I wanted to write something more humorous for this pairing, which is pretty hard to do without losing so much of their Sasha/Payson-ness. Given the nature of this pairing, nobody ever seems to write a romantic comedy. Sadly, this attempt lacks much in substance and is of the drabble variety. I might try to turn it into a full story but I'm not sure I'd be very good at writing it as I've never been to America so wouldn't know where to start in the slightest.

Disclaimer: I do not own MIOBI . . . or Airstream.

Summary: "So good in fact we're planning on eloping. I will then move into the airstream, and if it is a boy we shall name him Sasha Junior," was her sarcastic reply. Who would have known that those words would come back to haunt her? Payson/Sasha drabble.

Sixteen-by-Eight Feet

"You have got to be kidding me," Payson exclaimed as she looked at the silver 'luxury' trailer, her face contorted in abject horror. "Please tell me you're kidding, Sasha," she begged, hoping to a god she hardly believed in that this was yet another example of his quirky, British humour.

Sasha shrugged, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "I thought this was what you wanted, love," he responded with a broad smile. "I remember you saying so to the girls."

She hardly stopped to contemplate how he knew what she had said when he wasn't even in the room at the time – she had long ago given up on trying to figure out how Sasha knew the things that he knew – and instead took in the whole image presented, with a painful cringe. The airstream had been given a good clean – which was at least something she could be grateful for – and decorated by her former teammates and best friends with an extravagant 'Just Married' sign and trails of tin cans. She'd probably think it was funny if it was happening to anyone else and could imagine how comical it must look to any passers-by to see the bride and groom standing outside the recreational vehicle being seen off by their family and friends.

Payson glared at her three best friends – Kaylie Cruz, Emily Kmetko-Young, and Lauren Tanner – all wearing matching bridesmaids dresses and grins. She took a deep, calming breath to stop herself from screaming, and gave them a stern warning. "I swear that I will find out which of you told and when I do, I will make you pay for this," she said tersely, staring each of them down. Her instincts and past experience said Lauren, but Emily was looking especially pleased with herself and Kaylie was looking away suspiciously, so it could have been any of the three.

"C'mon, love," Sasha cajoled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "it'll be fun. An adventure even: three weeks, just the two of us, crossing the country. It'll be great."

Payson gave him a sceptical look as her mother cut in with her support. "Sasha's right, Pay," Kim smiled. "You just need to . . . relax and enjoy." At times like this, Payson wished that her mother and her husband weren't quite such good friends. Now that she thought about it, she kinda suspected her mother had a hand in what was passing for a honeymoon.

"Seriously," she sighed, looking desperately up at Sasha who just continued to beam back at her, "are you completely oblivious to any sort of subtle hint? Hawaii, Sasha. Hawaii."

He laughed, even though he knew he shouldn't, placing a kiss on her forehead to placate her when she sent him a grumpy look. "I don't remember any subtlety, but no I am not oblivious to your 'hints'," he laughed. "Everyone has a honeymoon in Hawaii, I thought we'd try something different and a bit more you and me. I mean, what on earth would we do in Hawaii for three weeks?"

She blinked at him, surprised he even had to ask that question, but not wanting to answer it while her mother was still in hearing distance. There was really only one thing most honeymooning couples did in Hawaii for three weeks, and in just sixteen-by-eight feet of space and with his new bride not entirely impressed with his creativity, Sasha would be unlikely to emulate them.

"Well, we should go," Sasha told the crowd, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "we've got a lot of ground to cover." With that said, they made quick work of their goodbyes, Sasha straining a smile at the veiled threat that he received from his father-in-law. Payson similarly strained through some last minute advice from her mother – advice that her mother should have been much more uncomfortable giving, given that it referred to a man she tended to think of as both a son and best friend – advice that was somewhat unnecessary.

"Right," Sasha said, before unexpectedly hoisting his bride into his arms. "Could someone get the passenger door?" he asked as Payson struggled slightly in his arms, a small smile lighting her face despite herself. He gently deposited her the passenger seat of his truck, this standing in for an actual threshold for the time being. With an almost childlike giddiness, he rushed to the other side of the car, waving at the small crowd before joining his wife.

"Ready, love?" he asked before turning the keys, eagerly anticipating her response.

Payson said nothing, instead murmuring lowly under her breath. "Are you alright?" he asked. "What are you doing, Payson?"

She tilted her head towards him, sending an ironic smile as she spoke. "Just reminding myself that I am deeply, deeply in love with you," she began, making him grin prematurely, "and that it is illegal to kill in all fifty states.

"Even Hawaii."

~FIN?~