OK, so I recently read a great fic that dealt with this subject and it got my fanfic-idea-gears turning on my own version. This 2-shot story deals with suicide ( whether attempted or realized you'll have to read on ) so, if you're uncomfortable with it I don't mind if you head on back.
Still here? OK, read on!
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Noah Puckerman sighed and continued to stare at the bottle in his hand. He had been sitting in the growing darkness in his room for hours now and still hasn't made the ultimate decision of whether or not to go through with his plan.
'It's not like anybody will miss me. Well, maybe Sarah but, she's better off without my sorry-ass hanging around.' He thought to himself as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and sighed. His alarm went off and startled him out of his thoughts for a moment. He lugged himself to his feet and turned it off, and after another glance at the bottle, he placed it under his pillow and went to the shower to face yet another day of existence.
Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin as the door to the boy's bathroom burst open and Lima's resident badass all but stumbled in. It was just after last period and Kurt was freshening up before he had to go to GLEE. He watched as Puck roughly wiped the blood from his mouth and stared blankly at him before Kurt took pity and wet a napkin before walking to him to wipe his lip. Puck's hazel eyes never left Kurt's face and the jock made no attempt to push him away as the smaller teen gently patted the area clean. Kurt turned to throw away the bloodied wad of paper and silently walked past the larger teen to walk out of the bathroom without a word.
"OK guys, that's all for today. I want everyone to be thinking of ideas for the competition in two months and any suggestions are to be placed on my desk." Mr. Shue called as the GLEEKS gathered their things after practice. Puck had stared at Kurt almost the entire time, his intense hazel eyes finally grating on Kurt's last nerve so that when the last of the GLEEKS walked out of the room he whirled around and glared at him.
"WHAT!" he yelled angrily with his hand on his hip in his "bitch-stance" as Mercedes called it.
"Why?" Puck asked in a quiet voice. Kurt instantly felt his anger ebb away as he noticed the tired tone of Puck's voice. It was so different from the normally proud and boisterous manner that he always held himself that Kurt began to feel like something was wrong. His hands were stuffed into his jean pockets and his face still held that disturbingly blank stare from earlier.
"Why what, Puck?" Kurt answered as he shifted nervously on his feet.
"Why did you clean me up earlier? I used to make your life hell Kurt." Puck said with the same tired tone.
For the first time in his young life Kurt Hummel was seriously at a loss for words. He honestly had no idea why on Earth he felt anything other than open hostility and contempt for his former bully.
"Maybe because I seem to remember when you were Noah, the nice kid from down the street and not Puck the douche and the bane of my high school existence." Kurt said with a shrug.
Puck contemplated the smaller teen's answer for a moment before shuffling past him to the door to pause.
"Don't waste your time me, Kurt." He began as Kurt felt his chest tighten with increasing worry. Puck's last statement had Kurt widening his eyes in open shock.
"I'm seriously NOT worth it." Kurt whipped around to find the doorway empty and the feeling of unease steadily growing in his heart.
Midnight found Puck the same position as the night before with bottle gripped in his hands. He had come home to chaos as his Mom was yelling at his sister Sarah for dropping a plate by accident. She was only 10, but their Mom who was almost always drunk, had her take care of most of the chores. After quietly sending her to her room, Puck carefully picked up the mess and calmed his Mom down and got her to bed before heading to his room.
Finally making up his mind, Puck filled a glass with water from his bathroom sink and poured out a good sized handful of sleeping pills from the bottle he'd bought about a month ago. Tipping his head back, he quickly gulped down the handful before he could change his mind and stared at the haggard reflection that glared back at him from the mirror across his room. He shuffled to his bed and plopped down on his stomach wondering how long it'll take for them to work and if he would feel anything.
The buzzing of his phone caught his attention and he saw it was a text from a number he didn't recognize.
' Are you OK? ' it read.
' Who's this? ' Puck texted back.
' Kurt, stole your number from Finn's cell.' Came the reply.
' Why do you care? I thought you'd be happy to have me gone.' Puck replied.
' What do you mean "gone"? Noah, what did you do? ' came Kurt's almost instant reply.
' Fuck everythg up. Quinn, Finn, life. Nevr see Beth. Dad knew, left cuz me' Puck's texting began to become more erratic and he began to feel sleepy.
'Noah, WHAT DID YOU DO?" Kurt texted back frantically.
It took a while but when Puck's answer finally came in it sent Kurt scrambling for his keys and yelling for Finn.
'srry just so tird. Tird'
He ran up the stairs and practically collided with the tall boy as he was running down to Kurt's basement room fully expecting him to be hurt.
"Kurt, what's wrong!" he yelled as he grabbed his step-brother to keep him on his feet.
"Noah, Puck, I think he's in trouble!" he panted and showed Finn the last text. He frowned and grabbed Kurt's arm and pulled him toward the door.
"Let's go!"
It took only 10 minutes to reach Puck's house but it was the longest 10 minutes of Kurt's life as he blew through at least 3 stop signs thankful it was like 2 in the morning with no traffic.
Finn pulled out the spare key Puck told him about years ago from under the mat and unlocked the door with shaking hands. They yanked the door open and both boys ran up the short stairs and burst into Puck's room to freeze at the sight that greeted them.
Puck was laying on his stomach in his bed and the boys could see the glow from his cell that was partially hidden under his bed where he had dropped it. They ran to Puck's side and turned him over carefully, Finn fighting the lump in his throat when he saw the defeated look in his friend's eyes.
Kurt checked his pulse and noticed with worry at how sluggish and erratic it was under his fingers. Puck's skin felt cold and clammy and he could barely hold onto consciousness as he blinked at them with heavy lidded eyes. Kurt felt his world screech to a stop when he noticed the half empty pill bottle and water by Puck's bed and he whipped out his cell to dial 911.
Puck felt as if he was floating. His arms and legs were weightless and he could feel his heart slowing down. A strange kind of peacefulness settled over his mind and he felt himself slipping away when a jolt of electricity ran through his body.
'No! Let me just fade away!' he screamed in his mind as another jolt ripped through him and he came crashing back to Earth.
Puck opened his eyes with a gasp and arched his back as a third painful jolt hit him and he blearily looked around at his surroundings. He was in the back of an ambulance and the EMT still had the defibulator paddles in her hands. Kurt and Finn were to his left and were staring at him with open fear. Finn looked terrified and Kurt was openly sobbing and clutching at Puck's hand. He felt the ambulance screech to a stop and he was wheeled into the hospital where the doctors fought to keep him alive.
3 hours and two stomach pumps later, Puck awoke to find himself tied to a hospital bed. He weakly pulled at the straps but a slight movement to his right caught his eye.
"They had to keep you from hurting yourself more. When you first came in all you did was fight the nurses and doctors." Kurt said softly as his eyes shone with fresh tears.
"Why….didn't you…..let…me…just die…." Puck cried wincing at the gravely way his voice broke from his earlier rampage.
"P-please…I just…wanna….die…" Kurt sobbed into his hands as he listened to the once proud Noah "Puck" Puckerman, resident badass and sex-shark of Lima sob and beg him for death.
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Whew! This took me to a big emo place I don't usually tread. Reviews?