Today would be the day that he would invite himself over for dinner at the Seragakis again after a long time of abstinence from Tae's excellent home cooking. At least that was the plan Koujaku had come up with since morning. Aoba seemed to have finally gotten over the incidents of Platinum Jail, which dated back over a year now. He hadn't wanted to talk to Koujaku about what exactly had happened then, but he looked kind of depressed ever since he had gotten back from there. Not to mention the whole month Aoba had spent holed up in his room afterwards, refusing to go outside or to respond to his coil for the most part and not even telling Tae what was wrong with him.
When Koujaku had asked Aoba what had happened to the gas mask guy who had accompanied Aoba to Platinum Jail, Aoba had broken down into a crying fit and the only thing he had gotten out of him was that the other had rescued him from Toue. The most important thing for Koujaku was that Aoba was save, but it seemed the other guy had not made it out of the tower alive before it had collapsed due to its main systems giving in - at least that was the conclusion that made the most sense considering Aoba's behaviour and the fact that Koujaku hadn't seen the white-haired oddball around Aoba anymore since then. He hadn't known that Aoba cared so much about him, but he was a very sympathetic person ever since he was a kid and he seemed to blame himself for whatever had happened in Oval Tower, too, so Koujaku could somewhat understand his condition. Aoba refused to tell him the details though, so the real events happening in Oval Tower stayed a mystery for Koujaku.
The more worrisome aspect for him was that Aoba wouldn't allow Koujaku to come over for the first couple of weeks he shut himself away from the world, so they couldn't talk properly with each other. If Aoba was really stricken with grief over the loss of the gas mask guy then Koujaku could relate to simply wanting to be alone with his pain, but Tae had told him that Aoba looked more and more desperate the longer it lasted, so he was really glad when Aoba's grandmother finally forced her grandson out of his room after a good four weeks had passed and Aoba finally had told her about his trouble - the details hadn't reached Koujaku's ears, though. It seemed to have been something very complicated indeed.
But at least Aoba had returned to Heibon afterwards and resumed working there, so it was possible to speak to him again. He still appeared to be fidgety, though, and sometimes it was all too obvious that he tried to act normal even though there was clearly something wrong with him. But it looked like Aoba had been able to let go of the worst part of the burden he had carried around with himself then.
Koujaku had tried to invite himself over to the Seragakis a few times before, while speaking with Aoba when they passed each other on the streets of Midorijima or at Heibon, but they had only ended up making small talk and the right occasion to bring it up seldom arose or Aoba looked troubled at the prospect, so Koujaku backed down every time. A surprise attack was out of the question, too, since Aoba might still need some more time to get over his issues, so Koujaku didn't try to pressure him. He wanted to give him the feeling that Aoba could come to him whenever he was ready to talk instead.
He had insisted on meeting with Aoba in front of his house at least once a month however, even if they might end up talking only for a few minutes over trivial things via Aoba's balcony or in front of his house.
And today four weeks had passed since his last visit and Aoba finally seemed to feel better, even laughing again. So maybe today they could have a proper talk over a bite of Tae's cooking then.
Koujaku hadn't deemed it necessary to announce his visit beforehand due to his visits' regularity now, but he was sure it wouldn't pose any problem anymore anyway.
Circling around the corner to get on the street to Aoba's home Koujaku suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.
Had he seen a ghost just now?
He could have sworn he knew the guy who featured that white hair and overcoat whit a yellow scarf around his neck, who wore dark gray pants and white boots and was carrying some heavy looking grocery bags in his arms.
But that couldn't be, could it?
Wasn't that just outright impossible?
Koujaku pressed his back against the wall surrounding the Seragakis' house and peeked around the corner in an attempt to catch a better glance of the guy he had just thought to recognize.
When he saw his side profile he was sure to spot a gas mask on the guy's face.
Was that... Clear?
But how was that even possible? Had he misinterpreted Aoba's behaviour that much? Of course Koujaku was happy to see the gas mask guy up and kicking instead of being dead but what had been been going on with Aoba for the past year then? Had Clear been in critical condition in the hospital instead? But as far as Koujaku knew the only person Aoba had frequently visited at the hospital had been Mizuki.
And why the hell was the white-haired weirdo doing grocery shopping for Aoba now?
