Diary of the heart
Chapter 1
I'm sitting in my room at the orphanage thinking, 'My life officially and utterly sucks!' I've been stuck here for almost a full year now. And just 11 months ago, it was me, mom, my older sister Kikyo, and my younger brother Souta. I'm still trying to figure out how the heck I ended up here in this dump. I mean we were never rich, that much is certain. But we weren't poor. The only thing that had landed me here was Higurashi Shigure, my dearly, beloved father. I loath him for doing this to us.
I look at the clock on my night stand. 7 AM. Funny, normally I get up at about 9:00, but I had that dream again. The one where I see her dead. I jump as ther's knock at my door. "Kagome can i come in?" It's just Kikyo. I don't respond; how can I? I'm mute. She opens
the door a crack. "Can I come in?" she asks again. I nod my head.
"I got you something," she tells me. I blink and she chuckles. "Did you forget…?" I raise my brow at this question. "I guess you did. Kagome-chan, it's your birthday!"
My eyes widen, and I slap myself in the head. I can't believe I forgot! I'm so dense at times. I look back up at my sister and give her a sheepish little smile. Kikyo shakes her head and gives me a plastic bag. "I'm sorry; I would've wrapped it but…" I smile and shake my head. It's the thought that counts, anyway.
I took the bag and dug my hand into it. I pull out a diary. It wasn't anything fancy but I've always wanted one. I jump at Kikyo and hug her. She hugs me back and apologizes for how bad our life is. I shook my head. It was my way of saying, "It's not that bad, and besides, it'll get better!"
Kikyo starts shaking and I hear sobs coming from her. She tries hard, both Souta and I knew it, and we knew she deserved better. She is extremely smart, pretty, and kind hearted. Yes, she deserved so much better, but when ever someone wanted to adopt her she would always say, "I won't go unless my sister and my brother come too."
I'm her identical twin sister, so I guess I'm pretty; I don't really think about it. But she has an unusual elegance about her. She can talk to other people so easily, and she's extremely well educated. Me? I'm mute and I don't feel comfortable being around other people; I'm an average B student and I have no class what-so-ever. My brother's kind of in the middle. He's sociable, but average. But he has way more of a chance than I do to have a normal life.
I hold my sister comfortingly as she sobs into my shoulder. After a moment, she stops crying and falls asleep on my shoulder. I smile lightly and put her down on the bed. I get up and go to get a pen. Can't find one. Darn. When I come back into my room, there's my little brother Souta with a smile on his face as he watches our older sister. I walk over to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. He looks up at me, smiles, and hugs me telling me, "Happy birthday, nee-chan!" I hug him back in a way to say "Thanks, Souta-chan!"
"Look at what I got you!" he says brandishing a beautiful, multi-colored pen. My eyes brighten considerably. He noticed this and got a huge grin on his face. "Me and Kikyo-onee-sama planned it! She got the diary and I got the pen!"
Both my siblings had a way of reading my mind; then again, I had a way of reading theirs too. Like one time, during school, before we all landed in the dump, I somehow knew that Souta was being hurt. I had to excuse myself (which isn't easy when you're mute) and I rushed over to Souta's school, and sure enough, he was out behind the school being picked on by a bunch of junior high students. I ran over to where they were, beat up the punks hurting him, and took him home. I got chewed out later, and he stood up for me, telling mom what had happened. I got let off with a warning.
I bent down to hug Souta with watery eyes. I loved them; they were my world, and I knew that I was part of theirs as well. I held him for what I wanted to be forever. But he tapped my shoulder saying, "Uh, nee-chan…? You can let go now…"
I let go, still smiling. I ruffled his hair and sat down to write, as he fell asleep beside Kikyo. I decided to write in green. I picked the green lever, pushed it down, and opened my new diary. I sat there for a second, thinking about what to say in my diary. 'Come on girl! It isn't an f'ing story! Just write about what I want to write about!' I took a deep breath and began to write.
Dear diary,
Hello! I'm Higurashi Kagome! In a brief some up of my life- I'm 18, I have the two best siblings ever, the rest of my family are gone, but not forgotten (some more lovingly remembered than others), I have black hair, brown eyes, I'm a c-cup, I hate my life, and I live in an orphanage. My favorite color is green (which is why I'm writing in green ink), and if my brother and sister hadn't gotten you, I probably would have gone emo. Lol.
But that's just a brief description of my life. I used to go to Fuji high school, but I was pulled out in my freshman year. But that's not the bad part (it's actually the best part. I was kind of flunking my classes. Except Liturature. I've always been good at literature.) The bad part was that had mom had died and we were left in a huge amount of debt. But it wasn't her fault. It was dad's. He used to gamble a lot and he lost all the time.
He signed up for the military during WW2 and died at Hiroshima. Not that I care. But mom did. She was beside herself. My sister, Kikyo, and I were only 4 (identical twins, see…?) and my brother, Souta-chan was six months developed, so we didn't understand, and he didn't even know… Sorry. Anyway, my ji-chan started living with us, and he started helping pay off some of dad's debt. But he died soon after, so it was just me, Kikyo, Souta, and mom. Mom was already very sickly, and working over time didn't help. Kikyo and I got part-time jobs in junior high to pay for the house, so mom could focus on dad's debt. But one day she didn't come home. We found out the next day that she had over worked herself and ultimately died. So Souta, Kikyo, and I were forced out of our home and into the orphanage we live in now.
I kind of wish it wasn't us. But that's selfish and I hate myself for thinking that. But in a way I can't help but think that if maybe my dad had been better with money we wouldn't be here, in this almost prison-like place. I hate him. I hate him for what he did to us, for what he did to mom. And I don't feel bad for saying this but I hope he's happy, burning in the depths of hell. Because that's what he deserves.
Write to you later,
Higurashi Kagome