N: One shot written for the Author2Author exchange on LJ. I apologize for any mistakes you might find, I could not find a beta, since I am not a regular writer. My friend bibi 13ca looked over it, but she warned me that my style is out of her comfort zone.
Sorry for the lack of M in 'Mature' but I am not comfortable with smut all that much, I hope you still like it.
Miss Mistletoe
You don't understand what went wrong. When you broke up with Stefan and crushed his dreams, his heart and the relationship between the two of you, you did it for him. Once the words came out of your mouth, everything made sense. Stefan had been great and just what you needed when you started over after your parents' death. He'd been supportive, he'd been understanding with you every step of the way, he'd been…different. But you changed, you grew up and matured. All of sudden sweet and understanding isn't all you are looking for. Now you want what you never had: passion, adventure and just a little danger. No, not the type of danger you are constantly in; the type of danger that makes your heart rate race for all the right reasons.
He is ignoring you and it hurts because you miss him, so much. Every time you walk into a room he is in, he looks at you and when he notices that you are practically staring at him, he just leaves without saying a word. It's not just you; he doesn't talk to anyone and that worries you. Before, you knew he had Ric, but now…he must feel so alone. You know the feeling because you feel the same way. There is no one that you can talk to, no one that would understand. It's been forever since you had a heart to heart with someone. Bonnie, Caroline, you love them to death, but they just don't understand.
For a moment, you close your eyes and think about him. You wonder if he feels the same way you do. Every time you look at him, it feels like someone's ripping your heart out and sets it on fire. He told you to be free, that he will be happy with that. Truth is that no matter how much you want to please him and make him happy, you can't be free, because you can't let him go. Damon Salvatore has gotten under your skin and no matter what you do, you can't shake him. It feels like he is part of you. Pure and simple, you need him in order to function properly.
As you descend the stairs, you notice him in the kitchen. Hell, you feel him near. You hesitate a few seconds before advancing towards the kitchen at slow pace. He places something back in the fridge as you enter the room.
"Do you mind?" you ask, you don't even know when you got to the point or you have to ask for permission to be near him, but you do.
"Please do, I am done anyway," he mumbles casually.
"Damon, wait," you shout and he stops just before reaching the door. He doesn't turn around, he is still, waiting for you to say something; something meaningful, you guess. The problem is you don't know what to say. The constant thought that you finally lost him for good is clouding your judgement. There isn't a clear thought in your mind. Nothing you think of is good enough and you know it. He needs more than simple words.
"Did you want something, Elena?" ah, how he loves saying your name. But this time, your name off his lips is not passionate and full of meaning. He is talking to you the way he talks to anyone else and that simple fact is enough to drive you crazy. You are so used to being special to him that you don't know how to handle normal.
"You're avoiding me," you say softly. You are cursing yourself for not finding something better to say to him. It's the first time you two speak in days and you are ruing it. It is so typical of you to ruin everything…everything you come in contact with.
"I'm not avoiding you, if I was, I wouldn't be in the same room as you right now," he comments. You feel like slapping him out of his new found martyr complex. You don't want to be let go, you admitted your feelings, you were happy. Why did he have to play the good guy and do the right thing? Sire bond be damned, you know what you feel.
"It's that first time in weeks that we are in the same room for more than five seconds."
"I've been busy training your brother, remember?"
"That's not it, Damon!"
"For Christ sake, Elena, just go to my brother if you're feeling lonely, I'm sure he will be more than happy to take you back," he shouts and just like that, he storms out of the room, leaving you alone and confused.
***DE***
There is food, at least ten different sorts of cake and hundreds of different alcoholic beverages to choose from and still, you feel like something's missing. You look down the stairs in the large Lockwood mansion. Stefan and Caroline are dancing. Maybe all this would have ended up better if you would've let Caroline be with Stefan. After all, she was the one that saw him first. The words sound so familiar and the night you called Damon and told him that if you and he met first it would've been different immediately comes to mind. No wonder the guy's avoiding you; you broke his heart time and time again. The difference is that this time, you know how it feels, because you feel the same way. Your heart is just as broken.
Looking for a quiet place to hide, you go down the stair and into the kitchen. You find some eggnog. You love that drink, you loved it even since you were old enough to be allowed to take sip from your mother's glass.
