

"Then if you love her," replied Auron softly but dangerously, "I suggest that you do nothing more to place your own life in danger. For Yuna will reach Zanarkand soon and she will need your support."

"For what?" Rikku snapped: her attention now fully focussed upon Auron's face. "I need to support her in her decision to die?" Rikku faltered and the tears sparkled in her emerald eyes as she prepared to speak her next words. "As a Guardian, every one of us swore an oath that we would protect Yuna and keep her from danger; even at the cost of our own lives. Would you be willing to protect her even from her fate?"

Auron let his piercing gaze roam briefly over the girl's livid face before turning and walking away, leaving Rikku huddled on the ice in a miserable heap.

Camp that night was cheerless and the fire that crackled in their midst sparked and hissed: its very presence seeming threatening. Zanarkand was fast approaching. Each lost in his or her own thoughts; the Guardians contemplated what was going to happen when they reached that accursed death chamber. For Yuna would gladly sacrifice herself so that Spira could thrive for ten years without the destruction and chaos that was Sin looming over their lives. Nothing would stop Yuna now: for she was determined to bring the Calm, just like her father, Braska, had before her. They had reached the end of their journey and very soon: one of their numbers would leave them forever. The constant reminder weighed down each and every single one of the Guardians' hearts although none dared to speak the shared thought out loud.

Even with the tremendous heat that the fire was now emitting, however, the cold still managed to seep into their bones. Rikku, who had remained virtually silent since the incident on the ice that afternoon, began to shiver uncontrollably.

"We should probably go to our rest now," commented Auron, noticing as Rikku's heavy lids began to droop. "We have a long way to go tomorrow if we are to reach Zanarkand before nightfall."

Yuna blanched visibly at her father's guardian's words, but otherwise gave no reaction to her imminent death, as she assigned two to a tent to conserve body heat. Kimahri folded his arms indignantly over his chest. He was born here on the sacred Mountain and was well accustomed to the lack of temperature. No one would be snuggling up with him tonight.

And so, Rikku found herself sharing a tent with Auron. In any other circumstance, the girl would have found their current position of being pressed chest-to-chest awkward – particularly considering their earlier confrontation – but Rikku felt strangely comfortable and secure with Auron's hand resting protectively at her waist, the warrior's coat as well as numerous blankets, wrapped around the pair.

Despite the warmth provided, Rikku continued to tremble in Auron's arms and he frowned before placing a hand upon the girl's forehead. Her skin was freezing cold to the touch and her lips were steadily turning blue. Tipping Rikku's chin up, Auron forced her eyes to meet his own. "Why did you not tell us earlier?"

Rikku scoffed before jerking her face away. "I did not want Yuna to worry."

Heaving a great sigh, Auron let his hand slip from the girl's waist and proceeded to remove his vest, revealing his finally toned stomach underneath. Unable to take her eyes off of Auron's chest, Rikku gulped. 'Oh, God, please don't tell me that he sleeps naked!'

"Auron?"

The warrior looked up, his gaze meeting hers as his hands lingered over the button of his trousers, which was so damn distracting. "What in hell's name do you think you're doing?"

"I am preserving body heat," answered Auron smoothly as he continued to discard his clothing, placing it in a neat pile beside him. "Skin-to-skin contact is a very adequate way of warming a person up."

'If Tidus and Wakka had known this, then they would have stripped off their clothes faster than you could say "Blitzball."'

"Take off your shirt."

A brilliant flush spread over Rikku's cheeks which would have warmed her up instantly had the scenario been different. 'Oh, no, there's no way he just said that!' Rikku shot him a filthy look. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"Take – off – your – shirt," repeated Auron slowly and emphatically, as if he were conversing with a disobedient child.

Spluttering and rather affronted by his words, Rikku folded her arms over her chest and tried to scoot away from the warrior as quickly as she could. Cursing fluently, Auron moved closer to the girl and maintaining eye contact, asking her permission silently, Auron's hands travelled downwards and began to unbutton her shorts.

'Holy sands!' exclaimed Rikku in her mind, as she hesitantly removed her sleeveless shirt just as Auron finished manoeuvring the shorts down her long legs and casting them aside, 'I can't believe that I'm getting up close and personal with the legendary guardian himself!'

