It Ends Tonight
by: JnnLuvsU
Summary: Cameron does some thinking about her and House.
This came to me while listening to "It Ends Tonight" by the All American Rejects.
Oneshot songfic.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, but boy would that be fun.
It Ends Tonight
Cameron started the day with her normal morning routine. She got to work thirty minutes before everyone else, put on coffee and sorted through House's mail. She finished and leaned back in House's chair, stretching.
"Isn't that my chair?" His voice came from the door.
Cameron was surprised, normally he was the last to arrive, and usually she could hear him coming, but not this morning. She'd been too out of it. It had been over a year since their disastrous date, but she still couldn't control how her heart sped up when she say him everyday.
House limped over to her, "Are you going to get up or not?" He raised his eyebrows.
Cameron hadn't even noticed she'd yet to move, but quickly complied. In an attempt to cover, she walked to the coffee pot and handed him his coffee, "Here."
"Thank you, Dr. Cameron," he returned and pulled his mail toward him. His voice lacked its usual harshness.
Cameron stopped in her tracks and looked back at him. Had House actually just thanked her for something?
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
Driven by his unusual kindness, Cameron attempted conversation, "How are you today?"
House looked up at her, his expression questioning, "Same as every other day, just peachy," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Don't you have work to do?"
Cameron sighed; she should have known that it wouldn't work. Why did she have the unexplained need to be close to him, to try and make nothing into something? Because someday it might work is what a little voice in her head told her.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't what to need at all
Cameron walked out of the office and into the conference room without another word. Pulling charts toward her she glanced back into the office and noticed House looking at her. He glanced away as soon as she locked eyes, but she could have sworn she'd seen a strange expression on his face. Almost wistful.
Smiling softly to herself, Cameron realized with horror what she was doing to herself and had to stop it. She glanced at the clock and realized that she needed to think. Everything in her told her to make a phone call and it would all be over, but she held out. And even as she walked out of the conference room and out of the office, she knew that as long as he looked at her like that, she'd never have the guts to do it.
House called after her, "Where do you think you're going?" he asked without even looking up from his desk. The harsh voice was back.
Cameron turned and glared at him. He was such a contradiction to everyone, even himself. She didn't understand him, "Away."
A falling star
Least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain
Four hours in the clinic and another difficult patient with House brought Cameron astounding clarity. He was harsh with everyone; she didn't understand why she took this differently. But it made her realize something she'd never wanted to realize: He would never want her. That would never change. And accepting that would be the best thing for her to do.
She made up her mind and made the phone call she'd been dreading. Then she steeled her never and walked to Cuddy's office.
She emerged under an hour later and smiled. A weight had been lifted and she felt free for the first time in months. The smile dropped off her face as she remembered the conversation she had to have first. She made her way back to House's office.
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening I give the final blow
House was sitting at his desk when she walked back into the office. She couldn't keep the smile off her face; things were going to get better. They couldn't get any worse.
House looked up and was unnerved by the smile on Cameron's face, "What are you so happy about," he asked, disinterestedly, looking back down at his desk.
"An opportunity has come up," she started and took a deep breath. "I've decided to take it. I leave tomorrow. Today's my last day."
House's head shot up, but he kept his cool, "Where?"
"Washington," Cameron stated, "Seattle."
"Why so suddenly?" House asked, trying to think of a way to talk her out of this without her picking up on it.
Cameron smiled, "There are things that have become clear to me." She leaned over the desk placing her hands on what he was reading, forcing him to look at her, "This is something that I need to do."
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
"And what if I need you to stay here?" he returned, baring his soul for the first time.
Cameron's resolve faltered, but she held firm, "You don't need me, House. You have your sarcasm, your harshness, and your pills. That's all you've ever needed."
House snorted, "Ok, then what if I wanted you to stay here?"
Cameron shook her head, "Everyone lies, House." She'd always wanted to throw that back into his face, to catch him in a lie, "Even you." She turned away from him, "You don't need or want me. I need to get out." She walked toward the door.
He moved with an agility that she'd only suspected he had and blocked her exit, "Allison..."
Cameron cut him off, "NO!" She was angry now, "You don't get to treat me like crap, tease me about my attraction to you, tell me that all I want to do is fix you for over a year, and then just apologize, say a few nice things, and expect everything to be okay. It doesn't work that way House. This," she gestured between them, "Us." She looked into his eyes, "It ends tonight."
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
House looked at the floor, "I'm sorry," was all he said as he moved away from the door.
Cameron saw her exit, but couldn't leave like this. She turned back to him, "You should be happy," she said. "You always said that I needed to get over you. This is my chance. I'm taking your advice. It's not my fault that you never really intended me to." She walked out the door.
She stood just outside the door and turned to face him, tears in her eyes. He was going to be angry with her for a long time for this. She rested her hand on the glass for a moment. When his hand reached for the handle, she stepped back, and quickly wiping her eyes, walked away from him.
Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
The End.
Author's Notes: Did you like it, hate it?