Koujaku didn't know why all of that irked him so much but he needed some answers now - badly. So he quit the stealth mode and ran over to Aoba's front door, opening it without so much as knocking or announcing his presence and was about to run up to the kitchen he heard people talking from, when his manners kicked in after all and he wanted to at least take off his shoes before entering the house.
Aoba and Clear chose that same moment to come out of the kitchen, arguing with each other.
"Geez, Clear, I told you not to put that mask back on or you don't need to be surprised if some of the street vendors will refuse you service - most of them are nice old ladies that are easily irritated, you hear me?"
"But Aoba-san", Clear's voice echoed below his mask as he whined like a kicked puppy, "it's still so new for me to leave that mask off and I was in surrounded by a crowd of people and suddenly I felt so... exposed, like being naked in front of everybody. It was a pretty bad kind of feeling. It was scary."
Aoba turned around with arms akimbo and the preaching tone in his voice melted away with a sigh.
"Well fine, but at least take it off when you're around me, okay?"
Not waiting for an answer, Aoba took off Clear's mask in one go and revealed the rather handsome face of a young man with pink eyes and two moles on his chin. Aoba smiled at him and his voice carried a warm undertone.
"Way better."
Then he kissed Clear on his lips.
Koujaku let out a surprised gasp at the view and thus attracted attention to himself now.
"Koujaku!", Aoba exclaimed surprised to see his best friend kneeing on his doorstep and got red up to his ears as his brain caught on on what scene he had witnessed just now.
Clear immediately got flustered as well and stuttered.
"K-K-K-Koujaku-san?"
"What are you doing here?", Aoba asked and bit his lower lip, obviously uncomfortable about the whole situation.
Koujaku slapped on a strained smile and put his half-undone shoes back on at the same time.
"I was just thinking of inviting myself over to a bite of Tae's cooking, but I seem to have bad timing, so please excuse the intrusion. I'll be on my way out in a second."
"Koujaku!"
Aoba tried to keep him from leaving by grabbing his sleeve, but Koujaku pulled it out of his grasp with a swift gesture and stormed out of the house the next instant.
Shit!
Why was he so angry now?
No, it was more like being upset, but still...!
He didn't know the reason himself while he ran down the streets towards his home.
Clear was alive and Aoba seemed happy - those were two good news at once, but why had it hit him so hard to see them kissing?
Why was he so frustrated about the fact that Aoba seemed to have found somebody he wanted to be with?
Was it because he hadn't expected Aoba to like guys?
Was it because it was Clear - some odd, gas mask wearing guy that was too handsome to have any good reason to hide his face from the world? A guy Koujaku knew close to nothing about and thus couldn't deduce if he was good enough to be Aoba's lover?
Why did he feel so... betrayed by all of this?
Why...
Why couldn't it have been anyone else?
Why couldn't it have been... him?
Koujaku stopped himself from running at this realization and took in hasty breaths to try to get back some air back into his lungs.
So that's what it was then? He had wanted to be the one by Aoba's side all this time? He had felt more than friendship towards Aoba and just never realized it until now? No, that couldn't be right, of course he had known it deep down inside of him. But whenever his thoughts were directed that way he had shrugged it off as doting too much on his best friend. He had known Aoba since he was a cute, little kid after all. He had always tried to protect him from harm, so Aoba being close to his heart wasn't something unusual for Koujaku.
Just... that feeling of wanting to be more than just friends...
He hadn't taken such thoughts seriously until now. He had always been attracted to girls, he liked their softness, their cuteness, the way their skin felt on his.
But Aoba...
Aoba had always been special to him and the sole memory of his smile had saved Koujaku from the deepest pit of darkness he had found himself in once already.
If it was about him he could probably forget the fact that he was a man and just go with the flow of the moment should it ever arise.
Koujaku snorted at himself as his thoughts swept across his mind like a whirlwind.
What use was it to think about all of this now?
It was too late already.
Aoba had chosen somebody he held dear by now and judging from the way he had acted ever since Oval Tower it wasn't something that just popped up recently. He must have been in love with Clear for over a year now, had suffered because of him due to whatever incident had occurred to separate them and must be overjoyed to have him back by his side now.
Koujaku cursed under his breath that he begrudged Aoba's happiness and then he swore at the weather.
