Author's Notes: The original idea of Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual series belongs to Teresa Green. I've written a few of these for Gundam SEED characters, and now, I'm invading the Gundam 00 universe XD
Oh yeah, may contain some spoilers up to ep 3 of Season 2 of Gundam 00 (nothing specific, just references), it's mostly Season 1 Setsuna. Also, there are a few references to the Drama CD.
Enjoy!
SETSUNA F. SEIEI: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Gundam-baka, please pay close attention to the following instructions:
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Basic Information
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Name: Setsuna F. Seiei (a.k.a. Gundam Meister, Soran Ibrahim, Kamal Majirif, Setsuna F. Exia, Gundam-baka, Gundam)
Date of Manufacture: 7 April, AD 2291
Place of Manufacture: Earth, Republic of Krugis
Genetic Type: Human (Gundam)
Height: 162 cm
Weight: Classified, but pretty light
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Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit will come with the following accessories:
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One (1) blue Celestial Being-issued pilot suit with helmet
One (1) red scarf
One (1) set of civilian clothes, to blend in
One (1) handgun
One (1) GN-001 EXIA GUNDAM
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Please note that the new CELESTIAL BEING uniform is not included. You'd have to wait 4 years for CELESTIAL BEING to find your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit and give him the uniform. More civilian clothing are available in our online catalog. The GN-0000 OO GUNDAM is also not included; contact IAN VASHTI after the EXIA is almost destroyed.
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Programming:
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The SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit is pretty stoic and kind of wrapped up in his own world and beliefs. But he's also pretty versatile and comes with a variety of programming. He's generally good at doing what you tell him to, as long as it goes along with his beliefs. If you ever have trouble getting him to obey you, tell him it's for the sake of changing the world, or give him Gunpla, and he'll will obey with no problems.
PILOT: The SETSUNA F. SEIEI's obsession with GUNDAM is perfect for him to be a pilot. He can pilot GUNDAMs with to his will and desire to become GUNDAM. Just don't tell him do anything evil or bad, he might turn on you for "distorting the world"
BODYGUARD/MERCENARY: The SETSUNA F. SEIEI has fairly good combat skills, being a brainwashed child guerilla and all. He'd even shoot his own mother. However, we don't recommend giving him that command, as it will emotionally scar him for life, and he'll view you as a distortion that needs to be eliminated.
UNDERCOVER AGENT: Need to complete a mission but fear you'll stand out too much? Don't worry, let the SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit go undercover for you! Despite his looks, he's actually a pretty good actor, and can pretend to be innocent and fit into the crowd. However, do note that he might take out his gun in the middle of the street and end up being caught by police. When this happens, get a MARINA ISMAIL unit to bail him out. Just don't blame us when your SETSUNA F. SEIEI ends up blowing his cover and revealing confidential information to MARINA ISMAIL.
KIDNAPPER: Need to retrieve someone or get them to join your cause? Does that person not want to come with you? Not to worry, let the SETSUNA F. SEIEI take care of it. He'll resort to any means to retrieve that person for you, whether that person likes it or not.
RELIGION REPELLENT: Are you sick of those people who go door to door trying to get you to join their religion? Or those people who randomly hand out pamphlets and explain their religion and tells you you're going to Hell if you don't believe? Worry no more! When one of those people tries to approach you, just get the SETSUNA F. SEIEI to talk to them. He'll scare them away in mere moments with his constant talk of there being no God in this world, and they'll cease bothering you!
BOYFRIEND/COMPANION: The SETSUNA F. SEIEI has the emotional awareness of a brick. However, if you ever need to pretend to have a boyfriend to show off, or if you need some company (you're so desperate that it doesn't matter who, anyone will do) cheering up your girlfriend/friend, the SETSUNA F. SEIEI is perfect. He doesn't care, as long as you bring him leftovers or a Gunpla in exchange to keep him happy. Warning: DO NOT try to kiss him, especially out of the blue, or he will FALCON PUNCH ™ you and hate you forever.
