Just because I really wished they were trapped in that elevator longer then what they were, lol. I worked really hard on this fic so I hope people liked it!
Edited!
Reid coughed as they got out of the car.
"That cough sounds bad," Morgan commented and Reid rolled his eyes.
"It's nothing."
"You sure?"
"Yes! I'm sure." Reid was always defensive about the idea of being able to do his job properly.
Morgan raised his hands up in defeat
"Just making sure."
Reid sighed.
"I'm fine, don't worry about it. It's just a bad cold or something."
"Colds can kill," remarked Morgan but a warning look from Reid told him not to push the subject. They headed to the elevator.
"Why did you volunteer us to search his office in the middle of a Friday night when we're not even going to report it until tomorrow?" He growled.
"Because." Reid interrupted himself with another coughing fit. "He's going to be gone tonight. He has a date."
"Yeah, so do I," Derek sighed. Reid rolled his eyes as he pressed the button. Morgan was afraid to say anything as he glanced over at Reid who couldn't stop coughing.
"Did you bring any water?" He finally dared to ask. Red faced Reid shook his head while covering his mouth.
"I'll be fine," he rasped and he tried to swallow. Morgan nodded and they got in. Reid leaned against the handrail inside the elevator as Morgan pushed the button. Something happened. The elevator jolted.
"What the hell?" Morgan asked, trying to steady his footing. As he and Reid glanced at each other the elevator slammed down, causing Reid to lose his balance and hit his head against the railing as he fell. As quickly as it started, it stopped. Morgan glanced over to the kid.
"You okay?" Reid nodded, as he helped himself back up,and gasped for breath. "What the hell happened?" Fear was in his voice.
"I think we're stuck..."Morgan's voice trailed off as he tried to pry open the door.
"Stuck? What do you mean, stuck?" Panick filled Reid's voice as he tried to control his breathing. he did not do well in closed spaces.
"Oh yeah, we're stuck,"Morgan groaned as he stopped trying to open the door. "Damn it!" He sighed and glanced at Reid. "Do you have a phone on you?"
Reid shook his head, trying to gulp in air.
"I left it in the car."
Morgan sighed.
"Yeah me too. And no one is expecting us until tomorrow."
"And no one else is in the building," Reid groaned, the reality of the situation sinking in. He glanced at Morgan. "What are we going to do?"
Morgan shook his head and slid against the wall.
"Wait, I guess."
"All night?" The high pitchness of his voice brought another coughing fit and Reid groaned as a sharp pain in his head entered. He must have hit his head harder then he thought, for he was getting a little dizzy. Morgan stared at him.
"You gonna be all right?" He didn't bother to hide the worry.
"I..Think so," Reid tried to say, but Morgan could barely understand him through the coughing fit he was having.
"I wish I had some water," Morgan said. softly. He hated listening to that cough. It sounded like it was getting worse and worse.
"Me too," rasped Reid. Out of exhaustion he sank to the ground. Derek did the same. He studied the kid and frowned.
"What's that on the back of your head?"
"What's what?" The kid's weak voice responded.
"Turn your head." Reid obeyed, weakly. There was blood on his hair.
"Blood...why the hell are you bleeding back there?" Now it was Morgan's turn to be panicked.
"I think I hit my head...agains the these handrails when the elevator fell," Reid murmured.
Great so on top of Reid being sick Morgan is also going to have to watch out and make sure he didn't get a concussion. He didn't like how weak Reid was sounding either.
"Okay kid, do me a favor. You gotta stay awake for me."
"Why?" Reid mumbled as he leaned his head back, coughing every few seconds. "Sleep well pass the time."
"If you go to sleep you might wind up in a coma," Morgan warned. "We don't know how bad you hit your head, so you gotta stay awake. Can you do that for me?"
"Sure..." Reid mumbled as he leaned his head against Morgan's shoulders. "Let me just close my eyes for a few minutes then..."
"No." Morgan moved causing Reid to raise his head, clearly annoyed.
"What was that for?" That outburst presented another coughing fit. Reid felt worse after each cough. His head was heavy, his eyes puffy. His entire body weak. He hated feeling weak.
