My Snowstorm, a scrubs fanfic

The idea for this fic just struck me out of nowhere and I just had to get it written as quickly as possible. I'm glad I wrote it as a one-shot; instead of posting chapters as soon as I'd written them, I had the time to go back and fix every little thing that mattered to me.

Thank you to everyone who's been so great with reviewing My Bad Week; I'm still kind of working on that, but this fic couldn't wait!

Finally, I enjoyed writing this a lot. I hope if you enjoy it too (or not) that you'll leave me a review. I know it's harder to leave reviews for one-shots, knowing there won't be another chapter (I'm often guilty of that myself) but it would really mean a lot to me if you could leave even a short review.

I talk too much. Here's the fic.

Even before Kelso came up to me, I was in a bad mood. It's always a bad day when I actually look forward to getting to the hospital. Jordan and the baby both had colds and I honest to God could not take one more minute of sniffling, sneezing, coughing and complaining/crying. In retrospect, though, escaping to work was not the cleverest way to get away from sick people, seeing as the hospital was full of, well, more sick people.

And that was just the staff, most of who happened to have colds. Further proof, as if I needed it, that God truly, truly hated me.

'If I hear just one more person sneeze,' I muttered as Laverne shuffled by me, noisily blowing her nose, 'then that person is going to pay. Yeah, that's right Nervous Guy,' I added as he faltered while passing me, twitching in fear, 'you just keep moving and hold back the sniffles and you'll live, 'kay?' With a yelp, he scuttled off, paperwork scattering from his arms.

'Atchoo…'

My upper lip curling into a snarl, I turned to see who I would be strangling the life out of so that the common cold would never bother them again. My anger softened slightly when I saw that it was Newbie. Because he was one person who I definitely didn't have a problem with killing.

He and his turtle-headed wife had evidently just arrived; they were bundled up in coats and scarves and flakes of snow dusted their heads and shoulders. Well, Newbie's head. It seemed to just melt on Gandhi's and drip down the sides of his face.

Gandhi was leaning over the counter of the nurses' station to Carla. 'Yeah, baby, you should've seen it,' he was saying smugly. 'Huge pile of snow…Vanilla Bear's face…how did I have a choice in the matter?'

Newbie sneezed forlornly. My eyes narrowing, I began my attack prowl.

'Turk, how could you?' Carla was scolding. 'When JD has a cold!'

'Don't worry about it, Carla,' Newbie replied. His voice was somewhat hoarse and rasping. This just got better and better. 'He's been punished thoroughly.' He mimed throwing a snowball in Gandhi's face. Gandhi pulled him into a headlock and the two of them scuffled.

'Let me guess, Newbie, you withheld sex for a week?' I said loudly, announcing my presence. Newbie and Gandhi straightened up, their expressions mutinous. 'But that would seem like a dream come true to Gandhi here, so I can only guess that his punishment was a big ol' helping of very sniffly sexual re-lat-ions. And my God, hasn't your mommy just wrapped up the two of you up snugly against that nasty cold weather? Wouldn't want to be getting a little chill, would we? And I…' For the first time, my eyes travelled further up than Newbie's face, further even than the usual reaches of his gelled, very very sad, hair. I blinked. 'And…what a very fetching bobble hat, Newbie.' That was all I could find to say about it, really.

Newbie stared at me suspiciously for a moment, waiting for the insult. When it didn't come, his lips curved upward in a hopeful smile. 'Really?'

'No. I was of course being sarcastic. Holy cow, my son has more fashion sense than you. In fact, there are probably forms of bacteria that have more fashion sense than you.'

Carla reached over and squeezed Newbie's arm. 'Ignore him, Bambi,' she soothed. 'It's important to wrap up well when you have a cold.'

'Ah,' I said. 'I was just coming to today's policy on colds.' They all looked at me apprehensively. I cleared my throat. 'If I hear one person sneeze, sniff, cough, hack, gasp, moan, groan or partake in any of those delightful cold-related activities, I will be forced to bash your head repeatedly against the wall. So I'd go ahead, Newbie, and unwind that scarf from around your neck and tie it around the lower half of your face instead so as to stifle any sound. In fact, why don't you put a paper bag over your head and then I won't have to look at you all day. You can poke eyeholes in it, if you like. We can even draw a little face on it, but a moronic face, obviously, to best represent – '

'Perry, a word,' called Kelso as he stalked by, interrupting me mid-tirade. I grimaced.

Carla leaned forward and looked me steadily in the eye. 'Thank God,' she told me, with feeling.

Kelso was in his office by the time I caught up. 'What now, Bobcat?' I said.

'Perry, you know this medical conference I told you about a few weeks ago?' he said, propping his feet up on the desk and blowing over the rim of his coffee cup.

I did. 'No.'

'Well, the doctor I chose to go had something come up. So you are going instead.'

'Uh…come again, Bobbo?'

'You are going and you are going today,' he replied calmly. 'It's a few hours' drive and it's at five this afternoon, so you'd better jump to it.'

'Hold up there, you can't just force me to – '

'Would you rather reimburse the cost of the twenty or so books on erectile dysfunction that were delivered to my office yesterday, charged to the hospital?'

I fought a grin. That had been one of my best yet, and I'd been prepared to fully pay for it in whatever devious scheme Kelso thought up in retaliation. Not that I was going to go down without a fight.

Then again…the books had been rather expensive. Jordan would find out. She would rip into me with a lecture on responsibility and maturity, punctuated with lots of coughing. She would work herself hoarse, and then she'd make me rub her chest with soothing oils, and that was a place no man should have to go.

And there was the possibility that no one would have colds wherever I was going.

Kelso was watching me. I shrugged. 'Fine. I'll go to your stupid conference. Even though it's snowing out and there's a high risk of me crashing my car and dying a horrible death.'

'Good. Oh, and Perry?'

'What?'

'Tell Doctor Dorian that he will be accompanying you.'

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

I swung my foot back and let it thud into the wall outside Kelso's door. It left a very satisfactory mark.

'Why do you people hate me?' said the janitor from behind me.

I ignored him. Kelso could shove his medical conference up his ass. If he thought for one minute that I was willing to go three hours in a confined space with no company other than Newbie, especially on a day when he was particularly grating on my nerves…

'Atchoo! Atchoo! Atchoo! Unngghh…' That sad sack Ted was leaning against the wall just ahead of me, dabbing delicately at his bright red nose with a crumpled tissue. Barbie passed me, coughing and spluttering. And now I could hear that the whole hallway was a chorus of sneezing and coughing, of doctors and nurses mumbling miserably through blocked noses and calling for more tissues.

My jaw locked, comparing one sick person to many sick people surrounding me all day at work. But if that one sick person was Newbie…

Kelso appeared in the doorway. 'Are you going or not?' he demanded, looking at me beadily. 'Because if you aren't, then you can write out a check to the hospital for two hundred and fifty dollars.'

