A/N: Now this Shepard is the smiling type when happy…but the angry type when extremely angry. You'll know what I mean…
Shepard was giggling as she danced around her room. Her music up at 'full blast' she waved her hips around and sang along with the words. "This used to be a funhouse. But now it's full of evil clowns. But now it's time to start the countdown."
"Commander?"
Kaidan had received no response. "Commander!"
He heard shuffling and the music stopped. "Yeah?"
"What are you doing in there? And what's that music?"
The door opened up and he took in the sight of Shepard. "Oh just some old music. Nothing you'd like." She waved him off and turned back on the music.
The door shut in his face and he sighed. Going back to his console, he heard the elevator door open. Garrus Vakarian was heading towards Shepard's room. "What the hell is that music?"
"I'm not entirely sure." Kaidan answered as Garrus banged on the door.
"Commander!" The door opened up abruptly as Shepard glared at him.
"Now what!"
"What is that music?"
"Nothing you'd care for. Can't you leave a stressed out woman in peace?"
"Tell me anyways."
That surprised Shepard. "Um…here let me show you Garrus." She gestured for him to come in and his eyes widened. "Jeez Garrus. You act like as if I'm going to kill you or something."
Ignoring the jab, he stepped inside her room and glanced around. Simple and tidy. Nothing remarkable about it. "The song is called 'Funhouse' by Pink. I love her! She's different but in a good way. I'll play it again. Prepare for some crazy dance moves."
As the music started up, Garrus translated the words. 'What the hell is this woman talking about?'
Shepard was clearly enjoying the song however. Her human hips swaying to the beat of the music and her lips mouthing the lyrics, he couldn't help but smile. "Let's go Garrus!" Her grin and words were his only warning. Shepard grabbed his arms and danced alongside him. "Show us some turian dance moves!"
Garrus could only laugh. Shepard huffed and continued dancing. Garrus relented and danced. Well…tried to dance. Shepard grinned up at him and he grinned back. "I can't believe we're…uh dancing. You of all people…"
"Just because I'm an N7 vanguard, survived Akuze, became the first human spectre doesn't mean I don't have personality." Shepard winked at him and switched the music to what she had called, 'My Life Would Suck without You' by Kelly Clarkson.
"Oh…wow." Was all he could say as he was sucked back in for more dancing.
Two songs later and he was already tired. But Shepard wasn't. The song was slower this time and his turian hips swayed along with Shepard's.
Humans were so different than them. More fragile and all of them looked so different from another. Some had fat faces and others had skinny faces. Different colored hair, facial markings, eye colors, and even different default expressions. Some had grins on all the time while others had scowls on all day long.
"You're a good friend Garrus." Shepard whispered and he barely heard her.
"So are you." He whispered back, eyes fluttering. This feeling…it scared the crap out of him. It was different…but so was Shepard. Maybe that was good thing.
Shepard had the 'Commander face' on when around other people. But on the Normandy surrounded by friends she was herself. A constant grin present on her face, her dark blue eyes watered with tears of mirth, shoulder-length black hair flowing around her perfect face, scars criss-crossing her cheeks…Shepard was beautiful in 'human terms' it seemed.
Kaidan couldn't help but stare at her as she walked by him he had noticed. At first he had joked about it with Tali, but now he couldn't bring himself to even think about it. 'This is ridiculous. What do I care?'
"Hell, can I say this?" Shepard glanced up at him, eyes questioning.
"Sure." He said simply.
"Be my best friend." Shepard's grin was gone and was replaced by 'Commander Shepard' face.
"Of course." And they left it that.
"We're at the Citadel Commander." Joker's voice spoke over the intercom.
"Thanks Joker." Shepard smiled at him, cheeks extended into a cute look. 'Cute? Ah…fuck.' Garrus thought.
"Ready for some shore leave Mr. Vakarian?" Shepard's face was expectant. How could he say no to his commanding officer?
"Ah…I don't know. The Mako-"
"Screw the Mako. Let's go to Flux. The lot of us."
