Dis: Nothing belongs to me. It is Miss. J.K.'s and the song is Nickelback's Savin' Me
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
He walked thru the dungeons with no purpose whatsoever. Being a prefect, he didn't need one. And it was always at the midnight hour that he chose to wander. People thought that he was looking for stupid Gryffindor's or unsuspecting Hufflepuffs. But in fact he was escaping from his own house.
He could no longer sit there and listen to the other children of Death Eaters bragging about what their fathers had done on the last raid. They only knew what they had been told. Oh, the gloriousness of killing mudbloods. Proving that pureblood wizards were superior beings. He thought sarcastically. They have no idea. No idea at all. Mindless automatons.
His father had taken him on a raid over the summer. Oh there had been killing, but there had been more. And the thought of what he had seen still turned his stomach. He had watched his mudblood hating father rape and torture a muggleborn witch in front of her husband and children. As he did, he looked over to his son and said, "See son. This is all they are good for. Satisfying our baser needs and then putting them out of our misery."
He had never been so disgusted in his entire life. This, this was what the Dark Lord called being superior? Raping innocent women in front of even more innocent children? It was too much. He had always believed his own version of his father's views on mud. . .muggleborns. They should not be allowed at Hogwarts, but should be taught at another school. They could be removed from their homes at birth and placed with wizarding families, should their families not want anything to do with them. That way, they were brought up knowing the wizarding world and no other. This way, their muggle culture would not invade the magical culture.
He once expressed this view to his father, who then beat him. It was a hard lesson to learn. From then on he kept his thoughts to himself. Even now, knowing what he did, he couldn't speak out. He just wasn't ready to die a traitor's death. There was no one he could talk to about this. Not even his godfather. Although he had his suspicions, he wasn't sure which side Snape was really on.
Of course, that wasn't true. There was one person he could talk to. But getting him to listen long enough to act civil would be difficult. But the more he thought about it, the more he was determined to. He couldn't live like this anymore. He felt trapped within the confines of his own mind some days. Screaming for someone to listen and let him out. Screaming for someone to help him before he was lost in the downward spiral that was his existence.
Tonight was the night. He knew that Potter would be out. Potter frequently was. He had been one of the many witnesses to the Golden Trio's spectacular split last week. The Weasel had finally taken it too far with his petty jealousy of Potter. Potter exploded and Granger had agreed with him. Now the red head was a outcast among the lion house. It seemed that the lost friendship and the pressure of a Dark Lord hunting him, had finally driven Potter to sleepless nights.
Every night for a week, Potter had wandered the castle. Every night Potter had walked to the dungeons. Every night he had had numerous chances to give the raven haired boy detention and take points. But he couldn't find it in himself to do it. And he no longer wondered why.
He knew. Potter was his one chance at salvation and freedom. And he couldn't risk alienating him anymore than his petty childishness and fraternal emulating ways, already had. The trouble was how to get him to talk and believe in him.
But it had to be done. And if it took falling to his knees, offering his wand and an unbreakable vow, than that was exactly what he would do. He just hoped that Potter would listen first and hex later.
With a new determination, he walked towards the lower dungeon, where Potter always seemed to gravitate. His life might be locked in the continuous cycle of being Daddy's little Junior Death Eater, but his soul. . . his soul would be free. Even if it meant giving it to Potter, it would be better than having it marked by the devil.
He found the room that Potter most often came to. It hadn't been used in years. But now it was filled with a resonance. The resonance of Potter's magic. He was a little shocked at the power Potter had. It was certainly more than his own. More than his fathers. Perhaps even more than the Dark Lords. With even more certainty on his part, he vowed to prove to Potter that he was trustworthy and no longer a willing follower of the Dark Lord.
He didn't need to wait long. Within minutes of his arrival, Potter walked thru the door. Or rather, the door opened and closed. Then Potter removed his cloak. He had always been a little jealous of that cloak. Had plotted to steal it once, but after overhearing the Weasel and Granger mention that it had belonged to James Potter, well he just seemed to forget about his plan.
