Skulduggery Pleasant ~ 3
Erm this is my first story so rate me but don't hate me.(I mean review but that doesn't rhyme with hate)
Everyone is probably OOC.
There WILL be romance involved somewhere in the story.
And no, I won't say who, but let's just say, things are not as they first seem...
And this is set after Dark Days.
Disclaimer: I do not own SP. Unfortunately.
Love,
iHeartGreenDay212
xxx
...
The vampire came out of nowhere.
"Valkyrie, MOVE!" shouted Skulduggery.
Valkyrie looked up just in time to see Dusk fly at her.
She cursed and ducked and he went over her, but one of his talons tore across her scalp.
The pain was blinding,and the hot blood was running down her face.
Everything started to go black.
The last thing she saw was Skulduggery kicking Dusk in the face.
...
"Valkyrie? Are you ok?" she heard Kenspeckle say.
Her eyelids flickered and opened.
Skulduggery breathed out a sigh of relief.
Kenspeckle turned to him and glared.
"You see what I mean? When you brought her here, she was a few minutes short of dying. And yet AGAIN, it's your fault. This might be it, you know. Look, her eyes are all blank and empty!"
"My eyes aren't blank and empty," retorted Valkyrie. "They're gorgeous and full of wisdom."
Kenspeckle sighed. Don't be impertinent," he said, wagging his finger at her.
She raised her eyebrows.
"Do I have to lie here and be wagged at? I've got other things to do, like to go kick the crap out of Dusk," she said, sitting up.
Kenspeckle rushed her.
"You're not to move for at least three hours or so. Oh and..." he trailed off, patting the numerous pockets on his doctor's coat, "You need to put this gel on the cut to reduce scarring."
Valkyrie frowned.
"How will I do that? Won't it get stuck in my hai-" she broke off, seeing the expression on Kenspeckle's face. "What?"
Realisation swept over her.
"You didn't..." she said, putting her hand to her head.
There wasn't a single hair there.
"YOU DID!" she screeched, lunging at Kenspeckle. "You BASTARD!"
"Language," said Skulduggery casually.
She proceeded to try to choke him with the string around his neck.
He groped for something at the end of the string, and threw seawater into her face.
Valkyrie screamed as a stinging pain came across her eyes. She let go of his neck, stumbled backwards and fell onto her backside, trying to get the salty water out of her eyes.
"Knew that'd come in handy someday," said Kenpeckle, trying to look nonchalant as he straightened his coat.
Valkyrie spat out some of the salt water. "That," she panted "was uncalled for,"
"Oh," retorted Kenspeckle. "YOU attack ME and that was uncalled for?"
"My attack was very called for! YOU SHAVED MY HEAD," shouted Valkyrie.
"Do you think I'm stupid? I have a way to grow your hair back within minutes!" kenspeckle shot back at her.
"Oh," was all she could say.
He turned on Skulduggery. "And as for you, Mister Funnybones, you COULD have helped,"
"Well, I could have helped, but salt water in my face wouldn't have stopped me choking you," replied Skulduggery calmly.
Kenspeckle scowled and Valkyrie smirked.
"Anyway, you should go get changed," Skulduggery spoke to Valkyrie.
The look on Kenspeckle's face made Valkyrie burst into laughter.
"Really. I'm fine."
She went to get changed.
When she came out of the bathroom, - fully kitted out in her specially made clothes - that had saved her life on more than one occasion - she beckoned to Skulduggery.
"Are you coming or not?"
"Well, of course I'm coming, but aren't you forgetting something?" he asked her.
"Like what?"\line He gestured to his head, indicating her shiny bald head.
"Oh yeah!" She turned on the puppydog eyes and looked at Kenspeckle.
His eyebrows kneaded together. He couldn't resist Val's puppy eyes.
He grunted. "Fine."
"Thanks!" she said cheerily, but leaned closer and lowered her voice and said "Really, Kenspeckle. Thanks. And I'm sorry for trying to choke you."