Two hundred and fifty dollars for a pile of books? I hadn't even bothered taking note of the price when I'd ordered them. Screw that.

'Enjoy the books, Bob.'

Newbie had changed into his scrubs, but he and Carla were still chatting by the nurses' station. Wasn't anyone going to get any damn work done around here?

I whistled, and pointed at Newbie. 'You. Come.'

'Huh?'

'Get your coat and paper bag. We're going to a medical conference.'

'Really? Me? With you?'

'Yes, really; yes, you, with me; and no, Newbie, as I can see your two brain cells working rapidly to work out why exactly you have been chosen, let me tell you, I was not the one who handpicked you out of this crowd of lemmings to join me. Kelso is forcing me to drag you along as a result of me offering some helpful advice and is blindly refusing to accept that his problem is indeed a problem.'

'What?' Carla said.

'So to put it bluntly, Newbie, this is not of my own free will and three hours spent alone in a car with you will be pure, unadulterated torture. So hop to it, Sally.'

'Awesome,' Newbie muttered, and left.

'I don't know how I'll be able to stick him, Carla, I honestly don't.' I turned to her. 'In fact, I'll be surprised if I don't fling open my car door ten minutes into the journey and hurl myself out into the sweet, sweet release of death.'

'I am telling you for the last time, be nice to Bambi,' Carla warned. 'I know he's used to you by now, but sometimes I wonder just how much your little rants sink into his head and stay there. I think he's more thin-skinned than you realise.'

'Oh, so I should give poor pathetic Newbie hex-tra special treatment because she's a sensitive wittle soul?'

'Yes,' Carla replied simply. She shrugged. 'I don't know what it is, but JD's not like everyone else and sometimes he does need special treatment. You take care of him. He needs you.'

'Give me a break! I don't even know where to start telling you what's wrong with… Oh no, Newbie, no! Just no!' I shouted as I saw him coming down the corridor towards us, fully kitted out in his winter gear. 'You are not wearing that travesty of a bobble hat. You are not.'

'It's cold out,' Newbie protested, just as Carla said, 'He's sick…' I ignored them both and ripped the bobble hat off Newbie's head, tossing it away

Newbie sighed.

'Go get in the car,' I ordered. 'I want to get this over and done with as soon as possible. Actually…' I paused. 'I've got a swell idea. Why don't I drive and you follow me on your scooter?'

'Perry,' Carla said. She turned to Newbie. 'Now you're sure that you feel okay? Did you find those throat sweets I left in your coat pocket this morning?'

'Yeah, thanks, Carla.'

'No problem, Bambi. Well, the two of you…have fun.' She winced sympathetically at Newbie before hugging him.

It looked like it was supposed to be a short hug. Carla started to pull away, but Newbie's grip tightened on Carla almost imperceptibly. I frowned, but Carla didn't even hesitate; she wrapped her arms more tightly around him, holding him closely to her, rocking slightly back and forth. Newbie rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes, looking for all the world as if he'd fallen asleep there. Carla's eyes were closed too, and her hands moved in gentle patterns across his back. The two of them were locked in their own little bubble, entirely oblivious to me and the rest of the surrounding hospital.

After a moment, Newbie straightened up. Carla smiled at him and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. 'Bye, Bambi.'

'Bye bye Carla,' he replied, blinking dreamily down at her. Then, without a glance in my direction, he walked by me towards the lifts.

I looked at Carla. 'I…have no words. Honestly, Carla, could you baby him any more? I wonder, if you met his mother would it turn into a catfight between you over whose turn it was to give him his bottle?'

'Have fun at the conference,' Carla said sweetly.

Fat flakes of snow were whirling out of the sky when I stepped out of the hospital, and I had to trudge through a thick layer of snow to get to my car. Newbie had already made a mini snowman on the trunk. I growled and swiped at it.

'Hey…'

'Make yourself useful, Denise, and get this snow off my car.'

Newbie started brushing the snow off the front windscreen. 'I was gonna make a snow angel,' he said hoarsely, 'but then I figured maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to get all wet.'

'What the hell? No, it would not have been a good idea! The last thing I need is for you to be more sick and coughing even more on the way. Actually, get out of the cold entirely. Go on, get in the car.'

It took me a few minutes to get the snow off the roof. The falling snow was really starting to pick up and the icy wind bit painfully at my ears. When I got into the car, Newbie was huddled in the passenger seat, his chin tucked into his scarf. 'I didn't know you cared,' he croaked at me.

'Newbie, please, never confuse concern for my own mental well being with concern for you. Right now I honestly couldn't care less if you were dying of bronchitis.' I reversed the car carefully and then pulled out into the snowstorm. I had to grind my teeth to keep from yelling in frustration. The snow could add hours to our journey. We might even miss the conference. And what if the snow was so bad that we couldn't make the journey home? Oh dear God, I would have to share a hotel room with Newbie.

I focused on the debt of two hundred and fifty dollars and the wrath of Jordan that I would have to face if I chickened out now. No, I was just going to have to be a man and put up with Newbie.

'Throat sweet?' he offered.

'Shut it, Newbie.'

There was a silence.

'I wish I had my hat.'

'Newbie, I'm warning you. Not one more sound.'

He began coughing violently.

I groaned.

We were half an hour into our journey when I began to recognize Kelso's genius in thinking up this scheme: Plan A: I died of a sudden heart attack caused by irritation at Newbie's incessant coughing. Plan B: We were both killed by the blizzard now whipping around the car. Or Plan C: I was so irritated by Newbie's incessant coughing that I lost concentration and the car went out of control in the snowstorm, and, of course, we were both killed.

'Evil son of a bitch, I can't wait to… Newbie, could you quit that hacking for five goddamn seconds?'

'Sorry,' he rasped. 'Have…have you got a bottle of water anywhere?'

'No.'

'Can we stop for some?'

'No.'

This was ridiculous. Half an hour inching up the highway and we still hadn't gotten anywhere. I couldn't see a thing through the blinding snow. I shook my head. It wasn't often that I conceded defeat to Bob Kelso, but I was going to have turn around. It was just too crazy to try driving in this snow for one more minute. If you weren't careful, the snow could hypnotize you…the millions of patterns formed by the flakes, the thousands of swirling vortexes…all had a strange beauty…

'Look out!' Newbie yelled.

I realised that I'd been doing the very thing I'd been trying to avoid: letting myself get lost in the snow dancing outside the windshield. Now the car was veering dangerously towards the edge of the road, out of control…and then I felt the car hit a patch of ice and we were suddenly spinning wildly. The brakes screeched, Newbie was yelling, I was probably yelling too, but I was focused on locking the steering wheel and mentally cursing Kelso to hell. I couldn't see a thing through the whirling snowflakes, couldn't even tell which way we were facing. And then the ice was gone, but we were slipping down a steep incline at the side of the road, being viciously bumped and jolted. There was one moment of piercing, terrifying clarity, when I thought the car was going to turn over, but it didn't. We simply veered rapidly down the incline, skidded at the bottom…I felt momentary relief as I realised we were slowing down but then…

BANG.

