Once again, though I've taken a different path at the fork, I find myself back at the crossroads. I know it's the same one; I recognize that footprint, that X on the tree over there, and I'm pretty sure that's the gum I spat out two choices ago. When will I choose the path that's right – the path that will lead me out of this rut?
But then, that's just it, isn't it? There is no right path, for anyone. To be perfectly clear, there isn't a "correct" path. Maybe all there is to it, is not to worry about which one is correct, but which one is mine...and I'll find it. No matter how many crossroads it takes, I will find it. It has taken far too long for my eyes to open, but now that I can see clearly, I know that there will be plenty more mistakes ahead of me, but I also know that they will be mistakes that will lead me in the right direction.
I wish I could have known what I know now, back then, but all I can do now is look forward and move on. I have always been told to follow my gut, and that is what I am doing. Call me crazy, call me delusional, call me whatever you desire; he is alive, he is out there, and I will find him.
This is my path.
The scratching of pen-to-paper ended as the writing utensil was softly dropped on to the desk and the notebook shut. Blue eyes closed as a soft sigh escaped her lips, while she leaned back in her chair to stretch her stiff muscles. The ticking clock on her nightstand rang loudly inside her head as she glanced to look at the time.
Eleven thirty-seven.
Had an hour really passed since she had began the arduous task of writing her final journal entry? Yes, time surely flew by when she wrote down her innermost thoughts. Far too much for her liking.
Her silver haired guardian would be appearing soon – the same time as every other day – to check up on her. There was only twenty-three minutes left to finish packing her belongings and leave. It was a possible, but not very plausible task.
"Damn." She cursed softly, as she slowly moved out of the chair and walked to her bed, which now held a small bag and what was left of her belongings. Looking over everything, she pulled open a blank scroll and began setting her things neatly on to it. Fitting as much as she could, she made the designated hand signs to seal the items with her chakra, then closed the scroll and set it in to her bag next to the other two.
Pulling out the final scroll and setting her items down in the same fashion, she sighed and halted at the sudden burst of chakra closing in on her home as she glanced to the clock again.
Eleven forty-nine...He was eleven minutes earlier than usual.
"Kakashi," She looked to the door, where the silver haired jonin now stood.
"Ayame," He glanced to her bed, then back to the plum-haired teen. "I see...you're decision has been made then?"
When his question gave no elicit answer, he sighed and walked into the room while lazily scratching his head. "What about your team, Ayame – "
"We are no longer a team, Kakashi-san. Sasuke has left, Naruto has left, and Sakura is training under Tsunade-sama...Team Seven disbanded long ago."
"That's not true and you know it."
"I only know that I was left alone, and from that I learned many things. Trying to stop me won't do any good, I have made up my mind. I need this, I..." She hesitated slightly as she looked to the two katana leaning against the far wall. "I need to find out for myself, if it is true or not. Please, don't take this away from me."
His coal eye softened at her disheartened plea; a once vibrant soul was now dark, desolate, and alone. He couldn't stand it.
"I was left to look out for you, but I can see now that you are no longer the little girl whom needed a clutch to move forward. You have grown strong, and independent, and I no longer hold any control over you. If this is truly your wish, then I will not stop you."
"...Thank you, Kaka-sensei."
He smiled from under his mask, and walked over to the young woman who he had watch grow over the years; a slight pain arose in his chest from the thought of letting her go. "He will be proud of you, Ayame-chan. I believe you are the only person capable of finding him."
Nodding solemnly, she gripped her left forearm subconsciously and allowed his hand to ruffle her hair, much like Takashi had once done. "I've died,"
Kakashi furrowed his brows at her morbid response, unable to comprehend exactly what she meant.
"Tell everyone that I have died. Word will spread, and no one will look for the last remaining Sakamoto...or the swords I have inherited."
"Is that wise?"
"It's a catch twenty-two," She squeezed her arm tighter. "but it's a situation I am willing to risk, and Tsunade-sama agrees."
He closed his eye. "I see..."
"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."
Her eyes were closed as she released her arm and ran her fingers over the lone book lying against her now bare mattress; quoting one of the many memorable lines in the overly read story gave her an odd sense of comfort and longing.
He stood there, profoundly confused, but accepting of her current demeanor. At least she was talking more. "I remember when he gave you that book and how you absolutely hated the thought of reading it. Now look at you, quoting it and finding the meanings hidden between the lines."
She smiled softly. "You should read it sometime...I bet it's ten times better than that smut you are normally glued to."
"There is an actual storyline that's quite intriguing..." He deadpanned. "Tell me something, Ayame-chan."
She hummed softly, prodding him to continue.
"What is your reasoning? Why do all of this for someone who may truly be gone?"
"Well," She mulled over the answer carefully. "With him, life was routine; without him, life was unbearable."
Pulling the bag over her shoulder and grabbing the worn book, she stood in front of Kakashi with a smile as she handed him the item in her hand. "Read it, understand it, and then we will discuss why my book is so much better than yours when I return."
He let out a chuckle as he gripped the book with one hand and ruffled her hair once more with his other. "I look forward to that day, Little Ayame."
"Until then," With a nod, she made her hand signs and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the masked man to look around the barren room with a feeling of emptiness. All of his students were now gone and tending to their own matters, and he no longer knew what to do with all the extra time that had been bestowed upon him.
He was officially an empty nester.
"Things could have been so much different if you hadn't left, Sasuke-kun." He sighed to himself before taking one last glance out the window and also disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"So you have chosen to leave the village, then? Leave all that you know behind for the sake of revenge?"
"You don't know anything."
"I know that what you're doing is a mistake, Uchiha Sasuke."
"Has it truly come down to such formalities, Sakamoto Ayame?"
