Nightly conversation.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.
Summary: Unable to sleep, Harry joins Sirius and Remus in the kitchen and learns more about them and his own past; there is baking involved.
Warnings: Rated T for possible strong language, strong bromance and mentioning of torture.
Contains slightly Molly and Dumbledore bashing but nothing too big.
Special thanks to Kitty; our conversations are what brought this to life and for beta-ing this.
Part of the A Bond of Family series; though it can be read alone.
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Sirius Black always had the reputation of being completely unpredictable. Whenever someone though they had figured the handsome boy out he would do something to throw them off guard completely again, and usually quite unconsciously too.
He had a way to surprise even those who knew him for years with ingenious pranks and his unorthodox manner of duelling made many a foe underestimate his abilities until it was too late.
Sirius was many different things in the eyes of just as many different people.
But the one thing both allies and enemies agreed on without a doubt, was that Sirius Black was anything but predictable.
Being locked in Azkaban for twelve years had robbed him of many things; his unpredictability however was not one of them.
So Remus would not be able to say why he was so surprised to enter the kitchen in the middle of the night to find his old friend baking, but he was.
The dark haired male's sleeves were pushed up to above his elbows, revealing thin, pale and scarred arms as he mixed something with his hands.
"Why are you baking?" Remus moved further into the kitchen to join his friend at the counter.
The bowl Sirius had been working in almost slipped from the counter as he startled heavily and only his ingrained quick reflexes prevent it from crashing to the ground.
"Remus! Don't sneak up on me."
Wincing Remus apologised; knowing better than to move quietly around his un-expected friend as even after two years being away from that horrible prison, the younger man was still easily startled.
"Sorry, I couldn't sleep and was coming down for a drink."
"It's all right," Sirius looked down at the bowl, returning to his work.
"You do realise using magic would make this go a lot quicker, right? Or just transfiguring a mixer would have the same effect."
"I'm not in any hurry, I don't expect Harry to show up for another hour or so and the twins have already returned to bed."
There was something in Sirius' words that made Remus think it wasn't the first time the twins had come down, though he pushed it his mind in favour of a more pressing question; "You are baking for Harry?"
"Who else would I be baking for in secrecy?"
"Right. I'm just surprised to see you baking at all, you haven't done so in years," the moment the words left his mouth, he stiffened; cursing his thoughtless mind for even mentioning it as he knew very well why Sirius hadn't baked in years. "Sorry."
An awkward silence fell between them as Sirius nodded; attacking the substance in the bowl a bit more determined and Remus watched him in silence for a long moment.
But eventually the silence became too much and untied his tongue. "So what is the occasion for which you are baking?"
"His fifteenth birthday."
Blinking surprised at the words, Remus looked down at the bowl to see his old friend was making chocolate cake. "Won't Molly want to make a cake for him tomorrow?"
"And why should I care about what she might want?" the annoyance in Sirius' voice was clear to hear and Remus shifted his weight a little unsure of what to say so ended up watching in silence once more as Sirius checked the texture of the mix before spreading it out into a form and slid the form into the oven.
His friend paused in closing the oven door; clearly picking up the faint footsteps a floor or two above them as someone entered the bathroom as easily as Remus did.
Finally closing it, Sirius glanced at his pocket watch with a frown before retrieving two pans.
"Chocolate or tea?"
"Chocolate of course. As if I would ever choose anything else with you making it," a smile crossed Remus' lips and for the first time since he had entered the kitchen it was returned with a small one.
Pouring milk into one pan, Sirius filled the other with water and placed both onto the stove before retrieving a bar of chocolate to dump into a small bowl; placing it onto the pan with water and stirring in it slowly.
Watching him for a moment longer, Remus realised Sirius wasn't going to be the one to break the silence and sighed. "I know you have no reason to care, but why exactly are you inviting another argument when you know Molly will want to make Harry a cake?"
"I wasn't aware I had to be asking for her permission if I wish to make my godson a birthday cake or even had to explain myself."
There was little Remus could say to argue with that; because Sirius was absolutely right and although he was sure Molly wouldn't agree or listen to his reasoning at all, it was more than within his right to make one if he wanted to.
And if he was completely honest with himself then he would have to admit it would be well worth having to sit through another of Molly's screaming sessions to have a taste of Sirius' cake.
For more than his unpredictability, his talent for baking was legendary among those who knew him well and often enough Remus had enjoyed his friend's skills throughout their childhood.
Mostly Sirius would surprise him after a full moon; somehow having discovered the healing power of chocolate for his tormented body and providing it in the form of a sugary sweet.
The young Pure-Blood's unexpected talent for baking and later cooking was something all the Mauraders had found amusing; but eagerly made use of.
Remus had found immense pleasure in watching Sirius bake things; learning things from the House-elves and especially Tiffy through the years and he always got to clear out the used bowl after his friend was done with it.
"Are you going to clean it out or should I just wash it off?"
