Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any relatedness. Frankly, I think it's for the best…things could've been really screwed up. Oh, and I don't own the song either.
Author Notes: I personally don't like this couple, the first couple that is. I think it's kind of weird…it's just that ever time I hear this blasted song, I think of this story and I'm hoping that this will get it out of my system…and I hate the ending…I wished I didn't end it like that but that's how it came out…
P.S. I also thought 'That Kind of Love' or 'More then just Friends' would've made a good title, but since 'Follow Me' is the song name, it's staying.
P.S.S. I don't exactly remember how old Harry was when his parents died, so I'm making him a different age so my story goes along better. March 26th, 2007
Follow Me
-Uncle Kracker
You don't know how you met me
You don't know why…
We meet in our first year of Hogwarts. I was standing on the platform and my parents were worrying over me. I glanced around, looking at all the other wizards and witches who were boarding the Hogwarts Express. That's when I got my first glance of you. Your parents and a little version of you were talking to you in a serious manner and you were rolling your eyes and nodding. I watched you and ignored what my parents were saying, though I was nodding and agreeing, telling them not to worry.
You must have felt me stare because you glanced my way and looked at me oddly. Suddenly, you gave me a smirk and I turned away with a blush.
"James, darling, are you alright?" my mother said. "You're not coming down with a fever are you?" She placed her hand on my head.
"No mom." I said with a roll of my eyes. "I got to get going. Don't worry mum…dad. I'll write and you'll know if anything goes wrong at Hogwarts. You're in with the Headmaster aren't you?"
My father smiled and patted me on the head. "See at Christmas Jamie."
My mother nodded and gave a watery smile. "Oh, I'm going to miss you my little boy!" She tackled me around the shoulders.
"MUM! STOP IT!" I said, trying to struggle away. Finally my dad dragged her away and I made a run for the train.
When I was there and a safe distance away, I waved. "BYE!" They waved back and I saw my mother hug my dad before I got on.
I dragged my suitcase behind me as I tried to find a compartment that wasn't full or one that had some friendly looking people in it. It was about my tenth compartment when I opened it to see that there was practically no one there…there was only one person and that person just happened to be you…
You can't turn around and say goodbye…
You had black hair like me, but yours was longer, and you had the school uniform on. Most people didn't have those one till later, but I figured your parents must have forced you to wear it. I could see that you were tanned, as if you played outside a lot…just like me. You must have felt me staring again, because you turned around from the window you were looking out to look at me instead. You had blue eyes…not just any blue eyes, but ice blue, bright eyes.
You gave me that odd look again before flashing me a smile. "Hullo. You going to come in?"
I nodded and dragged my suitcase in. As I levitated it (don't ask why I didn't do that before…I must have been flustered or something…) and wondered if you realized that I was the one who was staring at you before.
I turned around and sat across from you. You smiled that bright smile and stuck your hand out towards me. "Hi, I'm Sirius Black and I'm a boy."
That confused me but I took your hand, felt your body heat briefly go up my arm, and shook it. "I'm James Potter and I'm a boy too."
"Oh." You smiled and laughed at the look I was giving you. Your laugh was nice. "I'm sorry; you didn't have to say that. I knew you were a boy…I was just making sure you knew I was. I occasionally get confused for a girl."
"Oh…" I didn't know what you were getting at.
You rolled your eyes. "Well, you were staring at me and I was just making sure you knew you were gawking at a boy."
My eyes widened. I hoped you hadn't caught on that it was me both times. "Um…I'm sorry."
You waved your hand at me in a dismissive way. "No big deal." You smiled brightly again. "So, what house do you want to get into?"
"I like Gryffindor…" I said. "I wouldn't mind any house though as long as it wasn't..."
"Slytherin." We both said at the same time. I looked surprised. I knew the name Black. Black's were practically destined to be in Slytherin.
You laughed again. "I know, I know. Black's are supposed to want to be in Slytherin, but thankfully I'm not anything like my family."
I opened my mouth to reply to that but you glanced at the door and waved. "Hi there! You want to sit here too?"
I turned to see two other people standing at the door. One of the boys had short auburn hair, slightly pale and amber eyes. The other was shorter; kind of chunky with sandy blonde hair and pale blue eyes…eyes that looked nothing likes yours.
The auburn haired one smiled tentatively and nodded. They both came in and levitated their baggage. They sat down and looked at us. "I'm Remus Lupin." The amber eyed boy said.
"And I'm Peter Pettigrew." The sandy blonde one said softly.