There was an ear-deafening crash and I was thrown forward in my seatbelt as I felt the car buckle around something with a thousand tiny groans and a lot of shattering. There was a torturous creaking and squealing from the car, which died away, bit by bit, until there was silence. Once the ringing in my ears had ceased slightly, the sound of the wind and snow howling around the car reached me.

I realised that I had forgotten to breath and inhaled shakily. I carefully flexed my muscles; nothing seemed to hurt. I exhaled, and then remembered Newbie. I looked around at him. He was hanging forward in his seatbelt, his mouth open, his eyes blank. Fear as I had never known it flooded my stomach, made bile rise in my throat. I grabbed his arm. 'JD? JD, are you all right? Say something, quick.'

He sneezed.

The engine stuttered for the thousandth time. I groaned and let my head thunk onto the steering wheel. 'My car…'

'It's not like we could've gotten very far, anyway…'

'Newbie, you're doing that thing again.'

'What thing?'

'Talking.' I straightened up and stared straight ahead through the windscreen, gripping the steering wheel, gazing absently at the whirling snow and the dark shape of the tree that we'd hit.

'Uh…Doctor Cox?'

'One more word and you die, Newbie.' I twisted my head towards him and fixed an insane grin on my face. 'Shall we consider our situation? We are trapped in a broken-down car in a godforsaken no man's land, with no apparent signs of habitation. Neither of us can get a signal on our cell phones. We are in the middle of a snowstorm that might last for days, and we have no food or warmth. Oh, and we are trapped with each other, which might be a dream come true for you, Samantha, but is in fact my own worst nightmare, because, as you know, I truly despise you. Now what have you got to say to that?'

'It's not that bad. We can drink snow. And we can play Toe Finger.'

I blinked. 'I'm…I'm not even going to ask.'

Newbie shrugged impatiently. 'Fine. Let's go back to the highway and try hitch a ride home.'

'Haven't you noticed, sweetheart, that with all this snow we're more likely to be hit by the very car we're trying to hitch a ride off? Of course, it would be a preferable death to this slow, painful one.'

'Well, that's all I've got,' Newbie snapped and let his head fall back, his eyes closing. I studied him. He really did look sick: his face was exhausted and pale and dark circles ringed his eyes. It made me feel a tiny bit better that at least he was feeling more crap than I was.

There was a silence for about five minutes, then Newbie sighed. 'Have you got any other ideas?'

I grimaced. 'No. Let's go.' Newbie glanced at me once and reached for the door handle. I realised that climbing out into a blizzard wouldn't be the best thing for his condition. 'Wait, Newbie… Wrap your scarf around your nose and mouth.'

He did so, and his bright blue eyes over the thick wool flashed to my face.

'Okay?' I said grudgingly.

'Yeah.' His voice was muffled.

'Sorry about your hat.'

'It's okay.'

My first mistake had been driving off into a snowstorm. My second mistake was getting out of the car into the snowstorm.

The snow whirled thicker than I could have imagined, and stung my face in a thousand different places. I could see nothing but the blinding white snow in all directions and Newbie, who was a dark shape struggling beside me. I couldn't even hear the crunch of my feet as I sank ankle deep into the snow with every step; the howling of the wind in my ears drowned out all other noise.

My third mistake was just being so damn stupid.

Once we got out of the car, I tugged Newbie's sleeve and we set off in the direction I thought the highway was. But after ten minutes of stumbling through the snow, it became abundantly clear that we should have reached the highway long before now. We'd only skidded down away from the road in the car for a short bit.

'Doctor Cox!' Newbie shouted in my ear. 'I don't think the road is this way!'

'Brilliant deduction, Mary Jane!' I yelled. I paused, shivering. If I could just see a foot ahead of me… or even if I could hear the faint swish of cars on the highway… but then no one else would be stupid enough to be driving in this.

And here we were out in the middle of it.

'We're going back to the car, Newbie,' I shouted. 'At least we'd have a chance of actually surviving this.' I wasn't sure if he could even hear me, but I saw him nod and we both turned and headed back the way we'd come.

Or at least, the way I thought we'd come. We'd only been walking back for five minutes when the panic I hadn't been allowing myself to feel, ever since I realised there was no way we were going to find the road, swept through me. If we couldn't find the way back to the highway, how were we ever going to find our way back to the damn car?

Newbie stumbled beside me. Over the moan of the wind, I could dimly hear him coughing. I caught his upper arm in a tight grip and paused until the coughing fit had passed.

'All right, Newbie?' We were both huddled forward, our foreheads practically pressed together in order to hear each other, but now wasn't quite the time to rag Newbie about the close proximity.

'Yeah,' Newbie shouted weakly. 'Doctor Cox, I don't think we – '

I shook him roughly. 'We're going to find the car, you hear me? So just keep your mouth shut and keep moving. C'mon.'

We pressed on through the tiny, stinging snowflakes for another ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. We were probably going around in circles, or else heading further out into the wilderness. We were going to die out here. Well, Newbie might die first because he was sick and generally an all-round weakling. I could take his clothes then and maybe I would live long enough to tell the paramedics to give Kelso a kick in the balls from me.

Thirty minutes. I had never let go of Newbie's arm, but now it suddenly slipped away from me, taking me by surprise. I spun around. Newbie had fallen, and was lying on his side in the snow, coughs shaking his entire body. I knelt and hauled him into a sitting position, supporting him until, again, the coughs had died away.

I tried to pull him up but his fingers grasped feebly at my coat. 'Not yet… I can't…just a minute…' he gasped.

'Goddamn you, Newbie,' I growled, letting go of him and getting to my feet. I stood there for a minute, squinting into the snow. I guessed one minute standing here wasn't going to make a difference to another minute walking aimlessly nowhere. Yet now that I had stopped to think about it, yet more panic set in. Since going this way wasn't getting us anywhere, I was going to have to pick another direction, and it was a chance in a million that it would lead us to the car. Should I go left? Or right? Or towards that…dark shape?

The car.

Never taking my eyes off the car, fearing it was a hallucination and would disappear if I so much as blinked, I crouched, slipped one arm around Newbie's waist, yanked him to his feet and began dragging him towards the car. He was still coughing and shuddering against me, hardly able to walk, but I ignored him and concentrated on getting us both through the snow, one step at a time, until finally we had reached the car. I pulled open the passenger door, threw Newbie in by the scruff of the neck, and fought my way to my own side, finally able to clamber in and slam the door on the shrieking nightmarish world outside.

