A/N a.k.a Bonnie's foreword: This is a one-shot geek meet porn moment for me after Kai and I played NW and he frustrated the living hell out of me. Please take into account that this is fully AU, meant to be fun (and upbeat) and pretty much banterfest2015. Depending on demand, I might continue it. We'll see. ;)

PROLOGUE

"You know this was entirely your fault," Kai stated once they had secured the horses outside their shelter for the night.

"You're kidding me," Bonnie snapped as she pulled off her helmet, swiping a gloved hand over the slicked surface, clearing the gunk from the eyeholes and around the mouth piece.

"If you didn't insist on wearing that chamber pot on your head—"

"You mean the thing that protects my skull from being smashed in by one of those brutish animals out there?" Bonnie interjected with an incensed flash of pearly whites, hoping to shut him down.

He scoffed, unruffled by her retort. "You can afford better."

"Says the man with his hand in extra commissions."

"That's beside the point. I make the personal sacrifice. You don't."

She rolled her eyes to the heavens and ambled away from him, pushing aside the filthy tarp that acted as a door to their tent on the border of the small encampment in the center of the Ebon Downs. There were no immoderate Inn's around, no hot meals to be guzzled down or the luxury of a proper mattress at night to relax her sore and aching muscles. Kai didn't take too long to join her. And he hadn't taken the wide load of hint—her walking away—that their conversation on that topic was over.

"My point is, you have the means to enchant it, fade it from existence without it truly being gone and make things easier on yourself. On us."

"Us?" Bonnie echoed, dismissively dropping her helmet to the ground beside her bedroll.

"Precisely."

Bonnie threw him a mystified look over her shoulder, play-acting she had no idea what he was referring to.

"I'm not following. What does MY helmet have to do with you?"

"Did you zone out the part where you walked us dead-smack into a horde of heavy-duty cultists?" Kai all but sneered, tugging at the buckles that secured his armor to his upper body. "Also, it's distracting."

"Actually," Bonnie began, ignoring the latter of his commentary, attempting to make him see her side of the story and where THEY went wrong. He cut her short within the same inhalation.

"I almost died," he said in a tone that implied she should feel responsible and that all of this was in some way her fault. "I take that back—I did die."

"Only for a few seconds," Bonnie replied unsympathetically, bending to deposit her magical orb in her helmet for safekeeping. "Besides, I brought you back."

"You brought me back," he parroted, annoyed at her indifference to his adversity, too peeved to care about the small things or the fact that he was back in the land of the living. "You do know that in doing so I suffer a huge drawback that makes it easier for those things to kill me for good?"

"How can I forget?" she said with faux cheerfulness, flashing him a sarcastic smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Not that it's necessary, but I would like to point out that I'm not the one killing you. It comes with the territory." She combed a hand through her hair, grimacing as a tuft of fur still attached to a bit of flesh came away in her hand. Gross! She flicked it away. "You could try complaining less and show a little more appreciation."

"Appreciation? Appreciation for what? You're hardly doing your job."

Bonnie stiffened with implicit ire, wishing she possessed the means to knock him on his ass and that there wasn't some stupid non-violence invocation cast on them. He acknowledged his triumph in her body language, a self-satisfied smirk curving onto his mouth. 'Asshole,' she thought, making no attempt to hide her annoyance. "Fuck you," she said openly, abruptly peeling away the hard-wearing layers of clothes meant to protect her from injury. He laughed.

"Okay," he conceded after a lengthy silence and once he'd removed most his protective gear, his eyes perusing her semi-naked body adorned only in a pair of dull brown undergarments and socks. "I admit that was pushing it a bit far."

She further shut him out the only way she could in such close quarters, by wordlessly making use of the washbowl stored on one of their delivery crates.

"You do every so often help me out of a bad situation."

She filled the basin from a bucket they used to store the water they filtered from one of the numerous shallow ponds around the region.

"Not as effortlessly or gracefully as I envision," he continued, drawing closer, observing as she scrubbed at her face and body, trying to rid herself of the day's fight and his lasting frustration. "But—"

"Are you done?" Bonnie countered, rinsing her soapy hands in the cold water, cutting short his backhanded apology when she sensed his presence behind her. "I don't need you to give me a play by play of what I should be doing or how to heal people."

"I'm not telling you how to heal people. I'm telling you how I want you to heal me."