Did it have to rain now of all times, too?
He wiped at his face that had gotten wet only to realize that it wasn't rain but tears streaming down his face.
"Aoba..."
His voice sounded hoarse and broken to his own ears and Koujaku grit his teeth and spat out another curse before he continued on his way home, this time using side streets so as not to encounter any people he might know.
When he finally arrived at his house, the first thing he did was to open his liqueur cabinet and take out every sake bottle with high alcoholic strength he could find. Then he poured himself one cup, then another and followed through with this routine until his spinning, aching head and churning stomach nearly killed him. He just wanted to stop thinking about useless what-if scenarios and to get that image of Aoba kissing Clear out of his head. But it seemed that the more he drank the harder it got to keep those thoughts at bay. He was furious, he was sad. He was upset with himself the most for not having acted sooner and making Aoba his before it was too late.
He knew that he should be glad for Aoba happiness but he simply couldn't arrive at that conclusion yet.
After tormenting himself for hours Koujaku was finally able to cry himself to sleep, feeling absolutely miserable.
The next morning Koujaku felt like shit. His head hurt like somebody had hammered on it the whole night long, his stomach told him more than once that it wanted stuff to be out of it, not inside - even though Koujaku only tried to drink some water - and his general mood was close to depression.
Alcohol never helped - he knew that. He normally didn't drink like that, either. He was a man to drink for enjoyment, not to reach a devastated state like the one last night. But he hadn't been able to help himself then.
He certainly wouldn't be able to open shop today and messaged his Benishigure members to tell the ladies probably already waiting at the usual spot that he wouldn't be there today.
Unable to do anything else he took in some pain killers and sipped some tea to calm down his stomach, but still spent the whole day between bed and toilet, railed against his fate and cursed his own stupidity.
Koujaku woke up from a weird dream in the middle of the night.
In his dream the one kissing Aoba's lips wasn't Clear but him and Aoba liked the way Koujaku kissed him a lot, giving in to the pleasure in no time and moaning his name. Koujaku had then proceeded to undress him and to caress his body while he tasted his sleek hair he had dreamed of touching ever since childhood. Aoba's naked skin had felt warm and soft to his touch as well, but in the middle of showering Aoba's whole body with kisses Clear had shown up from nowhere and Aoba had instantly wanted to be held only by him, kissing and hugging him like there was no tomorrow. Koujaku had been furious beyond compare, but the moment his rage had reached its peak and he wanted to tear his rival to shreds he had woken up bathed in perspiration with a burning, aching feeling on his back. Trying to shake off the dream's afterglow, he sensed a very frustrated feeling below his waistline as well.
"Shit...!", Koujaku cursed and decided he needed some fresh air. His headache was still close to killing him and with throwing up the whole day before, the pain killers had have close to no effect obviously. Getting dressed while lowly grumbling to himself he took a bottle of water with him to sip on it now and then while he walked to at least get some water back into his system.
The streets of Midorijima weren't completely dark even at night, although the district Koujaku lived in wasn't the one chosen for the wild night parties other areas of Midorijima were well-known for, but Koujaku didn't encounter many people and the ones he passed by luckily had no interest in him.
If it happened by chance or Koujaku had directed his feet there unconsciously he didn't know, but when he looked up to realize where he had gone while lost in thought he found himself standing in front of Aoba's house.
Angry at himself he exhaled through gritted teeth and wanted to turn on his heels when Aoba's balcony door opened and he stepped outside alongside Clear. Koujaku hurriedly pressed his back against the outer wall of the Seragakis' home so as not to be spotted from the other's point of view.
"I really hope that Koujaku is okay. He didn't answer any of my messages and he didn't open up shop today so I couldn't meet him. Maybe I should have stopped by his place after all.", Aoba sighed and squeezed his hands together that he had put on the balcony railing. Clear put his gloved hands on top of Aoba's' and nuzzled his hair.
"I'm sure Koujaku-san will be fine, Aoba-san. He probably needs some time for himself. At least that's what I'm deducing by the way he was acting after he saw us being intimate with each other."
Clear's voice sounded sadly, almost rueful, but it enraged Koujaku even more for some reason.