You smiled brightly. "I'm Sirius Black and this here if James Potter. We both want to get into Gryffindor. How about you two?"
They both said that would like almost any house, but Gryffindor was their top choice. We started talking as the train took off and we became comfortable around each other.
You bought us candy off the cart, saying it was your treat. It wasn't exactly then, but I decided that I wanted to be near you. I hoped we'd both get the same house and we could be great friends…
All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free…
We all got in the same house. You, me, Remus and Peter. We were the only ones to be in the Gryffindor for boys, though five girls got in also. You said it was fate for all of us to be in here together.
That first year was great. We caused lots of mischief, much to the disappointment of my parents, but it was fun. We did pranks…grand pranks that they all talked about for weeks till the next one came along. It was great to be around you and the other two weren't so bad. Remus was quiet and got sick a lot and Peter was just slightly behind us, but we all got along pretty well.
I always knew I liked to cause mischief, but you made it come out more. You even got the other two to do it, even though they both said no at first. It was like you made us free to do what we want with out worry of consequences…
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singin'…
I guess the feeling that I belonged to you and you belonged to me was from the first time I saw you. I never really understood this need to be around you constantly but all I knew was that whenever I was around you, you made me feel…well, more alive, like it was you I had been born for. I never thought I'd like guys and I didn't…I just liked you…you were the only guy that made me feel like this. That's why I decided I needed someone else. That's when I decided to pursue Lily Evans, another fellow same year Gryffindor.
It had been second year when I decided on Evans, much to her dislike. She refused me every time I asked her out. She said I was to immature and funny looking. I could deal with the immature bit, but funny looking? All twelve years olds are funny looking.
You were by my side as I tried to win Evans. All through the years I tried to get her. It was during the fifth year that you started to act differently…
Follow me, everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night…
You were the person I always came to when I had a problem, especially when Evans was involved. You would be the one to hug me, pat my back and tell me that everything is alright. You said that you would never leave me, that you would always be there for me. Like I said, that was till fifth year.
You started to get cranky whenever I started talking about Lily. If any of us asked you what's wrong, you would just glance at me and get distance, saying it was nothing. I knew it wasn't nothing. I tried to get you to talk, but you refused.
It was one night when both Remus and Peter were in the hospital wing, Remus for recuperation for his transformation and Peter because he had one nasty cold and we didn't want to get sick.
Lily had just shattered my heart again. I know, I say that almost every time, but I have gotten better at protecting my heart from what she says, but it was just this time, with her being mean and you just not seeming to care, that I broke.
I curled up on my bed and sobbed. I mean, really sobbed. It was the sobbing that seems like you're crying up both your heart and your stomach…the kind where it felt like your world had ended.
I don't know how long you must have stood there and watched, but I suddenly felt you sit beside me and put your arms around me.
"I'm sorry Prongs." You said softly.
I didn't want to hear it. I tried to pull away but you just tightened your grip. "Leave me alone Black." I snapped. I felt you wince. You knew I was mad when I used your last name like that.
"Prongs, just look at me, please? I want to apologize."
"The only way I'll accept is if you give me a really good goddamn reason Black! You've been a royal prick I hope you know! I know that you must get sick of me talking about Lily, but you promised to always be there for me and where have you been!? I don't even bloody know…" I broke out in another painful sob then.
I felt you tighten your grip but you didn't do anything for a few moments. I suddenly felt you lean closer. I didn't know what you were doing. I was surprised when I felt you place a kiss on my cheek. I was even more surprised when you continued to place butterfly soft kisses up my cheek and to my ear. I was so surprised that I even stopped crying.
You pulled away from me with a sigh and placed your head on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry James…I was…just so sick of you always talking about her. I mean, you seemed to ignore everything else…even me. I just got so jealous…I…do really love you a lot James…"
"Love?" I asked softly. This didn't seem like the brotherly love you were always confessing to us.
You nodded. "Yeah James…love. Not even the brotherly love I have for Remus and Peter…for you, it's a different kind of love…"
"A kind of love that you know you can't live without that person…that you know were meant for them and they were meant for you?" I asked softly, my eyes widening. Did he feel the same way for me that I felt for him?
I felt you pull away and I felt you staring at me. "Yeah…that kind of love."
You continued to stare at me and I slowly turned my head to look into your eyes. They were wide and as bright blue as ever. I felt a smile tug at me lips. You looked cute like that…you rarely ever looked surprised like that.
Suddenly you blinked, like you were coming out of a daze. You smiled brightly and I felt myself blush. You leaned in close and put your lips on mine.
