Heya there. What's this? A new story? (Well, 'new'. Yeah, that's the last thing we all need but, oh well. Maybe I'm hoping this'll make up for disappearing off the face of the universe all the time, I dunno. But hey, the thing with this story is, it's really old and therefore- besides sitting on my phone forever- has been written on forever. Like 'hundreds of flickin' rules' forever. The only thing is I have to brave going through the whole ordeal of transferring everything from my phone- there's where I've been working on it like an afthole- onto here. Fun stuff.
I know it's been said time and again by me, but I'll go ahead and say it again. I'm sorry I just kind of abandon a story. The thing is, I'll get hyped up- well, used to, my writing creativity has nose dived off a cliff fifty times over- about a story I work on a great deal, want to post it, then end up stuck in a certain position. It's no excuse, I know, but it's the truth. The longest I've went on one story is near a couple hundred pages of notebooks paper, but it fell through in the end as well.
Anyways, the thing with this is that I really like the concept of rule stories. I've read Tatyana Witwicky's, tyrantqueenofcons', and several others'. Which- eventually- led to me making my own. Pit, that was what seemed like forever ago though. So- saying that- this ain't gonna be the greatest thing I've ever written or make much sense at times, some rules having random bits from other stories I've made in the past. Just a warning. Oh, and to all grammar police, you're going to hate me. There is A LOT of slang in this. Just sayin'.
Here ya'll go. Hope ya like it!
Disclaimer: The idea of rule stories was created by a beautiful person with amazing ideas. I ain't that person. I only own MY OC's and all that.
Yeah, hi. My designation (name to all you unknowing recruits) is Katlyn Marie Coleman. Please just call me by my first- or last on the rare occasion- name though. I don't really care which. I'm not really much around here, but I was nominated to make this particular set of rules. Yay. Anyways,- like the title suggests- this is a simple guide that natural blond's- like me- should be able to understand. Hopefully. I have to warn you that we're all insane though. Starting at the numerous humans, Autobots, neutrals, and former Decepticons running about, to the likes of me.
(Note: If the twins, or anyone else manage to get ahold of the notebook, keyboard, phone, or anything else I feel like using, then I deeply apologize.)
...
Chapter 1
Rule #1
Don't be an idiot, act like you have some common sense
-There's a time and place to goof off
Rule #2
Never incur the bots' wrath
-You'd think this would go without saying
-You'd also be wrong
Rule #3
I use the blond's stereotype against myself
-Don't take it personally
-Only mean it towards myself
Rule #4
Apparently I'm a good 'cuddler'
-Whateva ya say, Sides'
Rule #5
No custom t-shirts
-Sarcasm (written in a heart over your heart. Or holo's spark)
-Deadpan (frying pan with 'dead' written on the front)
-Etc
Rule #6
NEVER mess with Jazz's CD collection
-Or anyone/bots' for that matter
Rule #7
Don't torment someone that has a head/helmache
-I baited Ratchet into taking Lennox off duty last week because of a splitting migraine
Rule #8
Don't go around 'singing' ''you've been THUNDERSTRUCK!''
-It tends to gather some looks
-Your sanity will be questioned
-And Thundercracker will give you the weirdest glance
Rule #9
Don't sneeze really loud and say afterwards ''I think Mt. Rushmore just erupted...''
-You will be questioned
-And corrected
-''Mt. Rushmore is a mountain, Katlyn.''
-''Hence the 'Mt' part''
Rule #10
Never say the following around certain bots:
-''Primus fraggit!'' (Prime grounded me)
-''Holy fudgecakes!'' (Got some weird stares from numerous bots. Especially former 'cons)
-''Holy fragballs!'' Ratchet almost wrenched me)
-''Shootfire!'' (Said it around Ironhide. Who then shot Ratchet in the aft on accident)
-''TASTE THE FRAGGIN' RAINBOW!'' ('Cade just goes with it anymore. I've actually caught him saying it)
-''TASTE THE FRICKEN' SARCASM!'' (Star has taken this to a whole other level)
-And many more
-I tend to say the last two a lot
Rule #11
Don't bring up flavored condoms
-Just no
Rule #12
Don't show the bots parodies
-Especially Taylor Swift's 'Bad Blood' parody
Rule #13
This is to the female population of NEST:
-DON'T HIT ON SIDESWIPE OR SUNSTREAKER OR I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE
-Give it a try. Go ahead. I won't have to pay the bills
Rule #14
This is to any and all Cybertronian's:
-DON'T ALTER YOUR HOLOFORMS TO BE SOMEONE ELSE!
-Aforementioned will more than likely kick your aft to Kentucky
Rule #15
When a persons voice cracks, don't make fun of them
-Sam's and mine do it A LOT
-Sam when he's distressed
-Mine just because it's a traitor
Rule #16
Don't steal a humans' wallet
-Sideswipe and Sunstreaker- the geniuses they are- found Epps' in the Rec. Room and ended up going on a shopping spree
-I felt so bad that I paid him the four hundred fifty two dollars back
-I also may have apologized profusely for over twenty minutes...
-Then the twins walked in
-I ranted for an hour, then beat them over the helms
-Broke a few bones
-Ratchet was not amused
-(Neither were Sides' and Sunny)
-Especially since I didn't go to the medbay until he noticed my disfigured hand and drug me there...
(Author's Note: Soooo, terrible? No? Yes? Go ahead and tell me if you'd like. Any flames will be fed to the bonfires my neighbors like to have to ward off bugs though. And hey, if anyone wants this insanity to continue, go ahead and make my aft get in gear if you feel like it. Up to you though.)
Til all are one