So this is Leah's POV of the chapter Some People Just Don't Grasp the Concept of "Unwelcome" And of the events before that... basically it starts immediately after Jacob and Seth left the pack in chapter eleven.
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the amazing characters. Also, most of the dialogue/thoughts come straight from Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer (Chapter 12)
Some People Just Don't Grasp the Concept of STAYING
Everything was a mess. Everything I had ever known.
Well, everything that I had ever known for about six months.
But whatever, that wasn't the point.
The turmoil going on inside my head was insane. There were about ten voices, fighting for dominance over the others, trying to make sense of what was going on without being able to think… much like I was.
But this was ridiculous. All this mess just for one girl…
She wasn't even that special.
Bloody Bella Swan…
But not just for one girl, though, spoke that annoying voice in my head.
Oh yeah. Right. That little monster that was growing inside of her…
Now that is a special child. And I mean that in the most horrible way possible.
But argh! The noise!
If only I could block it out! Why did I have to become a part of this godforsaken pack, why could I just be a normal girl, with normal worries…
Everybody, SHUT UP!
And enter Sam, the alpha who apparently can't keep a hold of his own pack members. He was angry... and I mean really angry.
Shut up, Leah, I mean it!
Well, sorry.
But the silence! Blessed silence! Obviously, the pack is still thinking, but at least they are not trying to talk. That is a big difference.
It is the difference between being a in classroom full of whispering kids and a plane full of screaming toddlers.
Oh yeah, thanks for the comparison there, Leah. Very manly.
I growled in response.
Leah! Paul! Give it a rest, will you? Let's focus on the matter at hand!
And what might that be, oh not-so-mighty-anymore alpha?
Leah, concentrate. We have a huge problem.
True. How are we supposed to attack the Cullens now that Jake and Seth have gone to warn them?
Whoa, hold up there, Jared. What was that about Seth?
Yeah, didn't you know? Seth left with Jake. And I don't know about you guys, but I can't hear them anymore, see?
Everyone paused for a minute, listening.
Jared was right. Neither Jacob nor Seth seemed to be a part of our little internal chat room. It seemed they had formed a pack of their own…
Yes, Leah, I think you are right.
Sam didn't sound to happy with that fact.
But I was happy with that fat. Immensely happy.
Sure, I was upset that my little brother had run off to protect a bunch of parasites, but he was in a new pack…
Don't even think about it, Leah, said Sam.
Well, that's easy enough. I won't think about it…
But why the hell would I want to be in a pack with Jacob anyway, let alone one that acts as a bunch of guard dogs for a couple of leaches and their pet human!
Hey, said Quil, don't talk about Jake like that!
He doesn't know what he's doing, added Embry.
Well, seeing as you all enjoy my help so much, I think I am going to go home and sleep. I'm tired. Update me in the morning... actually, no, in the afternoon. Don't even try to wake me up before twelve if you like the way your noses look at the moment.
Leah…
Seriously, Sam, you never listen to me anyways. Is it because I'm a girl? Oh no, it can't be, because you always listen to Emily.
Leah, that's-
That's what? Different? Oh yeah, 'cause she's your imprint. Sorry, I forgot.
If you're just going to be spiteful you should-
Leave? Gladly. Goodnight.
Not even waiting for a response, I phased back to my human form and began jogging back home. While he had been talking I had split from the pack, and as I was a fast runner and they were all rather distracted, I had managed to get away unnoticed with little difficulty.
It didn't take long to get home, and when I did, my mother swarmed me, asked questions and demanding I tell her where Seth was.
Maybe I should have explained better. She is, after all, our mother, and she had already lost so much.
But all I said was"
"He's with Jacob at the Cullen's. Don't worry, he's fine. I'll check on him in the morning – and if you care for me or Seth in anyway, you will not tell anyone, especially not the elders, what I just told you, okay?"
Then I ran up to my room to try and get some sleep while I could.
I felt guilty about it almost immediately, but then I shrugged it off. I couldn't risk Old Quill or Sam or even Billy finding out about what I was planning. If they did, Sam would stop me, and then I would never be able to get to Seth.