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Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI has four (4) different settings:
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Gundam-baka/Setsuna F. Exia (Default Setting)
Acting Innocent
Philosophical (Locked)
Angry (Locked)
Unit is by default set to Gundam-baka/Setsuna F. Exia. In this setting, unit will constantly want to become Gundam and thinks he's Gundam, and as Gundam, he will correct the distortions in the world and eliminating the wrongs. Acting Innocent setting will be activated when the UNDERCOVER AGENT program is running. Philosophical mode is unlocked when unit is musing about the state of the world after witnessing some horrible event, after confronting an ALI AL-SAACHEZ unit, or discussing it with a MARINA ISMAIL unit. The Angry mode is unlocked during fights, encounters with ALI AL-SAACHEZ, or after a horrific event. Usually the Angry mode preludes of follows the Philosophical mode.
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Relations with other units:
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Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit seems disinterested in other units at first, but continuous interactions with friendly units will cause him to warm up a bit. Though he is still wary of certain units, and romantic feelings will still be foreign to him.
LOCKON STRATOS: The SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit looks up to this unit as an older-brother figure. The LOCKON STRATOS looks out for your unit, like ordering milk for your SETSUNA F. SEIEI, cut his hair, disciplining him, and keeping him in line. At some point, this unit may be angry at your SETSUNA F. SEIEI and may seem to want to kill him. But don't worry, the LOCKON STRATOS will forgive SETSUNA F. SEIEI because he's such a Gundam-baka, and won't do any serious damage to him. Slight caution: if this unit is destroyed, your SETSUNA F. SEIEI will go into Angry mode, and be quite angry for a while afterwards.
TIERIA ERDE: This unit gets rather angry at your SETSUNA F. SEIEI for revealing top-secret information, and doesn't think the SETSUNA F. SEIEI is fit to be a Gundam Meister. Give them some time to bond, and in time, this unit will become friendly to your SETSUNA F. SEIEI, and the two will eventually even call each other by first names only.
MARINA ISMAIL: Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI will want to go into Philosophical mode when with this unit. This unit is also useful in bailing out your SETSUNA F. SEIEI if he's ever stopped by police for pulling out a gun in the middle of the road. Do not be alarmed if your SETSUNA F. SEIEI enters her bedroom in the middle of the night; he doesn't intend to do anything other than discuss the state of the world, since his emotional and romantic awareness is in the negative zone.
ALI AL-SAACHEZ: WARNING: encounters with this unit must always be with approached with caution!! This is NOT a friendly unit for your SETSUNA F. SEIEI! Neither unit likes the other, and they will end up fighting. Encounters with this unit will unlock SETSUNA F. SEIEI's Angry mode. So avoid interaction if possible. We are not responsible for any resulting damages to either units.
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Other unit interactions:
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ALLELUJAH HAPTISM: A friendly unit to your SETSUNA F. SEIEI, they get along fairly well. This unit will work together with your unit to eradicate warfare.
NENA TRINITY: This unit will try to kiss your SETSUNA F. SEIEI out of the blue, which will surprise and disgust your SETSUNA F. SEIEI. He will automatically give her a FALCON PUNCH ™ and push her away. Do NOT try to get them to have any kind of romantic relationship, as SETSUNA F. SEIEI does not like this unit, and he will end up hating you if you try to set them up.
GRAHAM AKER/MISTER BUSHIDO: Please keep your SETSUNA F. SEIEI away from this unit if at all possible! This unit believes that he and your SETSUNA F. SEIEI are tied together by the red string of fate, and want to constantly challenge your SETSUNA F. SEIEI, and even possibly molest him. If you want the best for your SETSUNA F. SEIEI, keep him away!
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Cleaning:
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The SETSUNA F. SEIEI is more than capable of cleaning himself. Even though he's not very emotionally sensitive, he still prefers you not to clean him as he values his decency. If you forcefully try to clean him, you might end up with bullets in your head as he might mistaken you ask taking advantage of him. You could try to knock him out in order to clean him, although not recommended, as his hard head makes him hard to knock out, and you might end up being the one knocked out and hurt (do not blame us, as you signed the waiver during purchase). If for some reason he is incapable of cleaning himself, remember, do not machine-wash; towel-dry only, do not tumble dry. Unit may be dry-cleaned.
