I gave a quick yawn and woke up. Getting out of bed and getting changed into a Zero Suit, I noticed a small note I'd scribbled on the calendar. Looking closely, I saw my own unmistakable scratchy handwriting, and it said 'Valentine's Day' next to a doodle of a sad face. I sighed as I realised my day wouldn't be a good one.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against couples, and I've certainly had a few cards before, but every Valentine's Day since I came to Smash Mansion has been a disaster. The first year I was here, there were only 11 other contestants in Smash Mansion, and they were all male, apart from Jigglypuff, and although the first few minutes were nice, being the centre of attention as the only woman, it soon turned bitter when Captain Falcon and Fox got into a fight because of it. The year after was even worse, as Donkey Kong thought it would be nice to play a practical joke on me, sending me a letter from an 'anonymous' date. I ignored it, but, lo and behold, when I went to bed, 'someone' had put a cardboard cut-out of Link in my room. To make matters worse, this somehow gave Zelda the impression that I fancied Link (No offense to him, but he's more of a friend) and as Link's girlfriend, she had a grudge against me for ages.
Now, this year, there were even more people attending. Pit, Snake, Sonic, Diddy Kong, King Dedede, Lucas, lots of people who would once again find a way to make my Valentine's Day miserable. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for the worst and stepped out of the room.
I was lucky. Nothing bad happened, because nobody else was there. Hearing voices downstairs, I figured that was where everyone was. Walking down and entering the hall, I was greeted by the sight of every other Smasher, reading the letters that had been sent to them. Link and Zelda were reading the cards they'd sent to each other and blushing, as were Mario and Peach, while most Smashers were reading letters that were sent to them from their homelands. Luigi had a card from Daisy, whilst Donkey Kong had one from Candy Kong, and Diddy Kong had Dixie's. Even Lucas and Olimar had a card from their homelands, although Olimar's card was made by a group of Pikmin who didn't know what Valentine's Day was. Ness didn't have a card, but he was amusing himself by playing with his yoyo.
There were a few cards waiting for me, but nothing special. One was from Snake, which was romantic, apart from the last line, 'This card will self-destruct in 10 seconds.' I assumed it was a joke until it started spewing smoke, but I quickly put it under the sofa and pretended it wasn't there. Snake himself had a card from Mei Ling, while Captain Falcon had one from Jody Summer. Sonic had received one too, and was bragging about it loudly.
"Woo hoo, look at the size of this card Amy Rose sent me! It's bigger than all your cards put together!"
Nobody seemed to be listening to the hedgehog, as everyone was too busy reading their own cards. Sonic gave a quick scowl and tried to make entertainment a different way.
"Hey Ness, where's your card?"
Ness hadn't seemed to care that much about not receiving a card, but it was still embarrassing when it was brought to everyone's attention.
"Um… I didn't get one this year."
Some Smashers gave Ness a pitying smile, while Sonic found Ness' lack of a valentine amusing. With a small chuckle, he replied,
"Never mind, you still have your dog, don't you? Maybe he can be your valentine!"
Ness frowned, but looked more hurt than angry. The Smashers were now listening to Sonic's conversation, and most of them, including me, were getting annoyed with his attack on Ness.
"Or if you're really down on your luck, you could always ask Jigglypuff for a date!"
Ness opened his mouth to make a comeback, but Jigglypuff was quicker.
"For your information Sonic, I already have a card from Wigglytuff back in Kanto." Jigglypuff responded.
"Hey, don't tell me, tell Ness, you're breaking his heart!" Sonic said with another fit of giggles. Nearly all of the Smashers were frowning at Sonic now, but the hedgehog was too busy laughing to care.
"Man, you're hopeless with girls Ness. Hey, that could be your new nickname, 'Hopelessness'!" Sonic choked out through more laughs.
Looking back, I can't say exactly what made me do it, but I just felt like I had to do something. I don't know which was stronger, my pity for Ness or my anger at Sonic, but before either of them could say anything, I walked over to Ness quickly, and asked him a quick question.
"Ness, I don't have a valentine today, and neither do you, so… will you be my valentine?"
Ness' mouth opened in amazement as he eventually whispered, 'Yes', and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sonic with his mouth open and eyebrows raised. I gave a small smile. This would shut him up.
As I said, "Good. Happy Valentine's Day," and went to sit back down, I could feel the stares from the other Smashers. Seeing some of their faces, I could see that some of them were proud of what I'd done to make Ness feel better, while others were just amazed. Unfortunately, Sonic still couldn't keep his mouth shut for long.