He stayed cloaked in the shadow as he worked up the courage to approach the other boy. He took appraisal of his once nemesis, as he did. Potter had changed since the end of sixth year. He had grown at least 6 inches, standing at 6'1". Gained some much need weight, that quickly turned to muscle after half a year of Quidditch. His hair was long enough to hold back in a clip. The clip itself was a mystery. It was a pewter snake with onyx eyes. And his eyes, seemed to be a lighter shade of green than before. But that only added to his more mature stature, especially now that he had finally had his eyes fixed and no longer need those oversized glasses. In short, Potter had become what a true hero should be. Powerful and captivating.
Potter seemed to look around the room intensely. Then he sat on a cushy chair he conjured. What happened next, changed his world forever.
"Come out Draco."
Draco's eyes went wide as he slowly walked from the shadowed corner. He walked over to where Potter sat and as he did another chair was conjured.
"Have a seat, please."
Draco sat.
"I know you have been following me. Every night this week. Yet, you have not called me on it. Not once given detention or taken points. And I know you came here purposefully tonight. What I want to know is. . . why?"
Draco paled at that. Potter knew? Why had he not done anything? From the power resonance alone, Draco knew that Potter could have bested him anytime. But he realized that his questions must wait. He had one chance now. And he needed to make sure Potter understood everything. So he did the only thing he could do.
He dropped to his knees and bowed his head. His right hand offered up his wand. He started to speak and as he did, he kept his gaze on the floor. If he looked up and saw any trace of hatred or disbelief in those eyes, he would lose his nerve and walk away.
"I am trapped in my own mind. I can not live like this anymore. My soul is trapped in the prison that is my life. I have seen things that would cause the most hardened of warriors to weaken. The things that are done in the name of the Dark Lord would be considered sacrilege by the Darkest of creatures. I am living in a prison of my father's making that I unwisely entered as a child. I am terrified of the walls that keep me prisoner. For if I try to break them, I will be killed. I need you. I need you to believe me. I need you to free me and I need for you to save me."
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Draco held his breath. Potter had not said a word once he started to speak and had not said anything for the past few minutes. It was obvious that Potter either didn't believe him or he was preparing himself to reject Draco outright. Draco wasn't sure what he would do if either of those scenarios were presented to him. He had not really thought about Potter not believing him. He had been too obsessed with just getting his chance to speak at all. He had not planned for anything after that.
At long last he chanced a look at Potter. What he saw was the younger man sitting with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face. Puzzled, Draco opened his mouth to ask what the other was thinking. But as if by divine intervention, Potter opened his eye and caught Draco's gaze. It was unlike anything either had experienced before. Silver eyes filled with fear, hope and desperation met with jade colored eyes filled with promise, determination and hope.
Draco was shocked to see nothing negative reflected back at him in those eyes. It was almost as if Potter had been waiting for this moment. What is going on?, Draco wondered.
At long last Potter spoke.
"I wish I could tell you how long I have waited to hear those words fall from your lips, Draco. I wish I could tell you how long I have wanted and waited for you to come to me. I almost gave up on you, you know. Others were telling me too. He'll never change. He'll never see the truth. They all said it. But I just couldn't give up on you."
Draco was speechless.
"I don't understand."
Potter laughed.
"I know you don't. But I will explain everything to you now."
Draco nodded.
"May I sit?"
"I'm so sorry. Of course, Draco. Please take your seat again. Shall I ask the elves for something to eat. I didn't eat supper. I noticed that you didn't either."
Again Draco could do nothing but nod as Potter called for an elf. When one appeared he told it what they would like and Draco was surprised that Potter knew his favorites. His questioning look was noticed and Potter blushed a little.
" I have been keeping an eye on you, I am embarrassed to admit. Not embarrassed because of the subject but because of the intensity and the frequency."
Draco simply shook his head.