"You need to stay awake."
"You're not the boss of me," Reid mumbled. He was so sleepy. He just wanted the pain to stop. To stop feeling so weak.
"Please, Reid," Morgan pleaded, real fear in his eyes and voice. If anything happened to this kid...will he'd never forgive himself. "Please, do it for me."
"I just want it all to stop," sighed Reid. "It's so much work...staying awake." More coughing. This time blood appeared on his hand as he covered his mouth. He said nothing as he wiped it on his clothes but Morgan's ever so watchful eye noticed, pursed his lips, and said nothing.
"I know you do, kiddo. You gotta try. The Reid I know would at least try."
Reid sighed and nodded.
"I'll try."
Morgan nodded back.
"Good." He pulled Reid a little closer and felt his forehead. "You're burning up." He noticed the kid was shivering, though, and quickly placed his jacket around his shoulders.
"Thanks,"Reid mumbled. His voice was so dry, so hoarse Morgan could barely understand him.
"I don't like closed spaces," Reid mumbled. He was trying to control his breathing. Morgan frowned.
"Since when?"
"Since the shack..."Reid's voice trailed off and Derek closed his eyes, sorry to have pressed the issue. "And...and since Charles...wanted to bury me alive."
"He wanted to what?" Shock filled Morgan's voice. Reid never talked much about what happened out in the shack. When they finally rescued him he was too traumatized to really say much and then afterwards he wanted to forget it ever happen and keep everything to himeslf. Almost like he was afraid of showing any signs of weakness.
"That's...what we were doing out there," rasped Reid. "He wanted me to dig my own grave...and bury me alive,so I could think about what I've done."
Morgan closed his eyes, imagining the fear the kid must have felt while he was digging his own grave. Anger rose inside of him. Deep intensly rooted anger. If Reid hadn't already killed that bastard he would have himself.
"I...sometimes dream about what would have happened...if you guys hadn't come...and because of that I don't like closed spaces. They remind me too much of coffins, of graves..."
"I don't blame you." Morgan's voice was soft. "Well you're not alone, I'm here and I won't let anything bad happen to you."
"Promise?" Reid coughed and Morgan winced at the sound, as if feeling it himself.
"Promise."
"Good." The sigh in the kids voice warned Derek he was looking him.
"Come on Spencer, you need to stay awake."
"You called me Spencer."
"Yeah," Morgan smiled. "I did."
Reid groaned.
"What's wrong?" Morgan instantly tensed.
"Chest pains," Reid murmured. "Difficult to breathe..."
"All right..." Morgan's voice trailed off. "Just easy does it. Nice long deep breaths. And slow, can you do that?"
Reid nodded.
"All right, in and out. Nice and easy." As Morgan repeated the breathing excersise the pain subsided for the time. Silence resumed as Morgan heard Reid praticing the breathing tecnique.
"Can I ask you a question?" For some reason he kept his voice soft.
"Sure." Boy did the kid's voice sound weak.
"You could be anything you wanted to be, surgean, scientest...teacher, why'd you join the BAU? I mean hell you could even work for NASA. You're by far the smartest pesron I've ever met and being so young it's made me wonder..."
"Why am I crazy enough to work in this field?" Reid laughed, but it was interrupted by a cough. "I...I'm still trying to figure that out myself...I mean a part of it has to do with my own fears."
"Your own fears?"
"Of going crazy. I figured I'd have a better chance of not if I spent my time using my brain to track down killers. I don't know, I know it doesn't make any sense. But maybe if my brain sees how evil some of these people are it'll fight harder not to snap and become one of them..." Reid shook his head. "I'm not making any sense."
"No you're not. You're saying you're actually afraid of becoming an Unsub? Of going crazy?"
"With what my mother has and how different my brain is to everyone else...yes. I mean I hear those voices some of the killers talk about. The people that they lock up in the mental hospital. I...I hear them too...and I get scared...that I'm losing my mind. And it just helps to know that I'm doing something...good with my mind. Something uesful."
