Cakes and Ale
Prompt: I loved you first
Pairing: KaiHil
Rating: T
Warnings: Sexual relationship implied
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.
A/n: I fail!
-oOo-
While Hiromi Tachibana was not one of those angsty-my-life-sucks-so-freaking-get-over-it extremists, she, however, would have to agree with them when they say that life was, indeed, cruel. And the recent realization that she was in the deepest shit she had ever put herself into hit her like a tidal wave.
How had it even happened? Why did it even happen to her of all people?
She heaved a ferocious sigh. She had no answer to both questions. All she knew was that it had happened so suddenly, so unexpectedly and so anticlimactically that it was almost disappointing. But, no. it wasn't disappointing, it was just utterly foolish!
Really! She was supposed to be a smart girl. She considered herself to be a smart girl. She was a smart girl. So how could she be such an idiot?
She was a fool! An idiot! A complete and absolute idiot! Id-jut!
Of all the things to have a soliloquy over, an inner monologue of self-realization, it had to be about the most self-destructive, painful and, obviously enough, idiotic thing in the world!
As Hiromi rooted about the kitchen, yanking every drawer in sight in search for a corkscrew with the intent of bloody murder, she tried to piece together what remain of her sanity and set her tumultuous thoughts in order.
She needed to approach this logically. Relying on emotions was baseless. Especially when it came to things like this. No, no she had to see this clinically. And clinically, all she was feeling was not…not…that.
It was the sex. Yes, that was it. Just…just that. No use confusing things that was purely physical. He was a pretty good lover after all. It was only natural that she should feel some sort of attachment to the man who'd taken her virginity. Infatuation, that. And…and that was that.
"There!" Hiromi exclaimed triumphantly, both at having found the corkscrew and an answering declaration of finality to her monologue. She smiled to herself. Problem solved.
The sound of the door opening and closing permeated through the warm kitchen air. Hiromi looked up and saw him walk in. As his gaze met hers, the tension in him seemed to melt from his body. The slow half-smile, half-smirk she had grown accustomed to seeing emerged from his luscious lips. The warmth in his eyes—his intense, astonishing eyes—seemed to bathe her with a pleasant glow. For a moment, she was transfixed at the sight before her.
Her skin prickled. Her heart pounded. Her blood sang in her veins. Her ears rang. Her sight blurred. Her stomach came to life. Even her bones quivered. Hiromi gripped the counter's edge as the full force of how much he affected her.
And somewhere, deep down, Hiromi despaired. No…
After days of being so sexually aware of him that her body seemed to be in a constant state of arousal, this…this thing—what was happening was all together entirely different. Unthinkable, but…but it was there. There coming from a place so deep inside her that she hadn't known it existed until that moment.
Suddenly, everything in her was screaming. Self-preservation told her to flee. Flee from the gaze that made her weak, burn, lo—
No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No! Absolutely, there is no way! No! Not this! Anything but this. Please, God, not with this man. Not…Love.
She loved him. There was no denying it any longer. Not to herself. It wasn't infatuation at all.
Oh, dear. This was not good. This was so inappropriate. So impractical. So horribly, exceedingly painful. It wasn't the gentle unfolding of love, as she imagined it would be for her when she did fall. Instead it had become a life-shattering cataclysm. One that spelled of only one word.
Heartbreak.
"Something wrong?"
Hiromi blinked. "Wrong? Oh, uh, n-no. Not at all. Of course not." She glanced at the object in her hands in an effort to avoid her searching gaze, hoped he didn't notice the way her hand trembled as she inserted the corkscrew into the bottle of wine he'd chosen earlier, "How did the interview go?"
He took it from her. "Hn." She took his answer in a positive light, watching him as he turned the corkscrew before he cursed her once again with his bone-melting half-smile. "You did well."
Hiromi did her best to distract herself with the salt shaker she'd snatched. Tala had come by earlier, but hadn't stayed long, muttering something about Julia being too suicidal to be left alone for long now that she was nine months pregnant, and Hiromi'd been glad of the privacy she'd been otherwise deprived of since arriving at the manor, but now she wished the redhead had stayed. Anything to get away from the intense attention his best mate was showering her. "What—what do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean." He shot her a piercing, all-too-knowing glance. He turned slightly, snatching two elegant wine-glasses from a cupboard.
She bit her lip and ran her thumb over the ceramic counter top. Right. He meant not making a fool of herself in front of the camera and saving him the humiliation, and, inadvertently, his career. She blew a heavy sigh. If that didn't show how bad she had it, she didn't know what did.
Ugh. Heartbreak City, here Hiromi comes.
"You are…very capable, Omi." He poured white wine into the glasses as he turned back to her, giving her the full force of those beautiful crimson orbs, "and not just in the bedroom."
Her head snapped up toward him. "You think I'm…" Her voice sounded small and uncertain, so very unlike herself. She cleared her throat, trying to make her voice sound stronger, "that I'm capable in the bedroom?"
A perfectly carved eyebrow shot up. "Don't you?"
She blushed. "Well, yes, but isn't that because of you?"