After a moment of simply sitting there gasping, I became aware of a few things. Painful things.

'Aargh, my ears…'

Not to mention my hands, which were bright red and totally numb. Also, now that the stinging snow was no longer a problem, it was time for me to acknowledge the fact that the air in the car was frigid and that I was soaked through.

Newbie was wheezing. I looked over at him. His face was almost frighteningly white, and he was shaking so violently that the whole car trembled with him.

'Easy on the melodramatics, Newbie,' I said, annoyed. 'I got us out of that mess, didn't I?'

'You were the one who got us into it,' he rasped.

'Hey, you were the one who suggested it in the first place!'

'Well, you – ' Whatever Newbie had been planning to say was lost in a fit of coughing. He hunched his shoulders and pressed his hands to his mouth until he was breathing raggedly again.

'That's right, win the argument by playing the sick card.' Oh God, he really was sick. He'd already been unwell, and now he was soaked through with wet snow and no foreseeable chance of getting dry or warm again anytime soon.

'I was going to say, if you're so great, do you have any ideas on how to get us out of this mess?'

'I had one, and it was the same as yours,' I snapped. 'And that worked so well, didn't it?'

Newbie let out something like a laugh. 'It was fun, let's do it again.' After a pause he said, 'What are we gonna do now?' He sounded hesitant, nervous. He was scared.

I crossed my hands behind my head and closed my eyes. 'There's nothing we can do, Newb. We're going to be stuck in here for as long as this snowstorm lasts, drinking snow, eating your throat sweets and playing Toesies, or whatever the hell you call it.'

More silence. It was strange: the wind and snow howling and buffeting at the car was loud, yet it seemed almost utterly silent and still in this grey, cold, enclosed world of ours. Suddenly Newbie said, 'This sucks.' His voice cracked slightly. I opened my mouth, about to berate him for being such a girl, but then I realised how utterly crappy he must be feeling right now. I supposed that for once I could be slightly humane and try to take his mind off it.

'Wanna hear something terrific, Newbie?'

'What?' he said apprehensively.

'Turns out the best way for two people to avoid being cold is to snuggle.' I bared my teeth at him. 'What do you make of that?'

He laughed once, in an embarrassed way. 'Wait, I have heard that. And that it's best to snuggle, er…nekked.' He grinned and waggled his eyebrows, but his cheeks were fiery red.

'Yeah, and I know you wouldn't be averse to that,' I said, relieved that he seemed more cheerful and that there was some colour in his cheeks. 'Well, the snuggling part, anyway. I don't know how you feel apart the naked bit. I don't think I want to know.'

'I wouldn't mind doing the nekked snuggle thing if it was Nurse Tisdale,' Newbie said thoughtfully, ignoring my teasing. 'And no offence, Doctor Cox, but you are no Nurse Tisdale.'

'I wouldn't mind the Nurse Tisdale thing either. I'll slaughter you if you ever repeat that to Jordan.'

We both sighed, lost in our imaginings of a certain nurse. My own imaginings were mostly to keep my mind off Jordan and whether I would make it out of this to actually see her again.

Newbie shrugged, now grinning ruefully. 'I've spent the best part of three years trying to get a hug off you, so I guess snuggling is out of the question.' He laughed.

'Damn right.' I twisted fully in my seat to look at Newbie. 'I gotta ask, Lorraine. What the hell is it with you and hugs?'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, you never stop trying to get a hug off me, for some mysterious reason. Your arms sometimes seem to be permanently attached to Gandhi's waist. And then there was Carla this morning, you were practically clinging to her.'

Newbie coughed harshly, then said, 'Okay, I get it. I'm needy.'

'No, I – I know this sounds unbelievable, but…you happen to be the closest human being in my proximity at the moment, and I therefore have no choice but to, well, to talk to you. So, dare I say it, in the process of being forced to interact with you, I am actually curious.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

'Well…I dunno. My mom…she was always hugging me when I was little. I mean, like, always.' Newbie smiled affectionately, his eyes far away. 'She used to tell me how great I was and all this stuff…I just remember loving her more than anyone. But then she and my dad split up, and…she started dating all these guys. And the hugs just stopped. She used to hug me all the time, but then she just stopped. Whenever I tried to hug her, she'd push me away. She practically ignored me from then on, even now. So I guess…that's all some weird sort of explanation for why I'm always hugging people.'

'Wah,' I said sarcastically, but my heart wasn't really in it; I was remembering how gently Carla had mothered him this morning, how peaceful Newbie had looked. 'It still doesn't explain why you chose to latch onto me, of all people.' I remembered something else Carla had said earlier. 'Hey, Newbie,' I said hesitantly, 'the abuse and mistreatment that I dole out to you on a regular basis…it doesn't…stick, does it?'

Newbie frowned. 'I don't know. I don't think so. Because it's weird…Most of Mom's boyfriends were kinda like you. They told me I was crap and stupid and useless and stuff all the time.'

I blinked. 'Let me get this straight. As a result of your mother's abandonment, you now seek hugs and affection from me, a guy who reminds you of your mother's abusive boyfriends? You are one seriously messed-up human being there.'

'I know.'

He looked pale and sad and sick, and I heard myself saying, 'Okay. Maybe you are a bit messed-up, but who the hell isn't? I mean, look at me. I'm the most screwed-up person you'll ever be fortunate enough to meet. I'm the one who gives you constant abuse and crap without ever really meaning it.' I paused. Giving Newbie a vague apology was one thing, but go too deep and I'd be regretting it forever. If we ever got out of this. 'Sometimes,' I added. 'I can definitely recall at least one time when I didn't quite mean all of what I said to you.'

Newbie smiled and started to say, 'Well, I – ' but his face suddenly twisted in pain and he pressed both hands to his chest, gasping for breath.

I reached out to him, hoping I didn't look as worried as I felt. 'You okay?'

'Yeah,' he panted, but his expression was strained. 'My chest…like…a sharp stabbing…' He grimaced. 'I'm okay.'

'Don't you worry about a thing, Newbie. Soon Carla will be able to have you tucked up in bed for a week at the very least, and you can have all the cough drops you want.'

'Gonna need more than cough drops,' I heard him mumble.

I turned my attention to the front windscreen, watching the snow again. The flakes made tiny icy splotches wherever they hit the glass. The snow was a distraction. It helped to take my mind off our predicament, Newbie's condition, Jordan, Jack… It was absolutely killing me to know how close we were to the highway, but there was no way I was getting out of the car again.

I'd told Newbie we'd be out of here "soon", but how soon was soon? An hour? A day? More? What could happen in the space of a few days? How hungry would we get? How bored would we get? Would we both freeze to death? How much worse would Newbie get? It was hardly likely that he'd get over his cold in these conditions. Because that's all it was. A cold. Nothing more. It couldn't be.

