Diclaimer; One Piece belong to Mr. Oda.

Note : Erratic publishing

Scallywag

Chapter 01

This is what the poster says

"Shall I again regret strange faces lost,

Of which the present memory is forgot,

And but in unseen bulks of vagueness tossed,

Out of the closed sea and black night of Thought?" XX; 35 Sonnets by Fernando Pessoa.

From his point of view, the sun was glaring at him. Burning him with a stare whose purpose was to bore holes in icebergs. It was not pleasant, and way too hot. The heavy poking sensation on his temples hasn't nice either. Rolling to the side crumbling dry grass under his frame, is nose was instantly assaulted by the smell of dirt, wood, salty water, sweat… and was that meat?

Instantly, his stomach growled as if he had not eaten in two weeks. Then again, for all he knew, he didn't eat in the last two weeks. His memories were kind of fuzzy… he felt like he had forgotten something important, but he couldn't put a finger on it. Maybe something do to with socks? No… he had a feeling that he didn't even use socks. Something warm? A blanket? A fire...Oh yes, a bonfire seemed a good idea just now. Even with the stupid burning sun above him.

His stomach roared again. Right. First things first. Where was that meat?

He raised his head, a layer of green grass and a wooden latter greeted him. The heavenly smell was coming from upstairs. A slamming noise made him look up to see a flag fluttering. Ropes shaking to the wind, and a black flag? With a skull and a straw hat? A giggle escaped his throat. He liked the flag, it was funny.

He was in a ship; he didn't really know how or why but dubbed it cool. There was somebody with green hairs snoring not too far from him, but he was just too hungry to inquire about odd stuff. He has a man on a mission!

Meat!

Bouncing far more easily that what a normal human was capable of; he climbed the stair – four steps at a time – and opened a door… only to let a strangled shout when a blond man in tuxedo fell right in front of him.

"Hwnhater…"

He blinked, momentarily distract by the smell close by. But then, the blond man did that strange sound again. Was that supposed to be some sort of word?

"Oy…" He poked him in the head. It did nothing. "Are you alive?"

Grasping one leg, the bouncing man dragged the blond one down one narrow corridor. Opening a door he found his goal. Kitchen! Hauling the blonde on the table, the bouncing man runs straight into the oven. For a moment, he was taken aback by the dark haired guy looking at him from the door oven. He stuck out his tong. The dark haired guy did the same. He pulled a face, and the other one copied it!

Frowning he opened the oven's door. A big and juicy roasted chicken was waiting for him. Snatching the plate, he closed the door. And the dark haired guy came back. And he too had a roasted chicken! Realization startled the man, chuckling he smiled at the dark haired guy.

"Oh… I get it! That's me!"

And for sure the reflection smiled at him.

While munching a piece of meat, he jogged back to the man lying on the table and rammed a chicken leg down the sickly looking blond throat. It didn't work.

"Oy, you have to chew." Grapping the inactive jaw, he tries to recreate the process, without much success. A mixture of drool and mashed chicken were now all over the blond man's chin.

"You're sick, you have to eat meat!"

"Omnhjihd…"

"Meat!"

"Hwnhater…"

"Swallows!"

He didn't see the skin of the blond man turning red, or the body tensing, or even the temple inflating like a balloon. So he was slightly caught off guard when the kick hit his chest, projecting him again the far wall.

"I said… I need water you shitty moron…!"

For answer, the blond man had a laugh.

"I knew it! Meat awoke you!"

The blond try to stay up, afraid of whatever this dark haired guy would do. What kind of room was he in? None the less he recognized a sink next to some strange white, flat and round contraception in ceramic that appeared to be drying. With efforts, keeping an eye on the crazy idiot, the blond opened the sink's cold water tap, to drink greedily. Rising again, coat, and sleeves damp the blond man, tugged his tie and frowned. An appalling realization had crossed his brain.