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Energy:
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Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit is a growing boy, and therefore needs lots of food to give him energy. Feed him thrice daily, and give him lots of milk for his growing body and build strong bones.
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Frequently Asked Questions:
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Q: H-Help! I was running my SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit in his UNDERCOVER AGENT program, and all was going well, he was blending in fine, but then somehow, he's about to be molested by a "Hamu-Sensei"! What do I do? I don't want my SETSUNA F. SEIEI to be violated by some pervert!
A: Quick! Get a LOCKON STRATOS unit to barge in and interrupt them! The LOCKON STRATOS should be able to bail out your SETSUNA F. SEIEI. Afterwards, please keep your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit as far away from any GRAHAM AKER or MISTER BUSHIDO units as possible.
Q: Oh great! My SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit just revealed his identity while going undercover. I'm angry, but I'm afraid he might hurt me if I try to lecture him.
A: There's a known bug in the SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit's programming that causes him to reveal his identity to random people even though it's top-secret. Just get a LOCKON STRATOS unit to punch him and knock some sense into him. Or, if that's not enough, get a TIERIA ERDE unit to shoot him in the back (or threaten to).
Q: My SETSUNA F. SEIEI keeps on saying that he's Gundam. I thought he was a humanoid unit…
A: It's okay, he is a humanoid unit. For some reason, he thinks he is Gundam due to his default Gundam-baka/Setsuna F. Exia setting. It's nothing to worry about. He won't try to fly away or try to operate as a Gundam or anything. Really.
Q: Oh no, my SETSUNA F. SEIEI's EXIA just exploded when battling in a huge and pretty explosion, is he alright? I'm hearing a MARINA ISMAIL unit reading a letter that says "by the time you read this, I'm probably dead"… Is he gone?!
A: It's okay, your SETSUNA F. SEIEI may be damaged, but he's build tough. And he has strong will to live. Just wait a few (4) years, he'll show up again (all grown up and more handsome) when there's a big conflict involving some A-LAWS people, or just any conflict that will distort the world.
Q: Why is this unit's name "SETSUNA F. SEIEI"? What a strange name! And what does the "F" stand for?
A: Actually, "SETSUNA F. SEIEI" is a code name. If you really think it's strange, feel free to give him a new name. However, it's not guaranteed he'll answer to the name you give him, as he's not a dog. He might answer to names like "Gundam" or "Setsuna F. Exia" or "Exia". As for the initial, we're not sure what it stands for, it just sounds nice. If you really want, you could try calling him "Setsuna G. Seiei" where the G stands for "Gundam".
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Troubleshooting:
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Problem: Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit is constantly crying out "Gundam… Gundam… GUNDAMU!!!" while reaching his hand out as if trying to grab something, and then muttering something about him not being able to become Gundam. You're afraid he's broken, or you're just really annoyed.
Solution: That's just his default Gundam-baka setting. You'll probably never get the word "Gundam" out of his vocabulary. You could stop him temporarily by giving him some Gunpla and reassuring him that he is Gundam. If it really bothers you that much, maybe you shouldn't have gotten a SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit.
Problem: Your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit is missing for a few days, and the EXIA isn't found either. You're worried he ran away.
Solution: Don't worry, the SETSUNA F. SEIEI likes to go places randomly and take detours to Azadistan. Give him some freedom, he'll return in time when you need him.
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With proper care and maintenance, your SETSUNA F. SEIEI unit will lead a long and happy life, and may even become GUNDAM one day, if that's what you want. He's rather good at surviving, so don't worry too much about him. And as long as you don't bring too much conflict to the world and incite war, he'll be a loyal friend.
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A.N. Phew, that turned out longer than I thought, Setsuna is just soooo much fun to make fun of. Not sure if I have time/inspiration to do it for the other characters, so feel free to write your own, just let me know so I can read it =D
Also, please don't take offense at the "Religion repellent" section; I just wanted to make fun of Setsuna's "there is no God" line, no harm intended.