Title: Requiscat in Pace
Author: Meret
Spoilers: Shimmer, Crush, Tempest (AKA No Warning)
Rating: G
Email: This is my first Smallville fic. Please let me know what
you think at meret118@netscape.net
Summary: Lionel thinks at Lilly's funeral service.
Web Page:http://www.geocities.com/meretsv/
These characters are owned by Millar Gough and WB. No profit
is intended from their use. If I owned them, I'd be busy finding
out if Clark had super stamina too.
My thanks to Rosenho for her encouragement and to the generous
Jennifus for her wonderful beta. :) Author's notes at the end.
Requiscat In Pace
by Meret
May 10th, 1993, Metropolis
". . . Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod
and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before
me in the presence of mine enemies . . . ."
Lionel ignored the drone of the reverend, just as he did the
overpowering scent of the lilies. It was all rubbish anyway.
Dead was dead. The only kingdoms were the ones on earth. The
ones he ruled, and the ones he would rule in the future. But
Lilly had wanted this service. She had planned it all out to
the smallest detail so he wouldn't have to deal with it. Even
at the end she hadn't stopped caring, hadn't stopped putting
others' needs first.
He had never loved anyone like he loved Lilly. He had never
met anyone like her before, and he would never meet anyone like
her again - in this world or some nonexistent paradise. Lionel
gave to charity. They were good tax deductions and even better
PR. But he didn't enjoy it. Not like Lilly. Her favorite part
about having money seemed to be giving it away. She had
made The Luther Charity Foundation into one of the premier
benevolent organizations in the world.
She loved musicals and old movies, her favorite movie being "It's
a Wonderful Life." The one she was always quoting to him though
was "Hello Dolly." "Money, pardon the expression, is like manure.
It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young
things to grow," complete with a wicked Streisand impersonation.
Money was nothing like manure. Well, all right . . . in the
fertilizer business, yes. Not the way she meant it, though. But
anything with "Barbara" in it was the best as far as she was
concerned. He'd showered her with more jewels than the Queen of
England, but her favorite present he'd ever given her was the
private concert with Streisand he'd arranged for her birthday.
Her laughter. He had been trying to decide what was the first
thing he had noticed about her. It was important to know now for
some reason. She seemed to live outside her skin. He hadn't known
a person could feel so much. Her laughter was audible champagne
and her tears scalded worse than any betrayal. She made him feel
alive.
He didn't know how he had found the strength to watch her die.
Watching her suffer was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He had
never been so grateful to have work as an outlet, an escape from
her endless pain and his helplessness to stop it. It had been
torment seeing her like that. Apart of him hated her for putting
him through it.
He had already decided he would never marry again, never let
himself love again. He couldn't risk having to go through this
again. Nothing was worth this. No, that wasn't true, he thought,
glancing at his son sitting stiffly beside him. Lex was worth it.
He was the only reason that made this pain worthwhile. He was
clutching the watch Lionel had had made for Lilly to give him.
She was too sick at that point to truly understand the significance
of it, but he'd made sure Lex did.
Lex's eyes were still a bit swollen, but the compresses had
helped, and the discreet application of make-up had covered the
redness. Discretion was the key in all things. A few tears were
fine. They showed respect. Assured the public of your nobility.
But not the uncontrolled sobbing that Lex had indulged in. He had
had to discipline Lex several times before he finally stopped. A
bad trait Lex had picked up from his mother, but Lionel was sure
he had ended the habit in time. Showing emotion was a liability
a Luthor couldn't afford.
He shifted slightly as Leontyne Price began Ave Maria. The
turnout was good, as expected - business leaders, a few well known
figures in the arts for cachet, even a couple of former heads of
state. Lillian's plans for the service had been too simple of course.
The grave site would need to be made larger as well. Maybe a statue
of some sort. Not your everyday angel. Something different, unique,
as befitting a Luthor.
He glanced again at the next generation of Luthors sitting beside
him. A part of him also hated Lex for being so easily influenced
by his mother. It was fine for Lilly to act like she did. She had
him to protect her. But one day Lionel wouldn't be around to protect
Lex. He had to be able to make it on his own.
He hated Lex for being so weak that he left Lionel with no options.
He hated Lex more than he hated Lilly, but he blamed Lilly more. She
was the adult, the parent. She should have been able to force herself
to act differently in order to help their child prepare for his place
in the world. It wasn't as if Lionel had wanted to make the choice he
did. He had put it off for years, hoping one of them would change.
But Lex just became more and more like her no matter what he did to
prevent it. In the end the most difficult part hadn't been the
decision to finally do it, he had no choice there, but the decision
as to how.
His first thought had been an accident of some sort. Something
quick and painless. He certainly didn't want Lilly to suffer. But
since he was doing this all for Lex, then he needed to make sure it
was worth it, that Lilly's death wouldn't be wasted in any way. It
had been far easier than he would have thought to introduce the
modified cells into her system - a routine flu shot. The slow, hard
death made more of impact on Lex. He would never let anyone get under
his skin enough to influence him again. The risk of pain was too
great. Pamela's leaving had only reinforced that. Lionel had loved
Lilly more than anything in the world, but a good parent always puts
his child first. He knew she would have understood that.
End
Author's Notes: The verse excerpt at the beginning of the
story is from the 23rd Psalm.