"I can't believe I didn't notice. The amount of time I have been watching you, you'd think that it would have been obvious to me at least a little. Perhaps I am slipping."
Potter's gaze widen at the confession.
"Well than, we are even because it was not until I started coming down to the dungeons that I noticed you taking an interest in me."
Draco smiled at that. The elf returned then and they ate in a comfortable silence. Both stole furtive glances at each other. And the times when their gazes met, they both turned away quickly. After they finished, Potter summoned the elf again and all trace of their impromptu supper were removed. Draco turned to Potter with expectant eyes and rewarded with a blinding smile and a nod.
"At the end of fifth year, after my godfather was killed, I changed. I became reclusive and withdrawn. I was sent to my relatives and had to be rescued just 2 weeks later. I won't go into details but sufficed to say, I was beaten and half dead. I was rescued by the last person on earth that I expected. Your godfather, who has hated me since I stepped foot in the magical world, was my hero. I do not say that lightly. If he had not come to check on me, I would not be here. He still won't tell me what drove him to check on me, especially after the pensieve incident early that year. But whatever it was, I thank Merlin everyday. At the time though, I wanted nothing more than to die. And I was quite upset with him for saving me. But after spending the summer with him, training in Occlumency and Legilimency, Potions and Dark Arts, I changed my mind. I gave him a formal wizarding apology, which I am pleased to say, shocked him speechless. He accepted and as for the request that he was entitled to it was simple. Save you."
Draco looked at him with wide eyes. So his godfather really was on the light side. And he had used his request to have Potter save him. That was the most shocking. A formal wizarding apology, when accepted, entitled the wronged party to a single request of the guilty party. Snape could have asked for anything. All of Potter's wealth, his future first born child, even his life if so requested. That Snape had asked for Potter to save him. . .he would never be able to repay his godfather this gift. But he would try. By submitting to Potter's will and doing everything in his power to bring down the self proclaimed Dark Lord.
"I was as shocked as you were. I am ashamed to admit that I tried to changed his mind at first. Told him that you would never change and if you did you would never accept my help. It took a few days but he showed me things about you that made me see more clearly. I can see the look of panic in your eyes, Draco. Don't worry, it was nothing too personal. Just conversations that you had that caused him to question your true feelings. Don't worry. No one else could have seen past your mask but him. He is after all the best spy we have. He is trained to notice these things. Once I realized that what he said was true, I started my plans. I vowed to offer a non verbal truce with you. I tried to project to you an offer of peaceful co-existence. It must have worked because even Weasley, who is as dense as London fog, caught on to the fact that we weren't at each other's throats. Much to his dismay. That is the main reason we are no longer friends. Hmm, you have changed haven't you. I can see the dismay in your eyes that it was partly your fault. It was not. This has been a long time coming. The fact that I would not prank or curse you was the final straw. And that Hermione agreed with me over him. It is for the best and I can say that I really don't miss him. Now, I need to hear from you what has caused this final act of defection from your father's side."
Draco took a deep breath and told Potter of his summer. The beatings, the groveling to the Dark Lord, the raid his father forced him to go on, everything. He left out no detail so that Potter might see his desperation of needing to escape. Tears fell form his eyes as he told of his mother's attempts to help him only to endure punishments from his father. His father would treat his mother as a raid victim, forcing Draco to watch, to learn in his words, what was expected of him. The fact that he could do nothing and the fact that his mother accepted and forgave him this was too much for the blonds conscience.
Potter sat and listened to the story, to the confession. Draco wondered if the guilt he felt could be heard in his voice. The obvious answer was yes, as Potter knelt down by his side and placed his hand on Draco's knee.
"Let it out, Draco. It will help. Trust me. You are talking to the king of self recrimination and guilt. You are not at fault. This is Voldemort's doing. Your father's doing. Not yours."
Although Draco found it difficult, he listened to Potter. He knew that had he tried to help his mother, he would be dead. He simply was not strong enough to help her. At least not yet.