As I lay in bed, I thought about it all. The pros, the cons…
Pro: I could make sure Seth didn't get into any trouble.
Con: It would involve spending time with Jacob.
Pro: I could get away from all the annoying thoughts. A pack of three was much less irritating than a pack of… how many were we now?
Con: It would involve spending time with bloodsuckers. Urgh.
Pro: I am not 100% sure, but from what I know of Jacob Black, he'll be less likely to use the alpha command on me than Sam.
Con: I would have to leave my home in favor of the forest… there is no way I'll stay in the same house as the parasites.
Pro: I wouldn't have to listen to Sam's thought's about Emily! I would take that any day.
Con: I would have to listen to Jacob's thought's about Bella. Oh Well. Sam's are worse.
Pro: I wouldn't have to listen to Sam's thoughts of Emily!
Con: Again with the leaving the home… I'll have to give up food for deer, and a bed for a pile of leaves… ew.
Pro: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO SAM'S THOUGHTS ABOUT EMILY!
Con: Mom. She will have no one left…
It took me all night and, as a result, I did not get the sleep I wanted. But no matter.
By the time the sun started to rise I had decided.
And I got out of bed, wrote a quick note to Mom, and hopped out the window, before phasing and running a straight course towards the Cullen house.
I could only hope that Sam wouldn't hear and tell me to go back…
But that was when I noticed something odd.
I couldn't hear Sam. Nor could I hear Paul or Jared or Embry or Quill or Brady or Colin…
But I could hear two voices. Two very familiar voices.
There is nothing here… nothing here… nothing here… oh look, a tree. And a tree. And a tree…
Seth. Seth and Jacob. Great. Seth was clearly running patrol… his thoughts were mainly just a haze of green, trees and boredom.
Jacob was… well…
One, two-three, four, one, two-three, four; dum-dum-dum-dum.
Okay… he was listening to the sounds of Seth running… because that wasn't weird at all.
But, that didn't particularly matter, because I could hear them, and not Sam and the others. That meant I was a part of Jake's pack.
YES! It worked!
Whoa, what was that?
Oops, maybe that thought was a little too loud.
I tried to empty my mind of thought, like I would when I was trying to get my own space – however, the closer I got the harder that became. I still couldn't believe I was doing this. I, Leah Clearwater, was running from my home to that of a large coven of bloodsuckers. Nice.
Still, I adjusted my course so I would intercept Seth's path.
However, no matter how quiet my thoughts, I couldn't silence my footsteps or diffuse my scent.
Oh, crap! Sam's coming to attack! Alarm! Alarm!
Seth's howl sounded throughout the area.
Well, great. Now every wolf and bloodsucker in the area know that I have arrived.
Well, not specifically, but they know something is not right. Bah.
That's Seth… some one must be coming!
Jacob was up and running now, heading toward Seth, who was frozen in a clearing, listening to my approach.
When Jacob reached him, they both just sat there.
I grinned as I felt their tension, and debated letting it go on for a while. But, as that would probably result in my being attacked, I decided to let them off the hook. I letting my thoughts flood into my mind again, I greeted them.
Morning, boys.
Seth whined, and then they both snarled.
Well, I may be a little bitch, but I don't think I deserved that! I mean, come on, I greeted them politely did I not!
Oh, man! Go away, Leah!
I know that I would normally take offense to that but… I guess it is to be expected. I mean, come, on, it's Seth.
Jacob reprimanded him – something about too much noise – just as they came into view.
Seth was whimpering.
Stop whining, Seth. You're such a baby.
Jacob snarled at me, and I reflexively jumped back a little. Wow, he didn't used to be able to make me jump back… maybe it's an alpha thing.
What do you think you are doing, Leah?
I sighed in both exasperation and resignation. I guess this is my life now. Ladies and gentlemen, bow down to the almighty Jacob Black!
It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I'm joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires' guard dogs.
I let out a laugh. Whoever would have thought it would come down to this? Not me.
No, you're not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings.
