Okay, I saw this on Youtube of a Death Note/ Grim Adventures mash up. Well, let's see what happens when you ask Xemnas about his past life…
Update: 12-29-2015
I fixed a few errors and made more spacing in between dialogue and the narratives. So, it should be easier to read.
-miano53
Old Jobs
In the Kitchen that Never Was…
Roxas and Xion, hungry and bored (due to Axel being on a mission at C.O.), wanted to get a late night snack from the kitchen. There, they found the fridge full of healthy foods like broccoli, spinach and protein shakes.
"Aw, I wanted a taco," Xion whined.
"Well, Xemnas did say that he wanted everyone to go on the New Year's diet with him," Roxas said plainly.
"Oh well. As long as I can get my leftover taquitos!" Xion said, grinning.
Roxas looked through the fridge and saw that there were no taquitos. He turned around and, albeit in fear, said, "Um, Xion. There are no taquitos. I think Xemnas threw them away."
"My taquitos? Taquitos? TAQUITOS!" she said, screaming.
That scream woke up someone that they really, REALLY didn't want to wake. A dark corridor appeared at the kitchen door and someone said, "Why are you screaming, Number Fourteen?"
"Uh, hi Xemnas...uh sir," Roxas said nervously.
Xemnas, awakened from his beauty sleep by Xion's screaming, was quite angry with the two. Or as angry as he could be as a Nobody.
"Uh, Sir. Do you have my taquitos?" Xion asked.
"No, Saix threw them away yesterday. We are eating only healthy foods from now on," Xemnas said, not knowing the consequences.
"Aah-ah-aaaaaahhh!" Xion screaming, falling to the floor and throwing a tantrum.
"Sir, give her the taquitos! Please!" Roxas yelled, closing his ears.
Xemnas did the same and glowered at the fourteenth Nobody.
"CEASE! I'll give you your darned taquitos!" Xemnas yelled.
Xion immediately stopped screaming and giggled. The Superior, angered again that Xion forced him to do something he really didn't want to do, went into the back of the fridge and gave Xion her taquitos.
"Ee-hee-hee-hee!" Xion giggled, heading for the nearby kitchen island and sitting down.
She immediately began eating, making both the Superior and Roxas hungry. The Superior then gave Roxas a box of crackers while he found carrots he could munch on.
Much to most people's (and Nobodies') surprise, Xemnas didn't mind sitting with the two in such close proximity. As the three ate, Xion began asking questions about the Superior's human past. He answered the questions, which varied from favorite foods to his time as an apprentice, and Xion asked, "But, don't you miss your old job with that guy?"
Xemnas replied with, "Miss commanding a regimented force of destructive power*? As we encircled the Worlds with our terrible Iron Fists of Might?"
"Uh, yeah? You are talking about that guy who own Hollow Bastion, right?" Roxas asked.
Dark flames shot up from behind Xemnas as he said, hazel eyes glowing menacingly, "Crushing down all the pathetic fools who DARED to stand before us?"
"Um, I think so. We are talking about his time in Hollow Bastion, right?" Xion said, looking to Roxas.
Xemnas then bellowed, "AND GORGING OUR BELLIES ON THEIR CRIES FOR MERCY?"
"He's not talking about Hollow Bastion, is he?" Roxas muttered.
Xemnas looked even more menacing as the lights in the kitchen flickered off and he got out of his stool.
"UNTIL AT LAST, I ALOO-OO-NE STAND AS THE GLORIOUS DARK GOD OF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE!" the Nobody shouted with frenzied zeal.
The zeal tired him out and he began panting. The young Nobody and Replica stared at their boss as the Superior panted to recover from his "passionate zeal". The flames behind the Superior died down and Xemnas sat back in his seat.
Once back to his calm, emotionless self, Xemnas said, "No, not at all. I don't miss it."
Um, okay. Xemnas has a little bit too much zeal to be the "Dark Lord of All the Known Universe".
*He's talking about Vanitas.
-miano53