Choices. Yes, making a choice is the most difficult thing I have ever done. Yet, the most heart breaking thing that I have done is to leave someone for that choice. She begged me to stay, I almost gave in but how could I give up on my dreams. Since I was a little kid, I wanted this. It's funny how your memory works, I don't know about yours but all I can remember are flashbacks. Video clips of random moments popping in my head. Yes, I remember her face. Oh! How stunning she was! Well I am an atheist but if there is a God, if he is the almighty creator, then he never made anything more beautiful than her. But you know what's scary? Her face is becoming blurred as the time goes on. I have seen the world now, I have travelled the seven continents. It has been an exciting phase of my life, the one that I will regret as well. To live my dream of seeing the world, I gave up a piece of my heart. And I need it back, otherwise I am going to die with a broken heart.
I need to find her. We live in the age of internet and social networking sites, but she is nowhere to be found or seen. Sometimes I am haunted by strange thoughts, that something happened to her. Is she married or engaged? Or worse is she dead? I remember my mother telling me that if you lose out on one opportunity, there is another waiting for you. But what if you don't want to settle for another one? I want Callie. Spending a life time with her is the only opportunity I want.
Dreams. My life revolved around them. I was ambitious, still am. But when the moon comes up, the night nestles in, you need someone's arms to crawl into. The sheets are too cold. The room empty. Sleep is hard to come by, I can't help but think what if I chose her? I am happy, I got what I wanted. Yet, happiness is only real when shared. And a tear escapes my eyes. The warmth of love is not present, in the shiny new coat of your dreams. You will find it only in your grandmother's homemade sweater.
All day long I roam the streets of some new town, some new country. I have met many wonderful souls, made many friends and now still I am surrounded with people. However, in the swarm of these new faces, I long to see that one face. Her tanned skin, piercing brown eyes and that smile which can make a million hearts flutter.
So yes I am going back to where I belong. I, Arizona Robbins need to find the love of my life. And I am in Seattle, the place where I saw her last, the place where I last made love with someone, the place which haunts me on those lonely night. Callie Torres, wherever you are I need to find you, love you and breathe my last with you.
"When the truth is, I miss you
Yeah the truth is, that I miss you, so
A warning sign
You came back to haunt me and I realized
That you were an island and I passed you by
And you were an island to discover"
The lyrics are from the song "Warning sign" by Coldplay