"Wait a second, you can't just say that you're valentines! You have to be an item, or go on a date or something!"
Thinking quickly, and desperate not to make Ness feel worse after Sonic's relentless teasing of him, I replied,
"Ok. Ness, the restaurant by the cinema a few streets away, pick me up at seven, ok?"
The few Smashers who had been proud of me were now looking amazed at how far I was willing to go to stop Sonic from bullying Ness any more. Ness slowly replied with a shaky yes, and I just said, "Great, I can't wait," then left to do some training.
And so, when seven o'clock rolled around, instead of relaxing in the hall with the other Smashers, I was preparing for my 'date' with the help of Peach and Zelda, who appeared to have finally forgiven me for the Link-cardboard-cut-out fiasco.
"I'm serious Samus, this is a really nice thing you're doing for him, I'm proud of you. Aren't you scared something could go wrong though?" Peach asked me.
"Nah, Ness is a smart kid, he knows I'm doing this to stop Sonic from embarrassing him. We'll just go out, have a meal, and come back. What can go wrong?"
I soon found out, as there was a small knock at my door. I had decided just to wear a normal shirt and jeans, but when I opened the door, my mouth dropped. Ness was standing there in a tuxedo which nobody had ever seen him wearing before, with a face as red as the roses he was holding nervously in his hand. I quickly stopped myself from looking surprised, as I didn't want to embarrass the poor kid, and I took the roses with a smile and said "Aw, thanks," before leaving the room with him, hearing Zelda and Peach giggling back in my room.
At first, things weren't going too badly, until we passed Sonic on the way out. He burst out laughing at Ness' tuxedo, so to comfort him, I started to hold his hand as we walked past Sonic. It worked, kind of; Sonic stopped laughing, but when we were completely past him, Ness didn't let go of my hand, so I reluctantly kept holding his hand as we walked out of the door. As we stepped out of the door of Smash Mansion, I could even hear Master Hand laughing at us. I shuddered and wondered how long people would be teasing me about this, but I forced myself to stop. I was doing this to make Ness feel better, not for myself.
Arriving at the restaurant, Ness pulled out my seat for me. I blushed and thanked him, but I was starting to think that he was taking this 'date' too seriously. I mean, he knew that I was only doing it to save him from embarrassment. Right?
Apparently not. As the waiter approached us and asked what we were having, Ness blushed even more and asked for a salad, which I knew he hated. I was about to ask for the meatfest, but I didn't want to make Ness spend an evening wishing he was eating my meal, so I politely asked for the soup and salad too. The first problem of the evening came when the waiter asked us what drinks we would be having. Ness was happy with some water, while I asked for a glass of wine. The waiter quietly leaned towards me and whispered to me the most insulting thing I've ever heard in my life.
"Are you sure it's wise to be drinking in front of your son?"
I was furious that the waiter would say such a thing to me! I know I looked older than Ness, but I was barely in my twenties, and this man was assuming I had a child.
"He isn't my son!" I said through gritted teeth, accidentally saying it loudly enough for Ness to hear.
"Oh, my sincere apologies madam. Are you babysitting?"
"No!"
"Never mind," Ness interrupted, "she's… my date."
Ness was blushing and smiling at the idea of calling me his date, but it didn't do much for the waiter. Looking from me to Ness a few times, he chuckled as he walked away, muttering loudly, "Now I've seen everything!"
Ness was not an expert at making conversation, so I tried to strike up some talking.
"So Ness… how are you feeling?"
Ness was starting to sweat as he once again grew nervous, before stuttering, "A bit nervous…"
"Don't worry, you don't have to be. It's only me."
"Yeah, I guess…"
Ness was still sweating and looking nervous, so I tried to calm him down.
"Hey, you don't have to be so nervous, it's not like it's your first date or anything."
I let the expression on Ness' face make me realise that it was his first date. This time, it took me slightly longer than last time to stop my eyes from widening as I realised that I was Ness' first date. I was beginning to regret this. If only I hadn't stepped in… I could be back at Smash Mansion right now, lying on a couch, reading a book or watching TV. Instead, I was giving a 13 year old boy his first date on Valentine's Day.
As the waiter returned with my soup, he was still laughing at the sight of us. Putting my soup down shakily, he almost spilt some because he was laughing so much. Scowling at him, I went back to trying to make conversation.
"So Ness, what did you do today?"