"You think you can do better? Then why don't you take over the healing department and wear my robes for a change!" Bonnie argued, splashing him with a substantial amount of dirtied water. "Why don't you heal me and the dozen or so other people around you all the while trying to dodge blood-thirsty monsters to keep from becoming a useless corpse?!"

He blinked, his mouth hanging agape slightly, water running down his handsome face in large uncomplimentary rivulets. Bonnie stilled when she realized what she'd done and the anger dissipated a touch. Neither spoke. Bonnie—under different circumstances—might have experienced guilt for letting her annoyance get the best of her, but this was not one of those times. She laughed.

"You think that's funny?" Kai questioned once he found his voice.

"No, no… of course not," she said between breathy titters as she backed away. The act itself wasn't that funny but for some reason she couldn't shut herself up. Overtired? Hysteria? He grabbed her wrist, preventing her retreat. She paused, mute, endeavoring to shake off his hand before meeting his eyes.

"If you hadn't noticed," she instigated, "I only just rinsed myself off." He had a particular look in his eye, one she'd come to know by heart: it told her she would pay for the petty recklessness.

"You're always telling me to come in close. To be within reach."

"When we're on the battlefield," she clarified, drawing out the last word.

He paid no mind and hauled her against his chest, sliding his hands up and down her sides, exploring the contours of her body as though it were the first time. She hated when he did that – detested how electrifying it felt.

"And we're not now?" he challenged with a lint of amusement, aware of what his touch did to her and the power he had over her – when he chose to wield it.

"No," she answered, fighting to keep from trembling beneath his dexterous hands and failing miserably. It was his turn to chuckle.

"You could have fooled me," he said, inclining his head to the left faintly and leaning in to have their lips meet. She braced her palms against his chest, momentarily halting what he was about to do and her body craved. His brows shot up in playful inquiry.

"You're an ass."

"And you love me for it," he agreed, sliding one of his hands into her hair, claiming her mouth in an intoxicating toe-curling kiss that further shutdown her remonstration. It didn't stop there – it never did and before long Bonnie was panting, supported against one of their many supply crates and being helped out of her dull colored panties. They were both smiling – one a little more smugly than the other.

"You can wipe that smug look off your face," Bonnie remarked, her smile widening a tad.

"And why would I care to do that?" he retorted with a leer.

"This isn't one of our daily missions. You didn't achieve anything here."

"Didn't I?"

"You caught me at a weak moment."

"More like decade," he quipped, chuckling, catching her foot as she made to nudge him.

"Is that your way of saying I'm easy?"

"Is that your way of saying you'd rather not participate in our extracurricular activities?" he asked, deliberately trailing his fingertips up along the inside of her legs, crawling his way to her aching center.

"No, not at all," she answered as his fingers grazed the outside of her femininity, making her shudder in anticipation. "It's my way of saying I could use this."

"Use what exactly? Tell me," he asked mischievously, grabbing a firm hold of her thighs to smoothly seat her on top of the crate, situating himself between her knees.

"You," she began, sliding her right hand from around his neck and down the length of his body, a light enticing smile on her lips. "Me." Her hand slipped into his breeches to take a hold of his cock. "This."

He groaned softly, peppering kisses against her shoulder, steadily making his way to her neck, his hands mimicking her keen efforts to feed their thirst for one another. Kai ripped the straps on her bra, disregarding her artless glare, silencing her flippant objection as his mouth found her left nipple, his left hand massaging at her right breast. He repeated the technique, switching each breast until she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed him by the shoulder, her legs securing themselves around his waist, her right hand guiding the head of his cock where she most needed him. Inside her.

"You sure you don't want me to stop?" he asked, forestalling her desperate action, enjoying the look of frustration that graced her desire ridden face. If looks could kill. Bonnie opened her mouth to tell him not to fucking dare, when in a flash—and in reading her thoughts—he thrust into her, provoking a simultaneous moan from both of them. They stilled, taking a second to relish in their honeyed unity and then energetically fell into one another, quickly propelling their way to release.

Relief they pursued twice that night. And once more the morning.

"So," Kai began once they started to relax, his arm secured around Bonnie as she nuzzled into his side, her leg thrown across his hip, the two covered with a singular animal skin. "Does this mean you won't be wearing that godawful helmet anymore?"

"And give up on delightful fights of ours?" Bonnie replied sleepily, not bothering to open her eyes, her hand slowly making its way down to tease the expanse of skin beneath his navel. "Never."

Kai grinned and then slowly closed his eyes, too. The two swiftly drifting off to claim a few hours much needed sleep before their next siege and their next disagreement.