Feeling Auron putting his arms round her again, even Rikku could sense that the atmosphere had changed dramatically. Where before it had been tense; now, discomfort hung thickly in the air, its presence casting mutual confusion over the occupants of the tent.

Rikku sniffled quietly and she felt Auron pulling her tighter against his firm, muscular chest and the girl buried her face briefly into the crook of his neck, relishing Auron's calloused, yet gentle hand tracing soothing designs over her back. With a small sigh of contentment, Rikku pressed her body fully against Auron's, startled as she felt something hard and extremely uncomfortable pressing against her upper thigh.

"Auron," Rikku frowned, "There's something digging into my leg."

Reaching between them, Auron retrieved his katana and placed it into a better position so that the hilt would not pester Rikku. Catching the confused glance that the girl cast in his direction, Auron smirked. "You would not like to wake up next to an ice flan, would you?"

"I'll take an old grouch over a fiend anytime."

Fidgeting slightly under Rikku's scrutiny, the warrior sighed. "I should apologise for my harsh words today," he muttered and the girl frowned, never knowing the Guardian to be this uncomfortable before. "You almost died today and all I could think about was the welfare of the Summoner."

Rikku shook her head forcefully and she cupped Auron's cheek in her small hand, forcing him to look at her. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings. If a fiend had attacked at that point, no one would have been prepared for defence because I was guarding the rear and would have already been dead."

Auron smirked and began to stroke Rikku's soft hair before placing a gentle kiss to her temple. "It was both our faults, if that makes you feel better." He paused, before letting out a quiet sigh and tipped Rikku's chin up. Their eyes locked, Auron's face began to move closer to Rikku's and their lips had touched with the most delicate of kisses when a scream disrupted their concentration.

Rikku sniggered.

"I thought you told me that you would never hurt Yuna," said Auron, his hazel eyes sparkling with amusement.

"I did, but a few practical jokes here and there can't hurt. You see, when I went swimming today I found a cute little frog and I thought Yuna might like it."

Auron shook his head, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Hypocrite," he muttered before lowering his face and capturing Rikku's lips.

Rikku awoke sometime during the early hours of the morning and groaned, rubbing a hand over her aching temple. Almost every night, she dreamed of her warrior clad in red, and of the secret smiles and stolen kisses that had passed between them. She dreamt of the endless nights that they had spent together, love pulsating through both of their bodies as they whispered sweet words of affection in the other's ear. Every morning, Rikku would wake up to find that her arms were empty and cold, the reality of Auron's embrace slipping through her fingers like fading memories.

A single tear escaping her eyes, Rikku sniffled quietly in the darkness and lay back down, nuzzling her way into the warm spot that smelled distinctly of Auron. In response, the girl could have sworn that she felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist…

With a loud gasp, Rikku sat up and found herself staring into a very amused pair of scar-less eyes. Beside her, Auron also sat up and touched a gentle hand to Rikku's cheek before leaning forward and kissing her deeply, their bodies moulding together perfectly. Suddenly, Rikku put her hands on Auron's chest and pushed herself out of Auron's embrace, eyeing the man with apprehension and doubt.

"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice quivering with emotion. "You are dead." Crying, she flung himself back into Auron's arms. "Please say you aren't just another beautiful dream."

Holding Rikku close, the warrior placed a tender kiss upon her lips before lying down again, the girl resting on top of his naked torso. "You are carrying my child," he answered simply, running a hand through the locks of flaxen hair. "Not even a small thing like death could keep us apart. Our souls are bonded for all of time: the Farplane could never destroy our connection."

Convinced of his existence, Rikku began to trail butterfly kisses down his face and along his jaw before pressing her lips eagerly to his and slipping her tongue into his waiting mouth. Auron groaned and shivered with desire, subtly grinding their hips together. Rikku pulled sharply away from Auron, an impish grin fixed upon her swollen lips.

"Are you cold?" she enquired innocently.

Auron smirked as he hastily removed Rikku's sleeping shirt and flipped them over so that Rikku now lay underneath him her broad, cheeky smile contagious. "I thought you would never ask."

AN: I had a lot of fun writing this one-shot! It just refused to leave until I had wrote it all down on paper! The little sexual innuendos seriously made my glasses steam up. I hope to get Chapter Six of "Please Remember" up soon! I hope you enjoyed this!