A/N: This is a nice little one-shot that I had written for this new year. It's sweet, and a little fluffy at the end. I hope everyone likes it. Sorry if I have any grammar mistakes I don't know how many times I re-read this one-shot. I only stopped because I kept making it more fluffy each time. Enjoy! and please don't forget to review if you liked it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.
(Tori's Pov)
I've never thought of myself as special. I have a good family, amazing friends, but there's something lacking.
I have this empty feeling in my chest and it doesn't go away. At first I thought that it was because I'm the youngest, because my family wasn't always there for me. But my older sister, Trina, always looks out for me. In her own way. She always tries to be there when I need her, but trying sometimes isn't enough.
It's not like I'm in depression or that I hate my life. I know I'm blessed compare to the life of others, and I don't take my life for granted, but this feeling doesn't go away. I always try to help others because I don't want anyone to have this feeling, like I do.
When I entered Hollywood Arts that feeling went away but only for a while. I felt truly happy, it didn't hurt to breathe, but there were days when this feeling wouldn't go away. I ignored it, I try to spend as much time with my friends, but this feeling kept growing and growing. I tried doing the only thing that I love, singing. But it still kept growing, and before I realized it my whole personality was fake.
I slowly started to keep things to myself, my thoughts became more confused, and I still didn't understand. What this feeling was or why I felt empty. I stopped hanging out with my friends, I stopped being myself. And that's why today in this New Year's Eve I'm alone. Hard to believe right? Tori Vega, the friendly girl, the caring girl, alone on the start of a New Year.
I'm alone at my house, my parents decided to celebrate the New Year with my grandparents. I faked being sick, and being the amazing parents that they are they let me stay alone in this house. Right now I'm alone in my couch drinking one of my dad's expensive wine bottles.
I look at the clock and notice that it's almost midnight. I fill my wine-cup again and just before I took a sip of my drink I heard footsteps coming from one of the rooms.
Was it possible that someone broke in? I grab my cellphone but before I could call the cops I see the figure walking down the stairs and I put my phone down.
"There you are." The person said.
"How did you get in?" I asked.
"Vega, you let your window open. Don't you know how dangerous that is?" Jade asks me with one of her signatures grins as she takes a sit next to me.
"You came in through my window?" I ask and she nodded as she took my drink from my hand.
"Yeah, I was going to knock but I saw the window open, I'm in a nice mood so when I entered your room I closed it." She answers as she takes a sip of my drink.
"Thanks? But why are you doing here?" I ask.
"I was hanging out with the usual gang, but they kept saying how they missed you. Cat was sad that you had to go with your parents. André missed his "muchacha" as he calls you. Beck said that it wasn't the same without all of us together, and Robbie was being his usual awkward self. So I decided to come here." She tells me and I look at her confused.
"How did you know I was here?" I ask. She doesn't answer she finishes the wine and then hands me the wine-cup.
"I didn't. Sinjin appeared on the party and told me that Trina had posted a comment on the Slap. Saying how you had to stay home because you were sick or something." I nod and she puts her hand on the end of the couch her head resting on her hand.
"Well why are you here? You usually don't care about my health?" I asked her.
"I was bored." She tells me and I chuckle. I stand up and go to the kitchen I grab another wine-cup and go back to my seat on the couch. I poured the wine on the cup and then I hand it to her. She takes it and I pour more into mine.
"So?" She asks and I tilt my head.
"So what?" I ask.
"Why did you lie to your parents? It's obvious that you aren't sick." She tells me and I nod as I sip my drink.
"I know it's kind of hard to believe, but I wanted to be alone." I tell her she hums in response.
We don't say anything for a few minutes but it wasn't an awkward silence I actually felt a little happy. I felt that empty feeling slowly leaving me.
That's when I take a really good look at Jade. She was wearing one of her usual outfits but I wasn't really concern with her appearance she always looks good. I was more concern with her. Now that I thought about it this deep feeling in my heart always left when she was close. It's always when she's nearby, this feeling doesn't hurt so much, it feels bearable, but it hurts more when she insults me, or when we fight. What could it mean?
"Vega, you're staring." She tells me and that snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry. I was just thinking." I tell her and she raises her pierced eyebrow.
"Oh was it something embarrassing?" She asks me and I smile as I shake my head.
"No. It was just a thought." I tell her.
"Well do you mind sharing that thought of yours?" She asks me and it's my turn to raise my eyebrow.
"Why?" I ask her and she shrugs.
"Well you were looking at me like you found the greatest puzzle and couldn't figure it out." She tells me and I nod.
"It kind of was." I tell her and before she could ask what it was I kind of changed the conversation.
"Hey, Jade. Have you ever felt something missing? Or like an empty feeling deep into your heart?" She takes a sip of her drink before answering me.
"Vega, are you insulting me?" She asks and I immediately shook my head.
"No, I'm just wondering." I tell her. She studies me her eyes looking for something in my brown ones and the empty fades away faster.
"Is that how you've felt this past months?" She asks me and I look deep into her blue eyes, and for some reason I find myself answering.
