A/N: This takes place after the episode 'Top Secret'. There are small spoilers for that episode in this story. Possibly slashy, depending on how serious you think House is in this story. I leave that up for your interpretation.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
House leaned casually in the doorway of Wilson's office. "I'm very busy. Go bother someone else." Wilson says, not looking up from his paperwork.
House smiles, instead of leaving he closes the door. He takes a seat across from Wilson. "That's funny, I thought I said 'Go bother someone else.' and not 'sit down and stare at me." Wilson looks up and notice House's smile. "What are you smiling about?"
"Yes, Jimmy, I've had a very nice day. Thank you for asking." House says as he starts to twirl his cane.
"You look happy. I'm scared..." Wilson says, closing the file he was looking at. He knew he wouldn't accomplish anything else with House around.
"Aren't you the one always going on about how I should stop being miserable?" House asks, sounding cheerful.
Wilson pinches the bridge of his nose, "Why do I suddenly have this feeling of impending doom? There's someone out there crying, isn't there? Who did you make cry today?"
House paused his twirling. He frowned, looking thoughtful. "I don't think I made anyone cry today... did I?" He looks out the window as he ponders this.
"Stop plotting. You don't have to make people cry every day. Anyway, what were you so happy about?" Wilson asks. He had to admit, he was curious.
"Oh, that!" House says excitedly. He lets his cane fall from his hand and leans forward. "Well, I was bored the other day and decided to place a hidden camera in the conference room. I think it's better to know what they say when I'm not around. This way, I can reference things from their 'private' conversations. Really creep them out. Besides..."
Wilson interupts. "Wait, you're really spying on them? Do you realize how unethical that is?"
House waves his hand dismissively. "That's besides the point. It paid off today."
Wilson looks curious and waits for House to continue. After a minute House still hadn't said anything. Wilson sighs and rolls his eyes. "And you found out... what exactly?"
House smiles. "I overheard a very interesting conversation. Foreman was trying to figure out why Chase and Cameron keep acting weird. So, Cameron admits that she's sleeping with Chase, knowing that Foreman won't believe it. To this, Foreman replies, 'House would do Wilson before you'd do Chase.'"
Wilson nods. "Fascinating... And this has you giddy?"
"I find it fascinating that they think it's more probable for me to jump you than it is for Cameron to sleep with Chase again. Foreman's views made more interesting by the fact that Cameron has been having sex with Chase all over this hospital." House says nonchalantly.
Wilson's jaw drops in shock. "Your kidding. In the hospital?"
House nods. "I just caught them fooling around in the janitor's closet."
"What were you doing in the janitor's closet?" Wilson asks.
"A little birdie told me they were in there. I just wanted to mess with them." House says, sounding amused.
Wilson laughs. "This might be a new low for you. Ruining other people's sex lives because you're not getting any."
"According to Foreman's calculations, I should be." House says with a smirk.
Wilson looks serious. "You are kidding, aren't you?"
House shrugs and picks up his cane. He stands up and says nonchalantly, "I could go all math geek on you and explain all the calculations proving it's inevitable, but I know you hate that. I'll just say that if you happen to come over tonight with a case of beer, it's probable that I'll get drunk and let you have your way with me."
Wilson looks shocked, which makes House laugh. House heads for the door and pauses with his hand on the doorknob. He turns back to Wilson. "Cameron told Foreman that he'd do both me and you before she does Chase..."
Wilson laughs. "That can't be taken into consideration. She knew she was sleeping with Chase before making that statement. She had a motive with that statement. Math doesn't have motive."
House laughs, "I was just checking. See you tonight." He says before leaving.