"Yeah, you're right. It might have been a bit much for him to see us like this. I mean Koujaku is my best friend and all the time I was sad while you weren't there he tried to console me and then he shows up at my doorstep and sees the two of us like this without me being able to prepare him for anything. I mean...", Aoba sighed heavily and buried his face in the nape of Clear's neck, "I couldn't even properly introduce you to him or the fact that you're alright again after all that had happened."
"But I already know Koujaku-san. Why would you need to introduce me to him then, Aoba-san?", Clear asked in confusion and Aoba looked up to him flustered.
"I-I mean as... lo-lovers... you idiot.", Aoba mumbled in an embarrassed tone.
"Ah...!"
Clear finally got what Aoba wanted to say and his cheeks reddened at Aoba's words.
"Aoba-san...! You're so cute...!"
He couldn't help himself but to kiss him all over his face while Aoba struggled in his arms.
"C-Clear...! No, stop it! Not out here-ungh...!"
Aoba's protests died down immediately when Clear caught his mouth and slipped his tongue in between Aoba's lips.
Koujaku tried not to concentrate on the low sounds of them making out in vain and his hands cramped around the bottle of water in his hands frightfully tight - it even might crack if he gripped it any harder.
Clear finally let go of Aoba's lips and scooped him up in his arms, carrying him princess-style towards Aoba's room.
"Let's continue indoors, Aoba-san."
"Le-let me down, you idiot-Clear!", Aoba protested but Clear only laughed at him in amusement and carried him inside, shutting the balcony door behind them as he went.
"Damn it!"
Koujaku finally let out a curse and threw the bottle of water on the pavement where it shattered to pieces.
He banged his fist against the wall he stood against, not minding the pain, and then pushed himself away from it to head in the direction he had come from.
Not watching where he was going he bumped into another person now of all times, too.
"Ugh! Oi, watch where you're going!", the young man grumbled against his chest and Koujaku jumped a step backwards in irritation.
"Agh, excuse me. I didn't look-", Koujaku tried to sort his thoughts again to piece together a proper apology when his eyes caught a fierce, light green stare directed at him.
"Wait, aren't you... Noiz?"
"Ugh, well congratulations to your brain still working, old man."
The other seemed very annoyed about having met him, but Koujaku didn't want to have any of it at the moment and instantly became even more angry.
"What are you doing here at this time of night? Little kids ought to be asleep already."
"Tche!", Noiz spat out and retorted, "Can't a grown-up guy take a walk during the night anymore?"
"Hmpf, well you ended up in front of Aoba's house - coincidence?"
That accusation was far-fetched enough to even sound stupid to Koujaku's own ears. He had been the one who bumped into Noiz after all and had made him stop. The other probably had no intentions to give his current location as much as a single thought while he was on his way to whatever destination. But Koujaku had the strong urge to punch somebody in the face and when an argument arose between the two of them that gave him an excuse to let go of his anger, he would gladly provoke anyone now - childish as it might be.
"Huh?"
Noiz rose one eyebrow and looked as unimpressed as ever, not seeming to be the least interested in playing games with Koujaku right now. Giving Aoba's house a short look, he recognized the familiarity of the building.
"Ah... yeah, maybe that's it. What does it matter? I was just passing by anyways. What do you even care if it's his house I'm passing by? Are you his babysitter or what?"
"Says the guy who once broke into Aoba's room!", Koujaku snorted and then added with a sly grin on his face: "At least I care enough for my friends to keep an eye open who they're hanging out with. But I guess a shut-in, unsympathetic guy like you wouldn't care. You probably lack the capability to produce such feelings, huh?"
Koujaku didn't even care anymore what he was saying as long as he could get rid of of part of his burning fury. But then he saw the shocked look in Noiz' eyes that was quite unbecoming for the usually stoic face he put on most of the time. If Koujaku looked closer he even seemed... hurt? Had he gone too far with what he had said already? Damn this headache that made it so hard to think straight now!
Noiz backed away from him slightly, clearly in defense-mode, and growled at him.
"Are you... drunk? I'm not talking to drunk people! Get out of my way!"
In his attempt to turn on his heels to head for a different direction than Koujaku's, Noiz made a hasty movement with his feet and suddenly fell to the ground. Koujaku looked at him puzzled but then realized that the other must have slipped on the shards of the bottle he had so carelessly thrown to ground earlier. And now the other lay there and blood seeped out from his legs.
