So...this isn't really consistent with the manga or the anime. I'd say it's closer to the anime with the timeline, but I think Soul's tendency to be indecisive and over-think things is made more clear in the manga. But honestly I don't think it's really going along with either one... We'll just say it's "writer's right" (heh heh, I'm so punny) and let it go. ;) Besides, the important part about all of this is that ANIME FANDOM, I HAVE RETURNED!
Don't own Soul Eater. I don't even own the Netflix account I watched it on. That belongs to my roommate. But hey, whatever works, right?
The lyrics are all from the song Future Foe Scenarios by Silversun Pickups, another thing I don't own.
The things we laid do not amount to much
Made up of thought balloons and cotton swabs
When present tense gets strangled in the woes
Made of our future foe scenarios
Soul knows that, if ever necessary, he will give up his life to protect Maka. In the years he has been her weapon, he has proved it multiple times—and usually received a Maka Chop in response. Not that it changes anything, least of all his opinion on it. Soul has lived by this decision, considered it the one truth his existence revolves around, for such a long time that he no longer remembers a time in which he did not consider protecting her his duty. Only that's not quite true. It used to be about duty, but (although Soul has trouble admitting it even to himself) over the years, his determination to protect his meister has been fueled by his now-undeniable love for her. Because without even realizing it, Soul Eater Evans fell for Maka Albarn, and he fell for her hard. But now he knows. Oh yes, he most certainly knows.
Thinking about it, Soul scratches the back of his head, shark-like teeth flashing in a grimace. It's not that there's anything wrong with Maka. Well, okay, so maybe sometimes Soul wonders if she's the crazy one instead of him, but he's so used to her peculiar—and frequently violent—antics that he barely notices it anymore. And yeah, the fact that she has issues with trusting men romantically is a little bit discouraging, but considering that she has a total womanizer for a dad, it's really not that surprising.
No, Maka isn't the problem. It's the scenarios that Soul torments himself with that make him feel like a sword is being plunged straight into his heart every time he thinks about it.
Sometimes he imagines that, in a moment of temporary insanity, he tells her. He says it abruptly, bluntly, in a room lit only by the TV light: "I love you, Maka." And he says it because he knows there will never be a right time to tell her, so he might as well now, while he has the balls to do it. Maka's eyes widen in shock, then her face goes completely neutral. And Soul knows that he has lost her trust, that nothing will ever be the same again. That what they have—what they had—is over.
On the other hand, Soul has also come up with the polar opposite—almost. He says it slowly, softly, in a room lit only by candlelight: "I love you, Maka." And he says it because he knows it's right, he knows it's time. Maka's eyes don't widen. Instead, she smiles and Soul is so in tune with her that it only takes the gentle curve of her mouth for him to realize that Maka has known for quite some time and she loves him, too. She lets him lean forward and kiss her with reckless abandon and he thinks he has never been so happy, will never be so happy again. But when she tells him that she loves him too, Soul learns that he is wrong, that he can be happier.
And he is. They are. For a while. But then something goes wrong (and while the problem changes quite frequently, it usually revolves around Maka becoming convinced that they're going to turn out just like her parents and Soul being unable to convince her otherwise), which is when Scenario B becomes just like Scenario A, and every other scenario he's thought up: everything falls apart and Soul spends the rest of his life wishing he had kept his dumb mouth shut.
"Soul? Hey! Soul!"
Soul has a few seconds to compose his face into perfect apathy before Maka is standing in front of him, leaning forward. Her mouth is set in a small frown and it's so very close to his. So Soul does the most natural thing in the world:
"Hey, Tiny Tits," he says, "stop bending over like that. It's not like you have anything to show off." The Maka Chop that follows is entirely expected, totally deserved, and much more than welcome. It clears his head and Soul fights back a sigh of relief. Then Maka throws herself down on the couch next to him and Soul is right back where he started moments ago.
Not cool in the slightest.
No, Maka is not the problem. But Soul still thinks that having feelings for his meister really sucks sometimes.
The sound of metal clashing together echoes around violently in the cave. Soul feels Maka's grip on him tighten slightly as she slides back to the safety zone from the enemy attack. A snarl rips from Soul's throat. Maka is breathing raggedly and Soul knows that this battle is wearing his partner down quickly. More quickly than usual.
He curses in his head. She isn't fully recovered from the last fight. It was a particularly bad one with a particularly nasty witch that landed Maka and Soul both in the infirmary for a few days. He knew it was too soon to let her do this! But saying so isn't going to help.
"You got this, Maka," Soul says urgently instead. What he means is you have me. He's pretty sure Maka understands his unspoken words because she grits her teeth and straightens up, repositioning her weapon into an offensive position. If Soul could see his reflection, he would know that for a single moment, his heart is completely visible in his ruby eyes. His emotions disappear quickly, too quickly for anyone else to see either, replaced by a wicked smirk and a dangerous glint in his eyes to match.
They're going to take this freak down. It's going to be so damn cool.