"Fine fine. Whatever you say Shepard."
Shepard's eyes screamed 'victorious'. Shaking his head in laughter, Garrus walked out with Shepard. Shepard gathered the whole crew to head out to Flux. Even Joker attended. When they were finally there, she ordered 'shots on the house' for the Normandy crew. A couple of the Normandy crew were making fools of themselves on the dance floor.
Garrus observed everybody by a secluded corner. Tali was talking to Engineer Adams who was looking at her strangely. 'Oh'. He thought as he looked away to someone else. Ashley was offering a truce to Wrex who accepted. Garrus noted this as he moved on. Dr. Chakwas was one of the 'fools' dancing. Grinning a bit, he glanced at Shepard. Kaidan was talking to Shepard animatedly. He made Shepard laugh a few times and his stomach clenched up.
'Why do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care?' He kept repeating to himself and realized that Shepard had walked over to him. "Something wrong Garrus?"
Kaidan had tagged along behind her and he noted this as well. "Nothing Shepard."
"Oh well…" Shepard gazed over at the dance floor and an idea popped into her head. "Hey you two! Us three. Dance. Now."
"Uh…um well. I don't know…" Both Kaidan and Garrus stuttered as Shepard laughed at them.
"Oh come on now! Don't want to disappoint your Commander now do you?" Shepard's eyes were what humans described as 'Bambi eyes'. He never understood why but he didn't bother to know.
"Fine." The two said. They followed Shepard as she skipped over to the dance floor. The music played at Flux was a huge contrast to the music which was played in Shepard's room. But she didn't seem to mind much. Garrus held back a bit as he danced and she seemed to notice but didn't comment.
Little did they know, paparazzi was in town. And it was here. In Flux. Taking videos and pictures. Of the three of them dancing. Together.
"Can you believe this?" The booming sound of Shepard's angry voice vibrated throughout the ship. Garrus sighed and got up from his meal and headed upstairs to the CIC.
"What's the matter Commander?" And she answered with a holopad slammed onto his face.
He glared at her a bit and read it. His eyes widened with each word. "Oh…shit."
"Fuck yeah this news deserves a 'oh shit'. Damn! Fucking 'freedom of the press' my ass!" Everybody on the CIC was staring at the pair and the whole ship was dead quiet.
A Normandy Ship Scandal
By Khalisah Al-Jilani Reporter from Westerlund News
Reported this evening is a Normandy ship scandal. Quarians fawning over human officers. Krogans 'drinking' with human females. Turians 'grinding' with Commander Shepard herself.
The way this ship runs is simply a scandal. Is Commander Shepard involved a three-some consisting of a human male and a turian male? The whole ship's crew was reported drinking the whole night. Aliens are running rampant on the Normandy, acting in a manner which is considered 'socially unacceptable'. These vivid and descriptive pictures tell the tale of a 'Normandy Ship Sex Scandal.'
The following pictures were…'appreciative' of Shepard's dancing. "Um…Shepard?"
"What?" She snapped.
"Have you um…seen these pictures yet?" The look on her face said no.
She yanked the holopad away from him and stared incredulously at the 'vivid' pictures. "What the fuck!"
Scrolling through them, Shepard's eyes practically popped out of her sockets. The first one was of Shepard's…behind as she danced dangerously close to Alenko. He didn't remember that. The second one was of Shepard 'making out' with Alenko. He certainly didn't remember that. The others…were too bad to even speak of.
"Hey Commander did you see the news yet? There's a nice video of you and Garrus doing-" Joker was cut off by a personal visit from Shepard. Curse words emanated from the cockpit and people were turning pale in the face. Fear was clear in their eyes. Everybody knew not to screw with Commander Shepard.
Garrus backed away slowly and sprinted down the stairs to hide from Shepard's incoming wrath. 'The Alliance is going to get a lot of angry emails.' He thought as he heard Shepard's loud footsteps running down the stairs. 'Oh…fuck.'