Author's Note: I have done a bit of research on this particular disease, but I am by far NOT a doctor, and therefore will probably get some stuff wrong. Please, just bear with me and your imagination if I get something wrong. Thanks! PLEASE R&R!
"What have you got for me?" House asked as he entered the room.
"35 year old male, was in a car accident, partial paralysis and severe confusion. Tests came out normal, no head injury, and no SCI. According to medics and nurses in E.R., he had no obvious injuries. Barely a scratch on him in fact." Foreman replied, handing House the file.
"No obvious injuries? I guess not being able to move the right side of your body and not knowing your own name couldn't possibly be due to injuries." House snarked.
"Tests showed a high level of antibodies, but that was all." Chase added, twirling his pen in his fingers.
"Well, then, I guess they missed something, didn't they? Go do the tests again, run an MRI, and check for anymore loss of feeling of movement. Cameron, get a history on him, find out if his parents were nuts." House ordered, then walked out ahead of his team. He went right, towards Wilson's office, the team went left.
"Interesting case you have, I hear. Paralysis for no reason." Wilson said as House sat down on the edge of his desk.
"Probably brain tumor or spinal lesion that they missed. I'll be home by lunch." House replied cockily.
"Oh, but they are having meatloaf in the cafeteria today. You don't want to miss that, now do you?" Wilson joked.
"Oh, heaven forbid I miss Meatloaf Day." House said with a roll of his eyes.
An hour later, House wandered back into his office to find Chase, Foreman, and Cameron waiting for him.
"MRI and history were clean, although now he has tingles in his right leg." Foreman said.
"So, he is getting better. Send him back to a room and let them deal with him." House said, sitting down and popping a Vicodin.
"However," Foreman continued, "now he is having muscle jerks and weakness in his left side."
"Of course he is." House sighed, then thought for a moment. "Do a spinal tap, see if there is any infection. Tell me what you find. I'll be in the cafeteria."
House stepped into the elevator, right into what seemed like a one-person warzone.
"Stupid, idiotic nurses and doctors. Don't know what the hell they are doing." The woman mumbled and House stepped in.
"Problems?" he asked, even though he didn't really care.
"The staff here are clueless. My husband has been here for four days and they haven't a clue what is wrong with him. And now, the doctor who is in charge of his case has ordered yet another spinal tap. Moron." She replied and House just grunted noncommittally. "Are you a patient here?"
"No. Just a stupid doctor." House replied, looking at the woman for the speck of embarrassment and guilt that he so often saw in people after they rant to the wrong person. Surprisingly, he saw no change in emotions from the woman.
"Idiotic, I believe was the term I used respectively for the doctors." The woman answered without missing a beat.
"Gee, thanks for the correction. I'll keep that in mind." He snarked back. He considered arguing with her, push her buttons like he loved to do to people, but something stopped him. Not many people would stand up for what they said, right or wrong, and snark right back to him.
"Anytime." She replied, just as the elevator opened to the lobby. Without another word, she left him standing in the elevator, his face a mix of confusion and, perhaps, a touch of admiration.
The meatloaf turned out to be just as gross as one would imagine from a hospital cafeteria. House was once again heading back to his office, but was stopped by Cameron.
"Spinal tap was clean. No sign of infection, and no signs of any cancers in any of the other tests. What next?" she asked.
"Now, I talk to him myself." House replied, heading toward the room that held his newest patient. Cameron followed.
"What are you thinking?" she asked.
"Too much ketchup, not enough salt. They always use too much and too little in their food." House replied. Opening the sliding door to the room, he saw the woman from the elevator and cocked his head at her.
"I am Doctor Gregory House, aka Moron, as you put it so delicately." He greeted, and was left waiting still for the shock and guilt he wanted.
"Alexis Miracle." She replied, shaking his hand. He narrowed his eyes at her.
"No apologies for insulting me?" he asked.
"Prove me wrong and I'll buy you flowers." She retorted. He couldn't hide his slight grin.