A/N: I have some ideas for this that I've yet to type, but I have a pretty good idea on how this'll play out.

Disclaimer: The show and its characters belong to where it legally belongs, i.e. not me.

Prologue: Debunking Cinderella

Are you familiar with the story of Cinderella? Of course you are, silly, unless you live under a rock for most of your childhood.

That's just sad.

So for those who aren't familiar (is that even possible?), it's about a girl called - you guessed it - Cinderella who was exploited into slavery by her step-sisters and step-mom. Then one fateful night, she was whisked away by Prince Charming after a series of events involving a plump fairy godmother, a pumpkin transformer, a handful of annoying mice, and a pair of impractical glass slippers.

At least, that's what Walt Disney showed us.

Of course, not every happily ever after is complete without a conflict that involves one protagonist running away and leaving behind a glass slipper that'll eventually be the key into finding each other again.

Pftttt, what a load of crap.

I mean, really? That's awfully unrealistic.

I know, I know. You're probably saying: "Hey moron! It's a fairy tale, for christ's sake."

First of all, I'm not a moron, although I've made more mistakes than I care to admit. I'm just trying to make an accurate observation here, people, so let's not resort into name-calling.

Second of all, fairy tales are for children, right? At least that's what I gathered from watching Disney when I was younger.

So, I ask you this, my fellow-minded adults: are you that heartless that you would wish to continuously expose your kids into a world of fantasy that, when they eventually grow up, will cause them to have unrealistic expectations in life?

Because that's exactly what these stories are doing: they're setting up an unrealistic future scenario that'll probably disappoint and depress these children if their life didn't turn out like those in fairy tales.

Lastly, the story is awfully dodgy and full of bad metaphors. I mean, a fairy godmother who just showed up out of nowhere to aid a distressed maiden? Pffft, more like a pimp scouting and grooming a less-fortunate girl to be a "professional escort" if you ask me.

Am I right? Of course I am, you naive person.

And helpful, talking mice? More like a metaphor for slaves who were looked down as sub-humans that they became comparable to stinky, dirty rodents.

That's inhumanely evil, you villain.

Transforming pumpkin? More a metaphor for how much the girls are willing to fake just to catch a good man. Or, it could be a really good acid-trip.

Yeah, let's go with acid-trip, you druggie.

And glass slippers? Before getting into that, I wanna explain why the woman of old times made sure to cover their ankles and feet. Exposing their ankles and feet is similar to, well, flashing. So, you can imagine how the boys get excited when they get a peek of that.

Knowing all this, do you realize how having an almost transparent glass slippers is comparable to having a see-through brassiere?

It's so... medieval-dirty, you pervert.

Of course, you would probably say that I'm being ridiculous and making up baseless theories behind a perfectly innocent story. Fine, assuming that I am, but do you know what else you're doing? You're drilling into the minds of these impressionable children that there's only black and white in morality.

By exposing them to these atrocious fairy tales, you're subjecting them to bigotry.

For example, how about second chances? Like, what the hell happened to the step-sisters and the step-mom after Cinderella's happily ever after? Did Cinderella ordered a hit on them because she's rich now? Or did she forgave them?

There's nothing in the story about forgiveness, so ha! Take that!

Also, did the prince even knew of the step-sisters' names? Is he even aware of how they're also pinning for his attention?

No! Because he only has eyes for the beautiful Cinderella whom he only met for a few hours in a manner that seems suspiciously like an anonymous hook-up.

Yeaahh... Did you even think about that?

And are you people even certain that the step-sisters are only after his wealth and not because they genuinely like him? How sure are you that Cinderella is not a gold-digger herself, only with an unfortunate life? Wouldn't it make more sense that she's hungry for revenge and desperate for escape from her miserable life that she schemed her way into the prince's affection?

Maybe the story is a cover-up; a ploy of Cinderella to ensure that she is portrayed as the innocent and charming little girl and not as the gold-digger that she could be.

That makes much more sense to me.

But nooo, that's not how it goes. Because it's all about Cinderella: the pretty, vulnerable, amazing girl with a golden heart.

You're probably all confused about my - amazingly accurate - tirade about this story, like it did me personal wrong.

Well, it did.

You know why? Because I'm the step-sister in this awful Cinderella-like story.

My name is Lucy Quinn Fabray, and I'm about to tell you a tale of how I fell in love with Princess Charming and how I never stood a chance right from the start.