"Where are we? Who are you?" Then he blinked when a piece of meat just fell from the crazy moron wide opened mouth. Ew! Did he need to be that degusting? The dark haired man started to swing a piece chicken, with an impression of wonder.

"I… I don't know… who I… am?" Then blinking, the idiot shrugged, munching again. "Oh, maybe I just forgot..."

"You don't know who you are? You forgot?" The blond blinked.

"Well, yeah… so… who are you?" Asked the dark haired one pointing a chicken wing at the troubled blond.

"I…" Shocked the blond eyed the other man in panic. "I… I don't know!"

"Oh, I know you're Black Leg Sanji!"

"Why asking if you know me?"

"Well, that is what the poster says!"

"Poster…?" In the wall, facing the table, next to the door, was a small collection of poster. Blood let the face of the blond man when is mind clicked audibly. These were not mere posters. They were wanted posters. Frantically, he searched for this Black Leg Sanji finding quite easily a blond man with a curly eyebrow. He blinked, and then paled further. He was that ugly?

"Look! My name is Luffy… and I'm more ex…ewpan… espansive than you!"

Blinking again Sanji was extracted from his increasing bad mood, to see an idiot and poster grinning at him. Minus the straw hat, they were identical. So it's meant that these posters were faithful representation… God! He really was ugly!

"Is not that you're more expensive you shitty moron! We're criminals! That's wanted posters! And I'm a monster!"

Luffy – that was the name below his photo – tilted his head so as to observe the outburst of the newly named Sanji in another angle. But the screaming and turmoil didn't seem to have more senses even then. And Luffy was growing bored.

"I think I recognize this guy! He was snoring outside!"

That information didn't appease Sanji. Not at all.

"You mean there are other people able to see this disgrace?" He asked pointing his two hands to his face to stress the importance of his infamy.

"Are… you talking about your curly eyebrow?" Asked Luffy in confusion.

"OH MY GOD!" Shouted Sanji realizing something. "YOU CAN SEE ME TOO!"

His tongue was like a piece of dry wood, moving with difficulty against the pasty walls of his mouth. He was against a tree… no a mast, there a sail folded above him. A ship. But what about the grass under him? His mind jolted; something awoke him. A yell?

He jumped, startled, when three sticks slipped from his grasp. Sticks? … Why did he have three sticks with him? And strange ornamented sticks at that!

"Oh! He's not sleeping anymore!"

He looked up and frowned.

On the deck above him, where a dark haired midget, and a man whose face was dissimulated by a paper bag. The midget had a red sleeveless vest and blue short, various papers in his hands and the grin stamped on his face was a complete opposite of the somber demeanor of the Head-bag-man in a tuxedo.

"What's his problem?"He asked, eyeing the second one suspiciously.

The midget put is pinky finger in his nose not very concerned by the black cloud surrounding the hunched Head-bag-man.

"He didn't like his face. Hey, did you forget your name too?"

He looked at him annoyed.

"What are you talking about, midget? I'm…" The man blinked. His name escaped him. He couldn't even remember someone who could tell him who he was. "I'm… I'm someone, right?"

"I'm Luffy, this is Sanji!"The midget jumped in front of him, brandishing a paper. "And that's you! Zoro!" Climbing down the stairs at a more moderate pace, Sanji was looking around him warily, clamping his wanted poster against his chest. His grip tightening on the railing each time the ship cracked. "Look! You're him! Or he is you… or you're the same… well… he looks like you!"

Wrote in bold character was his name; Roronoa Zoro. Had he just escaped an explosion? He had wounds in that photo! And the background was kind of funny, like battleground funny. What he didn't understand was why the photo was on a wanted poster. And with a 120 million bounty no less!

"I… have green hair?"

The midget laughed, pointing an offending finger in his face.

"Ha ha! You don't even know what you look like!"

"What? Because I suppose you do?"

"Of course! I looked at my reflection a while ago…"

"So you didn't know!"