Being pulled out of his thoughts to see his old friend hold out the bowl to him; he couldn't help but smile as Sirius had unknowingly followed his trail of thoughts and snatched it out of his hands to swipe some mixture onto his finger.
"For a moment, I thought you were sick," amused warm grey eyes watched him for a moment before they returned their attention to the melted chocolate he was stirring in.
"I was lost in thought," Remus admitted.
"I noticed. I used to have to defend the bowl from your eager fingers," Sirius' gaze found his momentarily. "What were you thinking about?"
Taking a moment to savour the last bit of mixture left, Remus moved to the sink to wash the bowl off himself. "I was thinking of how some people used to almost beg on their knees to bribe you into making something for them."
"Who begged on his knees?" Harry's familiar voice made Remus spin around to see the boy walk into the kitchen; rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses.
"You are up early," Sirius ignored the question; placing three mugs onto the table after he had filled them with hot chocolate and dumped the pans into the sink to clean up later.
"Ron's snoring was driving me insane," smiling in thanks, Harry folded his fingers around the hot cup. "Thanks."
"Between Ron's snoring and your own nightmares, you hardly get any sleep at all," Sirius frowned as he took a seat across of Harry on the kitchen table and Remus sat down beside him as the third cup told him he was not unwelcome.
"I don't really see any solution to that, Siri," Harry yawned.
"Why don't you crash in my room? At least you would get some sleep that way," Sirius offered; making Harry look up to his godfather surprised.
"I wouldn't want to intrude."
"You wouldn't. I'll just crash with Remus if it would make you uncomfortable to share a bed with me."
"Then where would he sleep?"
"I'm more than used to his company in my bed," Remus tried to assure him; blinking surprised as Harry promptly choked on the sip of hot chocolate he had just taken and flushed.
Rethinking what he had said, Remus flushed himself as he realised how that could be taken, though Sirius just laughed unhelpfully.
"I didn't mean...I..." Remus stumbled over his words in his haste to try and explain properly and was relieved when Sirius took pity on him.
"We didn't share a bed for the reason you are thinking of," he informed Harry, smiling ruefully. "We both had our fair share of nightmares and there is a lot of comfort to have someone close to you that you trust after one."
Harry nodded; more than familiar with the terror and misery he always felt upon waking from one and it was part of the reason he was always relieved to find Sirius in the kitchen with hot chocolate in the after-effects of one.
"Did..." trailing off, Harry wasn't sure he actually wanted to know the answer to the question on his mind, but Remus seemed to read his mind.
"Only occasionally, usually whenever Sirius had gotten hurt but other than that it was rare. He was always there for him when he woke up from one, though," Remus' smile faded. "At the end of fifth year, Sirius had so many nightmares that we just gave up on separate beds altogether. James and I would just take turns to crawl in beside him upon bedtime so that once the nightmares hit, we could just hold him close in comfort."
"Only you and Dad?"
"I don't think Peter ever even discovered either of us had nightmares; though he knew we sometimes slept in the same bed," Sirius softly commented.
"Fat chance, if we didn't wake him up before breakfast, he would have slept the entire day. I don't think he ever knew that," Remus' tone was angry as he contradicted his friend, making the other shrug and Harry decided a diversion was in order before either men could get overcome with emotion.
"Did it help, sleeping in the same bed?"
"It is amazing how much comfort there is to be found to wake up in the arms of someone who makes you feel safe," Sirius looked down at his cup. "Especially when waking up terrified and lost."
"Why did you have so many nightmares?" Harry was truly curious to what might have scared his godfather so much as a teenager.
"You really have to ask after having seen what kind of people the Blacks' were?" Remus snorted and Harry bit his lip, ashamed to have even asked in the first place.
Sirius reached out to squeeze Harry's hand over the table. "You are allowed to ask questions, Harry. If there is one I don't want to answer, I will say so."
"My relatives were horrible; stuck up, sadistic and very cruel. They have never been happy with my opinions and actions and even as a toddler I was already a disappointment in the eyes of most of them. And where some parents believed in raising their children differently despite the different views; mine weren't like that," the haunting in Sirius' eyes seemed to increase as he looked down at his empty cup. "They believed that if a child did not act accordingly to their beliefs; the hard way was the best way. Or in their case; inflicting pain to force the child into submission was their preferred method to handle disobedience."
"They beat you?"
"They never laid a hand upon me, despising anything remotely Muggle-like. They preferred dark spells to get their point across."
Harry had known Sirius had never seen eye to eye with his relatives and had ran away to the Potters; and though he had wondered, he had never worked up the courage to ask what had happened. But even in his deepest and darkest thoughts, had he never imagined what he did now.
"They tortured you?" the shrug he received in return overwhelmed Harry with anger and revolt; realising just what kind of childhood his godfather must have had.
"We found out in our third year and your father had a whole fit; did everything he could to try and get Sirius out of there," Remus revealed.
"Why didn't he?" Harry knew his father hadn't managed or Sirius wouldn't have had to run away and it angered him to think his father had not helped his friend when he had clearly needed it.
