Author's Note: Super short one parter born from a message board wish list. POV flips every paragraph because neither Rachel nor Kurt can be ignored, so try to keep up! Oh and hope you enjoy!
Summary: What would happen if Rachel and Kurt threw a double date dinner party? Could their two explosive personalities be contained? Or would tempers ignite before the second course?
Pairings: Rachel/Finn and Kurt/Blaine
Appetite for Destruction
She wants it to be perfect. It's their first date since reuniting and she wants to show him that she's changed. That she's not trying too hard to make him love her. That she's not insecure about how he truly feels. She's trying really hard not to try too hard, but she can't help it. So she goes to Kurt.
He wants it to be perfect. It's their first date and he wants to show him that friends can easily fall in love. All of their past encounters have been too friendly. Coffee with the girls, jam sessions with the Warblers, there is no intimacy to these settings. He needs to show him that friendship is nice, but dating can be so much better. So he goes to Rachel.
She brings a cookbook and the spine has never been creased. She's always been more of a baker. Kurt knows his way around the kitchen though and has a spread of hors d'oeuvres fresh out of the oven before she even makes it through the door. He probably makes these dishes for Finn all the time. She shakes her head and proudly lifts the tray of brownies she has prepared. Finn loves her brownies.
Kurt is surrounded by a sea of sizzling, bubbling, and steaming. He's drowning in it. Rachel effortlessly arranges cheese cubes into some ridiculously cute pattern and grins proudly. It's a cheese platter, he wants to exclaim dryly. He wishes it could come as easily to him. He tempers some eggs into his quiche batter as carefully as possible. He hopes that Blaine doesn't fill up on cheese.
Rachel sets the table. She's brought gold napkins because they highlight her skin tone and they're kind of her thing. Kurt thinks they clash with the centerpiece though. She smiles tightly and suggests adding some gold tinsel to tie it together. Kurt glares at her as if she's just insulted him.
Blaine is late and he's freaking out. Finn can't be late because he's been sitting upstairs all afternoon playing videogames through the preparation. He reminds himself of that every five minutes when he compulsively checks the clock on the microwave. Finn texts him again asking if he can come downstairs because he's really, really hungry. Rachel taps her foot impatiently and gives him a look as if he's ruining everything for her.
Finn doesn't even look at the cheese platter. Instead he just scoops up Beef Wellington Puffs and pops them into his mouth in an endless stream. She lifts the platter and tips it in his direction hoping to catch his eye. Instead he reaches for some of the crab cakes Kurt has also prepared. She tips the cheese platter to Blaine and he scoops up an assortment of cheeses graciously.
Kurt isn't certain, but he thinks that Rachel and Finn's chairs are positioned closer; like she's almost sitting in his lap their plates are so close. He looks over at Blaine who seems to be in the next room over. He considers finding a ruler to verify this. Blaine asks him why he hasn't touched his salad, but he seems so far away that he can barely hear him. Rachel lifts a tomato from her plate and feeds it to Finn with her fingers. Blaine seems like more than an arm reach away. He thinks that Rachel may have planned for this.
Blaine and Finn talk about sports while she and Kurt gather up the salad plates. Finn likes the NFL, while Blaine prefers college football, she didn't know that there was a difference. Blaine offers to help get the entrée out and Finn only reaches for another dinner roll. Rachel ignores the hopeful twinkle in Kurt's eye and demands that Blaine stay seated. If Finn isn't going to help than nobody can.
Finn tells Kurt that his quiche is awesome but when the tray is passed to Blaine he politely declines. He does take a healthy portion of salmon but scrapes the mango chutney away with the edge of his fork. "Finn will eat anything," Rachel announces. Finn cringes, "Except for Tofu, it's so spongy and gross." Kurt clings to this comment as if his life depended on it, "Blaine loves Tofu! We just love Sushi Thursday at Dalton. The Miso soup is incredible. Right Blaine?" Blaine takes a bite of naked salmon and silently nods. Finn continues to shovel food into his mouth like a garbage truck. Rachel frowns.
