Hey there... this may be similar to my former story "It's up to you, New York, New York" which I just deleted. Sorry but it just didn't feel right anymore and I didn't see any way I could turn it into making sense. I still like the idea of the story, though – so this story, too, is situated in season one and will treat of Jamie handling his first months as a rookie and the mystery about Joe's death and Sydney being a pest, and I'll still keep writing it from two perspectives (except for the prologue, lol), just that neither will be an OC.
So much for introduction, I hope I didn't scare away anybody by explaining too much. If you're still reading, you're awesome! Please don't stop and please tell me what you think about it!
Melissa
He was there again. Or was it a he? It's so easy to think about a man as the bad guy, but for all I know – but I don't know anything! I don't know who it is, or why he – "he" again, Lord help me – does it. I don't know.
All I know is that someone was in my house again. And it's worse than ever before. He's turned on the record player, and it's Rachmaninov. I haven't played Rachmaninov since my parents died.
I'm still standing in the hallway, and I know I won't be able to go in till the music's over. I can't, I just can't. Not now.
Tears fall down my cheeks, cold water on hot skin, burning from shame. I should be stronger than that. I lived through so much, I should really be stronger. Braver. I already lost my family, I can't lose my home, too. And I swear I'll never go back to that clinic. I'm a Samuels!
How could all of this happen?
It gets dark before I dare sit down on my own couch, in my own living room. It's quiet again, finally, and I can hear my breathing getting slower. Silence. In the first months after the plane crash I couldn't stand it because it reminded me so much of the deadly silence that answered my screams, but I've learnt to get over this by now.
Silence means loneliness, and being lonely isn't the worst thing to be. Lately it's being with other people that scares me.
So much that sometimes I don't dare leave the house, either.
You're going crazy. Face it, girl, you're going crazy. Nuts. Totally.
I'm halfway on my way of phoning Alec, but then – I can't. He's done so much for me, he's the only one I have left. And he's doing so well at going on with his life. He's stronger than I am. I don't want him to know how messed up I am.
So what I'm supposed to do? Call the police? I've never did that before. I – I didn't dare. And why would they believe me? There's nothing but that feeling, except for the music, and you can't really call that an attack, can you? Why would they believe me? They'll be the first to tell me I'm nuts.
And they've got more important things to do.
I'm gonna live through this alone. I can. I'm a Samuels, I'm gonna do this. I have to.