"Shit...!", Noiz cursed and drew up his legs, pulling out a few shards that had pierced his skin even through the fabric of his pants and stood up again seemingly uncaring for his wounds even though he bled quite strongly immediately.
"Oi...!", Koujaku called after him, feeling responsible for the whole affair and wanted to make sure Noiz was okay, his fury having been replaced with guilt and worry in an instant. Noiz didn't stop however, not even walking with a limp - maybe due to pride. But it must hurt like shit if the blood on the shards he had pulled out were any indication for how deep the glass had pierced his skin, plus he had fallen down on it with his whole body weight, so the damage must have been quite serious.
"Hey, didn't you hear me? Wait up!"
Koujaku finally caught up to Noiz and grabbed him by his shoulder to make him turn around and stop.
"Let me take a look at those wounds, okay? You're hurt, right?"
Noiz pulled away by half turning his body and looked back at him fiercely.
"No, thank you. If I leave it alone it will heal and I don't need your faked sympathy!"
He tried to get away, but Koujaku grabbed at his wrist instead now.
"Hey, wait. At least listen to me, okay?"
He sighed heavily and scratched his back of the head in an attempt to sort his thoughts through his headache-drumming brain that felt like cotton was stuffed into it.
"I'm sorry I said those things earlier. You're right, I'm drunk and it's because the last few days were shitty as can be for me. But that's not reason to let it out on you so at least let me help you, okay?"
Noiz looked at him like he wanted to discern if Koujaku was telling the truth - or if he was in his right mind to be more honest, seeing as he had just made a one-eighty in his behavior. He seemed a bit bewildered by the fact that the other had just apologized to him for the way he had treated him as well. Still, Noiz was not in intending to let the other touch him and pulled away again.
"Okay fine, apology accepted. Can you stop bothering me now? I don't need anyone's help treating my injuries. I can do it by myself just fine. And why do you care about me anyways? It's my fault that I fell."
"Yeah, but it's my fault those shards lay there in the first place.", Koujaku countered and looked at Noiz with his mind made up.
"Look, no matter what you say, I'll see you home and I want to know that you're treating those injuries right instead of just leaving them alone. These cuts look quite deep and if it becomes infected you could loose more than just a little blood, you hear me? And I don't want to be responsible for that. So stop playing the hard man already. It must hurt quite bad, right?"
Noiz put a sour look on his face and even seemed to pout. On the one hand he had the strong urge to just make a run for it and be done with Koujaku's meddling, on the other hand it might hold true what he had said and his injuries might be worse than he thought them to be - it was hard for him to judge that kind of thing. He sighed. It was probably the easiest solution to let that guy have his way and allow him to mother him for a bit this time. It was a real bother to convince drunk people that their ideas were stupid anyways. It was kind of ironic that Koujaku of all people was so insistent on wanting to help him; it was nearly comical when he thought about it. Maybe he could use that against him later on should the need arise.
"Fine, have it your way, but then you'll stop to annoy me, got it?", Noiz finally answered him with an unnerved look on his face and Koujaku gave him a smile that Noiz hadn't expected at all and didn't know how to react to it other than to break eye contact.
Koujaku was happy that the other finally had accepted his offer to help him and that he could redo at least one of his mistakes today - even if it concerned that annoying Noiz-brat. But he was the adult between the two of them so he felt like he should act like it at least in this kind of situation.
They had to walk for a while to reach the district Noiz lived at but it was still closer than Koujaku's own home, which relieved him for two reasons. One was that he didn't have to bring the brat to his own home to treat him to get it over with faster and the other was that it meant less time spent on walking to their destination, since Noiz' legs looked really bad by now. Koujaku even seriously considered carrying him if necessary by now - it would have just been hard to sell that idea to the other who looked as unimpressed as ever with the situation, even if the lower part of his pants were soaked in blood by now and it hurt just to look at him walking around like that. How Noiz could give off the aura like nothing was wrong with him was beyond Koujaku's understanding.
