Another new story.
If you read my profile, you'll see what the whole same-name—different-story thing is about.
If not: basically, I'm scrapping the whole idea of the last story and taking its title and OC and starting a new one. As you can see, this one's Hetalia instead of Naruto. And that I'm jumping on the Hetalia Unit Bandwagon.
Anyway, just bare with me; it might get better.
Disclaimer for the whole story: I don't own Hetalia (Hidekazu Himaruya's), the idea of Hetalia Units (they're 0ptimuspenguin's), Fanficiton, Fate/Zero, the Apple company(or iPads/iPhones), the song Torero (by Chayanne), Twitter, Instagram, Google, Blue Exorcist, or anything else referenced in the story. If I did, they would be nowhere near as good as they are now... Or even exist.
.:.:.:.:. line .:.:.:.:.
Tick...
Tick...
Tick...
Click...
"De lunes a domingo voy desesperado, el corazón prendido allí en el carindario. Buscándote y buscando como un mercenario, tu dime donde estás que yo no te he encontrado."
I groaned as my alarm went off.
Yes, that's an alarm; it's just not your normal kind. Instead of blaring sirens scaring you awake, I set it to play music.
Got a problem with that?
"Tus manecillas giran yo voy al contrario, comiendome la vida a sorbos y a tragos. Me viste así de frente que tremendo impacto, para unirme a tu mirada dime..."
I groggily pry me eyes open. It doesn't make much of a difference eyesight-wise, though.
Everything's blurry. This isn't your average mucus-in-your-eye kind of blurry, either; everything is unfocused to the point of being one mass blob of color. I literally couldn't see a foot in front of my face clearly.
...yep. My eyesight's that bad.
"Si hay que ser... Torero, poner el alma en el ruedo, no importa lo que se venga pá que sepas que te quiero, como un buen torero, me juego la vida por tí..."
Body... I think. Work... I command you... Need to get up... It's the last day of school...
...
...
...
...
...maybe just five more minutes...
.:.:.:line:.:.:.:.:school:.:is:.:boring:.:.:.:.:line:.:.:.
8th Period: Math
Eighth period: the final period of the day on the last day of school. Everyone's counting down the seconds to the end of the school year.
However, unlike the rest of the class, I was immersed in my iPad, surfing the wonderful invention known as the Internet.
"All right class!"
Our awesome (coughGERMANcough) math teacher, Mrs. Ross, calls for our attention.
"Since this is your last period of the day, you can just use it as a study hall."
The class cheers and immediately pulled out their phones.
I just ignored her, having already been busy on the web, reading away on Fanfiction. I was just finishing the last chapter of one of those Hetalia Units fics that are so popular.
Reading these Manual Fics always makes me think of what an actual person would do in this kind of situation.
I mean, come on.
I will bet you my left arm that no one would attack the units in a fit of sociopathic, uncontrolled 'psycho' or 'evil' version of themselves, as good a plot twist that is.
Or find out that they aren't human.
Or someone they know/is involved in the story isn't human, either.
Or has something really freakin' extreme happens that causes them to either a) go insane, or b) plunge headfirst into a deep, dismal depression, having the units comfort/help them.
Not to mention most of these fanfictions have lots of grammatical errors, like forgetting the apostrophes in 'can't' or 'won't' or something similar. There is also a lot of forgotten punctuation, misspelled words and mix-ups between 'their' and 'they're' and the like.
...I'm a grammar Nazi, okay? It'll annoy me to no end if there's typos anywhere in written literature.
...
...shut up...
...
...anyway. Rant over. Back on topic.
As I close my current window and click a link to an episode of Fate/Zero, my whole screen went black.
The fudge? I think to myself. I'm pretty sure I had full battery... I don't have a bug, do I?
That would've been a pain in the ass. I had a bug once, and it completely shut down my iPad. I had to completely wipe all of its information, software and all, and reload it with my backed-up data.
But just as I was about to shut it off, a bolded, white, Helvetica-font word popped up on the screen.
CONGRATULATIONS!
...Oh. I can see where this is going.
More words popped up on the screen.
YOU ARE OUR 1,000,000,000,000th VISITOR!
Hold up. One freaking billionth?!
TO REWARD YOU FOR HELPING US REACH THIS ACHIEVEMENT, YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY AVAILABLE ONLY TO YOU!
...This is just gonna give me another virus, isn't it?
YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO HAVE THE CHANCE OF RECEIVING–
I shut off my iPad screen.
There's no way in holy hell that I'm getting another computer virus.
Yup. Uh-huh. Not happenin'.
And so, I spent the rest of class sleeping on my desk.
.:.:.:yet:.:another:.:line:.:.:.
I flopped back onto my mattress, grinning stupidly.
School's out. No more classes, no more textbooks, no more stuffy private-school uniforms, and best of all, no more homework.
Hallelujah!
I took out my iPad again. Maybe the ad thing is gone? I wonder.
I turn on the screen and type in my über-long password.
