My name is Kankri Vantas and I am a dead man. I am currently about to get beaten into a miserable pulp. "By who," you may be asking. The answer to that is none other than Meenah Pixies. The reason for such hostile actions can be explained by last night.

It was Sunday and it also happened to be one of Cronus' "guys night." I personally thought the notion of having one on a Sunday before school was something to be triggering towards certain people, but I went along anyway. "Guys night" consisted of Cronus, Kurlos, Mituna, Rufioh, Horuss, and myself. On "guys night" we'd get pizza, drink soda and just hang out on a hill near the mansions below it. The thing that differed about this particular hang out session was that I slipped on Mituna's skateboard and rolled down the somewhat steep hill. It was kind of a long tumble. When I finally stopped rolling I called Cronus to tell the guys I was alright. I couldn't climb back up the hill seeing as it was a little too steep.

"Hey, it looks like ya rolled down to the back of the Pixies mansion."

"Doesn't look like you can get back up the hill though," said Cronus on the phone.

Turning around and taking a look for myself I saw that he was right. Looking back I saw a fancy stone wall that surrounded the Pixies' entire backyard, which was rather expansive.

"Jump ovwer the fence and make your wvay to the road so we can pick ya up and don't wvorry about Pixies I'm sure she wvon't be too sore about it," said Cronus.

At this point I didn't really have a choice.

I hopped over the wall pulling myself to the ledge. From there I could see the Pixies' backyard. Though I've never seen their entire home the backyard was how I expected it to be, very large. It also had an in-ground pool that was roughly the size of the community pool downtown, if not bigger. This was most likely due to the Pixies family having somewhat of affinity for water. Being the natural swimmers that the Pixies were it wasn't very surprising. They could afford this because the head of the household was none other than the very head of the Betty Crocker corp. and if I'm not mistaken royalty of some kind is in their blood.

As I made my way over the wall I landed on wet concrete near the edge of the pool. I would soon find out this was the worst place I could have landed. Not a second on the ground I slipped and fell hands firts into the pool. After a moment in the water I felt something smooth. I then squinted my eyes open, but it was kind of hard too see anything and all I could see was a tan figure. The moment however, was short lived as the figure immediately started moving away. I then swam toward the edge of the pool, when I grabbed the edge I felt something under my hands. Then I realized it was a the top and bottom of a two-piece bikini. That's when I heard yelling.

I quickly turned my head to see what it was. Standing there dripping wet with towel wrapped tightly around her body she yelled "Kankri!"

I tried to reason with her saying "Please Meenah, even though you have all rights to be offended I would like to apologise and explain as to why..."

That happened to be all I was able to say before her out burst of "You are dead Vantas!"

Seeing as she was too triggered to listen to reason I clenched my hands and heaved myself out of the pool and made a run for the mansion. I don't know if she was following me or not, I just kept running through the halls trying not to break anything. I managed to run into Feferi, Meenah's younger sister, apologising as I did so. As I finally made it through the front door I saw Cronus' car stopped at the side of the road. As soon as I got in the car I heard familiar shouting of profanities from a significantly more dressed and slighty more triggered Meenah.

I urged Cronus to start driving and he complied saying "i knew she'd be mad, but I didn't think she'd be this pissed."

"Dawg, what even happened in there?" Rufioh asked.

"And why do you have a bikini?" Mituna chimed in.

I hadn't noticed that I still had it.

"Please, just take me home." I said in a tired tone.

I got home and started thinking of every possible way I could fix this situation. Unfortunately I couldn't think of anything. Tomorrow was going to be hell.

EDIT: I got lazy and didn't finish, typing a story that was written on paper is a tedious task, dude.