The building Noiz lived in looked pretty run-down from the outside and very small from the inside. Though "small" might have been the wrong choice of word, since the living room was packed over and over with things Koujaku didn't know the names of, but that looked very technical to him. He could discern various monitors, computer towers and keyboards and some speakers at least. As for the rest of the technical stuff crammed into every nook and cranny of the room he had no idea what it was called or used for. But it still looked amazingly clean for a young guy living on his own; there was no food debris or garbage thrown about as he had half expected it from a computer nerd of Noiz' caliber. Even the annoying cubes Noiz liked to spy on people with were stacked neatly in one place, though a few of them seemed to have been used as building bricks for small towers or something like that. It was almost endearing - Koujaku had to cough at his own thoughts at that moment. Noiz might have been many things but "endearing" sure was far from it!
There stood a bed in one corner of the room as well, halfway isolated by a bookshelf-like room divider - it was nearly bewildering to find actual books made of paper stored in there, considering the fact that Noiz usually preferred digital monitors to gather any kind of information with. So the brat read from time to time, too, it seemed. Just the language the titles were written in was something Koujaku didn't understand - it was clearly not Japanese, the letters were in Latin script, but it wasn't English either, or Koujaku would have recognized at least a few words of it. So Noiz was some kind of a multilingual genius on top of all of it, too?
Koujaku felt the old aversion against Noiz crawl up his spine again, but then he shook his head to get rid of that. He wasn't here to judge the guy's lifestyle or hobbies. He was only here to make sure the brat would treat his wounds properly since he felt responsible that he was hurt.
Then he heard footsteps behind him and Noiz stood there with a first aid kit he had brought from the bathroom.
"So let's get this over with then, shall we?"
"Yeah."
Koujaku nodded and took the first aid kit.
"Take a seat somewhere, so that I can have a proper look at you."
Noiz grumbled in response and took a seat on the bed, which seemed to be the only elevated place in the living room aside from a low table on the floor. Koujaku placed the first aid kit on the table and took out some antiseptics, a cloth and bandages before he headed over to Noiz and knelt down in front of him.
"Mh... Maybe it would be better if you took off those pants after all. I can't see a thing like this.", he uttered with a critical look at the dirtied and blood-soaked fabric and earned himself a chuckle from Noiz.
"Heh? I see how it is. So is this the real reason you wanted to accompany me here? So that I can take off my pants in front of you?"
Koujaku got flustered and felt misunderstood.
"Of course not, you idiot! I just can't see anything, that's all! Besides, you're a guy, what should happen?"
Noiz already was about to undo his belt to take off his pants and leggings but had to jab back.
"Says the man who looked heartbroken over the fact that he met me in front of Aoba's home at some late night time."
Koujaku growled at him.
"Just for your information: Aoba and I are best friends for ages now and I like girls, I always have. Are we clear?"
Still, as he said that Aoba had always held a special place in his heart and as hard as it was to admit to himself, he currently was heartbroken as Noiz had mentioned it, because he had developed feelings beyond friendship for his best friend without allowing himself to notice it before Aoba had gotten himself a lover. Therefore Koujaku could not deny the possibility that under certain circumstances he might make exceptions when it came to gender. But if any, then surely not for that brat right in front of him who sat there in just his underpants now, even if his naked legs were quite nice for a guy - albeit a bit bloody - as they dangled right before his nose now-The hell was he thinking?!
The alcohol still circling in his system must have made him all weird.
This was stupid!
He was here to treat the kid's wounds, so that's what he was going to do now!
It would be best to wash away the blood first, though, so Koujaku got up to wet the cloth from the first aid kit in the kitchen sink and then carefully wiped away the blood on Noiz' legs. He expected Noiz to jolt up and cry out in pain when he came close to a wound, but the other just stared down boredly at him. Maybe he was really not that responsive to pain after all. A few small glass shards still seemed to be left in some of the wounds though, so Koujaku pulled out some tweezers from the first aid kit, sterilize them provisionally and then looked up to Noiz.
"This might sting, but please try not to pull your legs away abruptly or I might harm you even more, okay? If it hurts too much, just tell me and I'll stop."
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine, just go on.", Noiz commented on the whole situation, making Koujaku get angry at the fact that he just tried to act with caution. Still he tried to be as careful as possible as he pulled the leftover shards out. Then he used some more antiseptic to disinfect the cleaned-up wounds and gave all of them a scrutinizing look.