"Don't mention it," he replied. "Good God, but if I live another six hundred years I will never understand the pride of a female."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Never mind, let's go. If we get onto the subject of Kenspeckle's nonexistent love life, we will never leave."
Kenspeckle narrowed his eyes.
"I CHOOSE to be a loner, unlike YOU, skeleton," he positively growled.
"Seriously, though. I'd love to stay and make you all crack up laughing with my hilarious snippets of wit, but my partner and I must take our leave."
...
The people on O'Connell's street turned and stared at the Bentley R-Type Continental as it made its way down the road.(it's not exactly a commonly found car)
All but two of them were oblivious to the people inside.
"Fergus! Look, it's that Skulduggery person again in his fancy-arse car!"
The small man turned his greedy eyes on the Bentley, which was stuck in traffic.
He peered at it. "Are you sure?"
"Of course! Who else would wear that overcoat?"
"True that. Wait! Is - is that Stephanie in the passenger seat?"
"I dunno,it could be. Oh, is it? It is!" Beryl was screeching and jumping up and down outside McDonald's on O'Connell's street.
A woman in a peanut suit stopped dancing and tutted. "Weirdos." (reference to Desmond Edgley's ex-seceretary)
People stared. Beryl didn't care.
"Ha! She called us liars! Fergus, give me your phone!"
He practically threw his Blackberry at her.
"YES! We have a picture!"
At this point even the soundproof windows of the Bentley had let some of her joyous rant through.
Valkyrie looked out the window and frowned. "Some weirdo is screaming and bouncing up and down in the middle of the street," she said.
"That looks an awful lot like Beryl," commented Skulduggery.
"Really? I don't see the resemblence at - oh, hell. It's her."
"Is that a phone?"
"It... DAMN!"
She bent over, shoving her face between her knees.
"STEP ON IT!"
As luck would have it, the traffic lightened and Skulduggery did, indeed, step on it.
...
As the notorious crime-solving skeleton and his partner and student parked on Cemetery Road, Valkyrie pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"Texting your mother to tell her you're staying at Hannah Foley's again? I swear, you have used that poor girl as an excuse so many times that someday your mother will start talking to her mother in Tescos or something and it will be bye, bye detective-ing."
Valkyrie scowled and stopped texting. "I hate it when you're right."
"Oh, I know." Skulduggery did an imaginary hair flip.
"...What was that? Did you just... pretend to flip your hair?"
"I did. Oh, how I miss hair. I wish you had have stayed bald so that we could be us baldies, together."
Her eyebrows furrowed, but her heart beat faster when he said "together".
"Like I would keep a head so shiny that you could see your reflection in it," she said defiantly.
"Exactly my point. I could have constantly checked that I didn't have spinach in my teeth, because, that would be bad. Considering how my teeth are so much more visible than yours."
"Okay, one: You would never have spinach in your teeth. You do not eat. Two: Your teeth are covered by a scarf almost all of the time. And three: Be honest, you just love your reflection."
"Children these days. Always talking back to you," said Skulduggery airily.
Valkyrie gave him a death glare. "I am sixteen years old. Not. A. Child."
"True. Onto other things, I didn't know Kenspeckle still carried that salt water."
"I know. He probably thinks he can, I dunno, inject it or something."
His teeth parted, obviously about to say something, when Brick By Boring Brick started to play.
"Oops. Gotta take this," she said quickly, grabbing the distraction.
She unlocked her Samsung Diva and Melissa Edgley's voice blared from the phone so suddenly that Valkyrie nearly dropped it.
She reluctantly put the phone to her ear, wincing at the volume.
"What? Beryl showed you a picture of me? I- what cult? I- I'll be right over."
"Looks like Beryl actually knows how to use a cameraphone."
"It does look like that."
"We'd better go."
"We'd better."
...
I hope you enjoyed!
Please review!
I will update ASAHP
Love,
iHeartGreenDay212
xxx