Luffy was laughing at the red faced Zoro, when another door opened to reveal a tall woman with dark hair and black clothes. She studied the group in front of her, seeming willing to understand what her eyes were portraying. She minded the fact that three men were observing her like hawks, but her priority was to make sense of this mess. She was on a ship. She knew that much. Eyes' climbing the mast, a flag was discovered. A Jolly Roger. The skull had a straw hat. Peculiar.

"We really are pirates!"Said one of them, the Head-bag one – Sanji and Zoro hadn't seen Le pirate flag until the woman stared at it. They didn't think to look… everything was happening so fast!

"Hold on!" Said one of the men sitting on the floor with various papers in hand. He had black hair, and is tongue stuck out between is lips, in concentration. Then with a victorious shout, he looked at her.

"Hello Robin, I'm Luffy!" Seeing her face he added; "Don't worry we didn't had names before!"

She awoke in a library, one that she has never seen before… but then again, she wasn't able to remember any other library. Ever. Being incapable of remembering her name, or age, or why she was on a ship was a troubling issue. And that young man wasn't making any sense. Nor was the Head-bag-man clenching abashed some kind of paper, or the green haired man who was discarding three swords recklessly against the mast.

"Did you just make out a name for me?"

Robin walked in the dark haired young man's direction carefully, but Luffy was happy enough sitting in the grass, and the other men were in their own little world.

"No! You have a wanted poster!" He seemed way too happy to inform someone that they were a searched criminal.

"… Interesting." Said simply Robin, taking the wanted poster and examining it herself. She had watched her reflection in a window so wasn't very surprised by her physical appearance. But troubled to see some kind of destruction in the background. Her name was…. Nico Robin, and was worth eighty millions. She was a pirate? So… These men were from her crew? What happened to them? "Can I see the rest, Luffy-san?"

"Yeah! Shi shi shi ! Look! I'm the most expensive!"

Was it possible for a pirate to be so childish? Sanji, who had stopped midway at Robin appearance, resumed to the deck only to collapse on the last step when a horrific scream went through the ship. Luffy and Zoro jumped at the same time, each of them completely lost. The now called Robin stayed immobile, seated next to Luffy, frowning all the while.

Sounds of racing were soon heard, and a door on the deck floor flew open…!

"… Raccoon?"

"That a raccoon!"

"It's our pet!" Screamed an over excited Luffy. "Oy! Tony Tony Chopper! Come here boy!"

Unfortunately, the poor pet didn't seem very upbeat by the idea. In fact, the raccoon like creature screamed again, bypassing Luffy before climbing the mast with an amazing speed leaving them totally astonished. Zoro scratched his head puzzled. Luffy pouted, but the disappointment dissipates immediately when a second creature appeared on the deck.

Now they knew why the raccoon was so frightened.

There was a tall individual with an impressive Afro hair style, top hat, cane, a black coat, and stylish red pants. But his most striking feature was his bones. There were visible… That is to say, he didn't have flesh. And he was walking.

"THAT'S…" Luffy looked at the posters identifying the newcomer thanks to spectacular haircut. "BROOK!" Shouted Luffy with stars in the eyes. "AWESOME!"

"Yo ho ho… I'm Brook, you say? Dear me, for a while there a thought I had lost myself…And you are?"

"Monkey D. Luffy… well, that's what the poster said…"

"Poster?"

"YOU'RE A FREAKING SKELETON!" Screamed Sanji and Zoro unable to restrain anymore.

"A…what…?" Started Brook before looking down at his hands. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M A SKELETON!"

Luffy's laughter filled the deck while four lost people try do comes in grip with reality.

They didn't succeed.

And the raccoon screamed again. Running down the mast this time. This time, Luffy seized the terrified animal petting him with what sounded like a soothing voice.

"Chopper! Be a good boy! Chopper! Do you want a bone?"

The raccoon was still thrashing like mad.