"But you could do something good being a surgean and it'd be a lot less dangerous."
Reid coughed again.
"I guess...I want to see how killers think, how the work, how they operate...to make sure if I ever start to crack, I can see the signs and spot them before it's too late."
"You're really afraid of going crazy?" Morgan sounded shocked because he was shocked. He never even dreamed that would be a concern for the kid.
Reid nodded.
"Always have been," he murmured weakly.
Morgan fell silent,deep in thought.
"I had no idea," he whispered.
"I don't broadcast it to everyone so I'd appreciate it if you don't tell anyone."
"Whatever you say stays between me and you," Morgan said firmly. He had noticed the shivering had decreased. He checked the wound on the back of Reid's head. Still pretty bad. He listened to Reid's cough. Still the same.
"Can I ask you a question?" Reid dared to ask.
"Sure, guess it's my turn."Morgan smiled.
"How come you're never serious with any girl? That you never...get tied down with them?"
Morgan whistled.
"Wasn't expecting that."
"You asked me a personal question,"Reid pointed out.
"True." Morgan sighed. "I guess I do have a bit of a commitment issue. Mostly that's because I'm afraid it won't work out, of something happening. I'm afraid to get close to them. I've seen too many families torn apart by something horrible. There's just too much evil in this world. Not just that, but this work gets to you. I don't want to bring my work home to my wife, or kids. I want to pay 100 percent attention on them, not sure I'd be able to if we were working on the case. I don't think I'd be able to seperate the two lives well enough. I mean look at Hotch and Haley. And Rossi had been married 3 times. This job poisones marriages. I don't want that happening to me."
"So you make sure you don't get hurt by never getting too involved with someone?"
Morgan paused.
"I guess so."
"Isn't that playing it safe?"
Derek paused before answering as he waited for Reid's coughing to subside again.
"Yeah, I guess it is. That way you don't get hurt at least."
"Sounds lonely."
Morgan looked at the kid.,
"You're one to talk. I never see you with anyone."
Reid flushed and lowered his head.
"That's different."
This was getting more personal then he was expecting. His whole body was flushed, not because of the question. He could feel the fever escelating but didn't want to say anything to Morgan. He also felt fuzzy around the head. Dizzy almost, but not really. It was hard to explain. Disoriented maybe. And oh was his throat dry. What he wouldn't give for some water...
"How's that different?"
"I'm...not good with girls. I never have been. Girls are more interested in guys like you then in geeks like me."
"Who said you're a geek?"
Reid rose his eyesbrows.
"You did, yesterday."
Morgan rolled his eyes.
"I don't count. You're better with women then you think."
Reid snorted.
"No, I'm serious! What about that Lila girl? That actress? She had the major hots for you! You were her hero. She could have picked anyone and she chose you. Don't sell yourself short, kid. And remember that girl at the club that you did the magic trick on? She was interested in you too."
Reid was silent.
"You just need more confidence."
"How...can you have more confidence when you don't feel confident?"
Morgan sighed.
"Good question...I don't know...I'm not good at explaining this stuff.."He glanced at the kid's weak face and sighed agian. He had to try, for Reid's sake cause the kid was definently fading fast. "You just have to be more sure of yourself. Realize you are worth something. That you're not nothing. That your thoughts and opinions do matter. If you think that, girls well go crazy for you."
"You sound like an overpriced hallmark greeting card," scoffed Reid. He tried to laugh as he talked but that made the coughing worse. Morgan snorted and punched him lightly on the shoulder.
"That's what I get for giving advice." Morgan rolled his eyes. Even when the kid was sick he had wit.
They fell silent for a few minutes, each in their own thoughts. Reid groaned as he felt a headache appearing and dreamed of having the dilaud with him. Drugs would have helped him so much right now.
Don't tell me it doesn't help.
It makes the pain go away.
Damn Tobias for being right.
Should he tell Morgan? He hated the lying and sneaking around with the team members. The only pesron who knew about his drug addiction was Hotch.
"Ca...Can I tell you something? Without...you freaking out?" He was getting better at speaking with a sore throat.