Yours were soft, while I knew mine were definitely chapped. You pushed me back softly and straddled my hips as I lay down all the way. I put my arms around your neck to make sure you wouldn't escape. We were chest to chest and you're arms were on either side of me. I knew being around you made my body sing, but this was definitely different…it was definitely better.
You traced your tongue around my lips and I didn't hesitate to open up. I felt your tongue snake into my mouth and trace every part of it. After you explored a bit, you managed to coax mine into yours, not that it needed much.
We were both good Quidditch players, but even we had our limits. We broke apart to breathe, you staring down at me with wide ice blue eyes and a grin, and I stared up at you with wide hazel eyes and just as small a grin. We were both panting.
Suddenly, I was over come with exhaustion. I had been busy today, riding my broom trying to relieve some of my anger and sadness, and sobbing earlier didn't help. I yawned, long and loud.
Your eyes widened and you burst into laughter. I glared at you and pushed you off my chest. You lay beside me as you continued to laugh. I turned away to look at the other side of my bed.
"James, James, I'm so sorry." You said as you sat up to look at me. "You just caught me be surprise." I muttered something incoherent and you continued to chuckle. You leaned close and placed a kiss on my temple. "I think you should go to sleep." I wasn't about to argue.
You got out of bed and pulled the covers over me. I rolled back over to look at you as you leaned over, tucking me in. You smiled sweetly as your hair fell in your face, making you look devilish. You placed a kiss on my forehead, my nose, and then my lips. We looked into each other eyes as I started to give into my exhaustion. You smiled softly. "I love you James."
"I love you too, Sirius…"
And if you want to leave, I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me…
It was a few days later that we became what some would call 'secret lovers' and others would call 'friends with benefits'. I prefer the term 'more then just friends'. No one knew, not even Peter and Remus, though we suspected that Remus had figured out, not that he said anything. It was just the looks he gave us. It was definitely his werewolf instincts kicking in.
Even though we were now more then just friends, we didn't stop pursuing others, though only those of the opposite gender, even though I knew you liked other boys too. And that was just it…we liked them. We never fell in love with any of the others.
Truthfully, I only still wanted Lily, though I had come to terms that she didn't want me. We continued to be more then friends through the rest of school. Though I finally started dating Lily in sixth year. I guess she decided I wasn't immature or funny looking anymore.
I had both you and Lily, not that she ever knew. You were slightly jealous of her, seeing as you had half my heart and she had the other, though you liked to say you had more then half, not that I could disagree with that statement.
Me and Lily continued to date after graduation as we went to learn how to be Aurora's. I was busy with Lily and worked and you were busy learning whatever you wanted to learn at the moment in your life, but we still managed to find time for each other. That was till I proposed to Lily and she said yes. Everyone congratulated us, even you. You even agreed to be my Man of Honor.
You didn't act differently towards me in front of others, but when we were alone, you did, that is, if I even got you alone with me. You always seemed busy and when I did manage to corner you, you didn't want to talk about it. That's all I wanted…to talk. I figured we had to stop being more then just friends, but you didn't want to talk about it. That was till the day of the wedding.
You, me, Remus and Peter were all getting changed and ready for the wedding. I was distracted, making sure that my tie was right, so I didn't notice that everyone left…except you.
Suddenly I felt arms go around my waist and I looked up into the mirror to see you leaning you head on my shoulder. I watched you pull my hands away from my tie and you started to tie it yourself. When it was tied, you moved your hands down around my waist, pulling my back closer to you. You started to nibble on my throat and I moved it to give you more access without even thinking about it.
"Sirius…" I said with a slight moan. I knew I had to move away, but my body was definitely not responding. "You're going to have to stop…"
"Why?" You asked against my throat as you moved up to nibble on my earlobe.
I tried to keep my brain from getting distracted. "Because…I'm about to get…married."
You smirked and bit especially hard on my throat. I prayed you wouldn't leave a mark. "So?"
"Ugh…" I muttered as he continued to distract me with my throat. "I'm going to be…committed."
"Nobody ever listens to those vows…there more like guidelines." You said as you moved one of your hands downwards.
I jumped as your hand brushed the front of my pants. I grab that hand with one of mine. "Sirius…"
"Yes?"
I pull away then. I turned to look at you. "Not now…"
You raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to me, whispering in my ear. "But not never?"
I wanted to say, 'No, we can't do this anymore.', but instead I nodded. "Yes, not never."