After the fourth glass of eggnog and the second one of tequila, you decide to join the 'party' because you can hear a few people whispering your name, looking for you for some reason you can't understand. You're a little tipsy, and instead of watching where you are going, you just stare at the lapis lazuli ring on your finger. Yu are wondering if you should return it back to Stefan now that you two are over. Right in the doorway, you bump into someone. You know who it is before looking at him. Out of a million, you would still be able to recognize his scent. In the back of your mind you are still debating whatever it's creepy or cute that you can do that.
"People are looking for you," he says in a deep, controlled voice.
"They probably just think I'm either losing it or killing someone," you shrug. You don't actually care what they think. Why should you answer to any of those people anyway? None of them is really trying to understand you or really help you and support you, all they want to do is judge you and tell you everything you should be doing and things you shouldn't be doing. Are they really entitled to do so? Are they better than you? The answer is clear, they are not. you are all the same: impulsive, passionate, reckless and selfish.
"Or worse, they might think you're with me," he says and you raise your eyebrow at him.
"I am with you," you reply. "And I don't give a dam whatever they like it or not. I just –" the sound of someone clearing their voice cuts your words. You look past Damon and you see Matt. His hands crossed in front of his chest and a – what seems like diabolical – smile on his face. You're wondering what he's up to.
"So are you two going to kiss already and step out of the way?" he asks looking up. From instinct, you do the same. There is a tiny branch of mistletoe right over your heads. Yu can almost feel Damon's conflict with himself.
"Oh no you won't!" you shout. "You already stopped me from kissing you under the mistletoe once; you're not doing it again." He turns around and you look straight ahead to see what got his attention. Looks like the people looking for just found you. There's Caroline, her eyes are almost out of her head. Besides Matt is Jeremy, holding Bonnie's hand. You are not certain, but you are pretty sure you can see a smirk in the corner of your brother's lips. Bonnie's look if full of pity, but understanding in the same time. There are a few other people you don't really care to identify and you are pretty sure you saw Klaus somewhere in the back too. In the middle of them all, there is one person, one person that makes you question your moves for a few seconds: Stefan. You understand. Even if you would've met Damon first, you would've still fallen for Stefan. Stefan was your checkpoint. He was what prepared you for the next step. In our lives, we fall in love multiple times, now you know why. We fall in love time and time again, so that when it really happens, when finally the love of your life comes along, you'll know. That's how you know that what you feel for Damon now it's the real thing. Matt and Stefan had been the process that helped you figure it out.
"Damon," you start softly. Your right hand cups his face, forcing him to look at you. "The sire bond changes how you act, not how you feel. You told me to go away, stay away from you and be free, but I can't. I can stay way, but I can't be free. I had feelings for you before I turned; being a vampire just heightened those feelings. You knew that, you knew it since that night in Denver. That's why you waited for my decision, that's why you were so heart broken when I chose to go back to Mystic Falls and to Stefan that night…because you knew I had feelings for you and you expected me to be brave enough to admit it," you stop for a second to let the words sink in. "I wasn't brave enough then, because being with you Damon, it scares the hell out of me. The things I feel when I'm around you, I never felt that way before. And the things I can do with you, it's like you make me stronger." Without hesitation, you get on your tiptoes and press your lips on his. At first, he doesn't react and you feel the world might crumble around you. For a moment you can imagine how it would be like if this was it, if he is done waiting for you. The thought is too painful so you ignore it as you keep trying to kiss him even if he has still to open his mouth and respond.
When he finally parts his lips, it feels like your prayers had been answered. Both your hands go around his neck, pulling him closer. You just want to feel him, all of him, to make sure it is real. His hand goes around your waist and you know that is his way of telling you, he's willing to take you back.
Once you finally break apart from him, everyone is still there, string at you. "Damon," you start whispering in his ear. "Take me out of here," you ask him. There is plenty of time to deal with all the people later.
"My pleasure," you barely here his replay.
***DE***
The next minutes are a blur, all you know is that his hands are everywhere on your body and that door to his room is now closed. He places you on the bed, taking off your t-shirt at the same time. "I have missed your touch," you manage between kisses. You feel him smiling against your lips.
"I have missed touching you," he says. At this point, whatever he says sets you on fire, his hands are caressing your legs and it takes you a while to realize you are no longer wearing your skin-tight jeans. You're both moving fast, starving for each other, like it has been years since you've been together. His fingers fill you, preparing you, feeling every inch.
Making love to him is heart breaking and it's magical and sinful all at the same time. A part of you is ready to blush, because you are ready to do anything for this man and it has nothing to do with the sire bond. Christmas has been good to you this year; it has given you true love.
N: Well, I guess this is it. I will certainly appreciate any feedback, good or bad. Happy New Year everyone!