DISCLAIMER: I don't own House of Anubis. For bs13's love quote contest. Note: Mara and Patricia room together.

Love is being stupid together- Paul Valery

Visions flash through her mind as she tosses and turns in her bed. She wishes she could say they were nightmares, but that would be a lie, and besides, she doesn't feel as if she can speak right now anyway. If she opens her mouth she'll scream out of frustration.

They're memories.

Memories of times she wants to treasure forever and forget at the same time.

And they're all centered on one guy, the guy that had lowered her force field and loved her like no one else did. She winces at the past tense as she lies in bed, perfectly still. Thrashing would not get her anywhere- if nothing else, it'd wake up Mara, who was in no way a deep sleeper. And then Mara would ask what's wrong, and Mara could usually tell. Mara could tell when Patricia was lying, because Mara had stuck with her when Joy was gone and had grown accustomed to Patricia's ways. They had, at one point, bonded.

Patricia supposes it's her own fault for pushing them all away- the friendships that had weakened over the years and the relationships that had eventually come to clipped words and quick talks. Even she and Piper only shot each other the occasional text nowadays, or rang each other up for help.

She pushed everyone away at some point. It was every man for himself, it always had been and always would be, and so what was the point in making friends with people and starting up romances with people when everyone would ditch you anyway?

There was no point, something Patricia had quickly convinced herself. So she pushed them all away before they could do it to her; she ditched them all before they could hurt her. Granted, it wasn't a healthy way of living, but it was the only one she had ever known.

So naturally, she had pushed Eddie away as well.

Deep in thought, Patricia glances over at the alarm clock. Three am, she was going to pay for this tomorrow morning and she knew it. But her mind was in overload, how could she possibly fall asleep now? It wasn't-

Creak.

She freezes, only briefly glancing at Mara to see if she heard. But no, Mara is still asleep, snuggled up under the blankets. Patricia was probably hearing things, that had to be it, and it was all just-

Creak.

Slowly and quietly, she creeps out of bed herself and tiptoes to the door, her socks guaranteeing silence. What was she doing? Who knows who was down there? But Patricia just had to know, the curiosity was gnawing at her. Skipping the eight step, she keeps a cautious eye out.

"Eddie? What are you doing?" The words tumble out of her without her consent, and she internally berates herself. She should've just gone back upstairs; it's only Eddie and Eddie can do whatever he wants, they weren't together anymore, she didn't care what he did, she shouldn't care…

"Going on a walk," he mumbles, looking down. He doesn't even look surprised that she's there as he tugs on his leather jacket, fixing the collar and pulling at the sleeves. Anything to not meet her eyes, Patricia quickly realizes.

"At three a.m.," she scoffs, crossing her arms. "Kind of stupid, don't you think?"

"Why do you care?" he shot back bitterly before turning to look at her. An unexplainable look colored his face, and his eyes filled with something she had never seen before.

"You're right," she says, because she has taken a long time to stare at him, to try to read his emotions. "I don't care." Lie. Lie, lie, lie, and lie after lie.

"Great," he murmurs, reaching for the door handle. But she can't let him go that easily- what if something happens to him? They were living on a campus that had ancient rulers, priceless artifacts, and insane teachers. And he was the Osirian, which practically guaranteed trouble.

"Wait," Patricia says, crossing over and placing her hand over his on the doorknob to stop him from leaving. Eddie exhales through his nose, thoroughly annoyed now, yet turns to glance at her anyway, eyes searching for an explanation, a method to her madness. "Are you sure this is safe? I mean, you never know, somebody could kidnap you or…" she searches for another excuse but draws a blank, and looks at him for a response.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he mutters, looking down again, and she's momentarily shocked. They broke up; it didn't mean she wanted him kidnapped.

"How could you think I'd like that?" she's taken aback, frankly, and she can tell his calm composure is slipping.

"I don't know!" he laughs almost hysterically, moving his hand from the doorknob and batting her hand away as well. "I don't know what you like, Patricia! I thought you liked me, maybe even loved me, but no, I was wrong!"

"Keep your voice down, weasel," she hisses, eyes darting.

"Why should I?" he spits out, but he lowers his voice obediently. "Shouldn't the whole world know that we didn't split up because of a mutual decision? I'm not 'cool with it'! I'm not a cucumber or a Popsicle!"

"I should've just stayed upstairs," she shakes her head, avoiding confrontation as usual and turning to the stairs. "This was a mistake."

"Just like our relationship, right?" And his voice sounds broken as he finally wrenches the doorknob open, letting a cool gust of wind inside. She bites her lip as she climbs the stairs and looks down at her long pajama pants, thinking about Eddie all alone out there, potentially in danger.

And soon enough, Patricia heads out the door as well. She might half-freeze to death, and who knows, maybe she'd end up kidnapped as well. She wasn't practicing what she had preached, and this was probably one of the stupidest things she had ever done, and for what? An ex she might still be in love with?

But that's what love is. Being stupid together.