"Well it seems it's not so bad after all, aside from one of these cuts that looks quite deep. I think I'll need to stitch that."
"Stitching? You know how to do that?", Noiz seemed awfully interested in the subject, but he didn't seem worry about Koujaku's proposal, which in turn worried him to some extent.
"Well yeah, I can do that for you, but a doctor might be a better choice, just so you know.", he explained while putting some plasters on the less harmful looking wounds and dressed the larger ones.
"How do you even know how to do that?"
Noiz' voice took a turn from curious to skeptical, making Koujaku snort through his nose lowly.
"Well, I'm the leader of a Rib team and sometimes things just get really ugly when you fight for your turf. If we'd run to the hospital with every little thing, we would be penniless in no time. Plus, the police would probably know where we are then, too. Aside from that..."
Koujaku looked away, his view caught at the scars on his hands.
"I've made some first-hand experiences with cuts, so I know what I'm doing, don't worry."
He got up and took another look at the first aid kit on the table.
"There isn't anything in here for stitching, so I guess we'll have to use the stuff I carry around."
He reached for the small bag he carried around his waist that mostly contained tools for cutting hair, but in a small fold put in between there was a folded piece of paper he took out, unfolded it and revealed a small hook-like needle attached to some nearly invisible string. Koujaku sterilized the needle with some of the antiseptic and then crouched down in front of Noiz again.
"This will sting, maybe quite badly, but try to hold still, okay?", he warned his patient but Noiz only gave him a shrug and a humming sound of having understood.
Honestly, his though-man-act annoyed the hell out of Koujaku by now and he seriously hoped the brat did really have enough nerve to endure being stitched up without any anesthesia. Surprisingly enough for Koujaku though, Noiz didn't flinch even once until the was done and he could finally bandage up the remaining wound, too.
"It would be best if you see a doctor in a few days for the stitched wound at least, so he can take a look at it and remove the thread.", Koujaku advised him as he got up. "Plus, watch out that none of these wounds get infected, got it?"
"Yeah, yeah. Thanks, I guess.", Noiz answered him waving his hand with his usual disinterest that made even his rare words of gratitude sound irrelevant.
Koujaku let out a huff through his nose, then he sighed deeply as he scratched his back of the head again and turned on his heels, heading for the door.
"Fine then, good bye."
Opening the door and being on his way out, he turned around again after a thought struck him.
"Ah! And don't try to walk around too much too soon, or the wounds might reopen aga-"
Half turning around during his speech, he saw Noiz up and about as he was collecting his pants from the floor in a position bending his knee and putting his full weight on the badly injured leg, causing blood to immediately spill out and darken the bandages.
"AH! What did I tell you? Are you an idiot?!"
He slammed the door shut and rushed back to forcefully put Noiz back into a sitting position on the bed. Having lost his patience now, he growled at him with a hyena-like smile clearly showing his teeth.
"You know, you really get on my nerves with that. Don't you have any body awareness at all or what? The wounds must hurt, you should listen to your body when it hurts. It's trying to tell you that something's wrong with it and that it needs time to heal again. That includes trying to stay still when you've got wounds that bleed like fuck and not to move around like always!"
He slapped a hand on his forehead, shaking his head.
"Man, why are you acting like this? Do you like pain so much?"
"No.", came the dry answer and Koujaku looked up to him, surprised to see a rather angry expression on the other's face.
"I don't like pain and it's not like I'm harming myself on purpose. Now just get out and leave me alone. You got your part of the good Samaritan acted out already, right? So why are you still here? What do you even care anymore?"
Koujaku was baffled by Noiz' recklessness against himself and his negating of other people's good intentions like it was all just a hassle for him. His face turned serious and he digged his nails into Noiz' shoulders as he held him down.
"Now answer me honestly, please: You say you are not hurting yourself on purpose, yet you are clearly not showing any signs of watching out for yourself or the wounds you already have on your body. Why is that? Why are you that inconsiderate against yourself? Why don't you care?"
"That's none of your business!"
Noiz tried to lash out at him, but Koujaku held him back by overpowering him and forcing him to keep still.
"Maybe, but it grates on my nerves! I just don't get it! Plus, you probably just waisted my effort of stitching your wound by moving around like you didn't care and opened it up again. You're self-destructive!"