The movie quote is from the 1969 movie Hello Dolly
Author: Meret
Spoilers: Shimmer, Crush, Tempest (AKA No Warning)
Rating: G
Email: This is my first Smallville fic. Please let me know what
you think at meret118@netscape.net
Summary: Lionel thinks at Lilly's funeral service.
Web Page:http://www.geocities.com/meretsv/
These characters are owned by Millar Gough and WB. No profit
is intended from their use. If I owned them, I'd be busy finding
out if Clark had super stamina too.
My thanks to Rosenho for her encouragement and to the generous
Jennifus for her wonderful beta. :) Author's notes at the end.
Requiscat In Pace
by Meret
May 10th, 1993, Metropolis
". . . Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod
and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before
me in the presence of mine enemies . . . ."
Lionel ignored the drone of the reverend, just as he did the
overpowering scent of the lilies. It was all rubbish anyway.
Dead was dead. The only kingdoms were the ones on earth. The
ones he ruled, and the ones he would rule in the future. But
Lilly had wanted this service. She had planned it all out to
the smallest detail so he wouldn't have to deal with it. Even
at the end she hadn't stopped caring, hadn't stopped putting
others' needs first.
He had never loved anyone like he loved Lilly. He had never
met anyone like her before, and he would never meet anyone like
her again - in this world or some nonexistent paradise. Lionel
gave to charity. They were good tax deductions and even better
PR. But he didn't enjoy it. Not like Lilly. Her favorite part
about having money seemed to be giving it away. She had
made The Luther Charity Foundation into one of the premier
benevolent organizations in the world.
She loved musicals and old movies, her favorite movie being "It's
a Wonderful Life." The one she was always quoting to him though
was "Hello Dolly." "Money, pardon the expression, is like manure.
It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young
things to grow," complete with a wicked Streisand impersonation.
Money was nothing like manure. Well, all right . . . in the
fertilizer business, yes. Not the way she meant it, though. But
anything with "Barbara" in it was the best as far as she was
concerned. He'd showered her with more jewels than the Queen of
England, but her favorite present he'd ever given her was the
private concert with Streisand he'd arranged for her birthday.
Her laughter. He had been trying to decide what was the first
thing he had noticed about her. It was important to know now for
some reason. She seemed to live outside her skin. He hadn't known
a person could feel so much. Her laughter was audible champagne
and her tears scalded worse than any betrayal. She made him feel
alive.
He didn't know how he had found the strength to watch her die.
Watching her suffer was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He had
never been so grateful to have work as an outlet, an escape from
her endless pain and his helplessness to stop it. It had been
torment seeing her like that. Apart of him hated her for putting
him through it.
He had already decided he would never marry again, never let
himself love again. He couldn't risk having to go through this
again. Nothing was worth this. No, that wasn't true, he thought,
glancing at his son sitting stiffly beside him. Lex was worth it.
He was the only reason that made this pain worthwhile. He was
clutching the watch Lionel had had made for Lilly to give him.
She was too sick at that point to truly understand the significance
of it, but he'd made sure Lex did.
Lex's eyes were still a bit swollen, but the compresses had
helped, and the discreet application of make-up had covered the
redness. Discretion was the key in all things. A few tears were
fine. They showed respect. Assured the public of your nobility.
But not the uncontrolled sobbing that Lex had indulged in. He had
had to discipline Lex several times before he finally stopped. A
bad trait Lex had picked up from his mother, but Lionel was sure
he had ended the habit in time. Showing emotion was a liability
a Luthor couldn't afford.
He shifted slightly as Leontyne Price began Ave Maria. The
turnout was good, as expected - business leaders, a few well known
figures in the arts for cachet, even a couple of former heads of
state. Lillian's plans for the service had been too simple of course.
The grave site would need to be made larger as well. Maybe a statue
of some sort. Not your everyday angel. Something different, unique,
as befitting a Luthor.
He glanced again at the next generation of Luthors sitting beside
him. A part of him also hated Lex for being so easily influenced
by his mother. It was fine for Lilly to act like she did. She had
him to protect her. But one day Lionel wouldn't be around to protect
Lex. He had to be able to make it on his own.
He hated Lex for being so weak that he left Lionel with no options.
He hated Lex more than he hated Lilly, but he blamed Lilly more. She
was the adult, the parent. She should have been able to force herself
to act differently in order to help their child prepare for his place
in the world. It wasn't as if Lionel had wanted to make the choice he
did. He had put it off for years, hoping one of them would change.
But Lex just became more and more like her no matter what he did to
prevent it. In the end the most difficult part hadn't been the
decision to finally do it, he had no choice there, but the decision
as to how.
His first thought had been an accident of some sort. Something
quick and painless. He certainly didn't want Lilly to suffer. But
since he was doing this all for Lex, then he needed to make sure it
was worth it, that Lilly's death wouldn't be wasted in any way. It
had been far easier than he would have thought to introduce the
modified cells into her system - a routine flu shot. The slow, hard
death made more of impact on Lex. He would never let anyone get under
his skin enough to influence him again. The risk of pain was too
great. Pamela's leaving had only reinforced that. Lionel had loved
Lilly more than anything in the world, but a good parent always puts
his child first. He knew she would have understood that.
End
Author's Notes: The verse excerpt at the beginning of the
story is from the 23rd Psalm.
The movie quote is from the 1969 movie Hello Dolly