It makes the little click unlocking sound it always does, letting me into my iPad...
...And there, in all its virtual glory, was the ad.
The text from when I turned it off was still there, only it was blinking. Think of something along the lines of a car's tail lights.
I groaned. This wasn't going to leave me alone, was it?
After a moment's hesitation, I decide to at least see what the thing was advertising.
Right on cue, the flashing stops and three gigantic words (with fine print) appear on-screen:
FREE HETALIA UNITS!
Click the ad to order now.
If you would like to pass on this opportunity, this ad will disappear in:
120 seconds...
119 seconds...
118 seconds...
117 seconds...
116 seconds...
...I'm pretty sure that I stopped breathing for at least a second.
This has gotta be some kind of trick or scam. It has to be. There is no way in the name of Jesus Christ Al-fucking-mighty that it could be real for three perfectly valid reasons: (A/N: If you don't wanna read the next four paragraphs, you can skip them. They're just to keep the story flowing)
1) Robotics and computer programming hasn't come far enough (yet) to pull off a machine of some sort being self-aware, let alone mimic an anime character while being so. There would be too much missing behavioral information to function well, if it would function properly (if at all) to begin with. There would be too many uncertainties.
2) If this is like what most fanfictions say, the scientific community wouldn't be able to clone and/or program a human/android/unit/thing to such specific behavioral patterns. It's the same problem as with the computer programming, minus the self-awareness.
There would also be the issue of getting the Units to react the way the manuals say to the provided stimuli, and there might be a(n unintentional and/or unknown) required certain level or intensity of said stimuli for the Units to react in the programmed way, and those standards might not be met.
Then there's the chance of there might be a malfunction of some sort, or it might accidentally trigger an unintended or more unpleasant reaction or an undiscovered 'Mode', and then who knows what would happen if that happened, seeing that there is probably little to no troubleshooting or even information on it, and then you'd have to go through the process of trial and error to try and get them out of it and preventing it from happening again, not to mention–
...
...I started ranting again, didn't I?
...
...Ahem.
Back to the matter at hand.
...Anyway.
What is this magical and mystical third reason, you ask? It's simple:
3) It will not become real (if this is a legit chance to get Hetalia Units) because I'm not going to be that guy and tap the random, possibly virus-filled ad. Simple.
I grinned at my logic.
Nope. Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen.
I'm not going to be that guy and click stupidly on an ad that may or may not be real. If I was that kind of person, my iPad would've been dead by now.
A phrase said by Beautiful World America suddenly popped into my head: It's easy!
Yup. It's just that easy, people, to avoid viruses. Just don't click on the damned ad.
Looking back at the screen, I count down along with the built-in timer the remaining time until the ad disappears.
5 seconds...
4 seconds...
3 seconds...
2 seconds...
1 second...
...
Your offer has been terminated. You my now continue to Fate/Zero episode 22.
And then, presto. The ad's gone, my iPad's safe, and I have my anime. All is right in the world.
Just then, I hear the front door open.
"Hello, people of Earth!" the person exclaims in (fake) enthusiasm. "The awesome me has returned home!"
"'Sup, Gen!" I call back. The person that I'm yelling at is my younger sister, Genevieve, a.k.a. Genna. She goes to the same school I do, just a grade lower than me. She usually gets home late like this because of Student Council.
"Make me food, mortal!" She commands me.
"No!" I reply.
"Why?!"
"Because I was just starting to watch Fate/Zero!"
"Without me?!" Here I heard a thump, probably her dropping her bags.
"Yup!"
"Can I watch with you?!"
"No!"
"Why the fridge not?!"
"Because I said so!"
"Well, then, make me a sammich, woman!"
"Don't be sexist! You're a girl, too! Make it yourself!"
"...Fine. You suck!" she growled in that way only siblings can.
"Love you too, Gen!" I chirped.
"And after all the trouble I went through to get you that surprise..." She called, her tone of voice just screaming 'ask what it is, I dare you'.
My brain whirred for a moment before I realized what she had said.
"Surprise?" I asked. "What surprise?"
"Oh, just a little something I had gotten for you." She replies.
"What is it?" I shout back.
Usually, when she gets me surprises like this, she either wants something or it's a holiday. But I always take them anyway. Always.
Oh, you're asking why I take them, even if it's an obvious bribe? I do for one key reason.
It's usually chocolate. And I have what you would call an... unhealthy... obsession with it. Comparable to Belarus's attraction to Russia.
...It's not my fault that it's practically all of heaven stuffed into the form of a little brown drop of creamy (or otherwise) goodness.
"I'm not gonna tell you! It's for your birthday, and I think you're gonna like it!" she replied in a sing-song tone.
I stuck my tongue out at the door separating me and her.
"Put your tongue back in your mouth, sis." She calls from downstairs.
She knows me so well.
I grudgingly do as I'm told and turn my attention back to my screen.
Oh, yeah. My birthday was coming up soon. Honestly, I had forgotten about it with all the stuff going on recently.