"Potter. . .Harry. I need you to show me. Show me how to stand on my own. Show me how to be brave. Teach me how to stand by your side. I am ready to leave my old life behind. Ready to be shown right from wrong."
He got down on his knee again as he prepared to make the vow. Potter's eyes shot open at what he was about to do.
"No Draco. Stand up. I am not your new Lord nor do I wish to be. I will give you whatever help you ask for. Everyone will but I will not have you kneel to me or pledge anything to me."
Draco did not rise. He shook his head and stared at the man who was still kneeling beside him.
"I know you do not ask for this Harry. But I give it freely. I am leaving everything else behind. Please let me give you something in return. And as this is all I have, please accept."
He knew that Harry was still unsure but would allow this because that was who he was. So when Harry nodded, he drew his wand and held it handle towards Harry.
"Harry James Potter. You are giving me a chance to redeem myself and for that I can never repay you. But I offer my oath, my wand and my life into your service. May I be a shield when you need. May I be a weapon when you need. May I be the well of strength that you draw on when all else is lost. Accept my pledge and life into your service til you see fit to release me. So mote it be."
"So mote it be."
Draco was proud of the way his voice had not wavered and remained strong. When Harry took hold of hiswand handle and accepted the pledge, they were both bathed in each other's magic. Draco's swirled green, silver and black. Harry's swirled green, gold and white. It entwined itself so tightly, that you could hardly tell that it had been two separate entities. Then it settled itself over the two and sank into their bodies, binding them forcefully.
Draco was shaken. That was not suppose to happen. And he wondered exactly what Harry and he had done. But looking at Harry, he saw the other teen was equally as shocked.
"Well, as usual Potter, you can not do anything normal or ordinary."
Both young men started at the sound of the Potions Master. Neither had been aware of him until he spoke.
"What happened Severus? Why did that happen?"
It was Harry that spoke as Draco was still frozen on the floor. He thought he recognized the meaning but it had to be wrong. It couldn't be. They were but legends.
"What you just witnessed Harry was one half of a soul accepting a bond from the other half. While soul mates are rare in this world, it is even rarer to come across spiritalis absum. Absent or missing spirit or soul. It means that you were each born with a half of a soul. You were always meant to find one another. Always meant to be together. It does not mean you have to be in a physical relationship, although any spiritalis absum that I have ever heard or read about with few exception, have been. Being close to each may be enough."
Both wizards were beyond words. What they had experienced was amazing but was it enough to just be friends. A long history of maliciousness and dislike was hard to forget. But perhaps in the beginning that was the only way they could stay in contact after Harry had turned down Draco's hand in friendship.
Draco could feel Harry's guilt at that.
"No Harry. Do not feel guilty. I was a right proper git. I would have turned me down too."
"But where would we be now if I had of taken your hand. We could have saved ourselves years of torment. Maybe I could have saved you from your father earlier."
Draco saw the pain Harry felt at that.
"Harry. Stop. It could easily have gone the other way. What if I had swayed you? My father is persuasive. What if he did something to turn you? Where would we be now had you had access to his evil and been granted access to the Dark Lord. You are powerful enough to be his equal at least, or likely more. Imagine ruling with him. The world would be lost for sure."
Harry looked a little shocked at that thought but reasoned it could be true. Any affection or attention from the other side, no matter had it been false, and he may have been turned.
"Okay Draco. You're right. But now what do we do?"
But it was Snape that answered.
"Now gentlemen, I will retrieve the other's and meet you in the Headmaster's office in an hour. I shall very much enjoy having Harry prove him wrong."
He left as Draco and Harry sat back in their chairs to digest what just happened and what it could mean now.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Draco sat in the chair, trying to comprehend everything that had happened in the last hour. Harry had known all along that he was being followed by Draco. He had not only sat and listened to Draco but had accepted him and received his pledge. And now to find out that they were spiritalis absum. It was almost too much to take in.