Zoro gasped, his gaze fixed on something above them. The last one to look up, was Robin too engrossed in the wanted poster, but once she has seen it, she was incapable of looking away; this newcomer would give Brook a run for his money in the weirdness department.

A… man – or something similar to a man – with blue hair, only wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, and a black Speedo was climbing down the rope. He had huge arms. Enormous.

"That's Franky! ...HE'S A ROBOT?" Shouted Luffy stars in his eyes. "That's so cool!"

Robin raised an eyebrow, turning her eyes to the wanted poster in her hand searching for this Franky. Ah, that's why she didn't notice. The only thing visible on Franky's poster was his head.

"Oy, people and… skeleton… could someone tell me… what the heck is going on?"

Luffy who seemed to have the answers until now was still giggling and rotating around Franky dubious frame, so Zoro cleared his throat resumed the situation.

"… We are a bunch of pirate in the middle of nowhere, with no memories, and no ideas of what is happening. "The green haired then added, like an afterthought; "And if this grinning midget knows your name is because you have a wanted poster."

"I'm… a criminal…?" Asked Franky and he didn't seem to know what to do with that information, and then the first part of the sentence entered his man. "You don't have memories too?"

"Welcome on board…" Sighted a depressed looking man with a paper bag on his head.

"But why? How? Where are we?"

"Your guess is good as ours." Said the skeleton. "I'm Brook by the way, and apparently, I'm also dead." Brook was in for a funk since the discovery of his lack of flesh. No one knew how to breach the subject. No one had even any ideas of how he could move. There was more pressing matters; like recovering their identities

"… Deepest sympathy for your loss…?"Franky turned his gaze to Zoro who seemed to be the less affected by the events. "We're only six?"

"I don't know, I awoke a little while ago." Zoro looked around, massaging his neck, noting that Franky didn't include the pet in the count. Now that Franky had said it, he could tell that the crew as rather small. His eyes fell on the only woman present. "Hey, ah, Robin… right?"

"Do you need something, Zoro-san?"

"Yeah, can you tell from theses if there is someone still missing?" He asked knowing that probably it was very plausible that if someone awoke in a pirate ship, he will most probably try to hide, or escape.

"If everyone in the crew as a bounty, and if the one, that Sanji-san have is his…" Sanji clushed more forcefully his wanted poster, before folding it into his pocket. "… then we're missing two." Said Robin lifting two posters. "Sokeking and Nami." Then she added looking curious, and another expression that Zoro could not place. Was that mischief? "I also found out who is the captain" At that comments everyone eye bulged when Robin sorted out a poster for them to see. "It was simple really… the flag has a straw hat, and that photo too has one. Also, his bounty is by far the highest… which seems to indicate that Luffy-san is the most dangerous man on this ship."

Startled everyone looked up at the flag, before looking down at Luffy who merely blinked a hand on his head, no doubt searching for a straw hat that was not there. Then shrugging and crossing his arms said;

"So? ... What's a pirate captain by the way?" And the crew has hard pressed to tell if his ignorance was due do their condition, or his childlike personality.

Blankly, Zoro – who wasn't stunned into oblivion – answered;

"The captain is the leader of a pirate crew."

"Oh… ok!" Luffy started playing with Chopper's antlers – wait! Raccoons had antlers? – And Zoro permitted himself to relax. "But… what's a pirate?"

Zoro grunted, slapping his forehead.

We're criminals." Said an agitated Franky. "Bandits of the sea! We're bad people!"

"Huh? Even me?" Luffy sounded very distraught by that revelation. Robin chuckled, and Luffy whined at her. "What's funny?"

"Nothing." Stated Robin. "I just found the facts… interesting."

No kidding! Though the rest of them. They looked again and still had troubles believing it. Luffy was way too childlike to be a dangerous captain pirate! But how to explain the flag, or the wanted poster? Not mentioning that he actually didn't know what a pirate was! Or maybe he forgot it like he forgot his identity…

And then, they heard a splash.