His answer was a sharp nod. "Hn. Every man has different ways to go about things. That goes for making love as well." It was an indirect answer of agreement. Kai was never really one to brag, but he knew what he could do. "Don't expect them to do what I can do." He tried to shoot her that arrogant smirk at the implication that her next lover might be of a lesser man than he was, but his mouth seemed to have suffered some sort of cave in.
Hiromi was too distracted to notice, struck with the horrible realization that she couldn't imagine herself making love with another man. She couldn't imagine being as uninhibited and vulnerable as she had been with Kai Hiwatari.
She moaned miserable now at the extent of her idiocy has gotten her.
Why had she allowed herself to have sex with him? She never did anything casually, never plunged headlong into something and thinking to come out unscathed. So, why, why, why had she thought sex would be the exception? When she'd given him her body, she'd been unconsciously giving him other parts of herself, including those he hadn't even asked for, much less want.
She moaned again, this time, slapping head with the palm of her hand.
"Something's wrong." It wasn't a question.
Well, not point lying. "Worse than that,"
"Hiromi." He pressed.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Tell me."
Tell him that she loved him? Like hell! She could just imagine his reaction, the personal hell she'd unleash. First he'd look stunned, well, as stunned as Kai could get, then he'd be horrified—not outwardly of course—before he'd close himself to her completely. He'd revert back to his old ice block, unfeeling self again. There'd be no more talk about extending her stay, no more night outs at the local pub, no more outings with Julia, no more quiet walks around the river, no more ease between them…no more of those flashing half-smiles that made her feel like she was drowning in a ocean of contentment.
And then…the most astonishing thought struck her. Why not tell the truth. She'd always faced thing head-on, how could this be any different? And this would be a perfect way to save herself, before got in too deep. If she told him the truth, it'd be like an amputation. Quick, final, and most importantly, brutal. His reaction would send all those silly daydreams of little crimson-eyes children and happily-ever-after to a swift and absolute end. Never mind the one way trip to the City of no return. After all, Time healed all wounds, right?
It was foolish to think that she might not recover. Just who did she think she was? Pfft.
Without letting herself ponder the matter for a moment longer and allow herself to hesitation, she opened her mouth, heard a voice—her own voice speak, "The most ridiculous thing has happened." She cleared her throat, a small action of regaining some sense of dignity for the foolhardy she was about to commit. "I just realized that—this going to sound so dumb and cheesy I think I just might catch diabetes and this is just completely foolish and, and annoying but—but—" Her throat felt like she'd just swallowed sandpaper. "I know you're going to be shocked. And most probably angry. And cold too. And I guess it's understandable."
He waited patiently.
She looked at him, felt herself waver. "Oh, forget it. It's…its noth—" She stopped herself.
Was she just going to run away? She was a woman of many things. But a coward had never been one of them. And why should she turn her fucked up situation into some cheesy rom-com and hide her deepest feelings under the pretense of protecting her pride? This was real life and she was going to get bitch-slapped and hurt, but that was okay. Along with being a smart woman, she was also tough. She could handle a little scorn.
So, without further ado, she blurt out the most accursed words in human history, "You see, Kai, I think I've fallen in love with you."
See? Tough stuff.
And…he was staring at her like she'd grown an extra eye on her forehead.
"Don't! Say a word! I'm so furious with myself right now, I could just scream! Can you imagine? It's just so unbelievable! You! Of all people!" She snatched up the butter knife lying quietly on the counter. "I should just stab myself in the gut with this! Or—or decide I've fallen in love with a lama! Or Tyson! Or some other silly celebrity. It would be just as irrational." She slammed the butter knife down onto the counter and crossed her arms tightly on her chest just so she could keep herself from falling apart at the seams. She cleared her throat. "Yes, well. Just so you know, I'm not going to put up with this—this! And I'm going to put an immediate stop to it."
Kai opened his mouth, thought better and shut it. His eyes narrowed. "How are you going to do that?"
Her chin shot up stubbornly. "I just did, didn't I?"
Hiromi felt her throat closing up and she was afraid she was going to start crying, and her humiliation quota had been just filled up and she wasn't exactly willing to undergo any more.
The phone rang, and both of them ignored it.
Hiromi felt her head ache and he eyes were starting to well up. She needed to get out of here so she drew herself up and spoke, inwardly proud of herself that her voice came out calm and steady. "I know it's not your fault, but I'm too irrational right now to talk this over with you so—so if you'll excuse me."
She began to move away when the phone rang again, causing her to bump into a barstool and nearly causing it to knock over. Furious, she snatched up at the receiver. "Hello!"
"Omi, its Raul. Grab Kai and get over to the house!"
"What's wrong?"
"Julia just went into labor and Tala's going crazy. I can't handle this madhouse alone! Hurry!"
Hiromi slammed down the receiver, looked at Kai like Hell just turn over. "Your best friend is in some sort of a crisis."
"Why?"
"Looks like pretty soon, he's going to be a proud daddy."
-oOo-
A/n: I said it once; I'll say it once again. I FAIL! Well. What's done is done.
On a second note, there will be a sequel to this, of course. It's too cruel to leave this as is…or is it. –evil laugh- Anyway. Happy New Year everyone!