Draco sat in the chair, trying to comprehend everything that had happened in the last hour. Harry had known all along that he was being followed by Draco. He had not only sat and listened to Draco but had accepted him and received his pledge. And now to find out that they were It was almost too much to take in.He had begun the night thinking that Harry would not even listen to him. His whole perception of his world had changed. Turned upside down in fact. The fact that nothing was as it seemed started to catch up with him. He felt like a bird on the highest tower, about to jump without realizing his wings were broken beyond repair.
It had been drilled into his head that he was a pureblood and by right, superior. But he knew no, as he had for years, that this was not true. It had been drilled into his head, that Dumbledore, the Light and Harry Potter were the enemy. But he now knew this to be false as well.
Thedawning of this revelation was daunting to say the least. Nothing that had been solid in his life was stable now. But his worst fears were hiding behind his newfound truce with Harry.
Harry had often said that his friends were his strength. That now included Draco in a way that was fated. But what if the others did not trust him. What if they opposed him? Would Harry remember his vow of friendship? Or would Harry bend to his friends will and turn on Draco? Would it be that first day all over again. Harry again turning down Draco's extended hand. The mere thought of it was enough to send shivers down his back.
Harry must have noticed his quiet demeanor and trouble look. He sat on the floor in front of Draco, laying his head on the other's knee.
"Oh Draco. Please don't worry about the others. You have Severus and mine trust and backing. Nothing they do can hurt you and nothing they say will cause any mistrust towards you. Did you not hear? You are the missing half of my soul. I can not be whole without you. Which means I can not defeat Voldemort without you. You are the power he knows not. You will be the reason I succeed. If they can not accept you, than they do not matter to me."
Draco looked down at the green eyed beauty kneeling in front of him. He could literally feel the waves of trust and compassion rolling off Harry towards him. He nodded his head to let Harry know he heard and accepted what had been said.
It was a strange feeling. Relying on someone who yesterday had been a potential enemy. But it was a comforting feeling. Yes, he had done the right thing by joining Harry. He supposed that it would have happened eventually and he was glad it was on their terms, rather than subject to the bond's will.
Harry shifted so he was kneeling in the space between Draco's legs. He looked up at Draco with something strange in his eyes. It was neither friendship nor malice. It looked very much like lust. And it took Draco's breath away.
"Harry. . ."
"I think that this bond between us is controlling me, Draco. I can not control it. I need you. I need to be with you. And we need to complete it tonight. I do not know why but it has to be done. If you are not ready for this, you must leave know and locked the door as you leave."
Draco lost himself in the jade eyes of Harry Potter. He could feel the pull of magic as well. And he wouldn't have stopped it for anything in the world.
"Harry. I have no intention of stopping you. I meant it when I said I would give you all that I had. This may be sudden but I will not regret it in the morning. And I hope you will not either. The bond is practically screaming in my mind and it feels like I am falling. But I know that you are meant to be there to catch me."
Draco watched Harry smile at that. He nodded his head and Draco knelt on the floor beside him, as he conjured a bed from the chairs. Taking Draco's hand he rose up and lead the blond to the bed.
"Relax, my Dragon and let me teach you how to love again. Let me show you that no matter the time or place, I will always catch you."
"And I will always be your shield and your strength, mei angelus."
Hurry I'm fallin'
All I need is you Hurry I'm fallin'
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
"Is it done then Severus? Have they finally figured out what we have all known for years?"
"Yes Headmaster. They now know. And I believe that it need not be a physical bond. I believe friendship may be sufficient for them."
"Are you so sure, Severus?"
"Yes Albus. Why? Do you not trust me to tell you the truth?"
"Of course I do Severus. I was only inquiring."
"Well, I told them I was fetching you and the others. They will join us momentarily."
". ."
". ."
"What exactly was that, Albus?"
"That my dear Severus was a. . .physical bond being completed. But don't worry my boy. It is not often you are wrong."
"My God Harry. What was that?"
"That my Dragon, was me saving you."