I wonder what it could be? I thought.
With that, I clicked play on the video and started watching, my questions slowly being forgotten.
-linelineline-
Let it be known that Genevieve Florez was, at the moment, plotting the imaginary demise of her older sister.
Not only had she refused to make her a sandwich, but she was watching one of their few shared fandoms without her.
Pouting, she opened the fridge, getting out ham, cheese, turkey, mayo, lettuce, and tomatoes. She slightly snickered as she got out the last ingredient.
About a year or so ago, her sister (whom of which she was plotting the death of) had gotten into the fandom of Hetalia.
From then on, she had become obsessed with it, watching all the episodes (whether in English or Japanese), allowing her mind to be bombarded with fan theories, the official English anime, fanfiction, and, of course, the character songs. One of these songs quickly became one of her favorites: Romano's character song, the Delicious Tomato Song.
Getting the bread out from the cabinet, Genna's urge to mutilate her sister slowly vanished as she remembered all the times that her sister would randomly grin or snicker when she saw or heard of the popular red food. At one point, she had even said that every time she heard the song or saw a tomato, she'd recite the first few lines of said song.
So far, she'd made good on her statement, even though she was no longer a part of the fandom.
As Genna made her sandwich, she let her mind wander to the 'gift' she had gotten her sister...
-Earlier in the school day-
Genna was sitting in 8th period Science, completely and utterly bored. Because it was the last day of school, their teacher had let the students have a study hall. This left her with nothing to do.
So, like a normal American teen, she pulled out her iPhone and got on the Internet.
However, unlike a normal American teen, she wasn't headed to Instagram or Twitter or whatever the hell normal teenagers do on the internet these days*.
Recently, her sister, Midori Florez, had gotten her into anime.
It had only started out as an attempt to get Genna to see it so she would get all of the references Midori made. It had fairly innocent intentions: she watches the anime and isn't bugged about it again until her sister gets into another fandom. She gets the references, and the two have laughs over said references and their brother's 'what-the-fuck-are-you-laughing-at' face.
...It ended up going a little farther than that.
Genna quickly started to like the fandom her sister wanted her to see first, Blue Exorcist.
It really ended up drawing her in, being one of the better anime in the community**. Soon enough, she and her sister were having Blue Exorcist marathons.
From then on, whenever Midori got into a new anime, she'd tell her sister, they'd watch a few episodes, and, if she liked it, they watched it together.
Most recently, they had found an anime called Fate/Zero. It was one of the better anime they had seen, and both sisters really liked it and were already far in the series.
Going onto Google, she searched Fate/Zero episode 22 in English. Then, finding her preferred anime site, raised her hand to click on the website.
...
Meanwhile, in another room, her sister was about to click the very same link.
In two separate classrooms, on two different devices, the two sisters tapped their screens, both at once.
If only they knew what would happen because of what they just did.
...
Genna's screen flashed black.
She blinked, confused.
"Wha...?" she murmured to herself, her bored brain catching up to the situation.
Staring at her black screen, she wondered what could've happened to her precious iPhone. What the heck's wrong with this thing? She wondered, examining the dark screen.
Suddenly, the once-blank was adorned with large, white letters, startling Genna.
What in holy hell is this?! She frantically thought to herself.
She watched in shock as the words (an ad of some sort, as she found out) kept flashing onto her screen, their startling white contrasting dramatically with the pitch-black background.
However, as the ad progressed, she began to become more and more intrigued to what it was advertising. Once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? She thought eagerly, now disregarding her earlier concerns.
Unlike her sister, Genna wasn't all too worried about viruses. She had firewalls to help with that. Actually, she had won quite a few prizes in the past because of ads, including a free iPod Touch, among other things. Hoping that this would be another opportunity at winning something, the brunette girl continued to watch the ad, becoming more and more interested its product as it continued.
And then, those three life-changing words popped onto the screen.
Free Hetalia Units? Genna thought in surprise. It had been a long time since she had heard of anything Hetalia-related. But, if memory serves, Midori still liked it, even though she was no longer in the fandom. There was also the issue of Genna not yet having gotten her sister a present, with her birthday coming up in a week or so, give or take a couple of days.
"Hmm..." Genna hummed, an idea quickly forming in her head.
A small grin worked its way onto her lips as she reached her finger towards her little screen...
-LineeniL-
Chapter One, done!
This chapter has 3,079 words.
* 'Whatever the hell normal teens do these days'. I have no idea that they do. I should know, but I don't.
** 'One of the better anime in the community'. In my opinion, it is. I'm not entirely sure how it ranks in the eyes of the actual community.
Thanks for reading! Review to say if I should keep this going. If you don't, I'll probably just end up forgetting about this for a while, then remember and work on it, then forget again, etc., etc., etc. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if that happened.
Also, I'm working on new chapters for both Let the Games Begin and PokéTalia. I'm not dead yet!
Well, grazie and sayōnara!
–Jade.