He is wrong.
With a primal battle cry, Maka lunges forward and for a moment, Soul is completely sure that they have this, that this fight is going to go like most. They will be triumphant. But it doesn't take long for him to realize that Maka is more off her game than he originally thought. Way, way off. A blow from the kishin that she normally could have dodged with ease hits its target dead on and Maka goes flying backwards, crashing into a stone wall. She loses her grip on Soul, and he is sent in the opposite direction, but he still hears the sickening crack that sends a bolt of electric terror through his very soul.
Soul thinks he shouts her name uselessly, but whether he does or not, the kishin ignores him entirely. Frozen, Soul watches as it lumbers towards Maka's alarmingly still body. Her green eyes fly open, but she doesn't move a muscle. This is what finally frees Soul's body from its temporary paralysis and he changes back into his human form, jumping to his feet even before the flash of light has fully faded.
Time seems to slow as he runs towards where Maka lies. Soul is too focused on protecting his meister no matter the cost to think about the deja vu of this situation. It's a position he's been in on multiple occasions—and it tends to end painfully. In fact, the only time it hasn't was when it was Dr. Stein they were fighting so very long ago, and that was only because Dr. Stein was on their side the whole time. No, if Soul thought about it, he would think that what is about to happen will end much more similarly to the time he got his scar from Crona, the scar that reminds him every day of what he chooses to live—and maybe someday die - for.
This time, Soul is right.
The fist that sent Maka and Soul flying the first time crashes down and Soul makes it just in time to shove Maka out of the way. There's no time to defend himself, least of all fight back. He hears his bones snap a millisecond before he feels the mind-shattering agony. He is distantly aware that several his ribs and one of his arms are now broken. This knowledge does him no good.
Maybe he screams aloud. Maybe it's only in his head. Maybe he's too broken to even make a sound. Black dots appear suddenly, screwing with his vision. His hearing, however is perfectly fine so he does not miss the way Maka screams his name. It's the tone of her voice that tells Soul that things are just as bad as he thinks it is.
Not exactly encouraging.
What is encouraging is when a burst of light pierces the darkness and Kid leaps through the giant hole he has shot through the rocks. The storm of bullets continues, pushing the no-longer-attacking kishin back. Soul's eyelids are fluttering closed, but he forces them to remain open which is how he sees Black Star follow Lord Death's son, swinging Tsubaki who is in her enchanted sword form. The parallels to this and the incident in Italy with Crona are becoming uncanny.
Saved again. Damn. So uncool. If I don't die, Black Star is going to give me so much shit for this.
But then Soul realizes something that makes him smile weakly: Maka is safe. He has done his duty. Peace settles over him, peace that is shattered when someone starts shouting in his ear. Maka, it seems, has found enough strength to crawl over to her injured weapon. Blood is pouring down her face.
"What the hell was that?" she demands. It would be intimidating if she didn't look like absolute hell. Soul grits his teeth, knowing that speaking will hurt. But he wants to reply. He wants to ask her a question, and Soul desperately wants to know the answer.
"What," he wheezes, "do you think it was?"
"I think it was you being stupid!" cries Maka. Expected, but not really the answer Soul was hoping for. "Why do you do this, Soul? Why?"
They've been over this, so Soul knows he doesn't have to answer. He just strains to open his eyes so he can see her face, although the pain is starting to make everything blurry. He wishes he could see her more clearly. But Soul soon learns that he can see her clearly enough to notice the tears that trickle down Maka's cheeks. He wants to say something to make her feel better, but she speaks before he has the chance.
"I get it, Soul," she admits reluctantly. "I do. You think it's your job to lay your life down for me and nothing I do or say seems to convince you otherwise. So the real question is why can't you see? Why can't you see that losing you isn't any different than dying to me? Why don't you realize that I love you?"
Soul's world slows to a halt.
He doesn't notice that Maka is no longer the only one crying now. He doesn't notice that Kid and Black Star have defeated the kishin and are arguing over whose weapon gets the soul. He only knows that Maka just told him that she loves him and he has no idea how to react. In every scenario Soul has ever thought of, this has not how the first domino falls. Maka doesn't start this. Because, to be perfectly honest, Soul has never truly contemplated Maka really loving him back.
Has he hoped? Yes. Without question. Has he fantasized? More than he likes to admit. But has he ever really thought that she might love him? No. Not until now.
And Soul doesn't know what to do.
So even though it's not cool at all, Soul will later secretly be thankful that, when he tries to take a deep breath, the resulting agony is so powerful that he blacks out.
When Soul wakes up, the first thing he realizes is that everything hurts. Slowly, memories of how he ended up in what he is now aware is the school infirmary return. The kishin. Maka. Kid. Black Star. And finally—
Why don't you realize that I love you?