"It is not that easy, pup. My relatives belonged to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black; one of the most powerful and darkest families ever existing and their influence the Wizarding world wide-spread. Many of the other houses married into the House of Black; giving them even more political influence and power," Sirius scratched at his arm and Harry's eyes fell onto the scars on his godfather's arms and wrists; wondering if his parents had inflicted the shackle like wounds there, but couldn't bear to ask.
"So? Dad came from a powerful house as well, didn't he?"
"It doesn't quite work that way as although the House of Potter was a Noble and Ancient one; they were mostly viewed as blood traitors by most of Pure-Blood society since they were Muggle-friendly. It would have been political suicide if they had interfered in the personal affairs of the House of Black."
Sirius could clearly see the lack of understanding in Harry's eyes as he elaborated.
"If the Potter had tried to take me from the Blacks without their permission and without clear evidence; they would have risked both their seat and what influence they had. Without both; the fragile balance between the Houses would have tipped over to the dark families supporting Voldemort; giving him free reign."
Sirius' hand slipped over the table again to squeeze Harry's in an attempt to comfort him. "They tried, within their power to make things easier for me. Your father invited me over every summer; in ways that my relatives had little choice than to accept or lose face. It forced them to at least let me go for a few weeks every summer holiday. And they also send letters and little gifts throughout the school year."
"Didn't Dad do anything?"although it comforted Harry a little to know his family hadn't just left his godfather to rot, it still didn't sit well with him to know they had left him there.
"James especially did everything he could for me; he and Remus learned as much healing spells as they could so that they could help me heal any wounds I had after the holidays and covered for me during the first weeks as I was recovering properly. They have always looked after me and your father especially was extremely overprotective of me."
"But you still ran away before being an adult," Harry pointed out. "What happened?"
"They went too far when I was fifteen. I had gotten a lot more powerful over the years; learning as much magic as I could and Christmas Eve of my fifth year we clashed. The result wasn't pretty but I managed to get away and ran to your dad's. It was then that your grandparents could present the evidence needed to my grandfather to get my away from there for good. They took me in."
His haunted eyes lightened slightly, lifting up to look at Harry. "Your family has been one of the best things to have ever happened to me."
A lump formed in Harry's throat at the intensive warmth displayed in those grey eyes; the love his godfather felt for his family radiating off of him in waves that made Harry smile.
"What's the best thing that ever happened to you then?"
"Your birth," the genuine beam of happiness on his godfather's expression made Harry blush and the older man cleared his throat.
"But we got off track; would you like to try sleeping in my room?" he clearly misinterpreted Harry's blush as discomfort and tried to change the subject.
Ducking his head, Harry slowly nodded.
"Good, then I will grab my toothbrush before you go back to..."
"You don't have to crash with Remus," Harry flushed even worse as Remus looked at him amused, but ignored the other man. "I uh...I don't mind you being in the bed with me."
"If you are sure, though I will sleep as Padfoot so that you'll be more comfortable," Sirius decided.
"You don't have to," Harry tried to reassure him, but Sirius waved off his concern. "Thank you."
"Anything for you, pup."
"Why do you do that?" Harry found himself asking. "I don't mind, but am curious as to why you call me pup on occasion. Is it because of Padfoot?"
Blinking, Sirius turned to Remus who shrugged in turn.
"I call him pup?"
"You do, have done so since he was a baby," Remus smiled.
"I hadn't realised, though Padfoot might have to do with it," Sirius admitted. "The moment Lily told me she was pregnant, you were family to me. James has always been my brother and once your parents started dating Lily became my sister."
He hesitated, as if unsure how to explain properly what he wanted to say. "From the moment you were born and I held you as you took your first breaths, I knew you were mine. Sure, you were their child, but I have always loved you as my own. It's very likely that because of Padfoot that got translated into you being my pup."
Harry's heart skipped a beat at the obvious love and devotion in his godfather's warm expression as he clearly recalled good memories and he knew that from the bottom of his heart, Sirius truly loved him unconditionally; a realisation that filled Harry with more happiness than he could describe.
"You were there when I was born?" he tried to keep his emotions in check, but if anything his godfather's expression warmed even more as his grey eyes shone.
"I was actually the one who brought you into the world. Your dad had gotten hurt on an Order mission and was at St. Mungo and although she was heavily pregnant and about to burst, your mum insisted on seeing him so I took her through the Muggle entrance for your safety. But when we were in the elevator, it broke down in between floors and we were stuck," Sirius laughed. "Of course you choose that moment that you wanted to come out and her water broke so there was no choice but to get you out right there and then when she went into labour shortly after. I had just placed you in your mother's arms when they finally managed to break through the defensive wards."
Sirius' smile grew as he was pulled into the memory. "Your father was standing right outside; absolutely gobsmacked as he saw you. The smile when you were placed into his arms was the most beautiful one I'd ever seen on him; it was even more radiant than when your mum asked him out on a date."