They send the boys into the living room while they set up dessert. Rachel looks for the crystal dish she had set aside for her brownies. When she finds it, she realizes that Kurt has already spread his strawberry shortcakes across it. He suggests just serving her brownies from the pan. Rachel feels as if she's just been slapped. She pulls a dirty plate out of the dishwasher and plucks each strawberry shortcake torte off the platter with her bare hands before slapping them onto the dish.
Kurt gasps and snatches the brownie pan. He scoops up the precut squares and mashes them between his fingers before dropping them into the awaiting garbage can. Rachel replies by hurling a strawberry shortcake torte against the wall. It splatters all over the stainless steel refrigerator, bleeding whipped cream and strawberry juice. Kurt throws the entire pan into the garbage can and closes the lid.
Rachel shrieks. She should have known that Kurt would sabotage her. To make dishes that would point out all of her flaws and remind him of how unworthy she was. She calls him out on it. On every detail. Kurt only holds an innocent hand over his chest and denies everything. She points out that he's been sabotaging her since day one. She can't believe that she ever considered him her friend.
Kurt yells. He should have known that Rachel would sabotage him. To sit so intimately close to Finn. To point out how in love and happy they were in contrast to how cold and distant he and Blaine were. He calls her out in it. Rachel only places her hands on her hips and glares. Everything is always about her he points out. She's been dismissing everyone since day one. He can't believe that he ever considered her his friend.
From the living room Finn flips on ESPN, the light of the TV flashes against the refrigerator like fireworks. It's quite the contrast to their argument, Rachel recognizes. "Should we do something?" She vaguely hears Blaine's worried voice suggest. "Nah, they'll calm down." Finn replies. She feels the sense of shame over take her. She's ruining everything all over again.
Kurt hears their voices too. The color drains from his face and he looks down to see brownie batter caked between his fingernails. He wants to die. He and Rachel look at one another helplessly. They're sabotaging themselves.
Finn lounges on the couch and flips through the channels. Outside Blaine and Kurt are out on the porch doing their own damage control. Rachel extends a plate of mashed up brownie. "This one didn't get any garbage on it," she offers. Finn grins and thanks her. She apologizes for freaking out and making a fool of herself. Finn doesn't mind. He likes it when she's passionate about stuff, even when it ruins dessert. He tells her that her brownies are his favorite and offers her a piece. She cringes because the brownie square has been completely ruined but accepts the bite. He says he had a lot of fun tonight and kisses her. It's perfect.
Blaine sits on the porch swing, rocking back and forth, not saying anything. Kurt thinks he may explode. "You don't have to try so hard," Blaine finally says, "to make me like you." Kurt frowns. "Because I already do," he adds. Kurt feels his heart flutter but wonders if it's too soon. "I appreciate that you do though, it makes me feel special." Kurt floats to the bench and sits beside him. They rock for a few moments in the silence of the cool spring night and Blaine's hand brushes his before covering it in its warmth. "Next time, I'll plan the date," he suggests. "Just the two of us." He kisses Kurt on the cheek leaving every one of his senses tingling. It's perfect.
She doesn't hear the front door open. She and Finn are still enjoying their first date rush. Their limbs are tangled and her lips are numb from all the kissing. Kurt clears his throat. She looks up shyly and jumps to her feet, straightening out all the creases of her dress before they draw too much attention. "Sorry," Kurt says simply and then turns to disappear into the kitchen. She feels awful for ruining his date and wants to fix things. She's ecstatic that she's repaired her relationship with Finn, but during the time that they were apart, the friendship she had forged with Kurt had become equally as important to her.
Kurt dumps the rest of the ruined desserts into the garbage and flinches as his eyes rest upon the rest of the mess in the kitchen. He grabs some Windex from beneath the sink and works on the fridge first. "I'm sorry," Rachel says. He tells her to go back and enjoy her time with Finn, that there's no reason for her to help him. She ignores him and begins loading dishes into the dishwasher. She tells him that this is more important. They clean in silence until they fall into a perfect synchronized machine of scrubbing and rinsing and drying. Together they're unstoppable. Kurt tucks the last dish into the armoire and is startled when he turns and Rachel is right beside him. She hugs him tightly and whispers that she loves him. He loves her too and he says that. But he never wants to date her again. She giggles, her eyes bright and beautiful and she agrees. "Just friends," she reminds him. "The best," he replies.