Luke lied on his bed staring at the ceiling of his room, twirling his thumbs repeatedly, around and around. Images of Noah and Reid flooded his brain. He flashed to his and Noah's first kiss. He remembered how confused and excited and scared he was. He never thought that helping Noah with his tie would lead to a kiss. Until that moment Noah had vehemently denied his feelings for Luke but Luke could see through his façade. He knew Noah was scared. Scared of who he was and of what his father might do if he found out. Luke had to admit he was afraid too. There was a slight tremor in his voice as he held onto Noah's tie and asked him, "What's wrong?"
Noah shook his head, "Nothing," he replied. He leaned his head closer to Luke and softly kissed him. Luke had never kissed a boy before. Noah was his first everything; his first kiss, his first love and he was the only man he had ever imagined seeing a future with.
Then he met Reid; brilliant, in your face, arrogant, jerk face, sweet, nerdy Reid. It's a bit ironic that the man Luke blackmailed and bribed to come to Oakdale for Noah ended up being someone else he could see himself falling for. Luke thought about the first time they met face to face. Reid was rude and callous and couldn't wait to get away from Luke and the town he deemed "Oakhell." To say their first meeting was combustible would be an understatement. They were like two alpha males fighting for dominance and neither was sure who would come out on top. Reid was probably used to people cowering before his insensitive, cruel and indifferent behavior, but Luke never did that. He could hold his own against the good doctor and Luke would bet that Reid secretly liked that about him. He thought about when things started to change between them. Truthfully, there wasn't one moment butt a couple stood out the most, like when Luke found out about Reid's patient, Annie, and how he did everything to save her but only succeeded in giving her one year to live, he was finally able to see a different side to Reid. He got a glimpse of the caring side that Reid worked so hard to disguise. Reid was remorseful and sensitive and showed a side of himself that Luke was sure very few people had ever seen. In all honesty, the real moment Luke's feelings changed was the instant Luke got a genuine smile from Reid, he was a goner. Luke's mind flashed to the time in the hospital when he was trying to convince Reid about adding a waiting room for families in the new neurological wing. Luke for sure thought that Reid would turn him down immediately, but Reid surprised him when he said it might not be a bad idea.
"Maybe you won't be as useless on this project as I thought." Reid had said to Luke.
Luke smiled. "Well, gee doctor, that's about the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Both men laughed at Luke's joke. That smile, oh that smile is enough to melt polar ice caps.
Luke turned over on his side. He found himself thinking about his and Reid's first kiss. It had caught Luke completely off guard. Reid had just gotten news that the Dallas Medical Review Board had reinstated his license, and the next thing Luke knew, Reid's lips were planted firmly on Luke's. Luke was too shocked to respond and when Reid broke away and continued babbling Luke just stared and tried to down play the kiss as if it was to be expected since Reid was uncharacteristically ecstatic. Reid refused to down play the kiss at all, telling Luke that he had wanted to kiss him for awhile. That was also the moment Reid finally called Luke by his first name. After that Luke couldn't deny that he was developing feelings for the young doctor. He felt an excitement and rush he hadn't felt in a long time; and it wasn't the same as what he felt for Noah. What he feels for Reid is new and charged. They have an undeniable chemistry, but Luke and Noah have history and years of love and devotion. Those feelings just don't go away, and of course he told Reid that. Luke never wanted to hurt Reid or Noah, but when Noah found out about Luke and Reid he was devastated and angry. Reid gave Luke the space he needed to make his decision but the developing issue of their relationship and the potential sale of the hospital forced Reid to make a choice, Luke or the hospital, and Reid did the most logical thing he could think of, he chose the hospital. Luke, in turn, did the only thing he knew to do; if Reid was giving him up then Luke was giving up on him.
When Luke saw Reid in Java today he looked upset and like he wanted to say something but instead he turned and walked out. Luke figured Reid must have thought something was going on with Luke and Noah and didn't want to see it, but when Luke went after him he completely blew Luke off.
Luke ran his hand through his hair. He was still torn. He didn't know what he was going to do about Noah or Reid. If Reid really wanted to be with me, he would have chosen me, but he didn't, so why am I agonizing over this?
He once told Reid that Noah was the love of his life, wasn't that still true? If it wasn't why would he beg Noah to get back to get back together with him the second after Reid told him to decide? Luke came to a conclusion. "I'm completely and utterly clueless," he sighed allowed. "God just give me a sign." Luke exclaimed. "Please just anything, I'm drowning here and I have no idea what to do." Just then there was a knock at Luke's door. Luke's eyebrows creased with a mix of surprise and confusion. "Wow, you work fast. Come in." he instructed the visitor. Noah walked in and Luke abruptly sat up.
"Hey, your mom said it was okay if I came up."
"Noah, hey. What's up?"