"That..." Harry was awed to hear about his birth; warmth rushing through him to know he had been so wanted and loved by his father. "They couldn't use magic to break open the doors?"
"No, there are very powerful wards on the elevators so that in case of an attack; they cannot be taken down easily."
"It took them three hours to break through the defences and break open the elevator," Remus took over when Sirius coughed. "Your father spend all that time in front of the door pacing as we heard your mum scream and Sirius urging her on. But they couldn't hear him through the wards."
"Your first wail came through the doors moments before they opened and the moment he cradled you close was the most beautiful moment of his life," Sirius said after a sip of his chocolate.
"And Mum?"
"She spend her time giving birth divided between screaming things at me I hadn't even heard of before and apologising for them. It was terrifying and a little offending since it wasn't even my fault she was pregnant in the first place," Sirius laughed. "But when you gave that first wail, she became the proudest and happiest woman in the world and neither of them could stop staring at you."
"Neither could you," Remus accused, turning to Harry. "I took the magical entrance ahead of them; trying to get James ready in time so that he could surprise Lily in already being allowed to go home with her. So I was present when you were placed back into Sirius' arms; being told that his godfather should be the first to officially hold him after them. He was absolutely covered in blood from the delivery; but you'd have thought he was covered in sparkles with how he cradled you in his arms and stared down at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen."
"You were, still are," Sirius corrected; not the least bit embarrassed and Harry found he himself couldn't feel the least bit embarrassed about the display of love.
It was weird; Harry had always believed male adults did not show emotions other than angry; Snape and Uncle Vernon fine examples of that, but interacting with his godfather and Remus had taught him that wasn't entirely true.
Neither was afraid to show what they were feeling and it comforted Harry in ways he couldn't describe to see the open love and affection displayed in Sirius' eyes.
But the moment was broken by a bell going off softly and Sirius blinked before he quickly moved from the table and pulled a cake out of the oven.
"I didn't know you could bake," Harry sniffed the air appreciatively. "That smells good."
"He is brilliant at baking; and quite a good cook as well," Remus said. "When he was staying with your parents and you, they always tried to make him cook."
"You weren't any better, Remus," Sirius placed the cake onto the table and after tapping it with his wand to cool it, began to spread icing over it.
"Can you blame me? You are a brilliant cook and I usually simply waited for him to come home before having dinner," Remus grinned unashamed.
"You lived together?"
"Yes, it was hard to find a place after graduation as people didn't easily rent out to werewolves; registered or not. Sirius had gotten a place of his own shortly before and invited me to stay with him. I kept swearing that I would find a place of my own soon, but never did. Not that it really mattered as he hardly ever came home again after you were born," laughing at Harry's confusion, Remus decided to elaborate.
"You would often refuse to fall asleep unless Sirius was there and although your parents tried every trick in the book; you would be calmest if Sirius was there. He tried to leave once you had fallen asleep but if you woke and he wasn't there when he had been before you fell asleep; you would cry until James would finally beg Sirius to return."
Sirius laughed. "That is if you went to sleep at all; as you knew I might leave once you did. I can't even remember how often I spent the night driving through the streets or just flying while you were asleep in my arms."
"How did Mum and Dad handle me if you were unavailable then?" Harry was torn between being mortified at being such a disastrous toddler and simply curiosity.
"It didn't happen often, but the few times he was on mission for the Order; they used special methods to contact each other," Remus grinned and Sirius nodded.
"I almost blew a mission when you called me on your first birthday; I wasn't supposed to come due to it being delayed but when you called I couldn't get it over my heart not to go. You kept calling me to go follow you while you flew on your first toy broom."
"James was glad for the moment of respite, though. He told me he had spend hours chasing after you and was happy for Sirius to do the same for the gift he was responsible for in the first place."
"I should have a picture of it somewhere; your mum wrote to me about it in a letter; having just send it away by owl when I unexpectedly arrived."
"How? You ran away when you were fifteen, wouldn't that be elsewhere?"
"I kept everything I found precious in my Vault; including copies of all my photos. It was a precaution in case Death Eaters attacked. Your family Vault should have loads of personal items of your parents in them as well. I wish I could take you there immediately, but seeing as I'm still a fugitive I am afraid it will have to wait until you are seventeen."
"So...there will be photos of my parents there?" Harry asked hopeful for more things of his family.
"Yes, from when they were both young until shortly before they died. And loads of personal items too, diaries and stuff like that. Your mum kept a diary while she was pregnant with you. It should be in there too," Sirius confirmed.
"And I can enter it when I turn seventeen?" Harry asked happily.
"Yes, that is when your trust vault disappears and I'm supposed to give you your family Vault key."
"You have my key?"
"One of them. Your grandfather gave me access when they adopted me into the family so that I could always take money should I want to buy something. I never did outside of school supplies, but I do have the key," Sirius said. "After you were born, James made sure I had a key of your trust Vault as well as your guardian."
"Then how did Dumbledore come to be in possession of my trust Vault key if he was never my guardian?"