I realised that Newbie's breathing, while still rough, was less laboured. Glancing over at him, I saw that his head had lolled to one side and his eyes were closed. I shook him. 'Newbie! Newbie, wake up.'

His eyelids fluttered rapidly for about ten seconds before he focused on me. Why the hell was it taking him so long to wake up? I leaned forward so that he could see me more clearly.

You are a doctor, correct? So you know that it's not a good idea to fall asleep while you're cold. C'mon, you have to stay awake.'

He moaned, rolling his head from side to side in irritation. His eyelids were still drooping. 'I'm tired now,' he complained. 'And I can't stay awake forever.'

That was true. I sighed. It would be highly frustrating to try to keep Newbie awake right now. I didn't have the energy for it. 'Fine. You can get into the back seat and sleep there for a while. But only for a while, hear me? Then I'm going to wake you up and you'd better stay awake, dammit. No arguments. Got it?'

'Whatever,' he muttered, already clambering into the back seat. I heard him lie down, coughing; only a minute passed before I heard his painful breathing even out slightly. I looked back at him. He was lying on his side, his face still and white, his eyelids a bruised purple. I reached back to touch a finger against his cheek. Ice-cold, of course.

Well, I was cold too.

It was only another minute before I gave in and pulled off my own coat. I threw it over Newbie, tucking it around his shoulders, trying not to wake him. If he woke up and saw what I'd done, I'd never live it down. But he was already dead to the world.

I turned back to face the front, rubbing my hands together, trying to think of anything but the cold.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Most likely a few hours. The snow hadn't eased any and I definitely hadn't got any warmer. In fact, I was much, much colder and was shivering violently. The cold seemed to penetrate all the way to my bones. I couldn't recall the sensation of warmth at all. I couldn't imagine ever being warm again.

There was a low moan from the backseat and I turned to see Newbie thrash in his sleep, throwing my coat off him in the process. He tossed and turned slightly, as much as the confined space would allow, frowning and mumbling to himself.

'Well, that's gratefulness for ya,' I muttered, reaching for the coat. Nothing in my life had ever been as tempting as to put my coat back on, but I laid it over Newbie once more.

To my surprise, he threw it off again, flailing. 'No…no…'

'What are you talking about, you idiot? Haven't you noticed that I've been trying to prevent you from freezing to death?' But his eyelids didn't so much as flicker. I swallowed hard. 'Anyway, it's time for you to wake up now. Remember? Newbie. Newbie. NEWBIE.'

He didn't even twitch. 'Oh, jeez.' I clambered into the back to join him. He was taking up the whole seat, so I lifted his upper body and sat down. I let his head and shoulders fall into my arms. At least he might keep me warm.

Now to get him to wake up. 'Newbie,' I said loudly in his ear. 'Wake up. Now!' I jolted him roughly and he stirred, blinking. 'About time.'

'Doctor…Cox?' he slurred sleepily. 'What…where…' He coughed. 'What did Turk want?'

It took me a moment to process this. 'What are you talking about?'

'Turk…when he was here…a minute ago…'

'What?'

'Turk!' His voice was weakly indignant. 'When he was here…walking Rowdy…he said…doughnuts…' He trailed off.

'Oh my God, Newbie, no! You are not doing this to me!' I clamped my hand over his forehead and hissed through my teeth when I felt the burning hot touch to my own icy skin. Fantastic. Just fantastic. I slapped Newbie's face, a little harder than I'd intended, but if it shocked a little lucidity into him then I wasn't complaining. His mouth dropped open and he stared up at me with clear eyes. Too clear.

'Better? Now tell me a few things. Where are we and what has happened to us?'

'We're…in your car,' he said hoarsely. 'The snow…we crashed…and Turk – '

'No!' I shouted. 'Newbie, you've got a fever and you're delirious. Turk was a hallucination. Turk was not here and is not here and will never be here. Have you got that?'

Newbie's gaze clouded. 'But…I saw him…'

I tugged at my hair. I knew it was useless to have a rational conversation with anyone who had a fever like this, but was it too much to ask that I had one other sane person to talk to right now? Newbie had hardly qualified as sane in the beginning anyway. Now this, on top of everything else. It was simply the icing on a very cold cake.

'Have it your way, then. How are you feeling?'

He coughed for an answer. And he coughed again. And again. His whole body convulsed with each cough and he choked. I lifted him so that he could breathe, my arm supporting his shoulders and he bent forward and coughed and coughed until I thought he would pass out from lack of air. All I could do was grip his shoulders and watch until he finally stopped coughing into his hands.

With a shuddering gasp, Newbie flopped back limply in my arms, drained. It was then that I saw the blood spattered around his mouth and the red stains on his hands. I didn't feel anything when I saw the blood. Just numbness. Automatically, I raised my hand and started wiping away the blood from Newbie's mouth with my sleeve. He lay very still across me while I did this, but then he blinked and two tears suddenly ran down his cheeks.

I wanted to say something. Words of comfort, of derision, a joke, anything. But my mouth seemed to be glued shut, and all I could do was continue dabbing at Newbie's blood, and then the tears, and then when I was done I started patting his hand. Just patting, gently, rhythmically. His shallow breathing once again began to deepen, and bit by bit his eyelids drooped until he was asleep again.

He was shivering. His forehead was burning but his hands were ice-cold. I grabbed my coat and pulled it over the two of us. Newbie's clothes were as cold and wet as mine, but he was a warm weight. I laid one arm over his chest and let my head fall forward; I was so cold by now that I couldn't bear facing it for one minute more. The sound of Newbie's snuffling breathing gradually faded as sleep overcame me.

I don't know how many times I woke up during that horrific night. Many times. Each time I woke up it was pitch black and the wind was louder than ever, screaming and shrieking around us. Every part of me was both numb and icy. It was Newbie who woke me each time; I'd be startled out of sleep by him convulsing violently in my lap, the harsh, horrible coughs echoing around the car. Again, there was nothing I could do but hold him until the coughing fit passed and then let him lie down again so that I could rock him slightly until he fell asleep again, mumbling restlessly, and it wouldn't be long before I was asleep too.

I was a bit delirious myself. I kept thinking I heard voices in the wind, people shouting as they discovered us. Jordan was there…Carla…others… They looked in the windows at us, opened the doors so they could touch us, but all anyone was doing was talking and shouting. More and more time passed and I tried to ask them why weren't they trying to get us out of the car; couldn't they hear JD screaming? Then I'd be jolted awake by Newbie coughing, and realise that it was just the wind screaming; and when I fell asleep again the nightmare would begin once more. Reality and nightmare blurred into one and I couldn't tell the truth anymore, and then there came a point where I slipped past both reality and nightmare into silent blackness.

It was too bright.