"Just let me be!", Noiz strained against Koujaku like a mad man and was finally able to break his hold on him, making Koujaku loose his balance and fall on his back with Noiz trying to kick at him, but Koujaku grabbed his leg in time, before he realized that he just pressed his hands on a spot with cuts that immediately bled under his fingers.
"Oh shit...!", he let go and rolled to the side, looking worried at Noiz' reopened wounds. "God, look at this! What the hell is wrong with you?! Doesn't it hurt?! Can't you feel anything?!"
"That's right!", Noiz barked at him, finally having lost his temper and giving off a feral kind of aura, "If you have to know by all means then just know it: I can't fell pain for fuck's sake! It doesn't hurt - end of story! Now go on and say it: I am a monster - a freak of nature! Say it and be done with it and leave me be for good this time!"
Koujaku was completely baffled at Noiz' declaration that he couldn't feel pain and the way he reacted towards him like he was about to reproach him for his bodily condition.
How was something like not being able to feel pain even possible?
Was something wrong with Noiz' body? Or with his head?
Feeling pain was a nerve thing, wasn't it? So... his nerves didn't work properly? Or the connection between feeling the pain with his body and actually registering it in his brain didn't function?
Koujaku hadn't heard of a condition like that before, but it puzzled him to think about it.
If you couldn't feel pain...
He looked into Noiz' enraged eyes and remembered the words he had thrown at him only a moment before, calling himself a "freak of nature" and a "monster".
Koujaku let out a sigh through his nose.
A monster, huh?
Koujaku's facial expression changed to a sad, self-ironic look as he stared absentmindedly into an unfixed point in the room trying to sort out his jumbled up thoughts before he looked back at Noiz again.
"A monster? ...You're not a monster. A monster is... something that acts on raw emotion and hurts others without caring while blindly screaming for more when it's already bathing in its victims' blood... You... You just have a body that won't listen to all the sensations out there. That makes you different, but it doesn't make you a monster."
Noiz looked at him like he had gotten clobbered. His eyes had gone wide and his mouth hung open, speechless.
Koujaku scratched at the back of his neck as he tried to put his thoughts into words.
"It's... problematic, isn't it? I mean, theoretically you always have to be extra careful not to hurt yourself, since you won't realize it if you damaged a part of your body. It's quite scary to think about it."
Remembering the way Noiz acted despite his condition made Koujaku all the more angry for some reason now and he went on with a preaching undertone in his voice.
"So be more careful, honestly. Your body might be more difficult to handle than an average person's but it's the only body you have, so you should try to look after yourself some more. Negating your body's needs will only injure you more in the end."
Sighing deeply for one last time, Koujaku turned towards the door again.
"But you probably don't care what I'm telling you anyways. But don't come to me crying when your legs start to rot from the inside out because they became infected since you behaved like a stupid brat."
Koujaku closed the door behind himself without looking this time and hoped that the prospect of Noiz' wounds getting worse to a point beyond repair might help him think about his wellbeing some more. Although Koujaku didn't really believe something like Noiz' wounds would develop in that direction, since he had treated them with care and even if the stitching had gotten loose now, the worst outcome might be some ugly scar. Still, he was at his wits end what to say to Noiz, so maybe it helped a bit.
Stopping himself in his line of thoughts, Koujaku wondered why he was even spending so much time thinking about Noiz now - he didn't particularly care for the kid to begin with. If anything the brat was constantly getting on his nerves with the way he acted like he didn't care about anything. But then again... if you couldn't feel pain that meant you had no idea how others felt when they were hurt either, right? But did his condition include not being able to feel emotional pain as well? Koujaku somehow couldn't believe that. Noiz' lack of sympathy must have had another cause.
For some reason Noiz' words rung in his ears again: "Now go on and say it: I am a monster - a freak of nature!"
"A monster, huh?", Koujaku muttered to himself while his feet led him on his way home and he was lost in thought.
Being called a monster... Koujaku could relate to that, albeit for different reasons. But the bottom line was that others shunned you, were grossed out with you and didn't want to have anything to do with you. And... that you hated yourself for it.
"Shit...!"
Koujaku cursed as he went, being down to an extent he hadn't wanted to be. And he was frightfully sober at the moment, too. He wished he didn't have to think about any of this right now.