"He must have taken it from my belongings upon my arrest as he indeed was never your guardian. Your parents had only named me, but I had named people as well; in case something might happen to me as well. Dumbledore had no right to put you with the Dursleys since not all the people on my list were unavailable and he is really lucky I can't have him arrested for breaking a Will or I would."
"Who did you name to look after me if something happened to you?" Harry asked, curious to who Sirius would have trusted enough to look after him.
"Remus was my first choice; though I knew it was unlikely the Ministry wouldn't give him trouble due to his lycanthropy. Alice and Frank Longbottom second, my old friend Pandora third and fourth was Minerva McGonagall."
"Professor McGonagall? Seriously?" Harry was horrified to see his godfather nod.
"She was a close friend of your grandparents so we often saw her outside of school and underneath that strictness, she was actually very kind. She is one of the few people I trust unconditionally."
"When you had just escaped, I snuck into Hogsmeade and overheard her talking with some others about you. She couldn't believe you had done what they said you did. Rosmerta too."
Sirius frowned. "Rosmerta? I haven't seen her in ages, you hated her guts."
"I did?"
"Oh you did. You were absolutely smitten with your Siri. Made quite a few shop owners and cashiers in the supermarket go all googly eyes on you both as you'd glare really adorably if anyone so much as dared to smile at Sirius. Rosmerta has the habit of flirting with every handsome young man and Sirius and your dad both qualified. You would glare at her whenever we stopped at the Three Broomsticks," Remus laughed.
"You didn't care that she flirted with your dad but the moment she would turn to Sirius you would glare at her and hold onto him tightly, saying 'My Siri!' It was really adorable."
Sirius chuckled. "I remember that. You would do that every time someone tried to chat me up."
"I did? What did they say to that?" Harry asked amused.
"There was little they could say as Sirius' answer basically made every living being swoon at his feet in adoration."
"It wasn't that bad," Sirius argued.
"It was," Remus shot back.
"What did he say then?" Harry asked, noticing Sirius' growing smile and Remus' twinkling eyes.
"Yours." They answered at the same time and Remus laughed again.
"No one was allowed to come near him outside the Potters and me. Not even Moody or Dumbledore were allowed to come within touching range or you would use magic to drive them away. And you actually quite liked Moody."
"Even Peter?"
"Especially Peter. You would get hysterical if he came too close to Sirius or you. Like you knew he was bad news. Wouldn't stop screaming if he tried to pick you up, throwing a defensive shield around you and Sirius when he did."
"A defensive shield?" Harry asked confused.
"James and Sirius spend months teaching you a small Protego charm, so that if something would happen you could protect yourself. Only you mostly used it to keep people you didn't like away from Sirius. You were so possessive of him, which only intensified after the incident."
"Incident?" Harry asked, awed to learn his father and godfather had tried to teach him magic like that to protect him from harm.
"When you were a little over a year old Sirius was babysitting you when Death Eaters attacked our apartment. It terrified me when I returned home that evening and saw the Dark Mark above the building. There was no sign of either of you, though there was a clear sign of a struggle and our wards were torn apart," Remus shuddered as he remembered coming home to that sight and Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly and Remus shot him a fleeting smile in thanks.
"James and Sirius had arranged that if there was ever trouble they would Apparate to Potter Manor, where your grandparents lived, as a safe haven. But by the time the Order arrived at the Manor both your grandparents were already dead and Sirius had been tortured for hours by Death Eaters."
Remus reached out to squeeze Sirius' hand as the other looked down stricken at the mentioning of Harry's grandfather's deaths.
"We managed to drive them away quickly enough, but there was no sign of you anywhere. Your parents were beside themselves with fear as Sirius was not coherent enough to say more than that you were in a safe location. We didn't realise what he meant until someone mentioned Potter Manor should have been a safe location. That's when James realised what he had meant and led us to the hallway, though a hidden room that your grandfather had made for Sirius. A place he could go to if he ever got scared. James and he called it their safe location. Upon entering you were indeed there, scared and hungry but completely unharmed. After that you refused to let Sirius out of your sight, afraid he'd disappear again."
Sirius smiled softly. "You shared that opinion with James. He practically demanded that I'd move in with the three of you for a while to recover from my injuries since Remus was mostly away on missions anyway. We had loads of fun together while I stayed with you."
Harry gave a small smile before he frowned.
"You almost died to protect me, didn't you?"
"I would do anything to keep you safe, pup. If that means giving up my life then I would do it in a heartbeat," Sirius replied honestly.
"I know, but you openly tried to protect me despite what they did to you. How could anyone believe you would have ever betrayed my family while they knew that?"
"I don't know. I would have rather died than betraying your parents or you and I thought everyone knew that."
"It were difficult times and no one was entirely sure who they could and couldn't trust. Looking back I still wonder how I could have ever believed Sirius to have been the traitor despite all I knew about him. But then I questioned myself to why I believed him to be the spy and the reasons I came up with were weak at best."