'Get 'way,' I mumbled, tossing my head, trying to escape the brightness, trying to find that blissful darkness again. I was too tired to wake up yet, and I could feel the cold hovering along with the light. It wasn't cold where the darkness was. There wasn't anything there.

But the light was everywhere, creeping under my eyelids, enticing them to open. Was someone trying to shine a light in my eyes or something?

And relief flooded through me as clarity returned. Of course someone was trying to shine a light in my eyes. A doctor was. We'd been found and we were being treated at the hospital.

I opened my eyes and squinted in the blinding glare of the sunlight. It took about thirty seconds for my eyes to adjust, and even then it was too bright. The sunlight reflected off the blanket of snow around us, glowing blue-white and illuminating the inside of the car with clear, crisp light.

Newbie was still asleep. He was as white and stiff and cold as a corpse. It occurred to me that maybe he was a corpse. He could have died in my arms during the night and I wouldn't have realised. Not breathing, not thinking, I slowly reached down and pressed my fingers to his wrist.

His pulse was there. Too slow, but steady. I exhaled.

And then my mind was clear and I was no longer the robot-person I'd been for however long I'd been sitting here with Newbie. I was Doctor Cox, and Doctor Cox took action instead of sitting around being relieved that his patient hadn't died yet.

I reached into my pocket for my cell phone and squinted blearily at the screen. Now that the snowstorm had passed, the reception was back. Good. I didn't dwell anymore on that, but dialled for an ambulance with stiff, unresponsive fingers. I directed them to drive down the highway and said that I would stand at the edge of the road so they could see me.

For a few minutes after I'd hung up, I simply stared into space for several minutes. Much as I wanted to believe that Robo-Cox had disappeared, I couldn't entirely shake him off. My body was still stiff, and my mind was blurred. I gave my head a quick shake, urging myself to snap out of it. I had to decide what to do with Newbie. He was still unconscious and didn't look like he was going anywhere soon, unless it was towards the light at the end of the tunnel. It would be easier to leave him in the car, but I was unhappy with that idea and it was hardly warmer in here than it was out there, anyway.

I pushed Newbie off my knees and struggled with the latch on the door. It was stiff and frozen, but after a sharp kick it gave way. At least the snow wasn't quite high enough to block the door. I struggled out and half-fell into the snow, my legs refusing to work properly just yet.

It was sunrise; the sun was a pale orb of light hanging above the eastern horizon. The snow stretched out in all directions, flawless and perfect. The highway was right there to my left, raised and flat. I looked at how close we'd been to the road the entire time and wanted to cry. Then I looked at the state of my car, crumpled around a tree, and I really wanted to cry.

I managed to struggle to my feet, wincing as the blood rushed into them again. Ignoring the hot prickling, I bent down to reach inside the car and shake Newbie. He murmured something but didn't wake up. I pulled him into a sitting position; his head lolled forward and his eyelids fluttered.

'Hey, Newbie, wake up. The snow's stopped.'

He mumbled something else.

'Don't you want to see?' I paused. 'Can you walk?' But he couldn't even open his eyes; of course he couldn't walk. Well, I wasn't leaving him here, even if I was only going to be feet away. I pulled his limp body forward, wrapped my coat securely around him, and lifted him into my arms.

It was tough going. Newbie was light enough, but wading knee deep through the snow was exhausting and my muscles were still frozen and uncoordinated. While I was struggling up the steep incline, the snow making me slip back a little with every step, Newbie came around. Clutching the front of my shirt and raising his head a little, he looked around blearily.

'Where,' he croaked. That seemed to be about all he could say.

'Highway,' I grunted. I didn't have enough breath to say anything much either. 'You just keep quiet and we'll take care of you real soon.'

By the time we finally managed to clamber up onto the highway, Newbie was back to shivering violently again. I looked up and down once the length of the road, long and flat and shining wetly in the dawn. No sign of the ambulance, or of any other vehicle for that matter. I pulled my coat from around Newbie and threw it to the ground. 'Here, you sit on that.' I lowered him carefully on to the coat and then straightened up, looking around once more. 'Where the hell is that ambulance?' It was just something to say. I didn't really expect it to be here yet.

Newbie coughed.

'Don't you dare start,' I said. 'Don't you dare.'

But his whole body was wracked with coughs. I bent down and touched his shoulder but he shook me off, twisting away and falling onto his hands and knees. His shoulders heaved and he coughed and coughed. Blood stained the snow, seeped into it, brilliant red against white. Newbie retched fiercely again and again until finally he stopped and pitched forward. I grabbed him before he could hit the snow face-first, and knelt on the coat beside him.

'Dear God, Newbie, you're turning blue.'

He was gasping. 'Can't breathe,' he whispered. 'Can't…' He was straining for air, choking, his breaths quickly becoming shallower and more rapid.

I took his shoulders. 'Newbie, look at me! Calm down, okay? You have to calm down, or you're going to hyperventilate till you pass out. I know you can't breathe properly, but you're just going to have to live without deep breaths for the moment. Newbie?'

His face crumpled. The air rushing into and out of his lungs was a high-pitched whine. Tears were streaming down his face. I pulled him forward so that my chin was resting on his shoulder and my arms were around him as my hands moved in slow circles over his back. 'Calm down, calm down,' I whispered. Was this a sort of…a sort of…hug? I hoped he did pass out soon.

Finally, the wail of a siren cut through the quiet morning air. It was the sweetest sound that had ever reached my ears. 'Thank God,' I muttered. Newbie was still shuddering against me, but I didn't know whether he was conscious or not. The ambulance came into view at the bend, red and blue lights flashing, and it seemed like it was only seconds before it was right beside us and the paramedics were leaping out, running to us.

Still kneeling, I held Newbie out towards them. 'He can't breathe…'

There were hands everywhere, pulling Newbie away from me, pulling at me too, and voices swimming over my head.

'Hypothermia…'

'Inject him…'

Someone was talking to me, but the words were a meaningless blur. I could only look at Newbie as he was laid on a stretcher, an oxygen mask was attached to his face and a blanket was tucked around him. I realised that someone was wrapping me in a blanket as well.

'Sir, if you could come this way…'

I shook the hands off, irritated. 'I'm not a sir. I work at Sacred Heart like you.'

'Holy crap, Doctor Cox?'

I didn't know who the paramedic was and I didn't care. 'The one and only.' I pointed at Newbie. 'Look, he…I think he has pneumonia.'

'We're taking care of him, if you could just hop into the ambulance we'll be on our way…'

They were already loading Newbie in. I scrambled in after him, immediately going to his head and bending forward. 'Newbie? Newbie, can you hear me?' His eyes were tightly shut over the oxygen mask. Without even realising what I was doing, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly, willing him to wake up.

'Leave him be, sir, he'll be right as rain soon,' the other paramedic called to me. I clenched my teeth, but let the sir go this time. I didn't release Newbie's hand. If they'd seen the state he'd been in all night, they certainly wouldn't be claiming that he was going to be fine.

