A/N: A series of letters between Dudley Dursley and his cousin Harry Potter, spanning the timeline of Deathly Hallows. After all, it's accepted canon that Harry and Dudley remain on friendly terms after the war, and they bring their children to visit each other. I'd just like to imagine that they became a little closer than "On Christmas Card-Terms" as JK says.

So how did this closer relationship happen? Via an undetermined amount of letters that you will now begin reading. Off you go now :]

DISCLAIMER: I own absolutely NOTHING. The lovely Jo Rowling and Warner Brothers own EVERYTHING, including my soul. I'm just playing with her beautiful creations for a while.

Note: These letters will not be dated, as I don't feel like figuring all that out. But the first one is sent right after Bill and Fleur's wedding, so just follow the major events from there.

Enjoy 3

XXXXXX

Harry,

So, I don't think I can really say how awkward this letter is to write; but I'm gonna try my hardest. I mean, first of all, I don't even know if it's gonna get to you. That funny little man with the top hat; Doogle, or Duggle, yah, he said if I just wrote your name on the envelope it would get to you if I gave it to an owl. Really? They're just birds. But, I guess it must be true, as you've had that huge white one for all these years. Did you know that sometimes when you were out during the summer and it (he? she?) flew back into your room and you were gone, it would come into my window looking for you? I don't know why it thought you might be there; it scared the shite out of me the first time it happened, but then I got used to it. You can bet I tried to shoo it out, but I swear it just looked at me like I was an idiot and sat on my dresser, waiting for you to come in the back door. It was really beautiful, your owl, I'll say that. I've always liked birds; remember that parrot I traded for a mountain bike when we were 10? I regret that a lot; that bird could say so many swears!

But, that's not what I'm writing about. I kind of wanted to find out how you were doing. I know we left things at a kind of awkward point, but I've been speaking to the people who come to check on us, and they've pretty much explained what's going on.

Harry, I know I've been a rubbish cousin over the years, and I know we'll probably never get along like some siblings or relatives, but I wanted to apologize for some of the things I've done. If I'd known about some of the stuff that was happening in your life, I think that even I would have backed off, right little bastard that I was when we were younger.

Mum's been weird lately. She's been very quiet ever since we left Privet Drive. Remember when she seemed like she was going to say something just before we left? I think she regrets closing her mouth at the last second there. I have no idea what she was going to say, but I think it might have been about your mother. I know they didn't have a good relationship; I can understand my mum's point of view. I can admit it after all these years; I'm rather jealous of what you can do. Being around all of your people lately has shown me what you all can do, and it still scares me a lot, but it's kind of awesome at times. That girl who can change her appearance, Tonks, she's been round a lot to check on us, and I have to say, it's bloody amazing what she can do. And I've been talking to your mate Ron's father, the man who set my tongue right again when those twins tricked me into eating those sweets. He's rather strange, isn't he? Always asking questions about the simplest things, like toasters and egg beaters. Rather amusing, actually. And he's very nice. Seems like he's trying to make up for what his brats did when we were 14.

In reality, I don't hold it against him. Or them, even. Like I said, I've been thinking a lot about how I used to treat you, and now that I know what you've been dealing with these past 6 or 7 years, I feel really bad about some of the shite I've pulled. Ever since you saved me from those Dementors (is that how you spell it?), I've started to realize that this stuff is real. Like, really, real. I hear that name all the time; Voldemort. I see how all these people in the "Order of the Phoenix" shudder when they say his name. They also talk about that Headmaster bloke, the one who made our brandy glasses bonk us on the head last year. But they seem to talk about him more like 'What would Dumbledore do?' than 'What is Dumbledore doing?'. Did something happen to him?

That big black man was over last week for our weekly check in (one or two people come over each week to see how we're doing and see if you've contacted us. I keep telling them that you wouldn't contact us in a million years, so finally Mr. Duggle/Doogle told me I should try contacting you.). The man, Kinglsey, said that you and your two mates, the redhead and the girl, had disappeared, and that no one could find you. When mum heard that she kind of shuddered and made a little noise like a cat being squished. Dad was at work, as it was a Saturday (he's working as a school janitor, at the same school where mum's working as a substitute teacher. Did you know she had a teaching degree in World History? I didn't.) Dad seems to not care at all about what happens to you, like always. He and Mum are kind of growing apart. I don't know why I never noticed it before, but they really aren't that close anyway. I don't think it's your fault though, I just think mum is finally realizing what she's missed all these years of just staying home to take care of you and me. She seems to really like teaching; she comes home with a smile on every day. Well, as much of a smile as she ever really makes these days.

Harry, I really think she does love you; you are her sister's son after all. She told me some stories about her and Aunt Lily's childhood the other day, and showed me some pictures that I've never seen. They were smiling, and playing together, just like siblings do. She also had some pictures that moved, like the ones you had in your room at Privet Drive. That nearly gave me a heart attack; mum with wizard pictures? What next? She's actually a witch and this is all some big huge mistake?

Well, after she showed me the pictures, which were of her, Aunt Lily, and this boy who must have been from the neighborhood, she went to her room, and I could hear her crying. She was fine when dad came home, and we didn't tell him anything.

They told me I probably shouldn't tell you where we're living, just in case the bird gets lost (who'd think that I'd ever write a sentence like that?) It's a mostly wizarding village, they tell me. I didn't know that you're lot even had separate villages! I don't know exactly where we are, because they blindfolded us once we got into the car; dad had a fit about that, that's for sure. I do know that the kids in the village seem to think I'm a wizard. One girl asked whether I was homeschooled, because she hadn't ever seen me at Hogwarts. Her name is Hannah Abbot, I think. I wonder if you know here; she's about our age. I rather think she fancies me. The old Dursley charm, that is; works on witches and Muggles alike.

Good lord, I'm starting to sound like one of you guys. Saying witches, wizards, Hogwarts, Muggle. I'm learning the bleeding lingo. Oh well, at least I can see that it's not just some weird thing with my family; there are other people like you. And you know what? They're not all that bad. I've got to go now; homework to do. I hope this letter finds you well.

Sincerely,

Your Cousin,

Dudley.

XXXXX

A/N: So, how did you like these revelations and confessions? Is Dudley too OOC for your liking?

Personally, I'd like to think that his father's oppressive personality shaped his mother's dislike for her nephew, and made Dudley want to impress his father. And the easiest way to impress Vernon was to attack Harry.

How will Harry respond to this? How will things go from here?

Will Dudley and Hannah Abbot get it on?

You may never know, because I am withholding further chapters until I get some REVIEWS!

I'm evil, I know. But I need to know how this is going to be received before I go any further, because I take my reader's opinions very much into consideration when I write!

So, READ AND REVIEW!

Love,

Knox