I felt you smirk on my throat and kiss it. You pulled away and smiled at me. "Good then." You started to walk away and got to the door before you turned around. You smirked. "You may want to cover up that hickey before you go out." And with that, you left the room…
I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows, then nobody can care…
The wedding went great. Everything was as planned and it was perfect. We moved into this nice house and we decided to start a family. About eleven months after the wedding we had him. He was a beautiful baby boy with my looks and Lily's eyes. We named him Harry James Potter and we hoped in three years to have a girl and name her Elizabeth Lily. We named you godfather. You were ecstatic to have that title. You watched over baby Harry as me and Lily went on the Aurora and Order of the Phoenix business, which you also happened to be a part of.
You weren't kidding about 'not never'. I thought maybe you said that just because you didn't want to give me up. I would never leave you and you knew that, but we still were more then just friends, even through Lily's pregnancy. No one knew…I don't even think Remus thought we were still more then just friends.
There was this one time when Harry was about ten months old and he happened not to be feeling well. Lily decided that she would go to work and I would stay home to watch him. She kissed me good-bye and kissed baby Harry in his play pen. We were in the living room and she said good-bye and love you to both of us before she disappeared in the green flames.
I leaned back on the couch I was sitting on and turned my head to look at Harry, who was looking at me with wide, green eyes. "Da-Da." I felt a wave of guilt then. It was looking at Harry that I felt I shouldn't be cheating on his mother with you.
Suddenly, Harry's eyes went wide and he smiled. "Pa-dy." He gurgled out happily and I turned my eyes to see you leaning on the doorframe that connected the living with the kitchen, which happened to have a back door that you had the keys to.
You smiled. "Hullo there Prongsiedoo." I smiled weakly. You rolled your eyes and walked into the living room. I thought you were going to come to me, but you went to Harry. You picked him out of the play pen and held him high in the air. "Hi there Harry! I heard that you weren't feeling well." Harry gurgled happily and you smiled. You then placed him on your left hip and dug through the pocket on your right. You pulled out a black dog stuffed animal. "Here you go Harry! It's a get well present." Harry took it into his small hands and hugged it. "His name is Snuffle's and he's kin, so be kind to him." Harry seemed to gurgle agreement, to which you laughed. "You're such a cutie, Harry!" You kissed him on the forehead and placed him back into the pen. It was times like these that I knew that you truly cared for my family.
I wasn't really paying attention to you, more intent on watching Harry play with his new toy, so I didn't notice you come near till you were straddling my lap. I looked up at you as you placed your hands on either side of my head.
"Sirius…" I said in a disapproving voice.
You smirked and proceeded to kiss me. It wasn't long before I was wrapping my arms around you and pulling you closer. Your chest was squished to mine as you ran you hands softly done my arms, ending at my hands and intertwining our fingers. We broke the kiss and looked at each other. You started to play with the ring on my finger. I narrowed my eyes at you. You just continued to smirk at you brought my right hand up and kissed the palm. You seemed like you enjoyed showing me that I was cheating on my wife.
"Sirius…"
You're feelin' guilty and I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed and baby, I'm not scared
I'm singin'…
"Hmm?" you said lazily as you leaned closer to kiss my throat. I once again moved so you could get better access.
"We really shouldn't be doing this…"
"And why's that Prongsiedoo?" you asked sweetly as you let go of my hands to unbutton my shirt, kissing my chest with each button you undid.
I dug my hands into your thighs as you tried to go lower on my chest. I didn't want you to move yet. "Because…the baby's here…"
That stop you for a moment and you sat up to look at me. Then you turned your gaze to Harry, who was sucking on a bottle and staring at us. You stuck your tongue out at him and he giggled. You turned back to me. "I don't think he's going to be tattling on us James."
I shook my head and you shook your head with a devilish smile. "Ah, but Jamesiepoo…he's just little…he doesn't care."
"But what about when he gets older? What if he remembers?" I couldn't stand the thought of my son not liking me because I cheated on his mother with his godfather.
You shrugged and leaned closer. "Well just have to be more careful when he gets older." You started to kiss me again as you hands wandered lower on my chest and that's all it really took to convince me that this was a good idea…
Follow me, everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me…
We continued to be together, but as time went on we became more discreet in front of Harry. He began to start saying full words and we were worried that he'd start talking about 'Da-Da' and 'Pa-dy' kissing. And that's when I started to really, truly wonder if this was a good idea at all…
Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why…
It was around when Harry was thirteen months when I wanted to talk to you about ending this. Harry was growing up and the war was getting worse. We needed to keep our focus on those, not us. I had these thoughts when you weren't around, but as soon as you smiled at me, those went away. I don't understand that…I never understood this feeling for you…and I don't think I ever truly will…
I'm not the reason that you go astray and
We'll be all right if you don't ask me to stay…
I managed to get us some time together one day. I wanted to talk about us. I don't think I could continue on lying to Lily. It was either tell her or we had to stop. I love you, you know I do, but I also love Lily. She deserves to know.