"I'm here because I want to talk to you; well I need to talk to you…about us."
"What about us?" Luke asked confused, as far as he knew Noah didn't want there to be an 'us.' Noah walked over and sat down next to Luke.
"Luke, you know I've never really been good at expressing myself to you. Throughout our relationship I held back, I resisted you and I made you think that I didn't want you. Especially recently, with me being blind, I drove you away like I always do…"
"I understand Noah you were just trying to figure out how to do things for yourself."
"I know, but it's no excuse for pushing you away. So I need you to understand that I get it." Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I get why you turned to Dr. Oliver, I mean here's this guy that says he likes you as easily as stating a fact and that is something I've never really done, so I get it. But I also realized after you ran after Reid at Java today and I need you to know that I love you. I'm still so very much in love with you." Noah confessed as he reached out for Luke's hand. Luke smiled.
"Noah, I…" Luke paused, not knowing what to say. To say he was shocked would be a gross understatement.
"I want us to be together."
"What?" Luke asked surprised.
"I was hurt when I first told you that I didn't want to be with you because of Reid. I was confused because I had this selfish delusion that you would always be waiting for me and seeing you and Reid kissing just…it hurt."
Luke looked away from Noah. "I know."
"But I don't care about that anymore. All I care about is that you and I are together. The way it should be."
"Noah, you have no idea how long I waited for you to say this. All I've wanted for the past couple of months is for things to go back to the way they were."
"And we can, we can be as happy as we were, before any of this began with Mason and being blind and everything."
Luke looked down at his hands as if all the answers he was looking for was burned permanently in his palms. Noah was saying all the things Luke and wanted to hear. So why am I still not happy? "Noah…" Luke paused not sure how to say what he wanted to say. "Noah, that's all I ever wanted since your accident, is to be with you, but I've realized that I'm not so sure that we can go back to the way things were because I was way too dependent on you. That was part of our problem you always needed space and I always just wanted to be close to you."
"So what are you saying?"
Luke stood up and paced his room as he ran his hand through his hair. "God, I don't know what I'm saying. I mean even before you got here I was thinking about us and how much I missed how we used to be and now you're here and telling me everything I've wanted to hear and I can't help but wish…"
"That I was someone else saying this to you, that I was Reid?"
"That's not what I said…"
"But it's what you mean." Noah stood up and looked Luke in the eyes. "Luke just tell me, what do you want?"
"I've been asking myself the same question, Noah." Noah could hear the tears in Luke's voice. "I don't know what I want, I just don't know."
"Do you want to be with me? It's a simple yes or no, Luke and I think you do know the answer. So tell me, Luke. Either you want to be with me or Reid."
"Noah, please…"
"Answer me this, who do you see yourself waking up next to every morning? Who do you see yourself kissing, and holding and touching?" Noah demanded. "Just tell me Luke." Luke didn't answer he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, a single tear falling down his face. "Just tell me." More tears fell down Luke's face as he shook his head. Noah jerked back as if he had been slapped. "It's not me, is it?" Noah whispered.
"Noah, I'm so sorry." Luke reached out his hand to caress Noah's face but Noah just stepped back further.
"Don't. Just don't."
"Noah, please. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but I can't lie to you anymore or myself. I love you, I will always love you. We shared something so special and it means everything to me, but I want to be with Reid."
Noah looked to the floor and nodded his head, "Then you should be with him." And with that Noah rushed out of Luke's room not bothering to stop when Luke called his name.
Luke had done it he finally chose. Deep down he always knew. When Noah walked through his door, Luke thought for sure that the "sign" he asked for was telling him that Noah was the right choice, but once Noah confessed his feelings and how much he wanted to be with Luke, all Luke could think about how he wanted Reid there telling him the things Noah was saying. Luke knew, he was sure, he loved Reid. He loved Reid's smile, his laugh, his arrogance everything, the whole package. All Luke wants is for Reid to tell him how much he wanted him and there was no one he would rather be with. Luke was finally sure; Noah was his past and Reid was his future.
"I have to tell him." Luke decided. He grabbed his keys of his night stand and rushed out of the house. He drove straight to his Aunt Katie's apartment.
There was a frantic knock at Katie's door, she was fully prepared to yell at the nuisance about how she had a 6 month old sleeping baby until she opened the door and found that Luke looking flustered in her doorway.
"Oh, Luke, it's you. What's going on? Are you okay? You look a little flustered." She asked as she let him in and closed the door behind him.
"Oh, no I'm okay. Actually I'm looking for Reid. Is he here? I have something I really need to tell him."
Katie frowned, "Oh, sweetie…" She paused. She looked like she was about to tell Luke his dog died. Good thing he didn't have a dog.
"What's wrong, Katie?"
"Luke, he's gone."
