My dear friend Narwhal92648 and I wrote yet another fic. This one is just... I don't even know. Very short, though.
All things owned by CP Coulter and Ryan Murphy
Today, there would be an intervention. But wait, not just any intervention; a Tweedlevention. This decision was made by the twins Ethan and Evan Brightman, and soon their plan was perfected and put into action.
Said plan resulted in one Kurt Hummel sitting on the couch in the twins' dormitory at Dalton Academy for Boys, wrists and ankles bound to prevent any escape.
"Okay, ha ha, you caught me," the prisoner said sarcastically. "Would you let me go now?"
"I'm afraid we can't do that, Alice," one twin-Ethan, he thought-said.
"You see, we've got you here under very serious circumstances," the other said.
Kurt began to worry. These kinds of things never turned out very well for the victim when it came to Ethan and Evan. "And that would be...?" the countertenor asked, even though he was afraid of the answer.
"You see, we understand that you and-"
"The White Rabbit have been serious for quite some time and-"
"We thought we might be able to be of a little..."
"Help," the pair finished together.
"I'm not sure I like where this is going," Kurt said. His statement was ignored.
"We're sure you understand, dearest Alice, that there are certain... intimacies involved in a serious relationship," Ethan stated.
"And we believe that-"
"Please tell me you're not trying to give me a sex talk," Kurt raised his eyebrows in shock and a dark pink covered his features.
"Oh no, I wouldn't call it a 'sex talk,' really," Evan laughed, reaching into the large closet and pulling out a large easel, and over-sized notepad adorning the frame.
The first page was decorated in big, rainbow, bubble letters that read: "ETHAN AND EVAN'S GREAT GUIDE TO GREAT GAY SEX."
"Oh no. No, no, no, no. I am not having you two twins try to teach me about gay sex," Kurt protested as he pulled at the restraints around his wrists. After the rope started giving his sensitive skin a burn, he slumped back against the couch, noting that the knots were really, really tight, and his attempts were most likely futile.
"But, you see, Alice..."
"You don't have a choice." The twins smiled identical Cheshire cat grins.
"I will make you three batches of cookies to keep for yourself if you let me go," Kurt bribed.
"As tempting as that is-"
"We really can't."
Damn.
"There's nothing I can do? Nothing at all?"
"Nope," the twins chorused. Kurt sighed.
"Ugh, fine." The countertenor settled against the couch cushions, attempting to get comfortable. Ethan and Evan smiled their identical smiles and flipped the page. The new one donned the word 'Handjobs.' Oh, God... Kurt would have facepalmed had he had proper control over his hands.
The junior did his best to block out the Tweedles whiled they pattered on and on about licking palms and friction, praying to the God he didn't believe in for someone to save him.
"Alice, are you even listening to us?" the twin on the right asked.
"This is important information, and if you want to ever please the White Rabbit, you should listen," the twin on the left interjected.
"Are you speaking from personal experience, boys? And I'm trying my best not to." Speak of the devil.
Right then, said White Rabbit walked through the door without knocking, distractedly looking down at his phone.
"Hey, have you guys seen-oh."
"Please, please save me," Kurt begged, pulling against the ropes again.
"Uhm..."
Before Blaine could do anything, the twins shared a look, and next thing Kurt and Blaine knew, they were sitting side-by-side on the sofa, equally bound to their places.
The two shared an exasperated look. Yeah, they were in for the long haul.
asdfghjkl Yeah.