Ha. Nice joke, Jacob.
Like you could catch me. Wanna race, O fearless leader?
I smirked at him. I was the fastest wolf, and he knew it. Maybe if I refreshed that fact in his mind, he may want to keep me around.
I almost laughed as he tried to stop himself from screaming in frustration.
Seth, go let the Cullens know that it's just your stupid sister. I'll deal with this.
Deal with this? He makes me sound like a minor issue! And how dare he call me stupid! No, no, no, Leah, don't think that. I actually do want to be a part of this pack…
But that wasn't the problem here anyway.
On it!
I would have been insulted by the way he sounded happy about leaving it weren't for that fact that he was leaving.
I whined. This was bad, this was very, very bad…
I directed my thoughts at Jacob.
You're just going to let him run off to the vampires alone?
I'm pretty sure he'd rather they took him out than spend another minute with you.
Ooh, that was low.
Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I'm sorry—I meant, shut up, most high Alpha.
Why the hell are you here?
Ha, can't think of a good comeback, little Jakey?
But this question… I could hardly tell him the – I mean, I Have to tell Jacob the truth, and only the truth, because he is my alpha.
You think I'm just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?
There we are, that is completely truthful.
Seth doesn't want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here.
Oooh, ouch, that's gonna leave a huge mark. Tell me who does want me around, and I'm outta here.
So this isn't about Seth at all, is it?
Of course it is. I'm just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you know what I mean.
Did Sam send you?
He could not be further from the truth.
If I was here on Sam's errand, you wouldn't be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him.
You're loyal to me now? Uh-huh. Right.
I didn't miss the sarcasm. And I must admit, even I can see how unlikely this must seem.
My choices are limited. I'm working with the options I've got. Trust me, I'm not enjoying this any more than you are.
Boy, was that true.
Apparently, Jacob didn't agree. He seemed to think I was high…
Well, I guess I was. But I wasn't going to-
What the hell! Get out of my head Jacob Black!
Luckily, Jacob's intrusion of my mind as he tried to figure out what I was thinking was interrupted by Seth as he thought of Bella's Bloodsucker.
Wow, he looks bad.
Surprisingly, I couldn't help but agree. I had seen this particular leech looking many things… Angry, sad, happy, hateful, frustrated, annoyed, furious and – dare I say it – loving. However, I had never, ever seen him look so… empty.
What on earth could have happened to make him look like that?
I relaxed slightly as Seth turned and started to run back towards us and away from them, then directed my thoughts and Jacob. I wanted to know what was happening!
What's going on? Catch me up to speed.
There's no point. You're not staying.
Ha. As if anything he said could make me go, even if he is the alpha. By being here, I get to- I get to look after Seth. Yeah. That's it. Course it is.
Right… time to rebuff Jacob…
Actually, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I have to belong to someone—and don't think I haven't tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how well that doesn't work—I choose you.
Leah, you don't like me. I don't like you.
Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesn't matter to me. I'm staying with Seth.
You don't like vampires. Don't you think that's a little conflict of interest right there?
What a stupid argument.
You don't like vampires either.
But I am committed to this alliance. You aren't.
I'll keep my distance from them. I can run patrols out here, just like Seth.
And I'm supposed to trust you with that?
How dare he!
I took a step closer, and snarled at him with all the ferocity I could muster.
I will not betray my pack.
This isn't your pack! This isn't even a pack. This is just me, going off on my own! What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can't you leave me alone?
As I said before, ouch. But it isn't like I'm not used to being unwanted.
Seth whined. Ha, well done Jake. Everything you do, you ruin.
Kinda like me… except on a much smaller scale.
I've been helpful, haven't I, Jake?
You haven't made too much a nuisance of yourself, kid, but if you and Leah are a package deal—if the only way to get rid of her is for you to go home.… Well, can you blame me for wanting you gone?
Ugh, Leah, you ruin everything!
Yeah, I know.
Don't I know. It was exactly what I was thinking less than a minute before. Nobody wanted me… not Jacob, not Seth, not Sam… especially not Sam.