"Of course." Concern flickered in Moran's voice.
Reid paused, his body shaking.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's wrong kiddo?"
"Promise me you won't freak?" Reid sounded desperate. "Promise?"
"I promise." Morgan's voice was soft now, worried. "Reid, what is it?"
Reid lowered his eyes.
"You know those drugs that Tobias gave me?"
Morgan nodded. He remembered all too well. Reid couldn't have any pain medication until they tested him to make sure they didn't overdose him.
"I...I took them after I shot him. I took them from his pocket."
Morgan closed his eyes, trying very hard to control his anger.
"Did you...use them?"
Reid nodded.
"It helped with the pain." Tears fell from his face when he saw the dissapointed etched in Morgan's eyes. "They helped and...I made myself stop but I started using when I couldn't save that kid..."
Morgan sighed. He never pictured Reid as a drug addict. Never. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he didn't spend enough time with the kid. He should have helped Reid more, even when Reid said everything was okay.
"You can't save everyone, Reid."
"I know, but still. It just made everything worse." Tears fell more freely. He glanced at Morgan. "You're dissapointed in me."
Morgan shook his head.
"No Reid, I'm dissapointed in myself. For not spending more time with you. For not being there for you, to give you someone to talk to. And for that I am sorry. I hope you forgive me."
Reid stared at him, obviously shocked and confused. This was not the answer he was expecting.
"Does Hotch know?" Derek added and he quickly nodded.
"Ye...yes, he knows. He...he's not reporting it either. We don't really talk about it upfront but I know he knows."
He nodded.
"Good...because you don't want to keep something like that from him...have you been going to meetings?"
Reid nodded.
"I'm not much of a group person but they help. It helps to know I'm not alone...with this problem."
Morgan sighed and nodded as well.
"Good, that's good." There was so much to absorb, Reid's fear of closed spaces, his confidence problems, drug problems. So much he didn't know about the kid.
Reid didn't understand his friends reaction.
He was so sure Morgan would have looked down on him. Consider him weak.
"I'm not weak," he suddenly murmured. "I'm not weak."
Morgan looked surprised.
"I never said you were."
"I'm not weak, that's not why I sent her away..."
Morgan frowned at the seperate train of thought.
"What are you talking about Reid?"
"Mom...I sent her away...but I had too...it wasn't cause I was weak...Cause she needed help."
"You don't still blame yourself for her illness do you? Reid you did more then most kids would have! While she should have been taking care of you, you were taking care of her! While dealing with daily bullying and growing up without a father and being different! That takes a LOT of strength and a lot of bravery. You maybe many things but you are NOT weak! And taking drugs doesn't mean you're weak either. You just need help, that's all."
Reid controlled his breathing, trying to give great gulping gasps to calm down while nodding. He no...he felt it rising. It must of been the emotional stress that had triggered it. No. He closed his eyes.
"Reid? What's wrong?"
Reid quickly turned around and vomitted.
Tears rolled down his cheeks and Morgan wrinkled is nose, but felt worse for Reid then being trapped with the smell.
"It's okay Reid, it's okay." He pulled the kid closer and tried to calm Spencer's convulsed sobs, who was more embarassed about it then anything else.
"I'm sorry," Reid gasped. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, you didn't ask to be sick...though you really should have stayed home if you felt this shitty."
"I didn't want you all to think I was weak...I wanted to be able to think I was doing my job," Reid sobbed into Morgan's shirt.
Morgan knew he was in danger of getting whatever Reid was having but he didn't care. While Reid's face was pressed into him he checked for the back of Reid's head. Still not getting better.
"It's really okay Reid," he said softly. "I really don't care about that, but you still can't fall asleep on me okay?"
Reid nodded, even though exhaustion was filling him.
Mogan glanced at his watch,around midnight.
Another 8 hours to go.
They were in for a long night.
I was going to make this a really long one parter but decided to make it into a two parter. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I worked on a long time with this fic, oh and case you all are curious Reid as Pneumonia :) AGAIN please review! Oh and I really hope I kept Morgan and Reid in character while talking about serious stuff, especially Morgan.