Author's Note

I own nothing of DGM. If I did, it wouldn't be as good XD

Well, here's my 1st fic, after around 5 years on this site. It's nothing big.

It's based on a theory I had. I have told a few people about it.

Cross is a favorite character of mine. I have studied his character so, it's not funny.

I have even written a manifesto on his character. It's a hobby I have, regarding favorites. Cross isn't the 1st, and probably won't be the last.

If you wanna read, check my devianrtart page, and look in my Litterature folder.

My deviantart page link is in my profile. Drop by and give a read, if you're a die hard Cross fangirl or boy.

Enough talk, now on to the fic.

Cross starred as his assailant pointed his innocence toward his head, with a smirk of confidence, even in such an unfavorable position.

He speaks out "When we first met, he didn't call himself Allen." He speaks calmly. "I should have noticed the mistake sooner." He managed to get out, shortly before his attacker pulled the trigger, unleashing his innocence onto him.

Cross struggles to remain conscious. His attacker, assuming the job was as good as done, having fled the scene little over an hour ago.

"Ngh..." Cross groans, as he struggled from the floor to sit on the window sill, he leans over, his hair fanned out over his face, as he slumps trying to remain conscious, and steady his breathing, saying he had the wind knocked from him being the biggest understatement in history.

Fortunately, his mask helped cushion the impact a bit, and though it'd been hell moving, he managed to stop the bleeding using small spells, avoiding losing more blood than he had already.

He could only lie in silence, his breathing labored. Thinking back to his realization before his shooting. "He didn't call himself Allen." He thought back to first meeting Allen, as a very young child.

*Flashback*

"Is your name Allen?" Cross asked the confused child. "I don't mean the dog either", he says gruffly.

After receiving no answer, he leaves the child with warning. "If that's not your name, forget it. Listen brat, stay away from Mana."

He parts ways with the young child, giving him the harsh message.

*End Flashback*

"That's right" Cross thought. "Neah had told me about an Allen", using Tim, after he came to Cross frantically, upon Neah's death.

"I spent a good bit of time looking for the bastard..." He thought

Then it hit him, just as hard as before. When he picked Allen from Mana's grave, he was "Allen" then. but only after Mana have given him the name.

That couldn't have been the host Neah intended, could it? "Why was I so ignorant not to notice..." Cross scolded himself. Could he really have been ignorant enough to have chosen wrong? Could it be his Allen wasn't meant to be Neah's host, indefinitely?

He had been with Allen since the child was 10 years old. He insisted that he didn't care what happened to the brat, but he had always wondered why Neah had chosen a child as a vessel after 35 years.

He asks the very question to mother, "why is a brat like that the host?" It had bothered him, and it seemed mother could sense it. She asks if the host should've been a sleazy bastard, to which Cross promptly took offense. From the beginning, Cross had badly tried to deny it, but he was never comfortable with the young boy's fate.

It's only made worse that he came to love the brat. But, Allen was a sacrifice to be lost, and Cross could do nothing but accept it.

However, with his recent realization, it's one of the biggest blows in his life. It was his fault.

He hated Allen's fate, and cursed Neah for using a child. He hugged Allen, and, thought to himself what mother said to him all those years ago. "He should've chosen some sleazy bastard as his host."

But, Neah wasn't to blame...he was.

He had chosen a child for the host, and left it at that.

All the guilt of Allen's impending doom, only for him to realize he bequeathed that doom onto him when he took him in, and settled for him as the host...

"Damn it! Why didn't I see this sooner?!" He inwardly screamed to himself...

"I didn't want to care", he thought. But, no matter how much of a macho asshole Cross acted, he wasn't heartless.

He couldn't deny it forever. He wished he were heartless. He wished he didn't give a damn.

His life has been hell because he cared. He fought in this war because he cared. A heartless person could just party it up, and not give a damn what was happening. His life would be so much better of that were the case.

But no, he couldn't fight who he was, no matter how hard he tried...He had done well putting up an asshole image.

Alot of people hated him. Only in the comfort of his lovers, and some friends did he allow himself to enjoy some things.

They genuinely did make him happy, or as happy as he could be, given all his inner demons.

Deep down, he cared. The smoking, the drinking, all because he usually felt like shit. He always told himself it was the best medicine. The hard choices he's made. The loved ones he'd lost.

Now, one loss in particular, that hurt him more than anything, all because of his mistake. A loss that could've been avoided, and that he would have to feel- the loss of his child. That's right, Allen was his child.

And now, he has realized, there is something he can do.

"I have to-"

No sooner was he pulled from his thoughts as his door opened. He didn't move, nor look to see who it was. He may have guest it was his jailers, or so-called "guards."

The door closed again. He had to move quickly. He had planned on escaping the Order after his meeting with Allen, and leaving him that last message.

He planned to part ways with Allen, but wanted Allen to know, in his own way, that he cared for him. He wanted Allen to follow his heart, not Mana's, not Neah's, and not his. "I can't laugh at Tiedoll anymore, geez..." Cross had though after the hug, and message of kind words.

He didn't count on the ambush, and though he was in more pain than he could say, he was alive. He would fight to heal, because now, he had a new mission. He had to find the Allen he was meant to find all those years ago - the Allen that Neah spoke of, his friend.

He had to see his Allen again, and make some wrongs right.

This attack worked for the best. The Order wouldn't know what came of him, and he could work without their interference, and hounding of him.

He removed his mask. "I don't need this thing anymore." His masked eye held questions, and secrets that the Order didn't know of him. Nor did he ever plan to tell them.

But now that he was leaving for good, he had no use for hiding himself anymore. No more double-agent, Exorcist guise.

He would assume his full role in the 3rd side of this unholy war, and do what he could to help end it. "I'll leave this behind, as little so long to you bastards..." He said quietly.

His gun, no longer synced to him, had to leave behind.

He couldn't afford to become a fallen one. not when he had so much to do, plus more for Allen's sake.

Having sat around enough, he struggled as he summoned Maria, using her Magdala Curtain, to hide him, and Carte Garde, to help him move a bit....

*CRASH!* "What was that?!" Shouted the guard. he quickly opened the door to the general's room, only to see a broken window, and Cross' face mask, and his gun. "Gone?!" The guard thought frantically.

The last anyone in the Order saw of the mysterious general, Cross Marian. Was he dead, or alive? Nobody knew. But, that's the way Cross wanted it, until he'd have to seek out Allen again, and free him from the cursed fate he'd saddled him with.

Then, if he chose not to, Allen wouldn't have to kill his friends. He could wholly follow his heart, and do what he believed, without interference from Neah. This was one person it wasn't too late to save. And Cross has to take a stand, and save the person he's loved like nobody else. His son.

So begins, his next mission. Possibly he most personal, and ambitious, mission yet.