But none of that matters of course, because I am here for Seth. Seth, Seth, Seth. Keep that in your head Leah, no time for slip ups…
I turned my mind back to Jacob and Seth to find them pitying me. Great. Just what I wanted.
…Leah's not so bad. Really. I mean, with her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam down to seven. There's no way he's going to mount an attack that outnumbered. It's probably a good thing.…
Aww, thanks Seth. You make me feel so loved… or, you would, if this was actually about me being 'not so bad' and not about you not wanting to go back to La Push.
You know I don't want to lead a pack, Seth.
Ha. He so set himself up for this…
So don't lead us.
Sounds perfect to me. Run along home now.
Okay, I guess I was asking for that.
Jake, Seth thought. I belong here. I do like vampires. Cullens, anyway. They're people to me…
Blegh, Seth and his vampire obsession. When would he stop? He seemed to love them more than me.
Although, with the way things are going at the moment, I don't think that should surprise me.
Argh, Jacob is talking about 'belonging'. I don't belong anywhere… that much is obvious. I don't belong here, because I hate vampires.
Yet I don't belong there, because Sam doesn't want me anymore, and that hurts more than anything in the world…
I thought this was about Seth.
Crap.
Damn it, Leah, why did you have to slip up?
Oh and Jacob? Of course I am here for Seth.
And to get away from Sam.
Damn, damn and blast it! Jacob Black, I hate you!
Oh, and I don't have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I'm told. I belong to your pack, Jacob. The end.
Jacob walked away from me, growling in frustration. Curious, I looked into his thoughts, wanting to know what he was going to do. I would seriously consider killing him if he ordered me back to Sam.
But that wasn't what he was thinking. He seemed to be realising that I wouldn't go back…
Some of the things he thought about me were fairly annoying, such as when he thought about my hating the Cullens. Others were painful, such as when he thought of my loving Sam. Some were dead on truthfull, like the part where I disliked Jacob – even if tht was putting it a little mildly. Then there was his last thought.
She would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their lapdog.
The sad thing is, that it was probably true.
However, I don't think I would go that far. I'm sure I'd give killing myself a try first.
I could tell Jacob could hear the sadness behind my words though. I would go that far if it was the only thing that meant being away from Sam, and he knew it.
Look Leah…
Oh no. I don't think so. I've had enough pity for one day. Possibly for the rest of my life.
No, you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it's not going to do any good. I'll stay out of your way, okay? I'll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam's pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can't get away from. If you want me to leave, you're going to have to make me.
He growled at me. For rather a long time, too. But I didn't care. I knew what it meant.
He could not find a way to get around me. He knew I was staying. And that was all that mattered.
I almost laughed as Jacob felt sorry for Sam, and realized why Sam ordered everybody around so much.
Well done, Jacob. You have finally found the flaws in the theory of democracy.
Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister?
He pretended to think about it for a minute.
Well… yeah, probably.
Well, at least he cares about me that much.
Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don't you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?
Yes! We are finally getting somewhere! I guess this means the argument is over. Well, I am not going to give Jacob any time to decide otherwise…
Lots of howling. (Boy, is that an understatement.) But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn't hear either of you anymore. Sam was…
I couldn't quite think of any words, so I just showed them the way Sam yelled, the way he broke a couple of trees… obviously, I wasn't there for that part as I had already run off, but I saw it through Quil's eyes.
I felt Jacob and Seth flinch.
After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn't going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I'm not sure what they'll do, but I wouldn't be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It's open season on vamps now.
You decided to skip the meeting this morning? I asked.
When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—
Crap! You told Mom?
Jesus Christ, he is such a whiney kid!
Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.
So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth's safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we'll hear it when Sam finds out.…
And boy, I bet we will. He was a horror last night when Seth a Jacob left… and now, he's going to wake up to find he's lost a third wolf.
Well Sam, I guess you'll just have to learn to treat your pack members with respect the hard way.
With everything done, Seth and I looked at Jacob for orders. I have to admit he looked a little lost.