"Yes."
He smirked, finding amusement in her words. Sakura's rant had been just as annoying as he had expected, but the girl in front of him was definitely not following the mental script he had planned out. "Amuse me, Sakamoto. Tell me why I am being foolish."
She clenched her fists as her eyebrow unconsciously twitched at his lax behavior. "Do you think this funny, Uchiha?"
"There is nothing funny about any of this." He dropped his smirk as he glared intensely at his former teammate.
Glaring back with the same ferocity, she took a step forward. "Do you really think revenge is going to make everything better, huh? You've devoted your life to killing him, but that's not going to bring your family back, Sasuke – that's not going to make you feel any better. Once he's dead, what will you have to live for? Tell me that."
"I will live to restore my clan –"
"Of course you will, because in LaLa Land, Konoha will take you back with open arms! You'll be hailed a hero for killing the mass murderer of your clan, and everyone will forget that you became a traitor! Hooray!"
"Do not mock me."
She dared to take another step forward. "Mocking seems to be the only way through that thick skull of yours."
In a flash he moved behind her, much like he had done to the pinkette laying on the bench next to them, only this time, his opponent was much quicker and much smarter. She maneuvered in a way that blocked his fist at the same time she jumped away, successfully dodging his very serious blow.
"You can't just knock out all your problems, Sasuke. You want to be a man, then you need to face them like one."
He grit his teeth in annoyance as he grew increasingly more impatient with the girl. What was next? Would Naruto appear to try to coax him out reverie?
"Nothing you say is going to change my mind. I don't care about any of you."
A sharp stabbing pain pierced through her chest at his words, but she had to keep up her brave facade, if only for a little while longer. She knew she wouldn't be able to stop him; she wasn't someone he truly cared for...he wasn't some lovesick puppy that would do anything to make her happy. He was Uchiha Sasuke, an avenger. He only lived for himself.
She could at least try to make him feel somewhat bad about leaving, though.
"That's fine," She let down her defense as she gave him an impassive look. "Sakura and Naruto will always have faith in you, but the moment you step foot out of the village, I will no longer consider you anything more than a traitor. I will forget everything, I won't try to look for you, and I sure as hell won't try to bring you back. You will be nothing to me, Uchiha Sasuke."
"At least one member of Team Seven is smart," He turned away from her, and began his journey to the gate; but not before stopping and glancing back at her one last time.
"Give up on being a ninja, Sakamoto. Even if you somehow change your mind, you would never be strong enough...because you'll always be mediocre at best."
Without giving her a chance to respond, he disappeared in a flash, leaving nothing behind but hatred and resentment. She glanced to the passed out Sakura on the bench, and against her better judgement, lifted her onto her back with a grunt and began the long trudge to the girl's home.
In that moment, she knew that Team Seven was no more. Sasuke was gone, Naruto and Sakura were going to fight to bring him back, and she...well, she was going to focus on getting stronger. Just to prove him wrong.
Memoirs of Sakamoto Ayame
Looking back, I would have never imagined my life to be as it is now; I could blame Fate, or Destiny, hell, maybe even Karma. No, blaming anything other than myself would be completely ignorant, I was taught better than that (even if there are other parties involved in my misfortune). While I continue to live by the ever popular 'Carpe Diem', I can not help but to wonder if there truly is some preordained plan set out for me. Do we choose our own outcomes, or do we simply follow the path which has already been drawn? Had I been asked that question years ago, my response would have been automatic: "Only you can decide what happens in your life- nothing is simply handed out; if you want something, you must work for it. Live in the present, and untrust the future, because anything can change."
It's funny how people change though. As we continue to grow and mature, our once juvenile minds become hardened as we are exposed to many different scenarios. We learn that we are human, and that we are not invincible – mistakes happen, whether we want them to or not, and nobody is perfect. Yet, in the world of Shinobi, we are expected to be just that; taught from the tender age of childhood that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and second chances are few and far between. While we should have been maturing and exploring at our own pace, we were instead forced to grow up quicker than most, and put our lives on the line for our village. Shinobi are not born, they are made. Do not get me wrong, I chose this life and it's become a part of me...but if I was given the chance to change it, would I? Maybe things would have been better...Happier...
I would have never had to feel the pain I've felt.
She shut the notebook with a sigh as she rubbed her tired eyes. She was hot on his trail, and sleep had been pushed back in place of finding him quicker. It had been so long since she had felt his chakra signature, that she was afraid that if she fell asleep it would disappear forever and she would be left alone once again.
Her heart wouldn't be able to handle it.
"To think...he has been in the most obvious of places the entire time."
She closed her eyes at the voice, fighting to push him back into the depths of her mind. "You probably knew all along. You just enjoy seeing me suffer, don't you?"
The malicious grin was felt throughout her entire being as a deep chuckle resonated in her head. "Such little faith you have in me, human."
She scoffed while pulling out a pill from her leg pouch. "My exhaustion has released my hold on you, and sadly, I am in no mood for your snarky comments." Popping the pill in her mouth, she tried to ignore the tug she felt on her brain as the small object slipped down her throat.
Almost instantly, the energy lost from lack of sleep returned with a burst as she jumped to her feet and tightened her cloak as the snow began to fall with the howling wind. It wouldn't be much further until she reached the Land of Iron.
"I've finally found you."
A/N: Here it is, Chapter 1 to my Sasuke story! I think I may be making this a little bit differently than the others. As I want to be able to put the past in as well as the current Shippudden arcs, I may jump back and forth between times during a chapter...though, if that get's too confusing for the readers I can certainly change it! For now, I shall just experiment and hope for the best.
Reviews, critiques, or whatever else are much appreciated and give me the boost/confidence I need to write more chapters. ; )