I'm so cold. I know the jacket must have some sort of insulation, but my feet and toes are numb. The rest of me is numb too. Mentally, that is. I feel like I was just pushed through the reaping, the parade, all the Capitol buissness. I feel like my body is the only thing caught up with this whole thing- my mind is somewhere else. One thing stood out, though. District Twelve. I can't imagine the difficulty of going into the Games against the one you love. They're hard enough.
Yes. Finally, a spark. I smile into the darkness. I'm just going to light the fire for a couple minutes, only a few. People won't find me. I hope.
Staring into the fire, I loose myself in deep thought and begin to drift off, trying to ignore the sudden pangs of paranoia.
Crunch.
I shoot up, listening for anything else that might signal an attack. Nothing. False alarm. I let out a breath that I didn't mean to hold. I lay back down. Is that...? A shoe. My eyes widen. I'm going to die.
I screamed at the thought, I can't remember anything this horrible, this terrifying. I look up, and it's Cato. From District Two. I scramble backwards, crab style, and run into a tree.
"No, no, no, please! I'm begging you! I don't want to die! Please! Please! Let me go! I don't want to die! Don't kill me! Please!" I scream into the night, as if the Capitol would hear me and make him stop. I choke on a sob every few words.
A smile creeps onto his lips, and I see him raise a strong arm, sword ready.
"Please!" I beg quieter. "Please!" He thrusts the sword down. I'm really going to die. I can't die. I don't want to.
I thought death was easy! Fast! It's not coming! There was so much blood, why can't it stop?
A minute passes, or so it seems. More footsteps. It's him. From Twelve. Can he save me? He gets on his knees, holding a knife.
"I have to do this," he says, trying to look strong, it seemed.
"I know you do," I whisper. There's blood in my mouth, and it's hard to speak, but I have to.
"I'm so sorry," he says, his brows furrowed, his expression soft.
"Do you love her?" I ask. I need to know. I need to know that there was some sort of emotion in this arena. I need to know that this wasn't just all about your own survival to at least one person. I need to know that someone was still human. He looks at me.
"Yes. I love her with everything I have," he says.
"Then protect her," I say softly.
He nods. "I will," he says, with such detirmination even a Career about to get a fresh kill couldn't compare to.
"I'm ready," I say, one silent tear sliding down my cheek.
He takes a deep breath, leaning down and kissing my forehead. Not in a romantic way. In a way of comforting me, saying that he wishes he didn't have to do this.
I close my eyes, and he does what the Capitol wants. He looses a little bit of his humanity.