"What did you come up with?" Harry asked, wanting to know what had made Remus doubt one of his closest friends.
"As time passed by Sirius got fairly distant from me while we used to be very close. He'd spent more and more time away from home without saying where he went, something I now realise had to do with secret missions for the Order. Dumbledore ordered us not to speak to anyone about what we did, not even to each other. Just in case a spy would try to get information. We didn't realise that the same precaution made us wary of each other because of the secrecy," he cleared his throat.
"I also suspect Peter played a big part in it. Little things he said about Sirius that didn't add up and caused me to question him, despite knowing better. Like he'd seen Sirius at a location where known Death Eaters had been around the same time. I didn't know he was on missions during those times and believed the worst. And last of all I am very much ashamed to say I started to see Sirius as a Black and not as the boy I'd always known and trusted."
Remus looked up to Sirius with tears in his eyes. "I truly am sorry for ever doubting you, despite that I should have known better."
Sirius sighed before squeezing Remus' hand still on his and swallowed before slowly nodding.
"We were both at fault. I never took into account that you had always followed the rules where possible and would take precautions seriously. James and I always told each other where we were going, regardless of Dumbledore's orders," he paused, hesitating but Remus interrupted him before he could say more.
"And the fact that I am a werewolf and the Death Eaters were recruiting them didn't help either."
Sirius frowned.
"I would have never thought you to be a spy because of that. If anything that would have kept you from turning. You knew what the Slytherins thought of werewolves and in their eyes lesser creatures. You fought me on every little thing I ever tried to do for you, too much darn proud for your own good. Moony would never be the reason you would turn traitor."
Harry glanced at Remus as he looked at Sirius in shock, clearly not having expected that answer at all.
"We were a bunch of fools," he finally whispered and Sirius nodded.
"We were and we paid dearly for it."
They fell quiet for a few moments as Sirius put the finishing touches to the cake he'd been absentmindedly icing and decorating before he stood up to collect something from a drawer.
"But enough small and depressing talks, close your eyes pup," he ordered and Harry did what he asked without hesitation.
Sirius quickly passed Remus some candles which they quickly put onto the cake before Sirius lightened them with a gesture of his hand, using wandless magic to do so.
He nodded to Remus as he sat down again and together they softly sang the tunes of the birthday song, making Harry open his eyes surprised before he blinked upon seeing the burning candles on the cake.
"The cake was meant for me?" he asked awed.
"Of course, who else is turning fifteen today?" Sirius asked as he wrapped Harry into a short hug, placing a kiss in his hair. "Happy birthday, now blow out your candles and make a wish."
Harry answered his hug, swallowing thickly before glancing back at the cake.
"You didn't have to go through so much trouble."
Sirius shrugged. "I wanted to. And I'm aware that I don't really know you as well as I should have liked to know you, but you used to love this specific cake when you were little and you did mention that you still like chocolate."
"I do...thank you, both of you," Harry said once he'd whipped away a few happy tears.
"I did..." Remus wanted to object that he hadn't helped at all but Sirius interrupted him.
"We were delighted to make it for you. Now make that wish," Sirius said eagerly before beginning the tunes of the birthday song again, Remus quick to join him.
Laughing Harry took a deep breath before blowing the candles out...only to find out they didn't go out at all. Sirius and Remus both snickered as he attempted to blow them out twice more.
"Very funny you two," Harry mock glared at them before he chuckled.
"Oh come on...how could we possibly resist?" Sirius grinned as he gestured over the candles again and this time when Harry blew at them they went out immediately.
"We are Marauders after all," Remus added with a wink.
Harry smiled before taking the knife Sirius handed him.
"How about you share a piece with us, birthday boy?" he asked as he placed three plates down and Harry carefully cut a piece onto each plate before picking up his fork.
"Mrs. Weasley is going to have a nervous breakdown when she learns we are eating cake in the middle of the night," he noted with amusement.
"Tough luck for her then that this is our house and our rules apply isn't it?" Sirius answered calmly.
Our house.
Harry couldn't help but beam at the words Sirius said so casually.
"You know she will be mad at you tomorrow, right?" Harry asked just to be sure Sirius knew what he was getting himself into. Mrs. Weasley's temper was widely known in most of the Wizarding world, and although that temper had never been directed at him he knew she often directed it at his godfather.
"When isn't she mad at him?" Remus asked.
"True, she thinks I am irresponsible, shouldn't be trusted and a danger to your safety because I don't believe in wrapping you in wool and keeping you out of the loop," Sirius said, not looking the least bit bothered.
"Aren't you the least bit afraid of her temper? Almost everyone is."
Remus snorted and Sirius' only answer was a wide smile that looked a tiny bit on the insane side if Harry was completely honest with himself.
"What?"
"Sirius was given a lecture by McGonagall on an almost daily basis, which often started with her screaming his name throughout the Great Hall, along with your father of course, before she dragged them off to her office to lecture them."
"Professor M got quite scary when James and I truly pissed her off," Sirius commented with such a joyful expression that Harry couldn't help but snicker.
