Geh I hate to say it but I need to take a break from writing Zutara xD I'm literally up to my eyeballs in it and... I... miss... SOKKA!

Chapter One: My Friends Disown Me.

Yeah. You read it correctly. Chapter One: My Friends Disown Me.

Me. Sokka. Charming, dashing, courageous, astonishingly witty Sokka. What were they thinking? Heaven only knows. But I'll tell you this, the world is already becoming an increasingly awful place without dear friends disowning one another right and left.

It all began at around three in the afternoon on a Thursday. Or maybe it was a Friday. I wouldn't really know, as someone's beloved pet lemur ate my calendar. That's the kind of thing I have to live with on a day to day basis, you know. Destroyed personal possessions, destroyed articles of clothing, destroyed everything. Animals are overrated, and that's a conclusion which everyone else in the world needs to hurry up and arrive at.

So anyways. I was hungry. And so I said so. What, I'm supposed to just keep it to myself? Is not one of the first and foremost premises of friendship that of being able to "tell each other everything"? God knows I listen to them moan about their problems enough. Hardly a day goes by when Katara doesn't get all depressed about the state of her toes (all cracked and dirty... its pretty disgusting actually), and I always comfort her and tell her that her toes are really just fine the way they are. And then Aang is always lamenting about Katara's lack of being in love with him. I listen to that too, and I assure him that of course Katara is just bananas for him. I know what you're thinking now. I lie too much, right? But the thing is, I don't think of it as lying. I think of it as saying the first thing that pops into my mind. The fact that the first thing that pops into my mind is usually a lie isn't something I think I should be held responsible for.

Off track again. Back to the disowning. So I said to no one in particular that I was hungry, and no one in particular answered. Obviously they thought that if they disregarded me for long enough then I would shut up. And usually I do. Long strings of dialogue consume too much energy. But that day I was feeling rather energetic, and so I decided to go into deeper description regarding the state of my hunger. Really, one can never exercise their descriptive skills enough.

"There's a lot of types of hunger. I like to categorize them. Type A of course is the classic My Stomach Is Going To Cave In type. And then there's the ever enjoyable Type B– I'm Considering Vomiting Up Last Evening's Rice And Eating It Again. But who can forget about Type C, the rare but increasingly common Hey How About I Cook Momo–"

And it was at that point that Aang hit me with a gust of wind which knocked me right onto my butt. I managed to fall with really admirable poise and dignity, I think, and it's a pity there's no one around whose perceptive enough to notice those sorts of things about me.

After that I decided to wander away from the rest of the group to find some edible vegetation, which, incidentally, is a lot harder than it sounds. After a few minutes of that I was feeling pretty disoriented. I wasn't lost. Definitely not. I have never in my life been lost. No destination can elude me. Honestly, whoever named the map a "map" should have named it the Sokka. Wouldn't that be awesome? I can just hear people saying, "Hold on guys, I need to take a look at the Sokka, and then I'll point us in the right direction, all thanks to the aid of this really great Sokka."

So yeah, I was sort of just walking through the forest, surveying the trees for rare insect life and that sort of thing, when I heard noises off to the left. It sounded like a girl's voice. And I thought to myself, 'This could be a damsel in distress!' That's just the type of guy I am. No matter how pitifully starving or engrossed with studying insect life I am, there's always time for a damsel in distress. It really surprises me sometimes that I haven't got a medal yet.

Well it turns out it wasn't a damsel in distress. Not even close. It was that psychotic Fire Nation princess Azula. She's actually pretty attractive, in that borderline menacing way, and if I had kids with her they'd probably be really good looking.

Obviously there followed a battle between Azula and I, but I hardly need to recount the details to you, because I think by now you know me well enough to recognize that I'm the kind of guy who fights every battle with jaw dropping speed, agility, and stamina. If, in the end, I ended up sprinting through the forest with that bitch on my tail, its not because I was running away. Heavens no. It's because I was leading her into a trap. My brain is always ticking, always one step ahead, and so that had actually been my plan all along.

And then, wouldn't you know it, the others weren't ready for me! I had been yelling pretty loud, not out of fear of course, but to alert them to the situation at hand, but in their deafness they hadn't heard me. Isn't that just typical? Honestly, the things I put up with would put any other guy in his grave. I'm just lucky I have the perseverance and levelheadedness to survive such a precarious lifestyle.

Well after Azula and I collided with Aang and the rest, there was a little bit of panic. A little bit of chaos. None of it was my fault. Later on, my dear sister had the audacity to accuse me of surprising Appa into one of his "I want to stampede" moods, but that's just utter rubbish. Appa needs to get a bit braver is what needs to happen.

To make a long story short, we got away. I daresay it was all due to my distracting the other Fire Nation girl who had joined in with the fight, Ty something. Later on, dear Toph would so rudely accuse me of flirting in the midst of a fight for life or death. I nearly choked on the air I was breathing. Me? Flirting? In the midst of a fight for life or death?

Gods forbid it. I would never.

So yes, that night I was faced with all manner of such denigrating and defamatory charges. And I kept my head held high as Aang and Katara and Toph listed their grievances. I pride myself on being of noble bearing, and one of noble bearing never succumbs to negativity.

But then they she said it.

"Sokka... we're leaving you for a bit."

Leaving is just another word for disowning. I was too surprised to speak.

"Don't look so pale Sokka, it's only while we go on this delicate mission..."

Delicate missions are my specialty!

"We'll be back in no time Sokka. It's just better this way."

Back in no time my ass. I'm the one in the group who sets the grueling pace. I practically keep everyone alive! And so I said, "You'll die without me!"

And would you believe it, they laughed at me? I for one don't even see how one could stare into eyes such as mine, such a striking shade of blue, and laugh. But then, a lot of really amazing things go unappreciated. Like raw meat.

So there you have it. They disowned me, and they left on their little "delicate mission."

But I would show them. In their absence, I would depart on my own delicate mission, one which would turn the tide of the war and insure my name's placement in all of history's annals.

A.N.

Stay tuned xD