"Kind of. It's actually been for a long time now." I tell her as I pause to take a sip of my drink.
"I feel a little empty and it feels like I can't breathe. Sometimes it hurts, but I don't know why. It's not like I have a harsh life you know?" I tell her and I immediately look down at the floor. She doesn't answer and I don't hope for one. She probably thinks that I'm crazy.
"Have you told anyone?" She asks me and I shake my head. I put my drink down and I look up to see Jade a little closer than before.
"No. I don't even understand what I feel. Like I said before I don't have a harsh life. My parents don't fight, they always buy me everything I want. I could even be considered spoiled. So I don't know why I feel like this. This feeling is silly isn't it?" I tell her as I lean back and close my eyes. It hurts talking about it. I feel the empty feeling, and then as fast as it can it went away when I felt Jade grab my hand.
"It's not. Vega, you should have said something sooner to someone. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much." She tells me and I laugh a bitter laugh.
"What good would it do? Everyone sees me as miss sunshine, the innocent nice girl. They wouldn't believe me, they would probably think that I'm seeking attention." I tell her and she grabs my chin.
"If they thought that then they would probably be idiots, and even if no one believed you I would." She whispered the last part as she lets my chin go and she holds my hand again.
"Why would you believe me? You hate me." I tell her and I see her bit her lip.
"I know you probably won't believe me but I don't hate you. You're a little annoying but I don't hate you." When she said those words my heart beat a little faster.
"Vega do you harm yourself?" She asks me and I look at her confused before it hits me.
"No! Of course not." I immediately tell her. She nods.
"Then how do you deal with it?" She asks.
"I don't. I ignore it sometimes it hurts more and sometimes it hurts less. But sometimes the feeling goes away." I tell her and she squeezes my hand.
"When does it go away?" She asks me and I don't know how to answer her, so I don't.
"Vega, don't make me use my favorite scissors on you." She threatens me and I look at her blue eyes and for the first time I see Jade's concern face, and I can't help but think that maybe she does care.
"When I'm with you." I say in a barely audible voice. I see the surprise in her eyes but it quickly disappears. She doesn't say anything and I try to stand up but Jade doesn't let me. She's holding my hand tightly.
"Then I guess I'm stuck with you." She tells me and I look at her confused. She smiles and she let's go of my hand only to caress my cheek.
"Maybe everyone saw a bright sunshine, but I always knew there was something you were hiding. But I never knew how much it was hurting you. If I knew I would have done something sooner. And I think I know what that feeling is." She tells me.
"What is it?" I ask with a shaky voice.
"You have always have people around you. You have always have plenty of friends. But they were never there when you needed them. You try your hardest to make everyone happy, but no one tries to make you happy. No one tries to understand you. Everyone assumes that you are this cheerful girl. Because of that they don't ask how you're feeling they only ask for your help. Even your family isn't there when you need them, they just buy you expensive stuff, to show how much they care. You feel empty because you feel alone, completely alone." She tells me and my heart starts to beat faster, and it hurts. It hurts because somewhere deep in my heart I know that she's right.
I didn't notice I was crying until I felt Jade wiping my tears.
"But why you?" I asked.
"Vega, you have always been in my mind. I challenge you just like you challenge me, it's true that I didn't like you at first, but you grew on me. I wanted to know why sometimes your smile was fake, or why you looked sad, and little by little I wanted to know everything about you. And I found myself liking your smile, your stupid jokes, and I realized that my feelings changed and I wanted to protect you, to be there for you. So maybe you felt that I cared? Or maybe just maybe you feel the same way as me?" She told me as she caressed my cheek. My heart beat faster than before but it didn't hurt anymore. It felt nice, to know that Jade liked me, that she cared.
"I do." My mouth moved on its own and I answered her question. She leaned in and our lips met. It was different completely different from what I expected. Her lips were soft as they caressed mine. It felt amazing I have never felt anything like this. My hands wander to her neck and I pulled her closer. Her hands moved to my waist. It wasn't a heated kiss it was passionate and full of love.
I smiled into the kiss at my thought. Love that's the feeling that Jade gave me, the feeling that I was missing. We pulled back for lack of oxygen and she had this beautiful smile that took my breath away. She looked behind me and chuckle.
I try to turn around but she didn't let me she gave me a quick peck on my lips.
"Happy New Year, Tori." She tells me and I'm pretty sure she can hear my heart beating. I felt so happy, she never called me Tori and I never would have expected to feel so good from hearing my name from her lips.
"Happy New Year, Jade." I tell her and we don't say anything anymore. I cuddle to her and we fell asleep on each other's arms.
It felt nice maybe Jade was right. The empty feeling that I had was loneliness. I felt alone, and maybe even though I didn't understand it. My heart knew that Jade cared, and that's why the feeling went away when she was near because she had everything I could ever want and more. And I know that this New Year will be one of the best moments in my life. Because not only was I truly happy but I was falling completely in love with Jade, and it didn't even felt like falling. In the end maybe all I ever wanted was for someone to love me.