Soul tilts his head to the side, a small yawn beginning, and finds himself with a mouthful of hair which is how he realizes the second thing: Maka is curled up beside him on the bed, his uninjured arm wrapped around her sleeping form. Her head is settled on his chest which is probably why it aches so much, despite the painkillers that have numbed most of his broken body. He sees the bandage wrapped around her head and remembers the horrible sound that sends a wave of self-loathing through him. He fights down the sick feeling that rises, concentrating on how uncomfortable it is to have her hair in his mouth.
Nose wrinkling, Soul spits the blonde strands of hair out of his mouth. The motion causes Maka to stir, releasing a soft sound of protest against waking up. She turns her face upwards to look at Soul, eyelids heavy with sleep. Soul wants to kiss her so very badly, but he restrains himself by doing the most natural thing he can think of in such an unnatural situation:
"Hey, Tiny Tits," Soul says weakly. Maka sucks in a sharp breath and releases a cry, jerking her body into a sitting position, staring down at her partner in surprise. Then she starts freaking out, waving her arms and rambling like a crazy person. Or, well, like Maka.
With a silent groan, Soul closes his eyes and tries to fall back asleep.
No such luck.
Then Maka stops screaming and, despite the heavy numbness of his body, Soul struggles to sit up so he can face her. In the end, the most he can do is crane his neck slightly and stare up at the girl, at her bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair that is not in her typical pigtails and parted lips.
Why don't you realize that I love you?
As the words echo in his head for the second time since waking up, Soul's heart begins to pound wildly in his sore chest and he wonders if Maka notices that she's leaning back towards him. He sees her green eyes flicker towards his mouth and then he knows that yes, yes she most certainly has noticed. More than that...it's intentional. He also knows that she's about to kiss him, and Soul wishes dearly that he could be the one to close the distance, but he is all but paralyzed so he has to wait impatiently until the glorious moment in which her lips brush his lightly, timidly, hesitant for only a moment before they both lose themselves to just feeling.
Cool.
Maka pulls away first, and while Soul is reluctant to let her do so, there's really not much he can do at this point. Soul takes in a shuddering breath and feels the words on the tip of his tongue. But he hesitates. He tries to imagine what will happen. He tries to imagine the one scenario that, as crazy as he finds it now, has never occurred to him. Before anything can take form in his mind, Maka's fingers brush his cheek lightly.
Soul decides that there must be a reason he has not considered this possibility. Not ever. There must be a reason for this, he decides. So Soul will not think about it. He will not imagine all the ways that this could go wrong. He will have faith in this, in them. He will have faith in their future. And he will say something he has always wanted to say, in a way he never thought he would say it.
Hoarsely, Soul says, "I love you, too."
Maka smiles at him sweetly and kisses him again. When the kiss is broken this time, she says quietly, "Good. Now please, please, Soul, don't ever do that again." Soul gives a noncommittal grunt and now she is close enough so he kisses her, harder this time. His body is beginning to regain feeling.
The hand that is not trapped to the bed by the stupid cast on his broken arm raises to cup the back of her neck firmly and his fingers tangle in her hair. As much as Soul enjoys kissing Maka for the simple pleasure of it, this time he is hoping to distract her before she can force him to make a promise that Soul doesn't think he can keep.
Judging by the soft sigh she releases into his mouth when he parts her lips with his tongue, Soul assumes he has succeeded.
Soul would like to spend a long life with Maka, to grow up and get married and have kids. All that corny shit he will never tell anyone he thinks about, snippets of the future scenario he hopes for in the spare moments he has to himself. Yes, Soul wishes he could make this promise and keep it. But Soul hates the idea of breaking promises to Maka so he won't make one if he isn't sure he can keep it.
Because try as he might, Soul will never forget the scenario in which he must choose between Maka's life and his own. Whether it's because of his loyalty to her, the demon in his head, Soul cannot forget. Deep down, Soul knows that he will throw his body in front of Maka's again and again, every single time. He wants a happier future than that, but his desire for it does not trump the desire to protect Maka, no matter how selfish this desire has become given the drastic change in circumstances.
Because they have taken a giant step forward now. Everything has changed.
They pull apart, but not too far, and it hits him suddenly: Maka loves him. And she knows he loves her. The thought takes his breath away. She's so very close and all he wants is to take her face between his hands and—
"So, Octopus-head. Want to tell me exactly what you're doing with my Maka?"
Soul looks up to find Spirit leaning in the door way, looking ridiculously threatening considering the fact that he's usually nothing but annoying. It occurs to Soul that he hasn't thought about this moment in any of his previously thought up scenarios either. Instinct takes over and Soul smirks at Spirit in the way that only a boy caught kissing a girl by her father can. Maka is too busy blushing and stuttering to notice, but Spirit notices.
And despite the fact that Soul's life might end not defending Maka, but instead at the hand of her Death Scythe father, the weapon is not afraid of what the future holds. Perhaps he might be able to escape his fear of future scenarios after all.
And there's no way to know
Our future foe scenarios
That's when it turned on me
Where bobby pins hold angel wings
Reviews are nice :3 Hint hint. Nudge nudge.