Hermione's love life is terribly horrific and seems to be getting worse.

Draco's love life is equally terribly horrific, although he is not short on female attention it is superficial.

They both despise each other, but are constantly thrown together by their mutual friends; what follows is a whole lot of amusement.

Chapter One:

Hermione's POV.

I am Hermione Granger. Some may call me the brightest witch of her age, others may call me a hero of war, I'm certain a few would call me a stuck-up cow (I'm looking at you Lav Lav'), but I much prefer to call myself: Hermione Granger, the failure.

You see, although it may seem that I have the perfect life; a great job at the ministry (department of mysteries), plenty of money, a gorgeous house and the most adorable puppy named Roy, it's not all as it seems.

1) I am a failure when it comes to love, by the end of the war it was assumed that Ron and I would get the perfect fairy tale ending, we did not. Our lack of compatibility meant that our relationship fizzled out almost immediately, pretty much before it even began. It also didn't help that he accidently knocked up Lavender Brown not two minutes before we broke up. This means that not only is one of best friends married, but the other one is on the way to becoming a parent, all before me!

2) My work is constricting, I love it endlessly, but working in a department where you cannot discuss what's going on with your friends or family is not only tiring, but alienating. I sometimes feel very out of the loop with my friends, which takes me back to my early Hogwarts days, not an experience I would have liked to be going through in my late 20's.

3) The whole of the wizarding world, and I'd say at least half of the muggle world, has had the pleasure to be witnesses to the most shameful moments of my life. For example, two days ago I was on a very respectable date in Diagon Ally when I decided to be a bit rebellious and take my date for a quick fumble in the back room of the restaurant. Not my wisest move I'll admit, but you see Harry and Daphne have reportedly done this may times throughout the years, so I couldn't really see the harm. That is until I got tangled up in my green lace underwear and fell through the back door onto the pavement. Not only was I photographed wearing nothing but a tight green dress, flashing a bit more than I'd say was appropriate from my unflattering position on the floor, but my lacy underwear was retrieved by none other than Draco Malfoy (one of the only people I truly despise on the planet by the way), who witnessed the whole shameful experience!

So, you see my life isn't as grand and delightful as everybody would want to believe, and it's about to get a whole lot worse as I must attend a dinner party at Harry's, Malfoy is also attending, and I bet he's itching to discuss my shame.

But at least maybe I can get my favourite knickers back.

Draco's POV:

I am Draco Malfoy, reformed death eater, eligible bachelor and workaholic. My life isn't perfect, never has been, but I'm working on that. You see after my families fall from grace during the war I have been persistent in my attempts to re-earn some respect from the rest of the wizarding world, I mainly try to do this through my work. Although I am considered one of the richest men alive, I have not touched a penny from my family vault since the war, and instead I have worked hard every day to deserve the money I have. Of course, this just makes me even richer, which attracts a lot of female attention if you know what I mean.

Obviously, I enjoy the attention, who wouldn't? I mean, it doesn't help that my extremely good looks and witty charm fuel the attention, but it's all fake. Superficial. I could never expect these women to love me, or love them in return, instead it's just a quick and convenient bang, a way to relieve stress. But all my close friends are moving on without me, Daphne is happily married and cooped up with Potter, I'm happy for them, I really am, but the PDA is sickening. And Blaise, the one person I was sure I'd beat in the race for a real relationship, is shagging Ginny Weasley in secret (so they think) and is very much infatuated with her, whether he wants to admit it or not. And that leaves me, alone with my work and string of meaningless hook-ups.

I'm not saying I want marriage, or kids, or even a long-term relationship any time soon, I just want someone to like me for me, rather than my money or last name. I want someone I could take to the 'couples' dinner party that Daphne throws, like the one I must attend tomorrow, and laugh with about how obvious Blaise and red are, how horrible they are at hiding their relationship. I want to joke about how sickeningly in love Daph and Potter are, how stupid Weasley is. I just want to have fun. Instead I'll have sit at the table, hating my life, wondering when I can go home.

It's not that I don't enjoy the company of my friends, I really do, being part of such a close-knit group of friends is more than I could have ever hoped for, I just feel left out. At least Grangers always there, it is too much fun to watch her squirm when I mention her latest fail reported on the front page of the profit. I can't wait to see how red her face will go when I hand her these lacy green (Slytherin green might I add) knickers tomorrow