The ambulance jolted, and we were on our way. One paramedic, a woman, was still working over Newbie, attaching a drip and taking his pulse. I barely paid attention to her until she said, 'How are you feeling now, Doctor Cox?'

'I've been trapped in a car for twelve hours during a snowstorm. How do you think I feel?'

'I'd guess pretty cold. Here, take this heated blanket. You probably have mild hypothermia, but that's easily treated.'

'I know, I am a doctor.' Did this woman realise how incredibly stupid she sounded?

My tone didn't faze her; she simply grabbed a chart. 'Well, as you're a doctor, you'll be able to give me a briefing of Doctor Dorian's condition.'

I looked down at Newbie, slowly shaking my head. 'I…he…he was sick, and then he was cold, and then he was coughing…' I cleared my throat. 'He was coughing up…blood.' My voice was quietly horrified. Was that what I'd meant it to sound like? I didn't think so, but…I didn't know anymore.

The paramedic raised her eyebrows at the lack of medical details. 'Maybe we can go through that later.' She didn't say anything else for the rest of the trip and neither did I; I just sat with the blanket tight around me, watching Newbie. His eyes never opened.

When we reached the hospital, Newbie was wheeled off and I was brought to a room upstairs. I refused a wheelchair and ignored the surprised, anonymous faces around me as I marched down the corridor, wrapped in a blanket. I also refused the hospital gown that the nervous intern tried to make me put on.

'Look, I work here, and you know that, even though I can't recall exactly who you are at this time; nor do I care. So why don't you look just a little bit more nervous and go get me some scrubs, ya worthless peon? Oh, and a cup of coffee.'

Nothing had ever felt better than the dry, warm scrubs against my skin. I stretched my neck and rolled my head, falling into Doctor Cox-mode again. I considered storming off and starting to shout at people, but my muscles were still stiff and sore and besides, I had no shoes or socks. I hopped up onto my bed, leaned back against the pillows and paged Carla.

When she reached my room her eyes were wide with surprise. 'What are you doing here?' she said. 'Aren't you supposed to be in – ow!' I had grabbed her into a tight hug, crushing her against me. She seemed too shocked to protest. I released her after a minute and crossed my hands behind my head, grinning at her.

She folded her arms and stared at me. 'What the hell is going on?' she said quietly. 'Why are you here? Why are you lying on that bed with no shoes on?'

'What's going on? There's a question, indeed. Where to begin, where to begin. Well, first it was snowing a whole lot yesterday and we crashed into a tree. Then we got wet. Then Newbie coughed up a whole lot of blood and now we're here and he probably has pneumonia and there's an oxygen mask stuck on his face, and me, I feel just dandy but I wonder why no one has come to treat me yet? Maybe they think I'll treat myself as I've worked hard over the years to provide the impression that I can do just about anything by myself. And, that's the story.'

Carla blinked slowly. 'I – what? Could you repeat that? Did you say that JD has pneumonia? I don't understand.'

'I just explained it to you, Carla.' I rested my forehead in my hands. 'We crashed, okay? We were stuck in that goddamn snowstorm all night. You already knew that Newbie was sick and, well, he got worse.'

'You crashed? And JD's sick? He only had a cold! Oh my God…' Carla's hand drifted to her mouth. 'I can't believe this. Is he going to be okay?'

'So everyone says. But he has pneumonia, for crying out loud. What if he has respiratory failure? I should be with him…' I made a move as if to get off the bed, but she held me back firmly.

'Let's get a few things straight, Doctor Cox. First of all, do not under any circumstances connect the words 'JD' and 'respiratory failure' in the vicinity of Turk, because he will freak out and it will not be a pretty sight. Second, you stay right there and wait for the doctor. I know that if you thought JD was in any real danger, you would be having heart failure too.' She took a long breath. 'I can't get my head round this. Poor Bambi…'

'Poor Perry, is more like it. He was coughing blood all over me all night, Carla. If he doesn't die, then I'm going to kill him for ruining my shirt.'

She gave me a smile that was much to knowing, then patted my hand. 'I guess I should go find Bambi, and tell Turk too.' She winced. 'He's going to be a nightmare. And oh my God, Elliot.'

I eyed her carefully. 'You seem to be okay about it.'

'I know you would have taken care of JD,' she said softly.

'There wasn't much I could do, Carla.'

'I know you took care of him,' she said again, and before I could reply she said, 'Get some rest,' and left.

I laid my head against the pillows and closed my eyes. I was tired, and last night hadn't exactly been restful. At least this time I was in a bed, and was warm and dry, and Newbie wasn't throwing a fit in my lap every five minutes.

For the first time since we'd crashed in the snow, I finally let myself relax and sleep.

Newbie did have pneumonia, as well as hypothermia, but he was going to be fine. He had to stay in the hospital for a while, though, and still needed the oxygen mask. He was asleep when I went into see him briefly, and didn't wake up even when I cleared my throat as loud as I could. When he didn't stir, I repeated to myself what seemed to be my new mantra: At least he's not coughing up blood, at least he's not coughing up blood. And he was pale, but looked peaceful.

No matter how peaceful Newbie looked, the same could not be said of his friends. Barbie cried in the supply closet and shouted, 'Frick!' more than usual. Gandhi was just angry, but according to Carla, Barbie wasn't the only one who had been crying. As for Carla, however calm she'd been before, she seemed stressed out to breaking point. I didn't know what I was. I felt the same as always, but still a bit numb inside. Even when Jordan woke me up to plant a kiss on my lips and actually restrain herself enough to not bite my neck and leech my life-blood from me, I didn't really feel anything.

For a while. The irritation wasn't long in coming. First of all, it was clear that my lucky streak was continuing when I found out that Barbie was going to be treating me. She trembled with terror while examining me. That was okay. Fear was good. But then she seemed to forget that I was Doctor Cox and started jabbering at me in an increasingly high-pitched voice about…well, I think she was talking about Newbie. It was hard to tell. Then she cried. And coughed.

I left her sitting on the bed, weeping, and went out to join Carla at the nurses' station, as Jordan had had to go home to Jack. It was better than staying in my room with a hysterical Barbie, and I still needed to get my head straight. Maybe if I pretended that this was just a usual working day I could feel somewhat normal again, even if I was barefoot. But Carla kept running off to fetch me coffee, and didn't listen when I told her that there was only so much caffeine a person could take. Whenever she had a chance, Laverne told me that it was by God's grace that Newbie and I had been saved. And Gandhi showed up every five minutes to give us a breathless update of Newbie's condition, never mind that we'd only been here for a few hours and he'd been asleep the entire time.

