My only defence is that this fic seemed a good idea at the time. We all love the Watch but this is my first fic about them so be kind-I know my Vimes is not brilliant. So...the Watch are trapped in the Yard as Nobby became Beti again. I have no idea where it's going, but who cares as long as the journey is enjoyable? I do not own the Discworld or its character's. R&R-please?

'Why are we here, sarge?'

''Cos you wore your Beti costume down Short Street.'

Nobby sniffed. 'No law against me trying to be alluring.'

'I don't know what you was luring but it certainly wasn't all Nobby.' Sergeant Colon was sure there were laws against Nobby dressing like that, but then there were probably laws against Nobby as he was normally.

'Just 'cos you can't appreciate beauty.'

Commander Vimes was already tiring of their bickering and they had only been in the Yard five minutes. 'Nobby you caused a riot-'

'See, I was luring all.'

'Not like that. Every officer was chased back here as the mob asked us where our high heels were. Every officer, Nobby. Now we're trapped in here until it subsides and I'm prepared to explain to Vetinari what exactly caused the riot.' Vimes didn't add and the mob were asking why there aren't laws to stop you wearing a low cut shirt.

'I'm not ashamed of what I am.'

Angua snorted. Sergant Colon tried to hide his face. Even Constable Visit stopped trying to hand out Omnian leaflets long enough for his jaw to drop, and for Constable Dorfl to begin arguing the case that when a god went silent meant that no one was there. It was the first time Washpot hadn't argued back. Dorfl was pleased that reasoned argument was winning him over.

Carrot came to the rescue. 'You shouldn't have to be ashamed, but perhaps subtlety could be tactful?'

'Tact and diplomacy are important at-tri-butes for a watchman.' This was Detritus, who was currently sitting with his back against the doors.

Vimes sighed and lit a cigar. 'So are well-honed survival instincts and the ability to run faster than the population of the Shades.'

Carrot frowned. 'The Shades are a rather misunderstood area, with many upstanding citizens who act in the best traditions of this city.'

Angua faced the wall, shaking with silent laughter.

'Carrot the best traditions of Ankh-Morpork are murdering indiscriminately, polluting a perfectly decent river and never letting anyone have anything on credit.' Vimes exhaled smoke, polluting perfectly decent air.

'Now, sir, that's simply-'

'Very true indeed.' Vimes finished the sentence before Carrot could launch himself any further into denial.

The jeers and catcalls of the mob washed lightly over the watch house.

Review-you know you want to, and I'm not sure if I should continue this fic. If you want to see a chapter 2 let me know.