"What do you mean he's gone? Like, he-went-to-the-store-for-some-diapers-and-baby-food-and-he'll-be–back-in-a-minute-gone or gone, gone?"
"He's gone, gone. He's on his way back to Dallas."
"Why did he leave?"
"Well after he quit his job this afternoon, he came back mumbling about how he made a mistake and he needed to get out of here."
"Wait a minute, he quit his job? Why did he do that?"
"He did it for you, Luke. He wanted to show you that he chose you. I don't know why he didn't find you and tell you that." Luke's face fell as realization hit him. He was going to tell Luke but he blew him off after he thought something was going on between Luke and Noah. "I thought for sure he would, instead he booked a flight to Dallas leaving tonight."
"Oh God, this is all my fault. He came to java this afternoon but when he saw me with Noah he ran off. I tried to talk to him but he claimed he wanted to pretend like nothing ever happened between us so I let him go. I should have told him then but I didn't realize."
"Realize what?" Katie asked.
"I didn't realize that I'm in love with him."
"Oh, wow! Well maybe you should tell him that. His plane leaves in…" Katie looked at her watch. "20 minutes. If you leave now you might just make it."
"Maybe I can just call him."
"I think telling him to his face that you love him is a better idea. It's way more romantic."
"You're right." Luke hugged Katie. "Thanks Aunt Katie."
"You're welcome, now go." She shooed him out the door.
Luke jumped in his car and raced to the Oakdale Airport. As soon as he got there he found the nearest departure and arrival board and found out the last flight leaving for Dallas was at 9:45pm. He had 5 minutes before Reid's plane left. Please don't let me be too late, please don't let me be too late. Luke thought as he ran through the airport looking for gate 16 C. Luke pushed his way through the lines of people just arriving and preparing to depart he followed the arrows pointing to Gate C and continued to run. Once he made it to Gate C he counted the numbers aloud as he passed them, "10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16!" he shouted. Luke looked at where the flight attendants were collecting tickets and saw Reid give a dark haired guy his boarding pass.
"Reid!" Luke shouted. Reid looked in the direction of the voice and saw that it was Luke. Luke ran up to the Reid, still slightly out of breath so he was breathing pretty hard.
"Luke, what are you doing here?"
"I…couldn't…let…you," Luke was trying to say while catching his breath.
"Luke calm down, breathe, before you have a stroke. You couldn't let me what?" Luke held up a finger signaling for Reid to give him a second to catch his breath.
"I couldn't let you leave without telling you…that…that I love you and you're the only man I want to be with."
"What?"
"I love you, Reid."
"What do you mean you love me?"
Luke laughed, "It's not brain surgery, Reid. I…" Luke pointed to his eye. "Love…" He crossed his fists over his chest. "You." Lastly, he pointed to Reid.
"Oh, honey give him another chance." a woman standing near the couple said to Reid.
Reid turned to the woman and gave her a look that said mind your own business. He also realized that almost everyone was staring at him and Luke. "You do realize everyone is watching us, right?"
"Then you better tell me you love me." Luke cheekily smiled.
"What about Noah?"
"I told Noah, that even though we share a past and I will always care about him, I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm in love with you."
For a second Reid didn't say anything, "I don't know what to say."
"This is the last boarding call for flight 5510 going to Dallas, Texas non-stop." The flight attendant said through the PA system. She covered her hand over the microphone as she said, "Sir, if you're still going on this flight you need to go on now."
"Give us one more minute, please." Luke begged the woman.
She smiled softly, "30 seconds."
"Reid, please."
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"I just want you to tell me how you feel. If you tell me you don't want me I will leave right now and you can go back to Dallas and forget I ever existed. I will never bother you again."
"Luke, of course I want you," Luke smiled. "But how do I know you won't wake up tomorrow and decide you would rather be with Noah? I'm afraid…it's just…I don't think I could handle it if you did."
"Trust me when I say you're the only one I want to be with. I know I fought you and backed away." Luke moved closer to Reid. "I did it because I'm scared and I know you are too, but I can honestly tell you, I have never felt for someone the way I feel about you, not Noah, not anyone. Please believe me; I won't hurt you like that, not ever again." Luke reached his hand up to caress Reid's face.
Reid closed his eyes as he leaned into Luke's touch. "Promise?" Reid whispered to Luke.
Luke smiled, "I promise." Luke whispered back before he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Reid's. They vaguely heard the claps and whistles and awes in the background because all they could focus on was each other. Reid dropped his bag as brought his hand to cup Luke's neck as he applied more pressure to deepen the kiss.
"You missed your flight." Luke said when they broke apart. He touched his forehead to Reid's.
"That's okay. I got a better offer here." Luke lifted his head up so that he and Reid were looking each other in the eyes and smiled. "I love you too." Reid finally responded before he pulled Luke into a tight embrace.