Looking over the rallying, lazily mind you, Zoro sighed. He was right about his theory of others amnesic member trying to escape.

"One of your crew mates is escaping captain."

Luffy looked at Zoro blankly. The realization only came after the pronounced look given by most of the crew. Trying to look serious, overbearing and cool – the other realized that he seemed more constipate than anything else, no doubt trying to hard – Luffy finally asked;

"Which one?"

"He has a long nose."

"Oh! That is probably Sokeking!" Said Luffy coming over, all seriousness disappearing instantly. "Or maybe not, he doesn't have the mask…"

"So, who is this?"

"No idea." Said Luffy shrugging. "OY! LONG-NOSE-GUY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"If he is not included in our wanted posters, his probably an outsider, he may know what happened to us captain." Said Robin joining them.

Luffy laughed in delight, and trusted Chopper in Robin's arms.

"Finally! Something to do! LONG-NOSE I'M COMING!" And the recently revealed Straw-Hat crew's captain jumped ship.

The first sign that something had gone wrong were the bubbles. Then the absence of bubbles. Followed by the fact that a minute was long gone and there were still no signs of the young man.

"Don't tell me…" Started a Zoro stunned, a foot already on the railing.

"The moron doesn't know how to swim!" Finished Franky, jumping at the same time.

\\

"Is that shitty captain dying?" Asked Sanji leaning over the groaning Luffy. For some reason, Luffy was delirious saying strange thing like the water had stolen his strength. Zoro wringing is shirt was trying to explain – albeit irritated – that he had drowned, not because of the water, but because he didn't know how to swim.

"Aye buddy!" Said Franky when a drenched Long-nose-guy was seated on the bench mast. "It may be strange, but even if we're pirates, we're your friend, look!"

After closer inspection, they managed to find various similarities between Sokeking and the drenched runaway. Mostly, his prominent nose. The only one resisting the theory was Luffy, for whatever reason.

"I'm a pirate!" The idea seemed horrifying for the poor guy. That or because this crew was the most crazy bunch ever seen. They had a skeleton for God's sake!

"We better start searching the other one, before she decides to jump ship too." Said Zoro.

"And try to find some evidence of what's happening." Added Sanji.

Dispersing on the ship, Zoro took the still soaked Long-nose-guy (they didn't call him Sokeking because Luffy refuse to acknowledge him as such), saying that they had to find dry clothes.

It took them roughly two hours to explore the ship; the aquarium on the first floor amazed them, the bathroom too. They found a room with a proclaiming to be the Usopp Factory, but no one on board had that name, which seemed strange. They found two rooms and the count of beds confirmed that the crew was consisted only by those on the wanted poster. Below the deck, they found different rooms with a peculiar round arrangement. And there were three tangerines trees on the upper deck!

"Found anything?" Asked Sanji sitting on the bench surrounding the foremast.

"Nothing," Sighed Franky. "No signs of combat anywhere. Nothing seemed out of place! But this ship is great!"

"Yes." Said Robin pondering. "I had expected to find a torture chamber or prisoners… I didn't even found a cell."

"You were expecting what?" Shouted the now dry Long-nose-guy. "What were you searching for?"

"Well, we're pirates." Rationalized Brook.

"Don't worry Long-nose!" Said Luffy jumps next to Robin, to reach for Chopper who at thankfully calmed down. "We're good pirates!"

No one dignified that with a reply. What kind of good pirate had a four hundred million bounty on his head?

"And we're still missing a crew mate named Nami." Said Robin.

"And Sokeking!" Remarked Luffy, but again he was ignored.

"So we have nothing?" Zoro exasperated, sprawled himself next to Sanji. Their situation was worsening.

"Well, I may have found the ship's logbook on the girl room." Reveled Robin shows them a tick blue book.

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Update 08-11-2012: correcting errors.