Soon it all began to get to me. Not just Barbie's hysteria and Carla's overbearing concern, but everything. The people, the noise, the warmth…it was as if I hadn't quite taken it in yet, that I hadn't fully realised that I was back at the hospital and out of the car. I felt as if I was watching the hospital around me through a veil, having not yet returned to reality. Whatever it was, it somehow had me making my way back along the corridor to Newbie's room, opening the door, and quietly slipping in.

It was dark in here; someone had drawn the blinds and the only light filtered in from the corridor outside. Newbie's heart monitor pulsated softly in the dim light. He was motionless, still asleep. Slowly, I made my way over to the chair beside his bed and collapsed into it. Newbie didn't stir. I leaned back and crossed my ankles, and watched him for a while without seeing him.

The darkness and quiet of the room was peaceful, away from crowded bright corridors. The only sounds were that of the beeping heart monitor, the whoosh of oxygen and Newbie's slow breathing. A dim, enclosed, quiet space, with only a sick Newbie for company…it reminded me of being trapped in the car. It should have been an uncomfortable sensation, but it wasn't. It was as if I wasn't quite ready to return to reality. I just…I needed some closure, to see Newbie give me that infuriating goofy grin and reassure me that he was definitely going to be all right.

Time passed. The noise level in the corridors fell and rose again as lunchtime came and went. I was aware of people peering through the door at the two of us, most likely his friends, but I didn't turn around. Newbie slept on and I never moved from the chair, never closed my eyes.

Then, a few hours later, he stirred slightly; my breath caught and I sat up in the chair, leaning forwards. Newbie's eyelids fluttered and his head moved on the pillow; I thought he was about to wake up, but then he sighed and became still again. Impatient, I shook his shoulder, albeit gently. 'C'mon, Clarissa, wake up already! How much sleep does one human need, even useless lazy ones like you?'

His eyes opened, weirdly reflecting the lights of the heart monitor and he focused on me. He blinked several times, then raised a hand slightly and waved at me. 'Hey, Doctor Cox.' His voice was barely more than a scratchy whisper, but I could see him smiling behind the mask. Finally.

I'd meant to make a snide comment of some sort, but somehow I found myself grinning back at him. 'Hey there, Newbie.'

He frowned and made as if to pull off the oxygen mask. 'You keep that on,' I warned. But he continued to struggle with it; I sighed and helped him take it off. He fell back on the pillows, breathing slightly faster. 'Okay?'

'Yeah,' Newbie replied hoarsely. He cleared his throat, and when he next spoke his voice was stronger. 'Are we at Sacred Heart?'

'As luck would have it. Your gal pals are practically swooning with anxiety over you. We've only been here a few hours.'

'Oh…' Newbie reached up to rub his forehead. 'What happened? I don't…it's kind of blurry…'

'What do you remember?'

'I remember falling asleep, and then my chest was really sore and I couldn't stop coughing, and I was so cold. I had all these weird dreams…half the time I couldn't tell what was real. I thought I saw Turk, and Elliot…and I kept thinking I was talking to you, but I don't think most of that was real, because you kept going on about some patient. And it felt like someone was hugging me, but that was probably because I couldn't breathe and my chest felt too tight. ' Newbie's eyes flashed up to my face. 'You…took care of me, didn't you?' he said cautiously.

Oh God, how much did he remember? Please tell me that he had figured that the whole hugging thing was a hallucination. Please tell me he didn't remember me cradling him in my lap all night. I'd strike any kind of deal with God if it meant he didn't remember that. But Newbie wasn't saying anything else, just watching me with those disconcerting blue eyes. I had to tread carefully. 'Yeah, Newb. I took care of ya.' That would do. I moved on hurriedly. 'Well, there isn't a lot to tell. This morning the snowstorm had cleared and there was reception on my cell phone. I called an ambulance. You were hardly conscious so I brought you up to the highway and we waited there. Anyway, you have mild pneumonia.'

'Pneumonia?' Newbie's voice shot up and he coughed hard several times. When he was done he said, 'Wow. I mean, I guess I kind of knew it was something like that, but I never admitted it to myself. It's just…when we were in the car and we had no way out…actually knowing that I had something like pneumonia was too scary, or something. Like if I didn't admit it to myself, it was okay. I don't know.'

'I know what you mean.' I had felt exactly the same way.

'Anyway…pneumonia. Wow. Are you okay?'

'I'm fine, apart from slightly raised blood pressure from you coughing at me all night long.'

'Sorry.'

'Wasn't your fault, Newbie. Actually, according to Carla, it's my fault. She says you wouldn't be in this state right now if I had only let you keep your bobble hat.'

'Oh, yeah. Well, who knows?' He grinned.

'Vanilla Bear! Vanilla Bear's awake! JD!' The door banged open behind me and Gandhi bounded into the room. 'JD! JD, man, I was so worried!' He reached for Newbie and yanked him into a hug, ignoring Newbie's gasp for breath. The beeping on the heart monitor accelerated slightly. Gandhi squeezed Newbie against him. 'How the hell could you do that to me?'

'Can't breathe, Turk!' Newbie choked.

Gandhi released him, but only after planting a kiss on Newbie's dark head.

'Ugh,' I said in disgust. 'Would you girls mind getting a room?'

'We have a room,' Newbie pointed out, lying slightly breathless against the pillows, but smiling nonetheless.

'JD, you okay? How d'you feel? I gotta tell Carla and Elliot that you're awake! Where's my pager? Crap I must have left it… Stay right there!' He rushed off.

'I'm not going anywhere…'

'I, however, am,' I said, getting to my feet. 'I'll leave you in peace to be hugged and cuddled to your heart's content, yet leaving you to forever yearn after the hug from the guy who reminds you of your mother's mean boyfriends, while I continue to abuse you and call you girls' names and wonder if that stuff ever sticks. Alice.'

'Nah.' Newbie shrugged, and then gave me a look that I couldn't quite read. 'Only the good stuff sticks.'

'Dammit...'

'Hey…I forgot to say…thanks. For…yeah. Thanks.'

'You're welcome, Newbie. Now get some rest.'

I turned to go; but just as I reached the door, Newbie called from behind me, 'I always knew I'd get that hug.'

I stopped, took a deep breath, and slowly turned back to Newbie. He was grinning. My eyes narrowed.

'If you ever tell anyone,' I said, 'I will brain you.'

He stuck his hand out in a thumbs-up. 'Got it.' He hesitated. 'See you tomorrow?'

I looked at him, lying there in a hospital bed and hooked up to various drips and monitors. I'd never thought that I would see Newbie, who was always so cheerful and goddamn annoying, in this sort of state. I'd seen him at his most helpless and his most vulnerable. I'd looked directly into a future without JD and it had been as bleak and devastating as the snowstorm, and I never wanted to see that future again. I knew that now I'd be saddled with him for the rest of my life. And, though my blood pressure was certain to go through the roof, I somehow didn't mind.

'You bet, Newbie.'

END.