"I think the major reason why Molly makes absolutely no impression on him is because of his Walburga Black. I only had the displeasure of truly meeting that hag once when she showed up at Hogwarts after Christmas in fifth year after Sirius had ran away. She caught him by surprise and cornered him in the great hall, screaming his ears off about what a disgrace he was and how much of a blood traitor and that the family would forever be disgraced because of his actions," Remus grinned.
"And Sirius just stood there before he silenced her when she insulted the Potters and he basically told her she was an old disgusting hag not worth his attention. And that if she wanted to open that big mouth of hers then she should go find her son to yell at because Sirius was not interested in the words of a creature he would be ashamed to be associated with. He then spelled her to eat soap because any mouth that spoke words like Mudblood and blood traitor could use a bit of a mouth cleaning in his opinion and who knew, it might even clean some of the filth and stench away from her ugly inbred mug. Turned his back on her after that and almost happily skipped away to go to us, leaving her standing there, surrounded by half of the school."
Sirius burst out in laugher as Harry stared at him in utter shock and Remus tried but failed to keep a straight expression.
"I'd forgotten about that. Indeed a good reason why Molly fails to impress me," Sirius managed to get out before snickering again as Harry couldn't stop staring at him with an open mouth.
"You said all that to her face in front of a full Great Hall?"
Sirius shrugged. "She didn't have the decency to yell at me in private so I didn't see why I shouldn't give her the same luxury."
"You are insane!"
"So I've been told by a variety of people over the years," Sirius said dryly and Remus chuckled.
"Absolutely mad. It is just a shame that he's so absolutely brilliant and clever to combine with that madness. Often us Marauders had to fear for our own sanity if he got an idea he wished to follow."
"Such as?"
"Learning to drive a bike, breaking into Filch's office to paint everything pink, teaching us to drive a car, and stealing Dumbledore's candy."
"You stole Dumbledore's candy?"
"Yes, it really wasn't all that hard. The password to his office was always based upon some kind of candy so it was just a matter of guessing the right one and trying to enter undetected by the Gargoyles and getting out of there again the same way. Fawkes actually helped me once when I got cornered when Dumbledore unexpectedly returned early from a diversion James had set up elsewhere in the castle to lure him out. Grabbed me and in a flash I was back in Gryffindor Tower, the bag filled with his candy stock in my hands," Sirius grinned.
"We had loads of fun displaying small parts of that stock at various areas in the castle for him to find again. Of course we had to time it perfectly with the Marauder Map so that we'd be sure Dumbledore was the one who'd find it and not someone else."
Remus snickered. "I was absolutely terrified when the Headmaster picked up his lemon drops and his beard and hair turned blue. Not to mention the colour rainbow they turned when he put a candy into his mouth after testing it with his wand for spells. Awestruck, but terrified he'd know we were responsible."
"How could he not have known? Although he's never been able to prove it was us since we were smart enough to not change him into Gryffindor colours like Peter wanted. He was fun to try and throw pranks at because he took usually took it into stride. McGonagall however was not as amused when we'd prank her. I remember she got especially mad when we charmed a bunch of fishes to swim around her head for a couple of hours one day."
"How did you ever survive long enough to become adults?" Harry asked awed at their nerves.
"We never played pranks that would actually hurt people. Changed them different colours, we make them sing opera style for a full day once after James' parents had taken Sirius to see one. Had the entire school talk in limericks or gave various students different body parts and stuff like that," Remus shrugged before he smiled.
"Once Sirius accidentally changed James into a bird. James had been annoying us by singing love songs for Lily on Valentine's Day all day. And Sirius eventually snapped at him that if he wanted to sing he should have become a bird. And while he was speaking James suddenly turned into one. It was quite hilarious and to this day I still do not know who was more shocked. James in his bird form or Sirius at having changed him."
"Didn't Sirius mean to change him into one?" Harry asked surprised.
"No, he hadn't been holding his wand and hadn't even thought of a spell to use wandless magic and yet James was a bird. James was as perplexed as Sirius was once we finally managed to change him back again. He did say he had a lot of fun sitting on Sirius' shoulder all day, twittering and singing in his ear."
Sirius laughed. "We never did figure out how I'd managed to do it. I was too old to be using accidental magic and even for wandless magic I would have needed to at least think of an incantation. And James was absolutely sure it had been my magic that changed him."
He shook his head with a smile. "McGonagall tried to help us change him back but she couldn't undo what I had done. Professor Flitwick was eventually the one who suggested that I should think of James in his human form and that did the trick."
They shared a chuckle as Harry tried to imagine his father as a bird.
"I bet you have millions of stories like that."
"If I can access my Vault properly I could actually show you those memories. And maybe I can locate a Pensieve here somewhere too."
"That would be great," Harry smiled happily.
"But that is for later; let's first eat this cake before turning in for some more sleep, shall we?" Remus suggested and Harry nodded before taking a bite of his cake. He chewed on it before the taste reached his senses and he swallowed quickly.
