"I always knew there was something off about you," Kir said, smiling down the barrel of her gun at Amuro. "So, who are you really?"
"A loyal agent of the Black Organization, just like you… aren't you?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't play games with me," Kir said dangerously. "I saw you talking to Akai Shuuichi…"
"Oh, but he's not FBI like Akai is," a voice said. Kir and Amuro both looked up sharply to see Chianti and Korn leaning out of windows above them, rifles trained. "We know the truth, Amuro," Chianti cackled. "You're an MI6 rat! Ever tasted MI6, Kir?"
"I'd lower your gun, Chianti," Akai Shuuichi said, leaning out of another window with a shotgun, "or she'll get to taste Interpol." Chianti went white.
"Wait, hold on," Amuro said, looking around. "Is there anybody here who isn't a plant for another organization?" He looked up at Korn.
"KGB," the sniper said with a shrug.
"The K—they don't even exist anymore!" Kir sputtered.
"Been in this business a long time," he said flatly.
"Well, hey, if we're going for full disclosure," Vermouth said, leaning around the end of the corridor, "Calvados was SHIELD, and I'm an agent of the Hellsing Institute!"
"What?!" Vodka sputtered, looking around. "Rum, they're all traitors!" he gasped, looking into the car behind him.
"Don't look at me," a hive voiced buzzed. "I am of the Sherrif's Secret Police. Nothing is happening here. Move along."
"Aniki?" Vodka said pleadingly, looking up at Gin.
"He's never a mole," Chianti said, turning her gun on Gin.
"I'm no mole," Gin said flatly. Vodka grinned in relief. "I'm a lizard person."
"Wait, wha—" Vodka began before Gin ripped off his human skin and tore everybody in the alley to bloody pieces.
So I had a really cracky conversation over Skype with a friend and yeah I have no excuse. This is the first piece of DCMK fic I've written in about three years. This is what I've become. I'M SORRY
(Anokata is Illuminati)