I can't blame him. All we know, really, is to do what the alpha tells us.
But he is the alpha. He has no one to look to. He doesn't even have the elders, like Sam does.
Unless he asks the leeches…
I shuddered.
Finally, Jacob came up with something.
I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That's all we can do. You should probably take a nap, Leah.
As if. You've had as much sleep as I have.
Thought you were going to do what you were told?
Right. That's going to get old.
I only just managed to withhold a groan as a yawn escaped me. Well damn. And I was doing so well, too!
Well, whatever. I don't care.
I'll run the border, Jake. I'm not tired at all.
Bloody overexcited, hyperactive, energetic kid! How does he have that much energy!
Sure, sure. I'm going to go check in with the Cullens.
Maybe I'll run a round or two before I crash.…
I watched Seth as he ran off. Despite having all that energy, he didn't look like he was going that fast… I wonder if I could beat him while I felt like I had been run over by a truck?
Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?
NO!
Nice… he knows that I will beat him.
No you won't, Leah. I just don't want you to collapse.
Sure, Seth. Sure.
No, I mean it!
Uh huh.
Seriously!
Whatever, little brother.
Normally, I would have ribbed into him way more than that, but I was trying to be nice.
It was just before I was about to go to sleep that Jacob started thinking about me. I would have been flattered… if he was not trying to think of someone he would not swap me with.
I thought hard for a bit, trying to help him out.
Paul?
Come on, surely he wouldn't swap me for Paul. Paul imprinted on his sister, for God's sake!
Maybe.
Well, a maybe was better than nothing.
And, in that case, that will be my goal; to be less annoying than Paul.
Yeah, work on that.
After that, Jacob phased, probably to go and check on the 'love of his life' or whatever, also known as the girl who got knocked up on her honeymoon by a parasite. Man, that sounds like a newspaper headline or something.
Anyway, as I drifted of to sleep, I started to think about things.
It was true that everyone – with the possible exception of Seth – hated me. Or at least extremely disliked me.
However, I had got away from Sam… and that was worth anything.
Also, Jacob had said that it was possible to be less annoying than Paul… which coming from him was a lot.
I had a chance here. I had a new pack, a new home, a new life.
The was a chance that I could become something better… especially now that I was away from Sam and his thoughts of Emily.
There was a chance to become less bitter, and move on with my life.
I would change into a more likable person… it shouldn't be too hard right?
Yeah Leah, and it shouldn't be to hard to me to fly and catch that pigeon over there.
Seth, shut up.
And enter Leah. You know, I was getting a little worried there. Your thoughts were kinda…
Nice? Hopeful? Positive?
Un-Leah-like.
Whatever. Go away Seth, I am trying to sleep.
So much for being a better person.
This is better. I haven't threatened to rip your throat out yet, have I?
No, but does that count?
Well, if I were Paul, you'd be dead already.
No way. I could take Paul. But I do see your point.
In your dreams. And yeah, good, because I know I am less annoying than Paul.
Really?
Really.
You know, that was you being hopeful and positive again… it's odd Leah. You're scaring me. WHAT IS HAPPENING?
SETH! Shut up, please, I beg you!
Did you just say please? And you begged! All in the same sentence! Oh my God, the world really is ending!
Seth, I will give you one last chance before I chase you and tackle you to the ground before opening your stomach with my claws and slowly removing your internal organs and then throwing you in the ocean where you will be a snack for the sharks!
Aha! There's the Leah I know! The world hasn't ended after all!
Seth…
Leaving! Well, not technically because I have to stay in wolf form while I patrol…
Seth…
I know, how about I concentrate and you go to sleep, hmm?
Good plan. Best you've ever had, I'll say.
I agree, so long as it means I stay in one peace. Night, Leah! Or, well, Good late morning, or whatever…
Night Seth.
I sighed. It was nice to know that at least he cared about me… to an extent.
Just before I fell asleep, I realized something.
I may not belong here now, but I will. Eventually. Just because I don't like vampires doesn't mean I can't be a part of this pack.
All I have to do now is make Jacob see that.
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