"Oh, I trained a bit. I needed to, I was put up against Mario earlier."
"Oh? How did it go?"
Ness smiled. "I won."
"Oh, well done, that's pretty impressive."
Ness blushed. "Thanks."
Unfortunately, this was the moment that the waiter had returned to our table, and he couldn't contain his laughter at my situation any more. Going into hysterics, he tripped on the carpet and accidentally sent a shower of salad heading straight at me. I tried to duck, but couldn't manage it in time, and was sprayed in the face by a bed of cabbage and tomato, which just made the waiter laugh longer.
"Oh… madam… I'm sorry… I…" the waiter managed to stutter out between laughs, but I had had enough. Storming out of the restaurant, Ness chased after me, asking if I was ok, but I was just too angry.
"Samus, please calm down, I know this date isn't going well, but-"
"Date?" I snapped, interrupting him. "This isn't a date, this is the world's worst pity idea!"
Ness was taken aback, but tried to calm me down, but I knew by now that nothing could.
"…But you asked me here…"
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you a complete and utter idiot?" I scoffed at him. "I only asked you here because I felt sorry for you, being picked on by Sonic for being all alone on Valentine's Day! Now I can see why you didn't have a valentine!"
As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt guilty. I knew that this evening hadn't gone well, but it was hardly Ness' fault. However, as I opened my mouth to apologise, I saw a single tear running down Ness' face before he turned and ran in the opposite direction.
The Smashers were never going to forgive me if I lost him, or if he arrived back at Smash Mansion before me, crying, so I began to chase after him. He was a lot faster than he looked, and as I turned a few corners, he had already disappeared. Sighing at myself, I approached a nearby group of men and asked them if they'd seen a young boy in a tuxedo running past.
"No I haven't, but why are you looking for one? Shouldn't a pretty girl like you be snuggling up with a man for Valentine's Day?" asked one of the men, raising his eyebrows.
I groaned and turned away, only to feel one of them slapping my backside. Turning around angrily, I demanded to know which one of them did it, only to have one of the more obviously drunk men raising his hand.
"You will apologise to me this second, or else!" I threatened him, but he didn't seem to care.
"Don't worry hothead, I like them feisty." Crooned one man, grabbing and holding my arms.
"Let go of me, before you regret it." I ordered, preparing a kick, but I felt another man grabbing my legs. With no room to move, I was powerless as one of the other drunkards leaned forwards to try and kiss me. I turned my head, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Grimacing, I prepared myself for the worst and tried to think of how to escape, before a little boy's voice saying two little words told me that I didn't have to.
"PK Thunder!" commanded Ness as a spark of electricity jolted the man into dropping me. I quickly tried to run, but found myself tripped up by another one of the men.
"PK Fire!" screamed Ness, as two of the men's clothes were set alight and it distracted them enough to let me grab Ness and escape. After running a few blocks away from them, I put Ness down and started to thank him for returning in the nick of time.
"Thanks Ness, you really saved me there."
"No problem, and thank you too… I know that you didn't really want this whole valentine thing, but you still did it, just to try and cheer me up. So thanks."
"You're welcome… and I'm sorry for blaming the evening on you, it wasn't your fault. This whole thing has been a disaster, but I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen."
Beginning to walk back to Smash Mansion with Ness, I offered him my hand again. He smiled and took it, as we walked back together. Just before we entered the front door, I stopped Ness and whispered to him, "Sonic's probably in there, waiting to laugh at us, so just play along, ok? After all, I don't want your 'first date' to be a total wreck."
Ness smiled at me as I opened the door and led us back inside. Just as I predicted, Sonic was sitting on the stairs with a huge grin. A few others were sitting around, waiting for me and Ness to return, so as soon as I walked through the door, I started laughing slightly, before turning to Ness and saying to him, "Oh, Ness, you tell the best stories."
Ness played along and nodded, so I decided to try and end his evening with a good bit. Leaning down, I kissed him on the lips for a second, before uttering, "Thanks for a fun night," and walking back to my room, ignoring the shocked faces of the Smashers. I could just hear Ness whispering to me,
"Thanks Samus."
Walking back to my room, Zelda and Peach immediately wanted to hear the details of the date, but I soon realised how tired I was and ordered them out of the room.
Checking my calendar before I went to bed, I saw that another Valentine's Day had come to an end. Looking back on it, not just the bad bits, like how I was going to be teased by Sonic, how I was harassed by drunkards, and how I was pelted by salad, but the overall day.
Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all.