September 1 3:30 AM
Damn. I haven't even begun to pack yet. I'm not even sure if I know where any of my stuff is. I'm just glad that Remus finally decided to take pity on me and go to Diagon Alley for me. I tried my best to get expelled from Hogwarts the last few weeks of term, but to no avail. My mother would kill me on the spot if I even dared to suggest dropping out, so that wasn't even an option.
Of course, my attempts at expulsion were a little less than half-hearted. I cared about Remus too much to make him suffer through this alone. I created this mess and I'm going to fix it, come hell or high water.
He had it bad enough to begin with, what with being a werewolf and all. My father offered him up to Fenrir Greyback to pay off a debt, but after biting Remus, Greyback turned on my father and killed him. Remus was left to suffer through the realization that his life would never be the same alone until my mother and I went looking for him the next morning. By then, it was too late. The next full moon, he transformed, forced to succumb to the plague of the werewolf.
I can't help but feel responsible. It should have been me offered to Greyback, not Remus.I was the one who discovered our father's gambling problem had gotten so bad. I was the one that found the proof that he emptied our vault at Gringotts and told our mother. I still remember him roughly grabbing my arm, and explaining his agreement with Greyback, that since he didn't have the money he would offer up a child. I remember the crazed look in his eyes, the smell of the alcohol on his breath, and the panic I felt when he tried to drag me out of the house the following night to be sacrificed.
Remus stopped him. He begged and pleaded that our father let me go, that he would take me back up to bed. Father let me go alright, but pulled his wand on us, threatening to kill Remus if I didn't go with him. The night ended with Remus taking my place, willingly getting dragged to his demise, and my mother holding me back, afraid that my father would retaliate and kill us all.
Remus took my punishment yet again just last year. Long story short, I pissed off Sirius' older brother, Regulus, and wound up dueling with an entire group of Slytherins. Remus jumped in front of me and got hit with a spell that Snape had come up with that caused gaping wounds to appear all over his body. The werewolf in him saved his life, slowing down his bodily functions to keep from losing too much blood. It would have killed me had he not taken the curse for me, but his bravery cost him dearly. The fact that he survived such extensive damage aroused suspicion, and Snape figured out the truth. Ever since, he's been blackmailing us with the information, and damn it all, I'm sick and tired of it.
I'm going to fix this somehow. I'm determined. My brother has so much going for him: looks, brains, popularity, and friends that stick with him through it all. Me? I got nothin'. I don't have a charming personality, I'm too lazy to really care about school, and my looks are average. The only friends I have are the ones that have known me since birth, and actually care enough to make sure I don't get myself killed doing something stupid. Remus and James keep telling me that I need to grow up a little bit more, but Sirius just keeps saying that they're both just full of shit.
I'm keeping this diary merely to get everything out of my system. It's going to be filled with what's left of me when I'm done causing trouble and raising hell all throughout Hogwarts with my fellow Marauders. I'm going to fight my own battles, slack off in classes, and probably have quite a few obnoxious parties. Yup, sounds like a good year to me.
I, Anniliese Lupin, do solemnly swear that I am, and probably always will be, up to no good.
Shit! I still haven't packed! Guess I better forget sleeping and rummage around until I find everything. I'll just sleep during class on the first day... Wish me luck!