Hold On.

My mind was made up. Everything might be all mushed up from all my ranting but I knew one thing. This was my life. The life I hated from the begining. I mean I can't even stand myself never mind my own family. They just annoy the crap out of me, I have pratically no friends. But theres the guy next door. He might be older then me by 5 years but still, he came whenever I needed him. He never asked questions he would just help me out. He was a good, decent solid guy.

Pheft. Well thats until I started to fall for him.

I can't believe myself. I can't belive I let myself fall for him. Yeah he was a studd and all but he cared about me. He was possibly the only person that did. Maybe thats why I'm taking so freakin' long to do my duty. My duty of getting out of this flippin' hell hole.

Gosh, so why do I keep stalling. Is it because of him? It must be. I mean why else would I stop in a sudden idiotic postion?

What would he say if he seen me like this? Would he be angry, upset, hurt? Or would he be happy that he doesn't have to babysit me anymore?

I shook my head hard; trying to get the over powering thoughts out of my head: thoughts of him.

I reached my hand quite quickly towards the blade on the bathroom side...too quick if you ask me. A howl of pain raced out of my dry pink lips before I had the time to stop them.

I looked down at my finger; it had a slight cut; but it was quite deep for my liking. Well kinda the deeper the better right?

I inhaled a small breath, quite sharp actually before I made the shiny silver blade touch the paleness of my wrists. I gently stroked it up and down as I looked to where I wanted it to sink in.

I felt a good spot: it clearly hurt as I gently dabbed it with the blade; more like a great spot. A smile had already risen to my face as the blade sunk into my skin.

People always said it hurt, but trust me. When your going through my pain this was the easy way to let it out. It made me feel so good inside to finally let go of all the disappointments in one day.

Thats when I heard a small knock on the door and I turned my attention towards it. The blade still sinking in on my wrist. I ushered myself to the floor not knowing who was behind there. Thats when his husky voice spoke to me.

"Miles?" Awe, I love his pet name he had given me a few weeks ago. "Are you okay? I mean I knocked on the front door but nobody answered and it was unlocked so I thought you'd been burguled or something." I heard him chuckle to himself. He was clearly embarrased. My sight started to blur just then. What the hell? He knocked louder. "Miley? Are you okay?" His voice echoed through the bathroom; he'd clearly started to panick as the knocks got harder. "Miley?"

Thats when my blurring sight started to make me feel light headed. What the-I looked down to see the blood was gushing out. I had cut through a main artery in my wrist. I was too lost in my thoughts and his husky concerned voice to notice I'd gone too deep through my skin. Crap!

A shrilling scream soon left my dry lips as the blood gushed out more like a river this time; not wanting to stop anytime soon.

I heard him scream my name, but my energy started to slip out of me. I couldn't even talk properly. I heard him bang his broad shoulders against the wooden door and in one attempt the door swung to the floor infront of me.

"Miles?" His voice was soft, but his words were like he was so far away from me.

A small weak smile spread upon my lips as I saw a small glympse of his concerned, anxious face. Thats when his repeated screams got drowned out my head replaced my by the deaf sound and black nights.