"Wow! This is really good!" he exclaimed and Sirius smiled.
"Thanks, I'm glad you like it."
"I do! I thought I'd never find any cake that could beat Mrs. Weasley's but this is so much better than any cake she ever made."
Sirius flushed. "I'm not that good."
"You are!" Harry and Remus argued at the same time and Sirius backed away with his hands raised.
"And you have to teach me how to make this," Harry added.
"Sure," Sirius readily agreed.
"Does that mean that I can play guinea pig?" Remus asked eagerly, making the other two laugh before they nodded and ate their cake in a comfortable silence.
Once they were all done Sirius took their places, cleaning them up while Remus put the rest of the cake into the fridge.
"We will give you your birthday present tomorrow, for now you really need to get some more sleep or I'm certain we will all get some infamous Weasley temper thrown at us if we all fall asleep during your party," Remus smiled.
Sirius and Harry snickered and Sirius threw his arms around Harry from behind. "I will just hide behind Harry."
"Coward," Harry accused teasingly.
"Maybe, but if I don't occasionally hide behind you I might just end up strangling her. This is the safest for her," Sirius answered easily, snuggling against Harry.
Harry leaned back into his hug, knowing that he should probably feel uncomfortable being hugged by someone as he wasn't very used to people hugging him outside Hermione and occasionally Mrs. Weasley. But somehow he didn't mind it when Sirius hugged him.
It made him feel safe and content and from the soft hum Sirius unconsciously produced he knew Sirius was happy to be hugging him too, just holding him close.
Maybe it was partly because he had just learned just how deeply his godfather cared about him or maybe it was because he loved his godfather deeply, too. At any rate, Harry felt completely content as he let out a yawn.
Sirius moved his arms from Harry's waist to put them on his shoulders and turned him towards the stairs. "Bedtime," he said softly and Remus, who had been calmly leaning against the wall beside them shifted as he straightened at Sirius' words.
Harry only had a moment to realise he wasn't embarrassed to have been hugged by his godfather while Remus watched when he was suddenly picked up.
"Sirius!" he called out as Sirius picked him up bridal style and Harry automatically flung his arms around his neck to get a grip.
"Oh, so you haven't fallen asleep on me after all," Sirius teased as he shifted him a bit higher in his arms and tickled his side.
"Put me down," Harry laughed as he squirmed away from Sirius' tickling fingers while Remus laughed at them.
"No. It won't do to have you fall down the stairs in your sleepy state," Sirius informed him cheerily as he began to walk up the many flights of stairs, his arms firmly around Harry as if he was going to fall if he loosened his grip slightly.
Harry smiled before he simply held onto Sirius, letting his godfather carry him up the stairs like a small infant. He was too tired to argue and he didn't really mind Sirius being openly affectionate and caring.
He figured that while he himself had not known much love in his childhood, Sirius' youth would only have been worse and Harry vaguely wondered if the occasional touch Remus and he himself shared with his godfather were the only human touches he'd received since escaping.
Sirius always seemed like such a strong and somewhat distant person. Harry didn't have a single memory of Sirius ever touching anyone beside the two of them and he decided that he really should be more openly affectionate with Sirius.
Even if they were in company.
After all, even if the others would laugh because of it, should he really care what they thought?
People always gossiped about him anyway, no matter what he did and it would be nice to be this close to Sirius more often. His godfather was always there for him every night when he woke up from nightmares.
Come to think of it, Sirius was always in the kitchen when Harry stumbled downstairs, no matter what time it was.
And in the aftermath of what he had learned about his godfather today, it wasn't that unbelievable to think the man had nightmares of his own that prevented him from a good night of sleep.
If he had so many nightmares as a teenager then it only stood to reason that those multiplied after twelve years in Azkaban. So not only for his own benefit but also that of his godfather Harry knew he would like to make an attempt to be more openly affectionate.
Especially since Sirius himself had said it helped a lot to be wrapped in the arms of someone you loved.
He got pulled out of tired thoughts by the feeling of being put down on a bed, Sirius' bed to be exact and he realised he had closed his eyes somewhere along the way.
He was about to open them again but decided they were too heavy when he felt Sirius loosely tuck him in and removing his glasses before a soft kiss was pressed to his forehead and Sirius' weight disappeared from the bed completely.
He felt content and he didn't want to fight his heavy eyes on the off chance that this was all a happy dream and he'd wake up on his small bed beside Ron again.
He heard Sirius and Remus converse softly before the door closed and he believed himself to be alone.
His heart clenched at the thought, he didn't want Sirius to leave.
But before the thought could truly take shape enough for him to panic he heard the sound of Sirius as he shifted into Padfoot and the weight on the bed dipped a little as Padfoot curled up on the bed end and a small weight settled on Harry's lower legs, telling him Padfoot rested his head there.
The contact was comforting and Harry let himself slide into a content sleep, surrounded by the warmth of Padfoot applied as he lay curled up against his legs.