I waited for you. You would come soon, I knew you would. I heard footsteps and I turned to see you. You smiled at me and walked closer, stopping in front of me. We were in a secluded spot…and it was magically warded. If anyone came by, we would know. I watched you smirk as you pushed me against the wall, molded your body with mine. I wrapped my arms around your back as we started kissing.
Your hand was down my pants before I remembered why I called you here. "Sirius, please stop."
You stopped and looked at me in slight confusion. You must have thought I brought you here for sex since we haven't had it in a while. "What's the matter Prongs?"
I pulled out your hand…it was very distracting. "We need to talk."
You rolled your eyes. "You always say that…and nothing ever changes, does it?"
My eyes widened and I turned my gaze away. "No…"
"Then why do you worry so much?"
"Because I love her too Sirius." I said softly and turned my head to the side, away from your eyes.
I felt you look at me with your lovely blue eyes. I could never get enough of looking at your eyes. "I know you do James." You said seriously. "That's why you married the girl."
I winced. Did you always have to bring that up? "I know that, Sirius. And I love her…just as much as I love you…so I want her to know…I can't keep on lying to her…"
You rolled you eyes…seemed like a bad habit you've have since we meet. "James…" you said with a smile. "What are you going to tell her? We've been 'more then just friends' since fifth year? We were both practically in love with each other since we first met? That you've been seeing me behind her back ever since you were together? That you love us both?" You laughed and I felt stupid. How could I tell her any of that? "James, she's not going to understand. Especially not now…it would put to much stress on your life and we need both of you in tip-top shape for the war. Maybe you can tell her when it's less hectic."
I looked up at you in surprise. "'Tell her when it's less hectic'? You mean, you don't mind if she knows?"
You shook your head. "No, I'm not the one living with the woman…I'm not the one whose in love with her…I'm not the one to lose everything…because no matter what James, I still have you. I don't care if you don't want to see me ever again or you start to hate me because of what will happen between you and Lily, you will still be mine."
Right then, I knew
that I could never leave you…even if it meant leaving Lily. I
smiled at you. "Sirius, I could never hate you…I've loved you
even before Lily came into the picture…and you've loved way
before Lily ever did…you're my first love and nothing will stop
that." I leaned into you and wrapped my arms around you. "I
will always and truly love you Sirius."
You wrapped your arms
around me also. "I will always and truly love you too James…"
Follow me, everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me…
I still loved…love both your mother and your godfather. That's why when the war got worse and we had to go into hiding, we picked your godfather to be our Secret Keeper. I wished that we had kept him our secret keeper Harry. I knew that he would never give us up…he loved me so much and you too…even your mother he had come to love at least a little bit. I don't know why I let him convince me that Peter was a better person…I wished I never listened to him, because if I hadn't, I would still be with you Harry and you would probably have a couple of siblings…though I don't know if that part is true. I would have told your mother about me and Sirius when the war was over…but if the war lasted too much longer, I would've told anyways…she had the right to know. Harry, I love you, your mother and Sirius very much…I love Remus too…I wish he hadn't had to go through all this pain alone…Please forgive me…
Love,
James Harold Potter
P.S. If you wish, you may give Sirius the beginning of this letter, though the last bit is only for you.
Harry folded up the letter that a strange owl had delivered to him today. He had been sitting on his bed, reading up on some new DADA information so he would be prepared for the fall semester when the owl showed up. He had let him in, a pure white owl with gold eyes, and it dropped the letter on the bed, flying out the window at once. He had looked at the letter that had his name written in familiar handwriting. He didn't realize why it had looked familiar till he had starting reading it. As he continued reading it, he got…he didn't know how to describe this feeling. He thought maybe this letter had actually been meant for Sirius…till he got to the end. He couldn't believe this.
He was rereading it for a second time when his door opened and he looked up to see a familiar face…a face he wasn't sure he wanted to see right now.
"Harry?"
Harry looked at the man who was now about forty, but still had the long black hair, the ice blue, bright eyes that could take your breath away and the same bright smile. He may be older, but he was still the man in this letter. "Sirius…"
There are TWO endings.
First one is the original.
Second one is the alternate.
I was told the original had Harry being to calm, so I changed it.
Go read and see what happens.